Why are modern people so evil and cruel. Why did people become cruel and callous

I AM
hate school! I wake up every day and try to find some
an excuse not to go there. I spend most of the year on sick leave
I constantly get colds, it seems to me, because I hate so much
school.

And it's all about my classmates. It all started two years
back when I transferred to a specialized English school. If
If only my mother knew! .. And then it began: on the first of September I came
on the ruler, and the very first boy from my class who saw me,
shouted: "Look, the bespectacled elephant is coming!" I even
I didn't immediately understand that he was talking about me. I used to have special problems
was not, I knew, of course, that a photo model from me will not work, but
never really worried about her weight. And then right away
felt so ugly! I almost cried, but controlled myself.

The girls in the class did not accept me either, she started talking to me
only one girl Katya. And the boys already in the first lesson began
throw paper balls at me and call me names in every possible way. Well
did I do that to them? Then the teacher called me to the blackboard and called
my last name, but I have it not very sonorous, to put it mildly: Kolbasnikova.
What started here, everyone was just dying of laughter! And follow me right away
the nickname of the Fat Sausage stuck.

I tried to talk to the class teacher.
But she said I was already a big girl to complain about. My
Mom thinks so too, and the main thing for her is that she arranged for me
to a prestigious school and that I will get a good education. How can I
to get it when I sit in class and am afraid that they will call me to the blackboard,
and everyone will start shouting: "Fat Sausage to the board!" Study
I have become much worse than in the previous school, I just don't care,
what grade i get. I mark every day on the calendar, I wait
when Saturday comes and you don't have to go to school and hear again
all these cruel words.

And recently, I found myself gaining even more weight.
Probably due to the fact that I come home angry and tired - I open
refrigerator and eat, for example, three whole cutlets. Or a chocolate bar.
And I can no longer stop, I eat everything that I find. Mom has already become
hide food from me! And at school they started teasing me even more,
and even the teachers don't stand up for me.

I do not know what to do. Until the end of the school there is still
two whole years, how can I survive them? I have no one to even talk to
heart to heart, with friends from the old school we do not see each other, mom does not want
nothing to hear about my problems in class. If I still end
school, then I will definitely become a psychologist. And I will help the same
girls who are bullied and called names. But while I'm waiting with horror for Monday,
because I know that I will have to go to school again ...

Ksenia".

Psychologist Olga Ilyina comments on the situation:

How much, Oksana, I need to tell you. And all the first
queue. Therefore, reading in order, know: EVERYTHING IS IMPORTANT.

MUST show this article to your mom to find out that
it is really important for her: the prestige of the school and the fact that her daughter is there
studying, or your psychological comfort and NORMAL SELF-ASSESSMENT.

I hope that you are important to mom after all. Simply, apparently
she did not have time to STOP and REALIZE that you really
poorly. That even the best school can't be good for you
if for two years not only the students, but also the teachers DO NOT SEE
OR SHOOT away from your problem. (By the way, information for your
mothers: if there is a person in the class who is destined for the role of a goat
scapegoat, it speaks of great pedagogical (!) trouble.)

In this case, it is best to transfer you to another (better
old, if there were friends) school. And you can learn everywhere, it was
would desire.

I didn't just call you by another name, try
and you call yourself differently. After all, Xenia means "stranger".
But Oksana is a completely different song. Open any book, especially
Ukrainian: whatever Oksana, then kindness and become. And to become is not
only beauty, but also relief forms.

Hence the following: do gymnastics. You need to develop
flexibility. And also, if possible, go to oriental dances.
or belly dance. In this case, you will not only feel good
your body, but you will also improve the work of the gastrointestinal tract, and it became
be, the metabolism will accelerate, and you will gradually lose weight.

In the meantime, the court and the case, imagine that you are transparent
glass, and all the nasty things that are addressed to Xenia pass by, like
through the glass, without touching you: after all, you are not only transparent, but
and they are not addressing you: you have a different name.

And let mom not forget that the school needs to be changed: it is important
not only get a secondary education, but also feel
capable of more.

And the last thing: work on your body in spite of your enemies,
but for yourself, your beloved. Improve yourself. You have a lot to strive for.

Main reasons

Historical brutality

People used to be kinder. It is worth considering. And before - this is when? Millennia ago, when was cannibalism flourishing? Well, these people can be, by and large, even somehow justified. They were primitive. And they did not know about the humane attitude towards their neighbors. Or maybe those who lived in the era of the Inquisition were kinder? Or during the reign of Stalin? Many people went to jail thanks to denunciations. How many such "good people" sincerely tried to present a "gift" to their neighbor!

Relationship with family

Yes, because relatives will not go anywhere. Communicating with strangers, a person restrains himself. There are many reasons: both the desire to endear the interlocutor to himself, and the fear of losing an interesting friend. In the case of a boss, incontinence can threaten to be fired. But when you get into the circle of relatives, especially in a bad mood, even one word can make a person mad. Then a scandal flares up from a completely empty place. Of course, this is fundamentally wrong, but the accumulated negative needs to be released. That is why it pours out on the closest ones. They, even if they strongly insult them and quarrel with them, love them so much that they will forgive them anyway.

Root of evil

Instability in society

An indirect cause of violence is growing anxiety. Social inequality and instability give rise to a feeling of discomfort. Again, people see cruelty on TV screens. A person, whose psyche is formed, is able to distinguish grain from husk, he will not accept aggression as a call to action. The child will absorb, like a sponge, the scenes of violence on the screen. And he can perceive all this as a kind of school of life. It is important to realize how much such television hurts the child's psyche, and the answer to the question: "Why did people become cruel?" will be received instantly.

Feelings of rejection

How to defend the victim

  • self-doubt;

It is very important to consider the reaction to the abuser. He will perceive you very differently if the answer is different from his expectations. In some cases, a sense of humor helps. Try not to give in to irritation and channel a difficult conflict into a joke. In doing so, learn to be less sensitive to unpleasant situations.

Conclusion

People have become cruel, too cruel. It is especially scary to watch today's news: someone was beaten with bats, someone was tortured, someone was shot, a bomb was dropped on someone ... We are literally shaking with cruelty, can it really be even worse? What is happening to our world? Why do people become angry and violent? And how, in the end, can we stop this orgy of pain, horror and despair?

Why are some people kind and some cruel?
Why did modern people become especially cruel?
Why do kind people become cruel? Under what circumstances does this happen?
How to stop the cruelty in the world? How to change the world for the better?

When the world around begins to seem wrong, and people are too cruel - this signal... Not that you need to pout, lock yourself in an apartment, be afraid of everyone around you, be offended or angry. No! This is a signal for action. This is a signal that it is worth changing the world so that it becomes better, kinder, more welcoming. But it should be remembered that the world does not change when we yell at each other or hand out leaflets with the call "Thou shalt not kill!" at the nearest intersection. All this will give absolutely nothing. You can change the world only by making changes to it, that is, you will have to start with yourself. And it will be difficult, but after all, the desire is not small: turn the world upside down and make people stop being cruel. This road can be mastered only by walking.

Why do we see the world as we see it?

The most common complaint that can be heard from fighters for kindness and peace around the world is that people simply do not see all the threats they themselves create. People are cruel, angry and do not even think about changing. And we, kind and good, no matter how we knock on them, we cannot get through. Obviously, if everyone saw the world in all the glory of its cruelty, it would be transformed into one solid kindness. And you think so too, right? Then keep in mind that you really are exactly what it seems.

To get an answer to the question why people are so cruel, you need to try to see the world through someone else's eyes, try to understand what drives people.

To see the world as it is, you need to rely on something. In the case of the study of the inanimate world, it is best to apply knowledge of physics - in this way, we learn the forces and laws that we obey. In the case of the study of the plant world, you will have to turn to botany, and in the case of animals - to biology. Of course, when studying a person, one can turn to anatomy and physiology, but this will only be the study of the human body. And in order to understand its essence, one will have to turn to the study of his psyche - system-vector psychology. This latest science for the first time accurately defines human psychotypes through their desires and properties.

It is through systemic vector psychology that you can see people as they are. Moreover, one can understand why we ourselves see the world as we see it, that is, with a slight distortion in our direction. For example, only the owners of the visual vector feel that the world is full of cruel people, and they all deliberately do cruel acts. It is the spectators who divide the world into good and evil, defining all their best characteristics as good, and everything that seems unpleasant to them as evil. So, a visual person cannot kill, injure any living creature, therefore everyone who kicks a dog or kills a chicken is defined by him as a cruel and evil person. At the same time, the spectator himself is very emotional and all people who also have this quality are perceived by him as kind, good people.

Other people see the world differently. For example, people with a skin vector divide people according to economic principle and social superiority, in relation to time and quantity. Through their crack, they also see only a piece of the world and, as a result, do not suffer at all from the fact that people have become cruel, but they are very worried that they have less income than others, that they cannot afford to buy a house, a car and a yacht. This is how they assess the world, this is how they say it. Never a man of skin will say, "What kind of people are cruel."

And so in each vector, in each person - his own piece of the world, his own crack into which he peeps.

It is for this reason that we make mistakes. Not every emotional person is good and kind. Not every rich person is a thief. Etc.

Why do people get violent?

But even while learning to see vectors and human life values, we unfortunately discovered that the world does not shine with positiveness. There is a lot of violence in the world, people have really become violent. Information about war and horror made its way into the daily news and became familiar.

Through system-vector psychology, we have the opportunity to see the true reasons for this behavior of people.

When we go beyond ourselves, many things become obvious. People have become so cruel, not because they are evil or want evil, but because they are suffering. They do not receive happiness, they cannot find something that would bring pleasure. Of course, they rush about in search - and pray in churches, and change jobs, and attend trainings for success, and try to get direction in horoscopes and fortune-tellers, but all in vain.

