What to do schizoid? The question that was asked by one of my subscribers to one of the publications about schizoids. In this article, I would like to answer him. As far as I understand the basis of the question: what to do schizoid? - It is a question: how to solve the main internal conflict of schizoid? Choose relationships or isolation, detachment and loneliness?

First of all, I wanted to notice that I probably could not be answered by a certain, specific advice, by type: do it and you will be happy. And in this question, I adhere to such an opinion. But, of course, some tips and directions may become very useful in order to better understand yourself and determine what to do next.

So: the first thing you need to do with the conflict is to bring it to the balance. The conflict is, by and large, two poles of one world, for example: isolation-related relationship. As a rule, schizoids are typical either to completely go into isolation and remain in complete loneliness, or to completely go into relationships, merge and never part.

And here the task is to come to some balance, some kind of middle. At first, you will most likely comprehend from time to time failure, it will be difficult to keep this middle - and this is normal. It's like cycling. After all, in fact, the ability to stay on the bike is and there is a skill to keep the balance so as not to fall left or right. Or, for example, how walking with a cane on a rope. By the way, psychotherapy can serve as a similar cane.

In general, for schizoids, psychotherapy is very recommended. Because, it is like artificially created relationships, the only relationship in which schizoid can purchase safe affection. This is the place where you will not be used, manipulate you, do something not in your favor. Where the psychotherapist is escort, this is, the same cane that will help find the balance and see if you start to tear into some kind of side. Relationships in which can tell what is happening, but the decision is only independently.

And although it seems, it is an artificially created environment, but feelings and relations at the same time, inside it real. This is just what can help schizoid to understand: how to build relationships, how to approach, gather, how to choose a distance. Because, by and large, for schizoid, the main complexity is the choice of distance. It is easier for him: either stay alone and spread with relationships, or completely merge with another person.

In psychotherapy, the passage of this moment is long, you will most likely need a year or two to explore, go through your own experience and gain experience of safe relationships. After which you can easily come into relations with other people in real life.

If you at the moment, there is no possibility to turn to psychotherapy: I would recommend schizoids that are really very detached and isolated, all the same take yourself in hand and go to society. Go to some events, lectures, study, dancing, find a new hobby in which you will do something together. You may find some kind of interest group, usually come there easier. Go and look for yourself a company, learn to be friends, communicate. Yes, it may sometimes be born. Yes, at such moments will hurt. Yes, I know there are many evil people, unfasteless, unworthy. Yes, you will encounter such. Yes, you will hurt. Yes, you are most likely again, at some point we will leave again.

But, this is a normal process, it is normal: sometimes go back to people, to life, sometimes leave again, survive this wreck, overlook, overpaid, and again go to people.

The main problem of schizoid dynamics, the moment when it becomes exactly the problem - this is when a person decides that here, one, the second, the third "bad" person caught - it means all those, which means only those. After all, it is, by and large, injury, it is a injured schizoid. This is how to penetrate one melon at all. Such people were caught, all that means only such, it means that I will come across only such "bad." Better I will stay at home, in isolation.

It is important here to remember that yes, there are many bad, bad people in the world, but besides them, there are other, normal, good people. I think you consider yourself a good person. And this means that your task is to find the same good person. At least 3-4 good people for friendship, and one - for personal relationships. All you will have enough with your head! But for this you need to look, to burn, look for more, open, tell about yourself. Do not be afraid to ask for help, ask for some internal support. Of course, open about a little bit, you do not need to immediately pour the whole soul, open and open what kind of person in front of you. Your or not, try to feel: ask yourself questions, watch.

Another thing is, if you are unconsciously aimed at being in isolation after all. Or if you unconsciously have a conviction that all of you are wounded, offended, injured, then you will: either find people trauming you or in every person to see, only bad, bad people. That's where, there can also be a danger.

But other ways, except to go, try, rope, wound, heal the wounds, and again go to the relationship, no. In the end, you can find your people and surround yourself by them. This is a long process that may take years, but there are no other options. An exception can be only therapy, where you are in a year or two, you can find this balance and will find the opportunity to enter into relationships, interrupt them and so on. I wish you success in this difficult, but very important! And if you still have any questions, be sure to ask!

Sincerely, Larisa Bandura!

Nancy McVilliams

According to my experience, people with severe schizoid features are much more common than we think. They have signs of mental and emotional health, despite the fact that there are people among them different representatives: from having psychotic traits to enviable healthy. Neurotic conflicts are not central schizoid problems (Stainer, 1993), and the most highly functioning of them, which are quite a lot, are largely more healthy compared to neurotics (life satisfaction, self-control, regulation of affect, constancy I and object, relationship , creativity). Despite the fact that the term of Jung "introversion" is less stigmatizing, I prefer to use the word "schizoid", since it refers to the complex intrapsychological life of an introverted person, and not to the usual introspection and striving for solitude, which can be attributed to more - It is superficial.

It seems that specialists in the field of mental health, do not notice the existence of highly functioning schizoids, since many personality with schizoid dynamics are hiding or "lost" against the rest. They not only experience something like allergies to an unauthorized looking look, but also fear that they will be considered crazy or strange. It should be remembered that non-schizoids really strive to attribute pathological features more eccentric compared to them people leading a very secluded lifestyle. The schizoids themselves are afraid of close attention to their own person, fearing that they will be considered abnormal, especially since some of them doubt their own savers, regardless of whether it is or not. In fact, their fear of being psychotic is a projection that their inner world is so unavailable, unconscious, unique and intolerable for others, that isolation becomes akin to madness.

People who are not related to psychology consider schizoids strange and incomprehensible. And even mental health professionals tend to consider schizoid personalities mentally primitive and abnormal. The appearance of the concept of Mevany Klein (1946) about the "schizoid-paranoid" position as a prerequisite for understanding the separation process from others ("depressive position") led to the fact that this earlier stage is considered "immature" or "archaic" (SASS, 1992, p. 21). In addition, there were assumptions that the traits of a schizoid personality are signs of schizophrenic psychosis. The behavior typical for schizoids can indeed repeat the early stages of schizophrenic care. The view is common that a teenager who is more and more spent in his room and lives fantasies, in the end it can become a psychotic. Schizoid and schizophrenia can be "cousins": the latest studies of schizophrenic disorders confirmed the presence of a genetic predisposition, which can manifest itself anywhere in a wide range of acute schizophrenia to a normal schizoid personality (Weinberger, 2004). (On the other hand, there are many people with a diagnosis of "schizophrenia", whose premorbid personality can be described as predominantly paranoid, obsessive, hysterical, depressive or narcissistic).

Another reason why schizoid is considered pathology is that many of them feel like people with psychotic disorders. One of my colleagues, who belonged to schizoids, prefers to work with psychotic, and not "healthy neurotes," because he perceives neurotes, as "dishonest" (i.e. defending), while psychotics are involved in authentic struggle with internal demons. Some scientists who have made a significant contribution to the development of the theory of personality (for example, K. Jung and Sullivan), not only had pronounced schizoid features, but also experienced short-term psychotic episodes that did not lead to the development of schizophrenia. We can assume that the ability of these analysts to perceive the subjective experience of deeply disturbed patients is based on the fact that they themselves relatively easily engaged in contact with their internal potential to madness.

Even highly functioning and emotionally stable schizoid personalities are worried about their sameny. My close friend was very upset by looking at the film "Mind Games", which shows the gradual development of psychosis at the outstanding mathematics of John Nash. The film very realistic immerses the viewer into the world of Nash and in the end discourages the fact that some heroes seemed by real people are only fragments of hallucination of the main character. Suddenly it becomes clear that the thought process of mathematics passed the way from creative genius to psychotic feedback. My friend began painfully reflecting that he, like Nash, could not always be distinguished when he was creatively approached to understanding the relationship between, it would seem absolutely unrelated phenomena; and situations when he builds completely insane ties that others would take for madness or nonsense. He spoke about his experiences and anxiety to his relatively schizoid analyst, who, in response to the words of the patient that he could not trust his mind, answered quite frankly: "Yeah, tell me about it!" (In the section dedicated to therapeutic recommendations, I will explain why this replica was quite sensitive, reasonable and therapeutic in this situation, despite the "output" from the role of the analyst.)

Despite the existence of some connection between the psychology of the schizoid and the sensitivity of psychotic, I was always impressed with high creativity, personal satisfaction and social significance of a schizoid person, who is closely familiar with the fact that Freud called the primary processes. It seems that he never threatens a serious psychotic breakdown. A large number of such people work in the field of art, theoretical sciences, philosophical and spiritual disciplines, including psychoanalysis. Harold Davis in the personal correspondence with Harry Gantrip once joked that "psychoanalysis is a schizoid profession to work with schizoids." Practical studies of the types of psychotherapist personalities at the University of McCaury (Sydney, Australia) showed that the depressive type prevails among psychotherapists, and among the men schizoid.

I suppose it can be explained by the fact that highly functioning schizoids are not surprised by manifestations of the unconscious and do not run from them. The fact is that they have a fairly close connection (it is often not always pleasant) with the internal processes that most people do not even realize. Familiarity with his unconscious allows them to most fully understand psychoanalytic ideas, to which most people would have to make their way to the couch, and it is hard to overcome various protection to get to their hostile impulses, images or feelings. Schizoids are introspective, they love to wander around the catches of their mind, and in the process of passing the analysis they manage to find completely accurate and taking metaphors to describe their inner world. In addition, the work of a psychoanalyst or passage of personal analysis is an excellent option for resolving the central schizoid conflict about distance and proximity (Vilis, 1956).

I was always attracted by schizoid personalities. I recently realized that most of my close friends belong to them. My type, which is a combination of hysterical and depressive, is very organically complemented by schizoid. I will also try to talk about this in this article. It is worth mentioning a rather unexpected response to my book on psychoanalytic psychodiagnostics. It is often suitable for people who say that some particular chapter or description helped them to understand people of some kind, to determine their own, or turned out to be useful in working with clients. However, the section dedicated to schizoids always causes a special reaction. Several times after the seminar or lecture someone came to me (often he quietly sat all this time in the back row, closer to the exit), I was convinced that he did not disturb my personal borders, and said something like: "I just said I wanted to thank you for the chapter about schizoids. You really understood us. "

Despite the fact that readers are suitable to express their personal appreciation, not to praise my professionalism, I am always striking that schizoids say "us." I thought about whether these people do not feel like a community, similar to sexual minorities. They are very worried about the fact that they are not considered "mentally ill or" having some kind of disorder "precisely because they feel a minority. Mental health professionals are often discussing issues related to schizoids, the tone they talk about gays, lesbians, bisexuals and transgender. We tend to equate the dynamics of a schizoid personality to pathology and distribute their conclusions to the whole group, creating an idea of \u200b\u200bthem only on the basis of those who appealed for psychiatric help in connection with idiosyncrazic issues.

Sensitivity of schizoids is often stigmatized, because we, without thinking, supporting each other's opinion that our psychology of the majority is the norm, and exceptions fall into the section of psychopathology. There is a chance that the behavior of people is determined by absolutely different psychodynamic and other factors (for example, constitutional features, personal history and the context of the situation), therefore, in the field of mental health, it is impossible to operate with categories better / worse than someone. People inherent in the propensity to evaluate and rank each other's differences, and as a result of the lower position in the society hierarchy occupies a minority.

If you look at the word "us," we will see that schizoids recognize each other. They feel members of society, which one of my friends described as the "single community". Homosexual people have the so-called "gay radar", just many schizoids easily recognize each other in the crowd. They talk about the deep feeling of kinship and understanding, despite the fact that they lead a fairly secluded lifestyle, they rarely speak each other about "kinship" and do not express the reaction of "recognition" openly. I noticed that popular literature was now to appear, trying to talk about schizoid features within the norm and even from the point of view of some value: sensitivity (for example, super-sensitive nature [Aaron, 1996]), introversion (for example, invincible introvert, [LANI, 2002 ]), and the desire for privacy (for example, a party for one: a single manifesto [Rufus, 2003]). My friend schizoid told how once at school he walked along the corridor together with classmates and a teacher who seemed to him, had similar features with him. On the way to the office, they passed by a photo on which Koni Island was captured on a hot summer day, the beach was crowded with people so much that there was no sand. The teacher looked at my friend, nodded towards photography and wrinkled, expressing fear and the desire to escape. My friend was surprised and nodded in response. They understood each other without words.