It's like having a bad tooth. It hurts and there is nowhere to go from this pain, even climb the wall. Where to run, what to do? We drink analgin, and the pain goes away, for a while. This is not relief, not joy, but just ... a temporary calm when you know that the pain will definitely return. Moreover, further the same medicine, one pill, will not help - you will have to increase the dose to numb the pain.

So it is here: people suffer and in order to suffer less, they let off steam. Where to? In other people: violence, crime, cruelty. Even just swearing, shouting, it becomes a little easier for us. But this relief is akin to an analgesic - the short-term pain relieving effect will go away very quickly and the suffering will rush in with even greater force. And even the kindest of us also become cruel. Those who yesterday could not even kill a fly are shouting today about the possibility of dropping an atomic bomb on those who prevent them from living.

How to change the world - how to make people stop being cruel?

It is impossible to take away pain relievers from a person with a bad tooth - he will hate you. In the same way, it is impossible for a suffering person to take away the only opportunity to let steam out: to get angry, offended, screaming, worn out, or just quietly hate everyone.

The only thing we can do is it is to become happy yourself and become an example for others. Show that you can live differently - differently, without suffering. In the same way as with a bad tooth - after all, everyone goes to dentists for a reason, but because doctors can really help and the toothache will really go away. So here too - you need to feel happiness in yourself. Of course, in no case is it meant some kind of self-deception or affirmation, prayer or conspiracy, when we wind ourselves up, forcibly smile and affirm "I am the happiest person in the world", but inside there is emptiness, longing and depression.

No, it happens differently. We become happy only when we begin to truly understand ourselves, the reasons for our behavior, and find answers to our inner questions. When, in response to the inner question, "Stop, why am I doing this? Where am I going? Am I living correctly?" there are not some abstractions, but precise, definite answers. All this comes when we begin to understand the world as a whole, to understand the actions of people, the reasons for their behavior.

And it is precisely those painful "points" that worry us that are the landmarks where we need to make an effort. If it seems that there is too little good around, then our suffering, our own visual vector, is feeling and it is necessary to find a way to fill it. If it sounds like no one understands you, then you should ask yourself the question - who do you understand yourself? If it seems that there is a lack of justice, it means that we are already suffocating from the injustice that we ourselves create, among other things. If there are only thieves around, you yourself need to take your will into a fist and stop thinking,

Every day, continuous negativity of various scales penetrates into our life. The media helpfully report who killed, robbed, and shot down whom. Constantly various sources of information bring to our attention information about new cataclysms, political troubles. And the positive, in comparison with the amount of negative news, is negligible. One gets the impression that there is absolutely no good and good left in the world. Unfortunately, this stream “clogged up” the heads so much that today no one even thinks about why people are so cruel? How can this be changed? And is modern humanity really so soulless?

Main reasons

Why are there so many violent people? The answer to this question should be sought in the causes of aggression. It should be noted that the manifestation of cruelty is quite diverse. At the same time, it is not difficult to identify it. A person who hurts another by making him suffer, it does not matter, mentally or physically, fully aware of this and striving to harm, is cruel.

Psychologists identify three reasons why people are violent:

  • Dissatisfaction with life... Individuals who are dissatisfied with their lot are quite often exposed to stress and depression. These emotions overwhelm their souls so much that they are ready to break free at any moment. That is why all the negativity is often spilled out by mothers on children. Some people, under the influence of anger, break tree branches, beat animals. This state of mind is quite dangerous, since it threatens the owner with the emergence of neuroses, mental disorders. In addition to all this, constant negativity seriously shortens life expectancy, leads to the development of heart disease or skin problems.
  • Indifference... Very often it is this that generates unjustified cruelty. Some people don't even bother to understand how much pain their actions and sometimes words can cause. They don’t think about how much they can hurt another. In this case, the object of their cruelty is a weak creature that cannot show emotions and explain what pain they have caused him.
  • Repressed emotions. Sometimes a person shows aggression "on the side". This behavior is typical of those who in everyday life are forced to constantly hide and suppress desires, emotions, impulses. Most often, such cruelty is characteristic of grown-up children (especially boys) who grew up in a family of authoritarian parents. Employees who are forced to unquestioningly follow the orders of their boss, without being able to reveal their will, in some conditions can show extremely cruel ruthlessness.

Historical brutality

The older generation loves to wonder - why did so many violent people appear? Before, everyone was kinder. Listening to their complaints, you involuntarily agree. One has only to open a newspaper or watch the news.

Earlier people are worth pondering. And before - this is when? Millennia ago, when was cannibalism flourishing? Well, these people can be, by and large, even somehow justified. They were primitive. And they did not know about the humane attitude towards their neighbors. Or maybe those who lived in the era of the Inquisition were kinder? Or during the reign of Stalin? Many people went to jail thanks to denunciations. How many such "good people" sincerely tried to present a "gift" to their neighbor!

Why does it feel like there are so many cruel people today? Of course, the media did their bit. In the era of democracy, they pay more attention to the manifestations of brutality. It should be noted that the level of humanity among humanity has increased, which is why aggression is so striking.

Relationship with family

All people tend to be cruel. For some, this happens very rarely. Others show aggression quite often. At the same time, anyone can commit a cruel act, and quite often such outbreaks occur in really kind people. Unfortunately, all the negativity spills out on the nearest and dearest. For those who are really loved and very dear. Why are people so cruel? What makes them “rip off” anger at their relatives, and restrain their outbursts of anger with those around them? Why is it not possible to control your behavior in communicating with loved ones?

Yes, because relatives Communicate with strangers, a person restrains himself. There are many reasons: both the desire to endear the interlocutor to himself, and the fear of losing an interesting friend. In the case of a boss, incontinence can threaten to be fired. But when you get into the circle of relatives, especially in a bad mood, even one word can make a person mad. Then a scandal flares up from a completely empty place. Of course, this is fundamentally wrong, but the accumulated negative needs to be released. That is why it pours out on the closest ones. They, even if they strongly insult them and quarrel with them, love them so much that they will forgive them anyway.

Root of evil

The feeling of anger comes from nature. It is necessary in order to mobilize all forces for the fight at dangerous moments. But how it will be used by a person depends on the moral norms instilled in childhood. If parents show aggression towards a child, this will surely come back to haunt. The fear-based relationship between children and fathers is more likely to be adopted by the teenager in communication with peers. It is in the family that the root of evil should be sought. This upbringing clearly explains why people become violent.

Although in this situation the child may develop a different model of behavior: he decides that he is bad and is to blame for everything. Such a teenager becomes a victim of peer abuse. Often, he does not even look for methods of protection, believing that he deserves this.

Sometimes the cause of aggression may not be violence at all, but overprotection. This method of upbringing puts a feeling of permissiveness in the child's subconscious. The teenager considers himself to be the most important and demands unquestioning obedience. Unfortunately, a person who has not been taught to respect others by their parents will not find this wisdom anywhere else. He will not even notice how he humiliates.

Instability in society

An indirect cause of violence is growing anxiety. instability gives rise to feelings of discomfort. Again, people see cruelty on TV screens. A person, whose psyche is formed, is able to distinguish grain from husk, he will not accept aggression as a call to action. The child will absorb, like a sponge, the scenes of violence on the screen. And he can perceive all this as a kind of school of life. It is important to realize how much such television hurts the child's psyche, and the answer to the question: "Why did people become cruel?" will be received instantly.

Feelings of rejection

It is especially developed during adolescence. However, many adults carry these feelings into adulthood. Quite often, you can observe a picture when a baby exclaims loudly on the street and pokes his finger at a person with a different skin color or having a physical disability.

Adults react very differently. On a subconscious level, they feel a sense of danger. Immediately there is a desire to withdraw. But for some, it manifests itself in cruelty and violence. It is this feeling that sometimes makes adolescents mock their peers who are different from them. Why are people so cruel? Again, the skills of tolerance and respect in the family will not allow a teenager or adult to behave like this.

How to defend the victim

Psychologists say that in a team it is quite easy to determine which people are cruel and who is the "lamb." Therefore, the victim of aggression is advised to identify on the following grounds:

  • self-doubt;
  • full acceptance of the opinion that the trouble is deserved.

You should start with awareness of your "I". Any person has a number of advantages and disadvantages. He is what he is. And no one has the right to offend him. Only by fully accepting this truth, you can move on along the path of raising self-esteem, developing a sense of success. Parents can help the child in this realization. For an adult, since the pattern of behavior is ingrained, it is better to use the help of a professional psychologist.

As a rule, hobby for some new business helps a lot. You can even enroll in a martial arts class.

It is very important to consider the reaction to the abuser. He will perceive you very differently if the answer is different from his expectations. In some cases, it helps. Try not to succumb to irritation and channel a difficult conflict into a joke. In doing so, learn to be less sensitive to unpleasant situations.

How to deal with your own aggression?

The reasons described above give an idea of ​​why kind people become cruel. But how to deal with such manifestations? What to do if you start to boil internally?

Exercise perfectly cleanses negativity. After all, sport teaches conscious control over your emotions and body. Psychologists often recommend mastering breathing exercises. It will allow you to control both the body and the spirit.

Find a safe outlet for the accumulated negativity. Express your emotions with a scream. Only not to relatives and not to a colleague. Shout where you need it. For example, become an avid football fan or attend rock concerts.

By the way, psychologists recommend this technique: get up near the railway in the evening. When the train passes, scream as loud as you can. The noise of the wheels will drown out any sound. Nobody will hear you, but the body will receive the necessary relaxation.

Conclusion

Remember that only you can deal with the feeling of cruelty that arises within you. And this is completely within your power. If you want to find an answer to the question "why are people so cruel," start with yourself. Analyze your behavior. Get rid of the poisonous feeling, because sooner or later it threatens to develop into severe depression.

Throughout our lives, we have met at least once with a person who, in our opinion, was cruel, angry and decisively disgusting to us.