My definition of a schizoid personality
I use the term "schizoid" in the meaning in which he appeared in the works of British representatives of the theory of object relations, and not in the meaning described in the ICD (see Akhtar, 1992, p. 139; Daizh, 2001, p. 284; Gabbard, 1994 , p. 431; Gantrip, 1969). In the ICD, it is based on the differences in schizoid and avoiding psychology, it is argued that avoiding personality disorder includes the desire to be closer, despite the distance, and the schizoid disorder implies indifference to the proximity. I have never met a person neither among people with disorders, nor among mentally healthy, whose closure would not be the result of an internal conflict (Kernberg, 1984). Recent studies confirm this clinical observation (Shender and Western, 2004). We are creatures seeking affection. The disgrace of a schizoid man is rather a protective strategy for the care of recovery, traumatic interaction and lack of forces. Experienced therapists know that such a client behavior should not be perceived literally, no matter how cruel, repulsive and unpleasant it seemed.

Before neuroleptics were invented, psychotherapists worked with psychotics without the use of medicines, such as, for example, the lodge is honest in the clinic. The reports said the catatonic care of patients who were returned back when they felt safe enough to contact people again. (There was one pretty well-known case, the written confirmation of which I could not find. Fried Fromm Reichman sat next to a catatonic schizophrenic on the hour per day, writing everything that happened in the ward and possible feelings of the patient. After a year of daily observations, the patient suddenly turned to She said that he did not agree with the fact that she wrote a couple of months ago).

The psychoanalytic term "schizoid" appeared as a result of research "split" between the inner life and its external manifestations in human behavior. (Laying, 1965). For example, schizoids clearly demonstrate emotional alienation, but in therapy they describe an incredible desire and desire for proximity, including fantasies about deep trusting relations. They seem self-sufficient, and at the same time, everyone who knows them close, talks about their strong emotional needs and deep experiences. They can be scattered and very attentive at the same time, seem absolutely uneconomic and suffer from increased sensitivity, look affectively stupid, while internally try to cope with the fact that my friend described as "Protofoff" - the experience of fear from the capture of strong emotion. They seem absolutely indifferent to sex, while being involved in the sexually saturated, diverse, in detail of a developed fantasy life. They may surprise others with their unusually tender soul and periodically fantasize the destruction of the world.

Perhaps the appearance of the term influenced the characteristic alarms of schizoids about fragmentation, diffusion and decay on the part. They feel too vulnerable to uncontrolled split parts, I have heard that they described their attempts to cope with this dangerous and destructive feeling of their self. Someone walked into the shawl, swinging, meditated, put a coat turned inside out, hid in a wardrobe, etc. All these ways to complaint say that they are confident that other people are a source of disorders, not peace of mind and consolation. At schizoids, annihilation alarms occurs more often than the separation, and even the most healthy of them periodically experience psychotic fears like the feeling that the world will explode, fall apart or flooding at any time, and the soil will disappear under the legs. Most of all, they need to protect the unreal kernel of their I (Elkin, 1972; Eigen, 1973).

Being a sequence of ego-psychology, I consider it useful to consider a schizoid personality in the context of its fundamental and usual protective mechanism. It can be an external (geographical), as in the case of a man who retired in his office or a remote place, when the world around him was collapsed; Or inner when a woman was removed in his fantasy. Theoretics of object relations emphasized the presence of an internal conflict of proximity, during the solution of which the physical distance usually conquers (Fairburn, 1940; Gantrip, 1969).

In more disturbed schizoids, care may look like a continuous state of psychological inaccessibility, more healthy has oscillation between the contact and its rupture. To describe the schizoid search for an affective connection, creating a distance to restore your I suspect a threat from the intensity of interaction, Gantrip (1969, p. 36) brought the term "the program that inside, then out." Such behavior is clearly manifested in the sexual sphere, but is present in the rest of the personal life.

I think that schizoid personalities are so attractive, because care is relatively "primitive", global, focused on itself, which eliminates the need to use more distorting, displacing and presumably "mature" protection. A woman who is in a state of stress simply leaves (physically or psychologically), no need to use denial, substitution, reactive education or rationalization. Consequently, affects, images, ideas, impulses that non-schizoid people are removed from consciousness, she remains free to access, making it emotionally open and honest so much that it still amazes me and, probably, other people (especially not -Shisoid). They appear in front of us unexpectedly and amazingly sincere.

Another characteristic feature of schizoids (which is often misunderstood and evaluated either negatively as perverse, or positively as a nature of character) is indifference or even avoiding attention to his own person and admire them. Although they may wish that their creativity affect others, most of the schizoid personalities from among my acquaintances would like to not pay attention to them. Their need for space outweighs interest in a narcissistic feed. Colleagues of my husband, whom students appreciate the originality and mind, often noted that he tries to publish his articles in very little-known magazines, absolutely not worrying about the creation of an academic reputation. Glory as such does not attract it, for him is more valuable to understand the people meaningful for him. When I told my friend that he heard how he was responding about as a "smart, but hopeless hermit," he was convicted and asked: "Why did they take that I am smart?" Hermit - this is quite normal, but smart - they are mistaken by a man.

How do people become schizoids?
Earlier, I already wrote about the possible etiology of schizoid dynamics (McWilliams, 1994), and in this work would like to dwell on phenomenology, having previously done some comments on the complexity of the reasons for the formation of a schizoid personality. It is always impressive by the constitutional sensitivity of schizoid, which is noticeable from the very birth and, possibly due to genetically. I believe that one of the manifestations of this heritage is higher and painful sensitivity compared to most of other people, and its negative and positive consequences (see Eigen, 2004). It manifests itself from birth and amplifies, over time, turning into avoidance of everything that is felt as too unbearable, graceful or invading.

Many schizoids describe their mothers as cold and invading. Parents can assume that this child demonstrates coldness. Some schizoid personalities say that their mother was told that in infancy they refused to breast or pulled themselves when they were kept on their hands or hugged them. My friend admitted that he compares breastfeeding with "colonization", (invasion and capture of the innocent people to a stronger country). With this way, fears of poisoning, spoiled milk and harmful food are associated with the schizoids. One of my schizoid friends somehow asked me at dinner: "Why do everyone likes the straws so much? Why drink from them? " I replied: "Probably because you need to suck." "Fuuuuuuuuuu," he said, frowned. Relatives and friends often describe schizoid people as hypersensitive and thin-skinned. Daige (2001) notes their "hyperprotability", a sense of lack of skin, an adequate protective barrier, and indicates the predominance of fantasy images of damaged skin. Somehow I gave read the first sketch of this article with my colleague schizoid, he explained that "the feeling of touch is very important: we are afraid of it as much as we wish." In early 1949, Bergman and Escalon noted that some children from infancy demonstrate increased sensitivity to light, sounds, touch, smells, movement and tone of voice. Many schizoids say that their favorite fairy tale in his childhood was the story about the princess on the pea. Their overcrowding feelings and sensations in response to the invasion of other people is often expressed in the form of a fear of absorption, fear of spiders, snakes, etc. Udgar Alana, for example, was the fear of being buried alive.

Adaptation to the overwhelming and painful world is complicated by the feeling that relations with other people poisons them or turns them into abnormal. Most of the sizoid patients remember that their parents annoyedly said that they were "too sensitive", "unbearable", "picky" or "make an elephant fly." Their own feeling of the inquiry was constantly confirmed by the attitude of the parents who had a different temperament and differed from their children did not see them above the sensitivity and responded in response to annoyance, angrily and even by mock. Khan (1963) noticed that schizoid children demonstrate signs of "cumulative injury", which is a confirmation of the fact of repeatedly rejected by their parents. Obviously, the care becomes their preferred way of adaptation: the outside world causes not only strong sensations, but also devalues \u200b\u200bthem, demanding completely different behavior, which becomes painful for them, and after they are considered crazy for the reactions that they can't control.

Based on the analysis of the film "English Patient" and works of Fairbert Daizh (2001) described the childhood of a schizoid person:

Children ... Create an inner image of a tormenting and rejecting parent ... to which they experience attachment. Such parents are not able to love their child and are busy with their affairs. He is praised when he does not require anything, depreciate and ridicule for the desire of dependence and affection. So the child has an idea of \u200b\u200b"good" behavior. He learns never to cry and do not ask for love and attention, because in this case the parent becomes even more detached and criticizing. The child copes with the harassment of the loneliness, the feeling of emptiness and unnecessaryness by care of the fantasy about self-sufficiency (often unconsciously). Fairburn said that the tragedy of a schizoid child is that he believes that this is love, and not hate, concluded inside them. Love absorbs. And the child learns to suppress the absolutely normal desire to be loved (p. 285-286)

Describing the central problem of such a child, Seinfeld (1993, p. 3) writes that the schizoid personality "has a voluntary need depending on the object, but the attachment scares its threat of loss." This comprehensively studied internal conflict is central to understand the structure of a schizoid personality.

Some rarely mentioned aspects of the psychology of schizoid people

1. Reaction in the loss and separation
Non-schizoids among which are probably the authors of the ICD and other scientists from the field of descriptive psychiatry often suggest that schizoids solve their conflict of proximity / distance in favor of removal, preferring loneliness, lack of affection and therefore do not react to separation. On the contrary, inside they are experiencing a very strong attachment, which is more emotional and deep than other obviously "dependent" types of personalities. Since schizoids feel safe and create close relationships with a small number of people, then any threat of separation or loss of these relationships can become a disaster for them. If they have three main people in life, then the loss of one of them leads to the disappearance of one third of their support system.

It is possible therefore one of the reasons for the treatment of schizoids into therapy is precisely the theme of loss or parting. Another common problem is loneliness. As Froch Reichman noticed (1959/1990), loneliness is a painful emotional experience that remains unemployed in professional literature. The fact that schizoids are constantly distinguished and seeking privacy is not proof that they have immunity to loneliness, exactly as an avoiding affect of an obsessive personality does not mean indifference to strong emotions, or "clinging" of depressive people is not proof of the lack of desire to Autonomy. As Gantrip noted (1969), schizoids come to therapy with complaints that the loss of significant relationships led to a feeling of lack of forces, meaning and even internal death. Sometimes they come with a specific task: go on a date, become more sociable, improve sexual relationships, to overcome what they consider the "social phobia".

2. Sensitivity to unconscious other people
It is probably due to the fact that they are not protected from their own primitive thoughts, feelings or impulses, schizoids can very accurately perceive the unconscious processes of psyche of other people. What is obvious to them is hidden from the eyes of others. I often thought that I was leading myself as usual, I did not issue my emotions, and only schizoids (friends or patients) surprised me questions about my "obvious" concern or changes in my inner state. In the book on psychodiagnostics, I described the story of a schizoid patient, which experienced deep attachment only to animals, but she was the only one who noticed something worried about me. At that moment I had a breast cancer, and I tried to keep this fact secretly, while treating treatment options. Another schizoid patient somehow came to the evening session at the end of the week. I was anticipating the weekend with anticipation, since it was supposed to meet with an old friend. She looked at me (sitting down in a chair, I thought I would look like as usual) and said: "Mmm, someone today in a very good mood!" Schizoids often discover that in social communication situations they constantly perceive much more non-verbal information than the others. Painful stories of rejection with parents and awkwardness in communication with others lead to the fact that schizoids learn that the obvious to them remains invisible to others. And since they see all the underwater flows of the situation and the behavior of others, then they do not quite know what is socially acceptable to speak, and what is not. Thus, the care mechanism becomes not automatic protection, but a conscious avoidance strategy, instead of manifesting courage.