If your past is at least in some way similar to the past of other people, you were most likely teased, gossip was spread about you, you were shouted at, humiliated, cornered, intimidated and unjustly punished - and your reaction, probably, was: “ FOR WHAT?"

Why are people angry with each other? Why do some people even like to be bitchy and venomous? You, like most people, will answer something like "... because they are bad people", "... because they are psychopaths / sociopaths", "... they are evil", "... well, that's how they are, what can you do!"

Yes, such answers are quite normal and widespread, nevertheless, this view of things is very narrow. These answers are naive, and it would be time to better understand why "bad people are bad."

Why do we like to be hurt?

You are talking to someone, you said something frankly offensive, and your interlocutor takes offense at you. He rises menacingly and says: “You know, I learned a thing or two about you. You are a real bastard and you don't give a damn about anyone but yourself. No wonder you have almost no friends. " And then it quickly rinses off.

What's your reaction?

Full of righteous anger, you can jump up and start refuting all attacks by striking back. Well, or you will continue to sit, wondering what you said, while sadness-longing slowly devours you. "How could he do this to me?", "What the hell have I done?" You can continue to stew in your hatred, cursing everything around.

These two reactions are quite common, and I myself have behaved in a similar way in the past. Responding to another person's anger disturbs our peace of mind ... but you know what I'm going to tell you? We like to be outraged. We like to be drunk with anger.

When we feel unjustly wronged, we immediately reward ourselves with the title of “victim,” and not only - we also feel a sense of our own superiority. How often in the past have you been angry with a "disgusting person" with a firm conviction that "I am much better." I think quite often. But don't worry, this is normal. We all do that.

The fact is that anger is like a drug, and not only because it gives us the false feeling that we are supposedly better, more beautiful, more correct, and fairer. In addition to this, it creates the illusion of differentiation between us and the world (in other words, strengthens our ego). Because of this, we cannot see through the veil of misbehavior - because of our unwillingness to get rid of anger.

Once we are fully prepared to let go of our anger and all its charms, we can truly understand why people are so bad. This realization will be of infinite benefit to you.

How to break the mask of feigned cruelty?

When we blame bad and cruel people for all mortal sins, we deprive them of all human qualities. Yes, you will say that there are psychopaths and sociopaths who have no empathy or remorse at all. But these people (who by the way make up a very low percentage of the population) are not robots either. In fact, they too suffer from feelings of loneliness, resentment, disappointment, depression, and this explains a lot. Psychopaths can even show empathy whenever they want.

I am convinced that not all "bad" people that we meet are necessarily psychopaths or sociopaths, in fact, they are deeply wounded. And we do not have time to sort out their feelings, because they are disgusting to us (and because, let's face it, we ourselves were deeply hurt).

We spew excuses like “So what? We are all sufferers, but this is not an excuse at all, ”and thus we strengthen our confidence in our righteousness and continue to torment ourselves.

However, if you want to take responsibility for yourself, your life and your happiness, you need to remember one thing:

All cruel, evil, rude people are just like that, because they are in pain.

If you want to look behind the veil of this ostentatious cruelty, you need to understand “what hurts”. You may have to dig into his past, talk to friends, colleagues to find out why he behaves this way. Well, or just guess.

No matter which approach you take, you’re bound to learn something amazing: Their behavior is driven by pain.

Perhaps it is a matter of family quarrels, problems at work, breakup or divorce, tragedy or something more vague like depression, fear of failure, fear of rejection, low self-esteem, feelings when a person cannot cope with this pain, he directs it on others. And thus the pain is evened out, multiplying.

But it is in your power to interrupt this circle of pain and prevent it from interfering with your thoughts, feelings, life. The most important thing is to learn to see all these mechanisms in your own head and, as a result, to truly understand a person.

The next time someone treats you badly, take your time. Feel all negative emotions and then release them. Ask yourself, "What pain is this person experiencing that makes him do this?" Then open yourself up to forgiveness and understanding, because all the mental patterns that led to this behavior on his part are or were in you. And the only reason you might not have them is either a perfect childhood and growing up or

Every day, continuous negativity of various scales penetrates into our life. The media helpfully report who killed, robbed, and shot down whom. Constantly various sources of information bring to our attention information about new cataclysms, political troubles. And the positive, in comparison with the amount of negative news, is negligible. One gets the impression that there is absolutely no good and good left in the world. Unfortunately, this stream “clogged up” the heads so much that today no one even thinks about why people are so cruel? How can this be changed? And is modern humanity really so soulless?

Main reasons

Why are there so many violent people? The answer to this question should be sought in the causes of aggression. It should be noted that the manifestation of cruelty is quite diverse. At the same time, it is not difficult to identify it. A person who hurts another by making him suffer, it does not matter, mentally or physically, fully aware of this and striving to harm, is cruel.

Historical brutality

The older generation loves to wonder - why did so many violent people appear? Before, everyone was kinder. Listening to their complaints, you involuntarily agree. One has only to open a newspaper or watch the news.

People used to be kinder. It is worth considering. And before - this is when? Millennia ago, when was cannibalism flourishing? Well, these people can be, by and large, even somehow justified. They were primitive. And they did not know about the humane attitude towards their neighbors. Or maybe those who lived in the era of the Inquisition were kinder? Or during the reign of Stalin? Many people went to jail thanks to denunciations. How many such "good people" sincerely tried to present a "gift" to their neighbor!

Why does it feel like there are so many cruel people today? Of course, the media did their bit. In the era of democracy, they pay more attention to the manifestations of brutality. It should be noted that the level of humanity among humanity has increased, which is why aggression is so striking.

Relationship with family

All people tend to be cruel. For some, this happens very rarely. Others show aggression quite often. At the same time, anyone can commit a cruel act, and quite often such outbreaks occur in really kind people. Unfortunately, all the negativity spills out on the nearest and dearest. For those who are really loved and very dear. Why are people so cruel? What makes them “rip off” anger at their relatives, and restrain their outbursts of anger with those around them? Why is it not possible to control your behavior in communicating with loved ones?

Yes, because relatives will not go anywhere. Communicating with strangers, a person restrains himself. There are many reasons: both the desire to endear the interlocutor to himself, and the fear of losing an interesting friend. In the case of a boss, incontinence can threaten to be fired. But when you get into the circle of relatives, especially in a bad mood, even one word can make a person mad. Then a scandal flares up from a completely empty place. Of course, this is fundamentally wrong, but the accumulated negative needs to be released. That is why it pours out on the closest ones. They, even if they strongly insult them and quarrel with them, love them so much that they will forgive them anyway.

Root of evil

The feeling of anger comes from nature. It is necessary in order to mobilize all forces for the fight at dangerous moments. But how it will be used by a person depends on the moral norms instilled in childhood. If parents show aggression towards a child, this will surely come back to haunt. The fear-based relationship between children and fathers is more likely to be adopted by the teenager in communication with peers. It is in the family that the root of evil should be sought. This upbringing clearly explains why people become violent.

Although in this situation the child may develop a different model of behavior: he decides that he is bad and is to blame for everything. Such a teenager becomes a victim of peer abuse. Often, he does not even look for methods of protection, believing that he deserves this.

Sometimes the cause of aggression may not be violence at all, but overprotection. This method of upbringing puts a feeling of permissiveness in the child's subconscious. The teenager considers himself to be the most important and demands unquestioning obedience. Unfortunately, a person who has not been taught to respect others by their parents will not find this wisdom anywhere else. He will not even notice how he humiliates.

Instability in society

An indirect cause of violence is growing anxiety. Social inequality and instability give rise to a feeling of discomfort. Again, people see cruelty on TV screens. A person, whose psyche is formed, is able to distinguish grain from husk, he will not accept aggression as a call to action. The child will absorb, like a sponge, the scenes of violence on the screen. And he can perceive all this as a kind of school of life. It is important to realize how much such television hurts the child's psyche, and the answer to the question: "Why did people become cruel?" will be received instantly.

Feelings of rejection

It is especially developed during adolescence. However, many adults carry these feelings into adulthood. Quite often, you can observe a picture when a baby exclaims loudly on the street and pokes his finger at a person with a different skin color or having a physical disability.

Adults react very differently. On a subconscious level, they feel a sense of danger. Immediately there is a desire to withdraw. But for some, it manifests itself in cruelty and violence. It is this feeling that sometimes makes adolescents mock their peers who are different from them. Why are people so cruel? Again, the skills of tolerance and respect in the family will not allow a teenager or adult to behave like this.

How to defend the victim

Psychologists say that in a team it is quite easy to determine which people are cruel and who is the "lamb." Therefore, the victim of aggression is advised to identify on the following grounds:

  • self-doubt;
  • full acceptance of the opinion that the trouble is deserved.

You should start with awareness of your "I". Any person has a number of advantages and disadvantages. He is what he is. And no one has the right to offend him. Only by fully accepting this truth, you can move on along the path of raising self-esteem, developing a sense of success. Parents can help the child in this realization. For an adult, since the pattern of behavior is ingrained, it is better to use the help of a professional psychologist.

As a rule, hobby for some new business helps a lot. You can even enroll in a martial arts class.

It is very important to consider the reaction to the abuser. He will perceive you very differently if the answer is different from his expectations. In some cases, a sense of humor helps. Try not to give in to irritation and channel a difficult conflict into a joke. In doing so, learn to be less sensitive to unpleasant situations.

How to deal with your own aggression?

The reasons described above give an idea of ​​why kind people become cruel. But how to deal with such manifestations? What to do if you start to boil internally?

Exercise perfectly cleanses negativity. After all, sport teaches conscious control over your emotions and body. Psychologists often recommend mastering breathing exercises. It will allow you to control both the body and the spirit.

Find a safe outlet for the accumulated negativity. Express your emotions with a scream. Only not to relatives and not to a colleague. Shout where you need it. For example, become an avid football fan or attend rock concerts.

By the way, psychologists recommend this technique: get up near the railway in the evening. When the train passes, scream as loud as you can. The noise of the wheels will drown out any sound. Nobody will hear you, but the body will receive the necessary relaxation.

Conclusion

Remember that only you can deal with the feeling of cruelty that arises within you. And this is completely within your power. If you want to find an answer to the question "why are people so cruel," start with yourself. Analyze your behavior. Get rid of the poisonous feeling, because sooner or later it threatens to develop into severe depression.

I AM
hate school! I wake up every day and try to find some
an excuse not to go there. I spend most of the year on sick leave
I constantly get colds, it seems to me, because I hate so much
school.

And it's all about my classmates. It all started two years
back when I transferred to a specialized English school. If
If only my mother knew! .. And then it began: on the first of September I came
on the ruler, and the very first boy from my class who saw me,
shouted: "Look, the bespectacled elephant is coming!" I even
I didn't immediately understand that he was talking about me. I used to have special problems
was not, I knew, of course, that a photo model from me will not work, but
never really worried about her weight. And then right away
felt so ugly! I almost cried, but controlled myself.

The girls in the class did not accept me either, she started talking to me
only one girl Katya. And the boys already in the first lesson began
throw paper balls at me and call me names in every possible way. Well
did I do that to them? Then the teacher called me to the blackboard and called
my last name, but I have it not very sonorous, to put it mildly: Kolbasnikova.
What started here, everyone was just dying of laughter! And follow me right away
the nickname of the Fat Sausage stuck.

I tried to talk to the class teacher.
But she said I was already a big girl to complain about. My
Mom thinks so too, and the main thing for her is that she arranged for me
to a prestigious school and that I will get a good education. How can I
to get it when I sit in class and am afraid that they will call me to the blackboard,
and everyone will start shouting: "Fat Sausage to the board!" Study
I have become much worse than in the previous school, I just don't care,
what grade i get. I mark every day on the calendar, I wait
when Saturday comes and you don't have to go to school and hear again
all these cruel words.

And recently, I found myself gaining even more weight.
Probably due to the fact that I come home angry and tired - I open
refrigerator and eat, for example, three whole cutlets. Or a chocolate bar.
And I can no longer stop, I eat everything that I find. Mom has already become
hide food from me! And at school they started teasing me even more,
and even the teachers don't stand up for me.

I do not know what to do. Until the end of the school there is still
two whole years, how can I survive them? I have no one to even talk to
heart to heart, with friends from the old school we do not see each other, mom does not want
nothing to hear about my problems in class. If I still end
school, then I will definitely become a psychologist. And I will help the same
girls who are bullied and called names. But while I'm waiting with horror for Monday,
because I know that I will have to go to school again ...

Ksenia".

Psychologist Olga Ilyina comments on the situation:

How much, Oksana, I need to tell you. And all the first
queue. Therefore, reading in order, know: EVERYTHING IS IMPORTANT.

MUST show this article to your mom to find out that
it is really important for her: the prestige of the school and the fact that her daughter is there
studying, or your psychological comfort and NORMAL SELF-ASSESSMENT.

I hope that you are important to mom after all. Simply, apparently
she did not have time to STOP and REALIZE that you really
poorly. That even the best school can't be good for you
if for two years not only the students, but also the teachers DO NOT SEE
OR SHOOT away from your problem. (By the way, information for your
mothers: if there is a person in the class who is destined for the role of a goat
scapegoat, it speaks of great pedagogical (!) trouble.)

In this case, it is best to transfer you to another (better
old, if there were friends) school. And you can learn everywhere, it was
would desire.

I didn't just call you by another name, try
and you call yourself differently. After all, Xenia means "stranger".
But Oksana is a completely different song. Open any book, especially
Ukrainian: whatever Oksana, then kindness and become. And to become is not
only beauty, but also relief forms.

Hence the following: do gymnastics. You need to develop
flexibility. And also, if possible, go to oriental dances.
or belly dance. In this case, you will not only feel good
your body, but you will also improve the work of the gastrointestinal tract, and it became
be, the metabolism will accelerate, and you will gradually lose weight.

In the meantime, the court and the case, imagine that you are transparent
glass, and all the nasty things that are addressed to Xenia pass by, like
through the glass, without touching you: after all, you are not only transparent, but
and they are not addressing you: you have a different name.

And let mom not forget that the school needs to be changed: it is important
not only get a secondary education, but also feel
capable of more.

And the last thing: work on your body in spite of your enemies,
but for yourself, your beloved. Improve yourself. You have a lot to strive for.

Feeling angry familiar to every person.

This condition is explained not only from a psychological, but also from a medical point of view.

What is it: definition of a concept

Anger- This is a negative emotional reaction in which there is an extreme degree of discontent and irritation.

It is caused by specific circumstances, the actions of other people, their own mistakes.

Often this feeling occurs for no apparent reason because of internal contradictions tearing apart the personality.

Anger is extremely negative, destructive. It negatively affects not only the emotional state of the person who experiences it, but also his relationship with others.

The more people in society who show dissatisfaction and irritation, the more negative attitude of all its members in general.

The same happens in a small group: one disgruntled person can ruin the mood of everyone else.

The psychology of the emergence of feelings

When a person becomes angry, special neurons located in the hypothalamus are activated. Anger performs the role of the defense mechanism. By the appearance of this feeling, we can judge the presence of a problem that is present at a given moment in time.

Often people engage in self-deception and ignore the negative reactions that arise in their minds.

As a result, the unpleasant feeling is suppressed, but does not disappear.

It stays deep inside and weakens the inner resources of the personality.

For this reason, it is so important to objectively assess such an emotional state, try to find a rational explanation for it and take measures to resolve the situation.

Anger arises for several reasons:



Anger can be short-term or long-term. In the first case, the subject is reflected in the performed action, the uttered phrase, etc.

As soon as a person gives release to the thoughts tormenting him, he immediately comes to a normal state.

Long-term anger accumulates over a long time. Such long-term emotion can negatively affect the personality, lifestyle and relationships with others.

This feeling not always destructive.

In certain situations, it can be a powerful stimulus for making important changes in life.

The most productive is self-anger..

Not all people are able to recognize the fact that all events that happen to them are the result of their own thoughts and actions.

The ability to objectively assess your shortcomings helps you learn to control your life and. Exactly anger becomes a powerful engine, thanks to which a person completely changes the surrounding reality.

Medical factors

In a state of stress, irritation, anger, the level in the blood rises in people norepinephrine.

This hormone of the adrenal medulla, which is in many ways similar in its characteristics to adrenaline.

During negative emotional reactions due to an increase in the level of norepinephrine in the blood there is an increase in heart rate, an increase in blood pressure, increased blood supply to the muscles.

If you pay attention to an angry person, you will notice reddening of his face, muscle tension, change in facial expressions.

In a state of strong excitement, a person begins to speak loudly, his nostrils flare, breathing quickens.

All these outward manifestations of the experienced dissatisfaction are the result of an increase in the level of norepinephrine in the blood. It is for this reason that it is so important not to keep feelings to yourself, but to give them a way out. This allows reduce the negative impact on the body.

Causes of anger

Anger comes from a variety of reasons. These reasons may differ depending on the sex and age of the person.

Society

Why did people become so angry and cruel? Modern society at the same time presents a person with a large number of requirements and provides many temptations.

In the pursuit of material goods, people often do not notice how constantly they feel a sense of dissatisfaction. They don't like their job, income, apartment, car, family, etc.

Striving to conform to imposed ideals and the constant vanity of life plunges people into a state of depression, chronic fatigue. All this leads to the fact that the slightest external stimuli become the cause of anger.

People swear in public transport because of the crowdedness and stuffiness, quarrel with their neighbors over the noise in the apartment, share parking spaces in the yard, envy their more successful colleagues, etc.

There aren't many real reasons for the average person to really be angry.

If you learn is at peace with himself and with the people around him, then you can minimize the frequency of occurrence of this destructive emotion.

Important appreciate small pleasures, take care of loved ones, get out into nature more often, communicate with animals, etc. The kinder a person is, the more favorable the atmosphere around him is. Evil people, as a rule, see one negative in all surrounding phenomena and events.

Among women

Why did I become angry?

An aggressive woman not only is not happy herself, but also makes her loved ones unhappy: her husband, children.

Main reasons for which the girl becomes angry:



Irritability during pregnancy

Changes during pregnancy progesterone and estrogen levels in the blood of a woman. This leads to the appearance of anxiety, irritability, sharp.

Women in a position become at the same time vulnerable, impressionable and. Often they themselves are unable to control their own behavior.

In addition to hormonal changes, serious physiological changes occur in the body: weight gain, edema, nausea, fatigue, drowsiness, etc. All this also negatively affects the emotional state of the expectant mother.

Of great importance is the forced need to lead a normal life until a certain period.

Pregnant women must perform professional duties, do housework, take care of their husband regardless of their health and psychological state.

In later stages, the inability to perform elementary actions without assistance (tying laces, getting into the shower, climbing stairs) often becomes an additional cause of irritation.

In men

Men are no less emotional than women. Reasons why they usually feel angry:

  • unmet need (for food, sex, care, money, material goods, etc.);
  • lack of recognition (from the beloved woman, colleagues, family);
  • illness with ensuing poor health;
  • troubles (personal, professional, material);
  • envy;
  • loneliness.

Anger in children and adolescents

Teenage aggression tends to be more pronounced. This is due to the immaturity of the psyche, inability to control their behavior, the desire to attract attention.

It is important for parents and professionals recognize in time that the child has problems and take appropriate action. The main reasons for childish anger:



So anger is destructive feeling, with which you must be able to fight at any age.

A suppressed negative reaction can cause serious harm to the human body.