Such situations are always painfully experienced by schizoids. If there is an elephant in the room, and others do not see it, how don't you open your eyes? Since schizoids have a lack of conventional repressive protective mechanisms, then it is very difficult for them to understand why others use them. As a result, they wonder: "How can I continue the conversation if they do not see the obvious?" Sometimes such experience leads to a paranoid version of the solution of the dilemma: "Probably everyone see an elephant, but decided not to talk about him. Maybe the elephant is dangerous, and I do not see this? Or they really do not see an elephant, then they are completely naive idiots, and they are dangerous to deal with them. " Kerry Gordon (unpublished work) writes that schizoid people live in the world of opportunities, and not probability. As with other behavioral models, which are repeated and then begin prophetically to self-implement, schizoid care enhances the tendency to accommodate primitive processes, which leads to even greater removal due to the negative consequences of their stay in the secluded world and awareness of the primitiveness of mental processes.

3. Unity with the world
Often, schizoids celebrate fantasies about omnipotence. For example, Daizh (2001, p. 288) mentions a very collaborating patient who "admitted (only in therapy) that he always had a fantasy that he could control everything I was talking." However, the schizoid sense of omnipotence differs significantly from the fantasies of daffodils, psychopaths, paranoids or obsessive. They are not a contribution to the creation of a grandiose or method of maintaining a protective need to control others. Schizoids feel a strong and deep connection with all that they surround them. They may assume that their thoughts affect their surroundings, and vice versa. It is more similar to the innate synthon perception of the world than to protect for the embodiment of some desire (Khan, about "symbiotic omnipotence"). Gordon (unpublished work) described this experience as "omnipresence", referring to the concept of symmetric logic Matte-Blanco (1975).

In this phenomena, I am most striking the absence of ontological differences or research I. I think, instead of omnipotence, it would be necessary to talk about maintaining a feeling of primitive merger, "harmonious, mutual penetration" as a balint (1968) described it. Many schizoids do not cease to repeat that the connection has become disharmonious and toxic. Dyuge (2001) speaks of the statement of Samuel Beckett (whose works are consonant with the topics of schizoids) that he never was born. One therapist who was among the listeners of a lecture on schizoids, said that they were not enough, living in the world in which their own body is also unreal as the rest of the environment.

A sense of interconnection with all the world around the world can manifest themselves in relation to animated and inanimate subjects. Einstein walked over to understanding the device of the universe, becoming particles and looking at her with their eyes. Such a tendency to establish communication with inanimate objects is usually considered a consequence of care from interaction with people, but can reflect the persistent animistic view of the device of the world with whom we meet most often in dreams or children's memories. Somehow my friend and I spit buns with raisins, and she said: "I must have everything well. Iisen does not bother me anymore. " I asked what happened, do not like the taste? She smiled: "You did not understand? What if it's cockroaches! " This famous joke, which I retold my colleague, caused her a memoir about her schizoid her husband, who did not eat raisins, because "he hid in the bunch."

4. Mutual love of hysterical and schizoids
Earlier, I have already said that schizoids attract me. When I thought about it, I remembered that women's tantrums often fall in love with schizoid men. In addition, I like their honesty, there are other reasons for their attractiveness. The clinical data will be filled with the history of the creation of hysteric-schizoid couples, their eternal disagreements, the problems of persecution and preservation of the distance, the inability to see that each of them sees themselves to frightened and in need, and the other - powerful and demanding. Despite the recognition of the availability of communication between these types of personality, there is a small amount of literature describing the intersubjective consequences of differences and features in the psychology of these people. Vilis's story (1966/2000) "A man without illusions and a dreamy girl" and a classic philobate description and Balint Okphila (1945) most accurately describe the hysteric-schizoid pairs than all newly published clinical work.

Their admiration for each other almost always mutual. Hysteric idealizes schizoid for his ability to hold on the mansion, to be unique, openly talk to the truth to higher people, to restrain the feelings, to create in their imagination; A schizoid admires her warm, softness, empathy, the ability to easily express feelings without shame, creatively approaching relationships in a pair. They attract them to each other, like all opposites in the world, and then they drive each other's crazy when their needs in proximity and privacy come into conflict. Daige (2001, p. 286) called love relationships with schizoid court proceedings.

It seems to me that the attraction of these types of personalities to each other has deeper roots. Both types are described as hypersensitive, afraid of excessive stimulation. Schizoids feel a threat outside, and hysterics are afraid of what inside: drives, impulses, affects, and so on. Both in history there is a cumulative injury or tense relationship. Both those and others more often have the robust thinking. Both schizoid men, and hysterical women (at least heterosexual partners, my clinical experience is not so extensive to draw conclusions about other couples) It is suggested that the parent of the family was the parent of the opposite sex, and it was he who psychologically invaded the child's space. Both suffered from the "feeling of hunger", which schizoids are trying to tame, and hysterical - sexuality. If I am the right about these similarities, then their attractiveness is based on the opposites, but just on similarities. Arthur Robbins (in personal communication) said that in fact, hysteric sits inside each schizoid, and vice versa. I hope that someday I dedicate this topic a separate article.

Therapeutic recommendations
Psychotherapy and psychoanalysis attract people with schizoid dynamics, at least relatively healthy, more energetic and strong representatives of this group. Usually they cannot imagine how to agree to the invasion, which reduces the individuality and study of the inner world to some kind of therapy. If they can afford therapy, then highly functioning schizoids are magnificent candidates for the passage of psychoanalysis. They like that the therapist practically does not interfere with their mental process, the couch becomes an unbreakable security island, they very much appreciate the freedom, which is given the lack of visual contact with the therapist. Even with meetings to face once a week, schizoid patients are grateful to analysts for careful attitude, non-invasion and relative closeness. Since therapists know and understand primitive processes not only in theory, but also from personal analysis, then schizoids are not afraid of condemnation, criticism or neglect of the analyst in response to the description of their inner world.