Why are people angry? Find out about it from the video:

Throughout our lives, we have met at least once with a person who, in our opinion, was cruel, angry and decisively disgusting to us.

If your past is at least in some way similar to the past of other people, you were most likely teased, gossip was spread about you, you were shouted at, humiliated, cornered, intimidated and unjustly punished - and your reaction, probably, was: “ FOR WHAT?"

Why are people angry with each other? Why do some people even like to be bitchy and venomous? You, like most people, will answer something like "... because they are bad people", "... because they are psychopaths / sociopaths", "... they are evil", "... well, that's how they are, what can you do!"

Yes, such answers are quite normal and widespread, nevertheless, this view of things is very narrow. These answers are naive, and it would be time to better understand why "bad people are bad."

Why do we like to be hurt?

You are talking to someone, you said something frankly offensive, and your interlocutor takes offense at you. He rises menacingly and says: “You know, I learned a thing or two about you. You are a real bastard and you don't give a damn about anyone but yourself. No wonder you have almost no friends. " And then it quickly rinses off.

What's your reaction?

Full of righteous anger, you can jump up and start refuting all attacks by striking back. Well, or you will continue to sit, wondering what you said, while sadness-longing slowly devours you. "How could he do this to me?", "What the hell have I done?" You can continue to stew in your hatred, cursing everything around.

These two reactions are quite common, and I myself have behaved in a similar way in the past. Responding to another person's anger disturbs our peace of mind ... but you know what I'm going to tell you? We like to be outraged. We like to be drunk with anger.

When we feel unjustly wronged, we immediately reward ourselves with the title of “victim,” and not only - we also feel a sense of our own superiority. How often in the past have you been angry with a "disgusting person" with a firm conviction that "I am much better." I think quite often. But don't worry, this is normal. We all do that.

The fact is that anger is like a drug, and not only because it gives us the false feeling that we are supposedly better, more beautiful, more correct, and fairer. In addition to this, it creates the illusion of differentiation between us and the world (in other words, strengthens our ego). Because of this, we cannot see through the veil of misbehavior - because of our unwillingness to get rid of anger.

Once we are fully prepared to let go of our anger and all its charms, we can truly understand why people are so bad. This realization will be of infinite benefit to you.

How to break the mask of feigned cruelty?

When we blame bad and cruel people for all mortal sins, we deprive them of all human qualities. Yes, you will say that there are psychopaths and sociopaths who have no empathy or remorse at all. But these people (who by the way make up a very low percentage of the population) are not robots either. In fact, they too suffer from feelings of loneliness, resentment, disappointment, depression, and this explains a lot. Psychopaths can even show empathy whenever they want.

I am convinced that not all "bad" people that we meet are necessarily psychopaths or sociopaths, in fact, they are deeply wounded. And we do not have time to sort out their feelings, because they are disgusting to us (and because, let's face it, we ourselves were deeply hurt).

We spew excuses like “So what? We are all sufferers, but this is not an excuse at all, ”and thus we strengthen our confidence in our righteousness and continue to torment ourselves.

However, if you want to take responsibility for yourself, your life and your happiness, you need to remember one thing:

All cruel, evil, rude people are just like that, because they are in pain.

If you want to look behind the veil of this ostentatious cruelty, you need to understand “what hurts”. You may have to dig into his past, talk to friends, colleagues to find out why he behaves this way. Well, or just guess.

No matter which approach you take, you’re bound to learn something amazing: Their behavior is driven by pain.

Perhaps it is a matter of family quarrels, problems at work, breakup or divorce, tragedy or something more vague like depression, fear of failure, fear of rejection, low self-esteem, feelings when a person cannot cope with this pain, he directs it on others. And thus the pain is evened out, multiplying.

But it is in your power to interrupt this circle of pain and prevent it from interfering with your thoughts, feelings, life. The most important thing is to learn to see all these mechanisms in your own head and, as a result, to truly understand a person.

The next time someone treats you badly, take your time. Feel all negative emotions and then release them. Ask yourself, "What pain is this person experiencing that makes him do this?" Then open yourself up to forgiveness and understanding, because all the mental patterns that led to this behavior on his part are or were in you. And the only reason you might not have them is either a perfect childhood and growing up or

Once a day, continuous negativity of various scales seeps into our lives. The media helpfully report who killed, robbed, and knocked down whom. All the time, various sources of information bring to our attention information about new cataclysms, political troubles. And the positive, in comparison with the amount of negative news, is negligible. A memory is created that there are no good and good things left in the world. Unfortunately, this stream “clogged up” the heads so much that now no one even thinks why people are so merciless? How can I change this? And is the modern population of the earth really so soulless?

Main prerequisites

Why are there so many bitter people? The answer to this question should be found in the reasons for the emergence of anger. It should be seen that the manifestation of ruthlessness is quite diverse. With all this, it is easy to identify her. A person who inflicts pain on another, forcing him to suffer, not fundamentally, morally or on a physical level, who is one hundred percent aware of this and seeks to cause harm, is cruel.

Psychologists identify three reasons why people are violent:

  • Dissatisfaction with life... Individuals dissatisfied with their own fate are quite often exposed to stress and depression. These emotions overwhelm their souls so much that they are ready to break free at any moment. That is why all the negativity is often spilled out by mothers on children. Some people, under the influence of anger, break tree branches, beat animals. This spiritual state is quite unsafe, as it threatens the owner with the appearance of neuroses, psychological disorders. In addition to all this, constant negativity seriously shortens life expectancy, leads to the development of heart disease or skin dilemmas.
  • Indifference... Very often it specifically generates unjustified ruthlessness. Some people do not even try to realize how much pain their actions can cause, and sometimes words. They do not think how much they can hurt another. With all this, the object of their mercilessness is a weak creature that cannot show emotions and explain what pain they have caused him.
  • Repressed emotions. From time to time, a person shows anger "on the side". This behavior is typical of those who, in their daily life, are obliged to hide and suppress desires, emotions, impulses at all times. In most cases, such ruthlessness is characteristic of grown-up children (especially boys) who grew up in a family of authoritarian parents. Employees who are obliged to unconditionally do the orders of the boss, not having the ability to reveal their will, in some criteria can show very cruel cruelty.

Historical ruthlessness

The older generation likes to wonder - why are so many violent people appeared? Earlier, everyone was kinder. Listening to their complaints, you involuntarily agree. One has only to open a newspaper or watch the announcements.

Previously, people were kinder. It is worth considering. And earlier - when? Millennia ago, when cannibalism flourished? Well, these people can, in fact, even somehow be justified. They were primitive. And they did not know at all about the human relation to their neighbor. Or maybe those who were in the era of the Inquisition were kinder? Or during the reign of Stalin? A huge number of people sat in jail thanks to denunciations. How many such "good people" from the bottom of their hearts tried to present a "gift" to their neighbor!

Why does the feeling arise that there are so many bitter people now? Naturally, the media did their bit. In the era of democracy, they pay more attention to manifestations of ruthlessness. It must be emphasized that the level of humanity among the world's population has increased, therefore, anger is so very visible.

Business with family

It is common for all people to be ruthless. For some, this happens very rarely. Others quite often show anger. With all this, at least some can commit a fierce act, and quite often such outbreaks occur in really good people. Unfortunately, all the negativity spills out on the closest ones. For those who are really loved and very dear. Why are people so merciless? What compels them to “rip off” their anger at their relatives, and to restrain their outbursts of anger with those around them? Why is it not possible to keep your behavior under control in a conversation with loved ones?

Yes, therefore, that relatives will not go anywhere. Communicating with strangers, a person restrains himself. There are many circumstances: both the eagerness to win over the interlocutor for oneself, and the fear of losing a fascinating friend. In the case of a boss, incontinence can threaten to be fired. But if you get into the circle of relatives, especially in a bad mood, even one word can make a person mad. It was then that a scandal flared up from a completely empty place. Naturally, this is fundamentally incorrect, but the accumulated negative asks for relaxation. That is why it pours out on the closest ones. They, even if they really offend them and quarrel with them, adore them so much that they will forgive them anyway.

Root of evil

The feeling of anger comes from nature. It is necessary in order to mobilize all forces for the struggle in unsafe moments. But how it will be applied by a person depends on the norms of morality instilled in childhood. If the ancestors show anger towards the child, this will certainly come back to haunt. Terror-based affairs between children and fathers are more likely to be adopted by the child in conversation with peers. It is in the family that the root of evil must be found. This upbringing clearly explains why people become bitter.

Although in this situation, the baby may develop a different model of behavior: he decides that he is bad and is to blame for everything. Such a child becomes a victim of the fierce appeal of peers. Often he does not even look for ways of protection, believing that he deserves something similar.

From time to time, the prerequisite for anger may not be violence at all, but overprotection. This way of upbringing brings a sense of permissiveness to the child's subconsciousness. The child imagines himself to be the most basic and asks for unconditional obedience. Unfortunately, a person who is not taught by his parents to respect others will not find this wisdom anywhere else. He will not even see how he humiliates.

Instability in society

An indirect prerequisite for ruthlessness is growing anxiety. Social inequality, inconsistency give rise to a feeling of discomfort. On TV screens, people see again the same ruthlessness. A person, whose psyche is formed, is able to distinguish grain from husk, he will not perceive anger as a call to action. The child, on the other hand, will swallow up, like a sponge, the scenes of violence on the screen. And he can perceive all this as some kind of school of life. It is fundamental to understand how similar television hurts the child's psyche, and the answer to the question: "Why did people become violent?" will be received instantly.

Feelings of rejection

It is especially developed during adolescence. But many adults carry these feelings into adulthood. Quite often, you can follow the picture when the baby loudly exclaims on the street and pokes his finger at a person with a different skin color or having a physical defect.

Adults react very differently. On a subconscious level, they feel a sense of threat. This is where the desire to withdraw from it appears. But for some it manifests itself in ruthlessness and violence. This particular feeling sometimes forces adolescents to scoff at their peers who are different from them. Why are people so merciless? Again, the instilled abilities of tolerance and respect in the family will not allow a child or an adult to behave this way.

How to defend the victim

Psychologists say that in a team it is quite easy to find what kind of people are ruthless and who is a "lamb". Therefore, it is recommended to identify the victim of anger by the following signs:

  • low self-esteem;
  • insecurity within oneself;
  • full acceptance of the notion that the problems are deserved.

One should start with an understanding of one's own "I". Any person has a number of advantages and disadvantages. He is what he is. And no one has the right to offend him. Only by fully accepting this truth, you can move further along the path of raising self-esteem, developing a sense of luck. The ancestors can help the child in this understanding. For an adult, since the pattern of behavior is ingrained, it is better to use the help of a professional psychologist.

Usually, hobby for some new business helps a lot. You can even enroll in a martial arts class.

It is very important to think about the reaction to the offender. He will accept you in a completely different way if the answer is good from his expectations. In some cases, a sense of humor helps. Try not to succumb to annoyance and to put a difficult conflict in the mainstream of a joke. With all this, learn to accept the least nasty situations.

How to deal with your anger?

The prerequisites described above give an idea of ​​why kind people become bitter. But how to deal with such manifestations? What if you start to boil internally?

Exercise perfectly cleanses negativity. After all, sport teaches conscious control over your senses and body. Psychologists often advise to master breathing exercises. It will allow you to control both the body and the spirit.

Find a safe outlet for the accumulated negativity. Express your emotions with a click. Only not to relatives and not to an employee. Shout where necessary. For example, become a specific football fan or attend rock concerts.

By the way, psychologists advise this technique: get up near the steel road in the evening. When the train passes, yell as loudly as you can. The noise of the wheels will drown out any sound. Nobody will hear you, but the body will receive the necessary relaxation.

Conclusion

Remember that only you can control the feeling of ruthlessness that appears within you. And this is quite within your power. If you want to find the answer to the question “why are people so merciless,” start with yourself. Analyze your behavior. Get rid of the poisonous feeling, because at some point it threatens to grow into severe depression.

Greetings, dear readers! Do you know what percentage of the likelihood that you will die a natural death, and not from the cruelty of society? I'm sure you immediately imagine violence and murder right now. But I will grieve you, ruthlessness and heartlessness also lead to such sad consequences.

The faster a society develops, the more it moves away from its nature and becomes more vulnerable. On the one hand, humanity has become tolerant and humane, on the other hand, the statistics of the manifestation of cruelty in various crimes is off the charts.

Why does a person become violent? Where does this trait come from in us and can we be saved from it? If you are concerned about the safety of yourself and your loved ones, read this article to the end. This will be your minimum that you can do for the well-being of the whole society.

Atrocity is about people

Recently, we often hear that animals are kinder than people. That a person sometimes behaves like an animal. Cruel, impudent, dirty, shameless. But I do not agree with this comparison, it is at least insulting for animals. And the concept of cruelty is generally applicable only to humans.

Animals do not have a higher intelligence, they live life only on their natural instincts. We used to think that if they kill their own kind, then they are ruthless and heartless. But they are not endowed with such feelings by nature, unlike humans.

Cruelty is a character trait that manifests itself as a ruthless, aggressive attitude towards all living beings, with the aim of causing pain and suffering to them. A victim can become not only a person, but also any animal, plant.

And who is a cruel man? This is an individual who makes cruelty his way of life. Such a person can easily insult, humiliate, hit or even kill. His demands are inadequate, and if they are not met, merciless punishment follows, sometimes even physical. He simply does not realize the inadmissibility of such behavior. There is no pity or compassion in him. And it’s good if such feelings are simply absent, it’s scary when the suffering of others is a pleasure.

Inaction can hurt too

Cruelty comes in two forms. Active and passive. If in the first option everything is clear, the individual takes some action, then in the second it is much more interesting.

In a passive form, a person is inactive. For example, when a crowd beats one, a dog attacks someone or the person drowns.

Of course there can still be. But it is much sadder if a person heartlessly walks by, not trying to help and still gloating.

Inhumanity is manifested through:

  • Verbal aggression
  • Inflicting physical pain, violence
  • Killing a person, animal, or even a plant
  • Vandalism
  • Acts "out of spite"
  • Anger and hatred of others, eternal blaming them for all problems
  • Failure to provide assistance to someone who needs it


Causes of cruelty

A healthy, adequate person will never understand how you can hurt others and enjoy it. For this reason, it stuck in our head that all murderers, rapists and maniacs are mentally ill people.

In fact, only a part of them will really be with a mental disorder. Those accused of a crime always undergo a psychiatric examination before they are sentenced. The type of punishment depends on it, it will be a prison term or compulsory treatment. Therefore, it should be assumed that a mentally healthy person is capable of knowingly showing cruelty.

Sometimes it also happens that people are specifically looking for a way to become ruthless and cruel. Basically, these are those who have already faced such an attitude towards themselves and believe that the only way to survive is to switch to the dark side. This is the first reason why people become violent.

  1. A person is faced with a merciless attitude towards himself and considers this to be the solution to all his problems. Disappointment in people occurs and there is a desire to show everyone the "thick skin".
  2. Also, when a person accepts such behavior as true, as a rule, they are children. If a child sees cruelty in his parents, then one should not expect kindness and sympathy from him in adulthood. Character is programmed through childhood. Children do not yet know what is good and bad. For them, everything is right what their parents are doing. Also, children under overprotection can think of themselves as "kings" and demand the unquestioning obedience of everyone else.
  3. causes anger and aggression. When a person is not satisfied with his fate, he begins to look for the culprit in this. This is in the ideal case, he comes to the understanding that he is his own blacksmith of happiness, but usually everything is not so rosy. Bad government, noisy neighbor, boss is a fool, wife is a bitch, children are mediocre. In such a situation, how can you love someone? I don't think so. If you are in constant depression, you hate everyone, and it also seems that they hate you, then of course you will either go crazy or become a maniac.
  4. Mental illness. You can be born with such a sore, or you can buy it. Neurological diseases or certain negative life events can lead to such consequences.


We used to live better

The older generation likes to complain and say that young people are cruel now. That goodness loses and the dark side fills the world. At first, of course, I would like to agree, but if we turn to history, then questions arise already to the ancestors.

When were they kinder? When was cannibalism present? Or perhaps the Inquisition was held in high esteem? Perhaps during the reign of Stalin, when denunciation was considered a duty? I am already silent about fascism. After all, it was not born in our days.

Previously, they simply did not think about why a person becomes cruel. There were other problems. I want to note that now people, on the contrary, have become more humane, because of this, the cruelty is striking.

Mass media and the weakening of censorship play a huge role in life. News bulletins are constantly filled with scary headlines. Turn on the TV, switch channels and you will surely come across at least one on which cruelty is demonstrated.

Because of this, we also develop an addiction to cruelty. Learning every day that somewhere someone was killed, in the end, every person at least once in his life will say “They killed and killed, what will you do. Life is like that. "

The difficult economic situation, aggravation of relations between states, information war, substitution of concepts, mistakes in upbringing, and not only of parents, public education is also not ideal. All of this affects the mood of society, the weather in the house and relationships between people.

A person who is too kind is dangerous to himself.

Sometimes a person who behaves unfriendly and cruelly seems to us immediately sick. But it is not he who is sick, but his system of values ​​and thoughts.

Practice shows that not everyone who tortured animals in childhood becomes murderers, but all murderers did it. After all, the technical one will not be difficult to offend, hit or even kill a person, but morally it is very difficult to do it.

But there are people with a very kind soul and sometimes they ask themselves the question of how to become cruel, cold-blooded and insensitive.

Most often, this is necessary in order to simply stop using them. Sometimes excessive morality and conscience gives a person suffering. He cannot refuse, he has to disregard his desires and needs.

Also, excessive pity for everyone can drive you crazy. Constantly putting oneself in the place of another, feeling sorry for everyone and experiencing other people's negative emotions, prevent a person from learning to defend himself. Aggression is one of the components of the self-preservation instinct.

Is it possible to cultivate cruelty in oneself? I believe that it is possible, but it is better not to do it. I recommend watching a film on this topic based on the real events of the Stanford Prison Experiment. The Experiment by Paul Scheuring. On a voluntary basis, 26 people were locked up in the prison, half of them played the role of prisoners, the other half as guards.

Regardless of whether you are cruel or merciful, you need to work with your emotions and spiritual development. You need to be able to negotiate with yourself.

Human society has been constantly and intensively developing for many centuries. Some eras are replaced by others, progress in all spheres of activity has erected man on the pedestal of the dominant species on planet Earth.

One thing is bad: on the path of progress, everything is changing, but no one with all the aspirations, strengths and possibilities could neither prohibit, nor overcome, nor abolish cruelty. This character trait, like many others, manifests itself in different situations, changing a person to unpredictable consequences.

What is cruelty?

Cruelty is selfish selfishness, envy, hatred and anger towards other people, towards life and towards yourself. This is the result of a lack of success in achieving your own goals and objectives, with deliberate or accidental harm to everything around you.

It's not a secret for anyone: what you sow, you reap - cruelty breeds cruelty. Causing harm to everything around in order to gain benefits for themselves, people do not think about the consequences that will not keep themselves waiting long.

Forms of violence

Cruelty has different forms of manifestation: causing physical pain to a living creature without any pity and compassion, hurtful words, all kinds of actions and even inaction, and often - unhealthy fantasies. She finds a loophole in straightforwardness and stubbornness, in mockery and deceit, in anger and unfriendliness, in intolerance of the mistakes of others.

The worst thing is when cruelty brings pleasure, moral or physical. This is sadism. Moreover, people, animals, plants, buildings, monuments, transport, places of leisure, etc., suffer from the harmful effects.