Despite the fact that highly functioning schizoids take and appreciate traditional psychoanalysis, then what they undergo in therapy, it is not possible to be called the translation of the unconscious into conscious. Although they have unconscious aspects, still successful therapy is more related to the study of what causes them a care response, namely, the experience of a transformational detailed study of its I in the presence of a receiving, non-invading, responsive other (Gordon, unpublished work). In my experience, "Hunger" schizoid is hunger, according to the recognition of their subjective nature, as Benjamine described (2000). They are desperately looking for this recognition, fight for him and once at once initiate the process that was once interrupted, thereby causing a deep injury. It is behind that they come to us.

Vinnikott, whose biographers talk about him as a deeply siza man, presented to us the development of a child in the concepts that apply to the description of the process of schizoid patient therapy, in particular, his concept is a fairly good mother, which allows the child to "continue to be" and "to be one In the presence of the mother. " A recipe for therapists is an idea of \u200b\u200ba supporting environment of non-invading others who value the present and living I, and not his attempts to adapt to the requirements of others. Since the atmosphere of the Cabinet provides such an environment, the usual techniques are quite suitable for highly functioning schizoid patients. They feel comfortable if they have the opportunity and space to work with their feelings and thoughts in comfortable for themselves, provided that it is attacked by narcissistic analytics interpretations.

However, relative to therapy of schizoids in clinical literature, it is referred to on special requirements that go beyond standard techniques. First, the need to speak frankly about the very deep can be unbearable painful for them, and the receipt of an emotional response to their words can lead to feelings overflow, and therefore the therapeutic interaction can be interconverated by the periods of calm awareness of the patient of feelings. Somehow I had a patient, which every session fought with him in an attempt to say at least something, in the end, she called me and through tears said: "I want you to know that I really want to talk to you But it is so painful. " We have achieved therapeutic progress, applying not quite a traditional way: I read the excerpts from those available for understanding and not derogatory with respect to schizoids, in which there were descriptions of their psychology, and then asked whether the descriptions are suitable for what she felt. I hoped that this would help her cope with painful attempts to formulate and describe the feelings that she considered incomprehensible to others and considered as the symptoms of serious madness leading to loneliness. She said that he first learned about the fact that there are people like her.

Schizoid cannot directly describe his mental suffering from isolation, and does it through images from films, stories or poems. A empathic therapist working with such clients often begins or responds to a client's conversation about music, painting, theater, literary metaphors, anthropological discoveries, historical events, religious beliefs or spiritual exercises. Unlike obsessive patients who avoid emotions using rationalization, schizoids can express affect as soon as they find a suitable way. Art Therapy has long become the most popular type of therapy in schizoids due to its transient function for their feelings and states.

Secondly, attentive clinicians have long noticed that sizoids have a kind of radar to recognize insincere behavior, games and lies. For this reason, the analyst needs to be more "real" in the therapeutic process. Unlike customers who are happy to use the information received about the therapist to present subsequent requirements or feeding the processes of idealization and depreciation, schizoid patients take such cases of self-prompting analytics with great gratitude and belong to even greater respect for their personal life and space. One of the patients wrote: "People with a schizoid type of personality feel more comfortable with those who are in harmony with them, are not afraid to show their weaknesses and seem conventional mortals. I am talking about a relaxed and informal atmosphere, in which the interlocutors know that people tend to make mistakes, lose control over themselves, behave like a child or crazy. In such an atmosphere, a person who is very sensitive in nature may become more open and not to spend energy to try to be someone else and hide his differences from others. " (Mithmodette (pseudonym), 2002, p. 190)

Once she came and began to talk about how he had just begun in Pizzerias nearby ... We began to discuss pizzerias in the area of \u200b\u200bWest Side, agreeing that the cafe had a sala is the best institution. Then we switched to Pizzerias in Manhattan. We exchanged information and, it seemed, both enjoyed the conversation. This situation is a serious deviation from the traditional analytical session. At a deeper level (unconscious), each of us began to learn something very important about the friend. Each of us knew where you can have a snack on the run, what is it like to try to drown out feeling hunger than at least for a while. This is a feeling of hunger, it was supposed to be hidden from others so that they would not recognize about his all-consuming strength. Talking about Pizza became a kind of bridge to create a union, our similar sensations gave the beginning of the stage on which the patient was able to verbalize his past and the future. Our dialogues about Pizza became for her by paradise, in which someone was able to understand it.

I would also like to say a few words about the danger of replacing real relationships therapeutic in schizoid therapy., Since they receive a comfortable space for self-expression. Many therapists who worked with schizoid personalities for several months or years, felt great pleasure from working with them, and then suddenly recalled that initially the patient came with a request for the creation of deep relations in the outside world, and there are still no signs of their appearance . Since the line between supportive presence and light pushing can be very thin, then you should have a skillful ability to encourage the patient to change, so that it does not regard him as impatibility or criticism, as it was in his early childhood. If the therapist is still "coincided" with early client figures, then he should be patient to contain the patient's pain and rage from repeating the experience of toxic interaction.

Final recommendations
While writing this article, I felt in the role of the community ambassador, which prefers personally not to be involved in social activities. It is always interesting to observe what psychoanalytic work becomes the property of the professional community, and which remains in the shadows. On the one hand, the work of Harry Gantripa made the same contribution to the understanding of the structure of a schizoid personality, as the work of Freud on the Edipal complex or the works of the coogut in the understanding of narcissism; Namely, told the general public about this type of people, removing the storm and negativism with them. And yet, even the most experienced psychoanalysts are not familiar or indifferent to analytical reflections on the features of a schizoid personality. I believe that for quite obvious reasons, no author, deeply understanding schizoids, does not have the desire to start a kind of popularization of their views, since this is directly contrary to the very uniqueness of each schizoid.

Since analysts have an interest in the schizoid person, I assumed that somewhere someone in parallel with me writes about them. Once, George Awood said that disputes about the "existence" of a multiple personality (dissociative personality disorder) surprisingly coincide with the internal dialogue of the injured person with dissociative psychology: "I really remember it or invent? Was it really or is it my imagination? " As if all the huge community of mental health, being in the opposite position towards a dissociative personality, begins to experience an extensive unconscious counterperm, reflecting those processes that occur in the patient, whom they decided to describe. Similarly, it would be possible to assume that our attempt to push schizoids on the border of the attention of the professional community reflects the internal processes of schizoid personalities in an attempt to engage in cooperation with us and other people.