Causes of cruelty

People are not born cruel. In society, there have always been norms of behavior, ethics and morality, on the border of which cruelty dormant. Abusive people become abusive for many reasons:

  1. Inflated or low self-esteem. Dissatisfaction with life and yourself.
  2. The concepts of morality and ethics have lost their validity.
  3. Self-affirmation in a distorted form as a misunderstanding of the methods of self-preservation.
  4. Childhood fears that have survived in adulthood among people who are faced with indifference, cruel punishment and a strict regime of education in childhood.
  5. Demonstration of your greatness and power in humiliating, mocking words, oppression and suppression, violence, murder. Sadism is the highest form of cruelty.
  6. Pride and, as a result, a sense of revenge.
  7. Concealment of personal complexes due to inferiority and weakness.
  8. Manifestation of inhumanity in inaction, getting pleasure from it, deliberate refusal to help.

Tolerable cruelty

To gain a deeper understanding of what cruelty is, you need to consider it as a reaction to intolerable circumstances that threaten a person's existence. And the more violent they are, the more the response goes off scale.

The psychology of cruelty is a fine line on which good and evil balance. Is it possible to be a harmless, sympathetic, compliant person for everyone if you are faced with meanness, injustice, humiliation and insults? Probably not. And they are afraid of the cruel, shunned, sometimes even respected.

A tough person is a strong personality. Kindness cannot be opposed to cruelty if human life depends on it. Therefore, cruelty must be developed not for violence, but in order to resist it.

Why are there violent people? Man is by nature a predator. If you look back at the whole history, then the wars with the most brutal destruction of all living things cannot be counted. Therefore, in any developed society, laws are needed, the violation of which is fraught with severe punishment. Cruelty is an integral part of life, which means that you need to learn to live with it and fight, look for new models of behavior.

Examples of violence in everyday life

Every person at least once asked that there is also cruelty, examples of which are found all the time. All media outlets are simply full of reports of outrage and violence. Television, radio, press, Internet, fiction and scientific literature, history textbooks - everywhere you can come across examples of cruelty.

Any historical social order, kings, serfdom, wars, repressions - everything is permeated with cruelty. The cult of cruelty in religions, sacrifice, aggression, intimidation, abuse of power, off-scale crime rates and impunity, terrorism is also cruelty.

In family life, examples of cruelty are suppression of the will, energetic vampirism, creating obstacles to the realization of intellectual, creative and professional opportunities, all kinds of prohibitions in planning offspring, budget, leisure, etc.

And, of course, cruelty to animals is an abyss from which it is impossible to get out. If a person is capable of offending a dumb creature, then it is already difficult to call him a person.

What is cruelty in the children's world

Very often, cruelty is manifested in children who are out of control. Child abuse is primarily associated with unfavorable family relationships. Lack of respect between family members, frequent quarrels in the presence of children reduce the level of trust in parents, from which there is anger and aggression in the child.

Attention, caring, patience, frankness will help protect children from cruelty. A personal role model is very important. The absence of cruelty on the part of parents towards children and people around them will raise the respect in the family to the proper level. Seeing and appreciating a child's personality, reckoning with his opinion and interests, trying to see the world through his eyes is the key to success in the eternal problem of fathers and children.

How to defeat cruelty?

Knowing and understanding what cruelty is, you can take certain measures to protect yourself from it. Among them are simple methods and work on yourself:

  1. If you realize that cruelty is evil, then this is the first step towards solving the issue of getting rid of it.
  2. You need to love yourself, people and the whole world around you, thereby getting rid of your inner fears.
  3. You need to give to the world what you yourself want to receive: mercy, compassion, goodness.
  4. Increasing self-esteem, striving for success, public recognition is one of the most effective ways to combat cruelty.
  5. Limiting the circle of communication. Surrounded by kind and decent people, the world becomes cleaner.

Thus, cruelty is due to both external and internal factors that are embedded in a person from childhood. We talked not only about our own ability to be cruel, but also about the very attitude towards such a manifestation of other people. Therefore, it is necessary to fight and prevent this character trait from childhood, instilling in the child kindness and mercy to the people around him.

Throughout our lives, we have met at least once with a person who, in our opinion, was cruel, angry and decisively disgusting to us.

If your past is at least in some way similar to the past of other people, you were most likely teased, gossip was spread about you, you were shouted at, humiliated, cornered, intimidated and unjustly punished - and your reaction, probably, was: “ FOR WHAT?"

Why are people angry with each other? Why do some people even like to be bitchy and venomous? You, like most people, will answer something like "... because they are bad people", "... because they are psychopaths / sociopaths", "... they are evil", "... well, that's how they are, what can you do!"

Yes, such answers are quite normal and widespread, nevertheless, this view of things is very narrow. These answers are naive, and it would be time to better understand why "bad people are bad."

Why do we like to be hurt?

You are talking to someone, you said something frankly offensive, and your interlocutor takes offense at you. He rises menacingly and says: “You know, I learned a thing or two about you. You are a real bastard and you don't give a damn about anyone but yourself. No wonder you have almost no friends. " And then it quickly rinses off.

What's your reaction?

Full of righteous anger, you can jump up and start refuting all attacks by striking back. Well, or you will continue to sit, wondering what you said, while sadness-longing slowly devours you. "How could he do this to me?", "What the hell have I done?" You can continue to stew in your hatred, cursing everything around.

These two reactions are quite common, and I myself have behaved in a similar way in the past. Responding to another person's anger disturbs our peace of mind ... but you know what I'm going to tell you? We like to be outraged. We like to be drunk with anger.

When we feel unjustly wronged, we immediately reward ourselves with the title of “victim,” and not only - we also feel a sense of our own superiority. How often in the past have you been angry with a "disgusting person" with a firm conviction that "I am much better." I think quite often. But don't worry, this is normal. We all do that.

The fact is that anger is like a drug, and not only because it gives us the false feeling that we are supposedly better, more beautiful, more correct, and fairer. In addition to this, it creates the illusion of differentiation between us and the world (in other words, strengthens our ego). Because of this, we cannot see through the veil of misbehavior - because of our unwillingness to get rid of anger.

Once we are fully prepared to let go of our anger and all its charms, we can truly understand why people are so bad. This realization will be of infinite benefit to you.

How to break the mask of feigned cruelty?

When we blame bad and cruel people for all mortal sins, we deprive them of all human qualities. Yes, you will say that there are psychopaths and sociopaths who have no empathy or remorse at all. But these people (who by the way make up a very low percentage of the population) are not robots either. In fact, they too suffer from feelings of loneliness, resentment, disappointment, depression, and this explains a lot. Psychopaths can even show empathy whenever they want.

I am convinced that not all "bad" people that we meet are necessarily psychopaths or sociopaths, in fact, they are deeply wounded. And we do not have time to sort out their feelings, because they are disgusting to us (and because, let's face it, we ourselves were deeply hurt).

We spew excuses like “So what? We are all sufferers, but this is not an excuse at all, ”and thus we strengthen our confidence in our righteousness and continue to torment ourselves.

However, if you want to take responsibility for yourself, your life and your happiness, you need to remember one thing:

All cruel, evil, rude people are just like that, because they are in pain.

If you want to look behind the veil of this ostentatious cruelty, you need to understand “what hurts”. You may have to dig into his past, talk to friends, colleagues to find out why he behaves this way. Well, or just guess.

No matter which approach you take, you’re bound to learn something amazing: Their behavior is driven by pain.

Perhaps it is a matter of family quarrels, problems at work, breakup or divorce, tragedy or something more vague like depression, fear of failure, fear of rejection, low self-esteem, feelings when a person cannot cope with this pain, he directs it on others. And thus the pain is evened out, multiplying.

But it is in your power to interrupt this circle of pain and prevent it from interfering with your thoughts, feelings, life. The most important thing is to learn to see all these mechanisms in your own head and, as a result, to truly understand a person.

The next time someone treats you badly, take your time. Feel all negative emotions and then release them. Ask yourself, "What pain is this person experiencing that makes him do this?" Then open yourself up to forgiveness and understanding, because all the mental patterns that led to this behavior on his part are or were in you. And the only reason you might not have them is either a perfect childhood and growing up or

The world today has become greedy. In other words, this concept can be defined as commercialism, avarice, greed for material goods, greed. What does greed mean? This is an irrepressible craving for money or material goods, and often they are strangers. As a feeling, this phenomenon can be considered in many life examples.

In religion, greed is considered one of the deadly sins. A greedy person always carries anger towards others, does not trust anyone and avoids deep relationships. This leads to loneliness, when a person can be surrounded by people, but he will understand that he cannot be open to anyone.

Greed pushes people to do many things that they may later regret. Often, various crimes (theft, robbery, beatings, etc.) are committed on the basis of greed for material wealth. Modern people create families based on the love of money. They are friends with each other because they want access.

Of course, I wonder why people became so angry and cruel, you might think they were different before. There is a paradox: people always think that modernity is going to hell, but in the past, yes, it was good there, not like now. Trash, not time ... And people partially or completely correspond to time. But still, we will try to consider why people are so bad, and whether this is true.

It is important to understand that the categories "good" and "evil" are usually relative. Of course, there are absolutely terrifying acts that a Muslim, Christian and atheist will condemn alike. But now it's not about that, but about the norm. If we take, for example, murder, then, on the one hand, it is evil, but on the other hand, when a terrorist or a maniac is eliminated, it is not such a evil, from the point of view of an ordinary person.

Or another example. Now the controversy about the legality of euthanasia as a phenomenon does not cease. Some shout that a person must die with dignity, and if he is tormented by pain.