I believe that the psychoanalytic community simultaneously understands and does not understand schizoid people. We managed to look into their intimate inner world through the prism of literary works, but, as in the therapeutic process, we celebrate the insights that arise without their awareness and adoption. Many discoveries of the most bold researchers of this area were often attributed to pathological manifestations. Some patients addressed to us for help really have pathological options for schizoid dynamics. Others, including those who have not asked for help, belong to highly functioning and demonstrate adaptive behavior. In this paper, I tried to consider the features of a schizoid personality, which are neither bad nor good or more or less mature, nor an obstacle or success in the development of personality. They are, which are, and it should be simply evaluated and recognized.

Schizophrenia is a serious mental disorder, which, most often, accompanies the patient throughout life. One of the symptoms of the disease is social dysfunction, this is complicated by the fate of a person living next to the patient. Simply put, for close schizophrenic, the problem is not only the struggle with productive symptoms, such as hallucinations and nonsense, but also the process of establishing communication with the patient, pursuing the goal to help. In this article we will try to give the most understandable answers to the question of how to live with schizophrenic.

A person with a diagnosis of schizophrenia has a number of features that distinguish his reality from the one that other people are watching. Nevertheless, this does not mean that he does not need such universal things as love, support, understanding. The main task of relatives and close patients is to help him adapt to the world as best as possible in the world, and to ensure care and attention.

The chief council of people who live in a family with Schizophrenic - take care of patience.

Communication with the patient can be extremely complex. In no case, do not enter into a discussion on the subject of any intrusive idea of \u200b\u200bschizophrenic: if he believes that a sealing neighbor deceived him, it does not need to bring irrefutable evidence of the opposite, it will absolutely not help. No irony, it is also unavailable to people sick schizophrenia. Here are some tips, how to communicate with patients in periods between crises to do not provoke them:

• speak clear, calm, quiet voice;
• Never argue;
• do not ignore communication with the patient;
• do not show condescension, appeal as a child and patronage intonations;
• agree with most approvals, do not forget that self-criticism in the patient is completely absent.

Further we will talk about the situation when the patient happened. First of all, understand that not every schizophrenic is dangerous for you and itself during the period of exacerbation. But this is quite possible, because the curved reality, which he sees the patient, accompanied by auditory and visual hallucinations, is able to push it into irreparable actions. Therefore, if you caught the moment when your familiar schizophrenic starts the attack, think about your safety, but the most imperceptibly for him.

Outwardly, you should not show that you have been disturbed by what is happening now, but consider the retreat plan, in case the patient's aggressiveness is manifest. In no case doubt the entire nonsense, which can ship schizophrenic, do not devalue the feelings and emotions tested by schizophrenic. If he is scary - do not convince that there is no danger in reality, show empathy and willingness to help and protect.

Avoid physical contact, lack hands and do not try to hug if the patient himself does not ask for it. At the same time, do not immerse and do not try to "pick" schizophrenic, do not find out what exactly he sees or whose voices hears. And even more so, do not "play", it can only provoke aggression. Your task is to distract. Take the topic, try to offer any activity, shift the focus. Show understanding and compassion, if unreasonable anger suddenly collapses you.

Schizophrenics often love to blame others in all their problems. On the one hand, it is insanely cruel to relatives to relatives and loved ones, which sincerely love the patient and dedicate themselves to care about him, but on the other hand, schizophrenic, because of the disease, is simply not able to accept that no one is guilty in his torment. That is why, as it, on the one hand, only blood relatives are engaged in concern about the sick person. Husbands and wives most often morally withstand this test, or just fear for themselves and children are bred.

How to live with her schizophrenic husband

How it would not seem strange, but not a rare situation when a mentally healthy woman consciously connects his life with schizophrenia sick. According to statistics, about 1% of the population of the Earth suffer from this disorder. Of course, the distribution is not uniform, nor by country or by cities, but it is quite possible to meet schizophrenic.

Some simple and fall in love with such a person. This is explained by many factors. Firstly, the patient has a high intelligence and non-standard thinking, secondly, in itself insanity, while you do not face him in practice, it is very attracted, thirdly, (and this is the question of a healthy partner) some just adore Unconsciously create difficulties in your life, and then overcome them with suffering or pride.

There are other situations when a man with disorder hides from his partner to the problem until the exacerbation, and it can happen and after the conclusion of marriage, and after the birth of children. Anyway, at some point it may be a question how to live with a schizophrenic husband? Of course, there can be no unequivocal response, schizophrenia itself implies a wide range of forms and species. In some situations, regular hospitalization is needed, and only then periods of remission will be long and allow person to function normally at this time.

Sometimes a patient for relatively normal life is sufficiently systematic reception of antipsychotics and passage of psychotherapy sessions. An important thing is the moment of having a patient, hobbies, work. The smaller the person feels inferiority - the better.

How to communicate with sick? Maximum show understanding, empathy, even if it seems impossible. People with schizophrenia in periods of remission can fully adequately exist, some even go into lifelong remission (this can be called recovery to some extent).

What if the Son is schizophrenic?

This is the most painful topic. Faced with the problem of parents, unfortunately, are in an extremely sad position. As far as Mom and Dad are not caring and loving, as far as they did not help their son, fight a birth, they will constantly defeat the thought - what happens when they won't be? I do not want to scare even more, but nothing to encourage. The best life for the patient is possible only in the case of regular observation of a psychiatrist, a clinical psychologist and psychotherapist.

Only systematic reception of specially prescribed neuroleptics is able to alleviate the symptoms and allow the human psyche normally.

But the main problem is that the small percentage of schizophrenics is ready to voluntarily take drugs and undergo therapy. The main problem is that the manic ideas of the conspiracy of all against him, the listener, abduction of thoughts from the head, do not allow the majority of patients to go according to the correct path to cure.

In addition, it is impossible to forget about the side effects of drug intake: headaches, insomnia or vice versa, drowsiness, inhibition of thoughts and movements. Of course, it's all unpleasant, but definitely better than terrible hallucinations, visions and voices that can provoke the murder of others or suicide. But the disease does not allow correct priorities to correctly. The main parental problems with the son of schizophrenic are associated with providing a guardian (for that period when they themselves cannot help him) which will motivate undergo the therapy, take drugs or go to the hospital if it is necessary.

And otherwise, to live with a schizophrenic in the same apartment is not a sentence, but a serious test, regardless of who is a sick - husband, wife, child. That's why, psychologists advise people to care for the patient, be sure to pass personal psychotherapy.

Does the person understand that he is sickly schizophrenia?

The answer to this question naturally will be varied. Different degree of illness, different people and different periods of life - all this does not allow to answer uniquely or lead statistics. Usually patients who are observed by the doctor and regularly take antipsychotics, during periods of remissions can clearly realize that they have a problem, and what exactly helps them solve it. Unfortunately, many refuse to treat, which aggravates their position and only contributes to the progression of the disease. How to help schizophrenic in such a situation?

In spite of everything to continue to give his spiritual warmth, try to understand, more communicate, gently persuade to proceed with treatment. In any other case, do not expect an understanding of the situation from it. In his reality, he is completely normal, and you and your entire insensible outside world are crazy. And argue meaningless.

How many people live with schizophrenia?

The question how many patients live with such a diagnosis is also ambiguous. On average, schizophrenics live 10-20 years less than mentally healthy people. But what exactly is this justified? First of all, the high risk of suicide, secondly, the lifestyle - patients are inclined to vagrancy and life in antisanitarian, thirdly, tobacco smoking and cocaine use. As for the last item, one hypothesis easily explains the special adequity of patients to smoking.

In the experimental study, they found that schizophrenia is associated with disorders in the development of neurotransmitters, in particular, dopamine, and nicotine and cocaine helps to increase its level. Therefore, it is sometimes better to accept that your husband schizophrenic smokes, as a locomotive - it pulls out, thus, the level of dopamine is up to the norm, intuitively treats himself. Well, any smoker will agree that this process reduces the level of anxiety, helps calm down - the patient is also experiencing the same.

Naturally, all these factors negatively affect the lifespan of schizophrenic. In addition, one of the important reasons for the reduction of life expectancy is that manic suspicion often does not allow us to normally treat any disease that has occurred in the patient, not even related to the functioning of the psyche.

And yet, how do schizophrenics live? Based on the whole thing - no, the life expectancy of a person sick schizophrenia is significantly lower.

How to put schizophrenic in the hospital?

Forced hospitalization and subsequent treatment can be appointed by the court only if the behavior of schizophrenic is threatening the life and health of others or himself. Such a conclusion in the court can provide the Commission of Psychiatrists. In reality, this is happening in cases where people who have grown the moment of acute psychosis cause the police. In practice, in order for a person, indeed, it takes extremely many reasons and an indisputable threat to life.

It is much better to persuade the patient to go to inpatient treatment voluntarily. To do this, relatives need to know everything about this disease, know how to communicate to make the patient's fate as much as possible, and how to behave at the moments of the attack. Family psychotherapy during remission helps very help. A person with schizophrenia needs to inspire the idea that his diagnosis is not a stamp, but simply the same problem as in diabetics or hypertensive, which, without daily reception, simply cannot do.

By completing the article, I would like to pay attention to the Council of Psychologists to the people who live and care about schizophrenic, it is mandatory to pass personal psychotherapy. This will help you alone always stay balanced and calm, which will have a favorable and on the treatment of your loved one.

On the social adaptation of schizophrenics and the importance of psychotherapy in the treatment of illness tell in this video

1 - attachment to schizoid

At some point you are surprised and alarmed by the old partner's behavior. He is cold, he does not need you, it seems that you have only sexual relationships. You do not feel any need for you, nor love and deeply disappointed the lack of attention from it. It does not have friends, not socialized, and does not go anywhere on weekends. As a result, you do not participate in public life and feel yourself isolated. People suppress it and even you suppress it. You have conducted a further investigation and found that it has schizoid features or it was diagnosed as schizoid.

2 - Rip

You feel that he is not able to fulfill his partnerships and you decide to break the relationship.

3 - Decision to stay

If you decide to stay with him these tips can help you:

Schizoid can feel noncomfort or anxiety in the company of women. If he feels exactly the same with you, you will be unable to create a stable, stable relationship.

He needs alone. You must respect it.

He can spend time with you, he can support you, he can talk to you, but he will not show you affection.

Efforts to maintain relationships will always be unequal. He will do little, while you put your soul.

Remember that he can not be affectionate and share his personal thoughts with you.

The basis of his personality is schizoid, it will never change.

At some point he will compromise. If not, the relationship will not be the future.

Schizoid balances his lonely life very few social connections. Social life will be limited.

Live together will be difficult. Sometimes he will insist on solitude. In these times, you can feel lonely and disappointed. So you better have your own life (career, friends, hobbies, projects, etc.)

The only solution for your future is to take it as it is which it is and adapting your expectations in meetings with its restrictions.

Before coming to your life, decide whether an acceptable lack of social life, love, attention and attachment, which he shows to you.

Do not attempt to change it. This is a vain attempt, since schizoid features are an integral part of his personality.

At the same time, you can offer him to go to a psychologist. He may agree or refuse. But you should not insist (it is unlikely that a psychologist will help him, psychotherapy has low efficiency in the help of schizoids - translator)

4 - Women who love too much

Robin Norwood in his book "Women who love too much" described the type of women who are involved in unsuitable relationships. These are women from disadvantaged homes. She was bored by men who respect her and take care of her, so she attracted men with problems. These women establish unhappy relations that are mainly completed by failure. They find people with an unstable psyche exciting, their unpredictable behavior is romantic, their immaturity - charming, their boring is mysterious ... In addition, a cold man may be in an uncommon and emotional.

Warning for women in this relationship: Do not try to save this person, better create a healthy relationship with someone who is able to be grateful and loving. Do not confuse love with emotional pain - as some did in childhood when relations with one of the parents were a source of emotional pain.