Every day, continuous negativity of various scales penetrates into our life. The media helpfully report who killed, robbed, and shot down whom. Constantly various sources of information bring to our attention information about new cataclysms, political troubles. And the positive, in comparison with the amount of negative news, is negligible. One gets the impression that there is absolutely no good and good left in the world. Unfortunately, this stream “clogged up” the heads so much that today no one even thinks about why people are so cruel? How can this be changed? And is modern humanity really so soulless?

Main reasons

Why are there so many violent people? The answer to this question should be sought in the causes of aggression. It should be noted that the manifestation of cruelty is quite diverse. At the same time, it is not difficult to identify it. A person who hurts another by making him suffer, it does not matter, mentally or physically, fully aware of this and striving to cause harm.

The greed of people is the love of money, money-grubbing, greed, in other words, it is an immoderate craving for money or other material benefits. In Catholic theology, human greed is considered one of the main flaws, basic vices, mortal sins, since it leads to an increase in troubles and worries, internal anger, unsociability. In addition, the described vice relentlessly provokes fear of loss and anger.

The word greed is associated with greed (covetousness), which is condemned by all nations. Often this sin serves as a motive for committing a grave wrongful act or is the cause of a tragedy.

Feeling of greed

Covetousness or greed is a vice, which consists in a person's lack of control over his own desire for material wealth. At the same time, as these very benefits are accumulated, the feeling of satisfaction does not appear, on the contrary, greed is more and more inflamed.

Humanity has invented 7 deadly sins. Greed is one of them. What is this feeling? Many people confuse greed with greed. This is very close, but there is more to come. Many argue that this is selfishness. Well, greed also includes this quality. The article will tell you about what greed means, give examples and consider the problem of this phenomenon.

What is Greed?

What is Greed? It can be noted that many people act out of the intention to receive something. It is good when a person receives money or any other material wealth. All people need material benefits, which is natural in the world of market and economic relations. However, for some people, this desire is excessive. They are no longer interested in anything like the material side of any issue, where they will receive some reward (preferably in monetary terms). This is called greed.

Why are people greedy? Greed gives rise to evil in people, therefore, greed is called one of the most impartial manifestations in Christianity: anger, greed and crime are born of greed. Why do you need to follow the 10 commandments? Only insatiable greed for knowledge and doing good deeds are justified, and everything else is below in the article.

Why are people greedy

Greed is most often taken to mean specific personal data:

desire to have and spend more money on yourself; lack of desire to lose your wealth; striving for accumulation and acquisitiveness.

Sometimes, a completely non-greedy person may show actions that are associated with greed, for example, unwillingness to spend money on yourself or your loved ones - this may be caused by a material situation or a number of circumstances.

Greed has existed at all times - this is a natural quality of character, since material wealth has always determined the level of existence and life.

The concept of happiness in this world

What is greed? That we are silent, do you really not know what greed is? ... Yes, an insatiable desire for the fruits of material labor, greed. What is the reason for the occurrence? What is the reason? The main reason for greed, why? No. What is the main cause of greed? I told you in my lectures. This reason is the nature of the soul, what kind of nature, what type of nature, eh? Yes. The soul has such power, it wants to be happy, and this desire is limitless, it has no end. Therefore, a person who sees his happiness in the material, i.e. he believes that the more things he has at home, the more money he has, the happier he will be, this is greed. Got it, right?

Greed means our original state: we want to be happy. Therefore, can a person be accused of being greedy? In the same way, we can accuse each other of the fact that we are generally doing the wrong thing here.

Why are modern people so heartless and cruel? Over the past few years, people have become callous and less tolerant.

This is the conclusion reached by the National Sociological Research Service, after analyzing the results of a large-scale survey on human relations and social climate change in the UK. And this is not the only country where attitudes towards the poor have noticeably deteriorated.

Every second Briton today believes that the country's social policy is too soft, and the benefits are too large.

One in four is convinced that people have financial difficulties only because they are lazy and slow. Since 1983, when statisticians first conducted such a study, the number of those who believe that the state cares too much about the unemployed and the poor has almost doubled - to 54%.

People have become cruel, too cruel. It is especially scary to watch today's news: someone was beaten with bats, someone was tortured, someone was shot, a bomb was dropped on someone ... We are literally shaking with cruelty, can it really be even worse? What is happening to our world? Why do people become angry and violent? And how, in the end, can we stop this orgy of pain, horror and despair?

Why are some people kind and some cruel?
Why did modern people become especially cruel?
Why do kind people become cruel? Under what circumstances does this happen?
How to stop the cruelty in the world? How to change the world for the better?

When the world around begins to seem wrong, and people are too cruel, this is a signal. Not that you need to pout, lock yourself in an apartment, be afraid of everyone around you, be offended or angry. No! This is a signal for action. This is a signal that it is worth changing the world so that it becomes better and kinder.

The sage and the disciple are sitting at the gate of their city. A traveler approaches and asks:

What kind of people live in this city?
- And who lives where you came from? the sage asks.
- Oh, scoundrels and thieves, vicious and depraved ...
“It's the same here,” the sage replied.

After a while another traveler approached and also asked what kind of people were in this city.
- And who lives where you came from? the sage asked.
“They are wonderful people, kind and sympathetic,” the traveler replied.
“You will find the same here,” said the sage.

Why did you say to one that villains live here, and to another - that good people live here? the disciple asked the sage.
“There are good people and bad people everywhere,” the sage answered him. - It's just that everyone finds only what they can.

Each of us at least once in our life has come across the indifference of others. The negative opinion and attitude of another person can be harmful, annoying and even infuriating, but when it is completely absent, this cannot but be alarming. Nobody wants to face aggressive people, but it's hard to deny: they are alive, they have emotions. They can be reassured, and their problems tend to be resolved. But how to react to a person whose gaze expresses nothing, who experiences neither pain nor compassion? The answer is fairly straightforward: be afraid of indifferent people.

It would seem, what is it about them? Gray personalities, to whom even the word "personality" is difficult to apply. Yes, sometimes they are crammed with knowledge, they can easily retell the plot of a book or film, have a hobby - in a word, be like all people ... But try to talk to them. You will lose interest in what they are saying after the very first phrases, because they will be deprived of a simple human relationship.

if a person does not live for himself, i.e. lives for himself, he will not refrain from greed. This is the nature of the soul. Sooner or later, he will want to rip as much money as possible, it's only a matter of time. If a person lives for himself, and he thinks: I will live modestly, to whom I am doing bad, I am a good person, nothing bad to anyone, I just earn, I have a salary, that's it, it's only a matter of time when he becomes greedy. This is the nature of the soul, it is infinite in nature, it cannot stop at what has been achieved. Today is one thing, tomorrow is another. Therefore, there will be no happiness in this, the family lives in peace, it just quietly earns as much as it should, and that's it, no problems.

A moment comes, and you all now remember your lives, someone, many people had it, the family lives in peace, does not bother anyone, lives for itself, honestly earns, a moment comes, and all this happiness collapses due to greed.

Once a day, continuous negativity of various scales seeps into our lives. The media helpfully report who killed, robbed, and knocked down whom. All the time, various sources of information bring to our attention information about new cataclysms, political troubles. And the positive, in comparison with the amount of negative news, is negligible. A memory is created that there are no good and good things left in the world. Unfortunately, this stream “clogged up” the heads so much that now no one even thinks why people are so merciless? How can I change this? And is the modern population of the earth really so soulless?

Main prerequisites

Why are there so many bitter people? The answer to this question should be found in the reasons for the emergence of anger. It should be seen that the manifestation of ruthlessness is quite diverse. With all this, it is easy to identify her. A person who inflicts pain on another, forcing him to suffer, not fundamentally, morally or on a physical level, who is one hundred percent aware of this and seeks to cause harm, is cruel.

Psychologists identify three reasons why people are violent:

  • Dissatisfaction with life... Individuals dissatisfied with their own fate are quite often exposed to stress and depression. These emotions overwhelm their souls so much that they are ready to break free at any moment. That is why all the negativity is often spilled out by mothers on children. Some people, under the influence of anger, break tree branches, beat animals. This spiritual state is quite unsafe, as it threatens the owner with the appearance of neuroses, psychological disorders. In addition to all this, constant negativity seriously shortens life expectancy, leads to the development of heart disease or skin dilemmas.
  • Indifference... Very often it specifically generates unjustified ruthlessness. Some people do not even try to realize how much pain their actions can cause, and sometimes words. They do not think how much they can hurt another. With all this, the object of their mercilessness is a weak creature that cannot show emotions and explain what pain they have caused him.
  • Repressed emotions. From time to time, a person shows anger "on the side". This behavior is typical of those who, in their daily life, are obliged to hide and suppress desires, emotions, impulses at all times. In most cases, such ruthlessness is characteristic of grown-up children (especially boys) who grew up in a family of authoritarian parents. Employees who are obliged to unconditionally do the orders of the boss, not having the ability to reveal their will, in some criteria can show very cruel cruelty.

Historical ruthlessness

The older generation likes to wonder - why are so many violent people appeared? Earlier, everyone was kinder. Listening to their complaints, you involuntarily agree. One has only to open a newspaper or watch the announcements.

Previously, people were kinder. It is worth considering. And earlier - when? Millennia ago, when cannibalism flourished? Well, these people can, in fact, even somehow be justified. They were primitive. And they did not know at all about the human relation to their neighbor. Or maybe those who were in the era of the Inquisition were kinder? Or during the reign of Stalin? A huge number of people sat in jail thanks to denunciations. How many such "good people" from the bottom of their hearts tried to present a "gift" to their neighbor!

Why does the feeling arise that there are so many bitter people now? Naturally, the media did their bit. In the era of democracy, they pay more attention to manifestations of ruthlessness. It must be emphasized that the level of humanity among the world's population has increased, therefore, anger is so very visible.

Business with family

It is common for all people to be ruthless. For some, this happens very rarely. Others quite often show anger. With all this, at least some can commit a fierce act, and quite often such outbreaks occur in really good people. Unfortunately, all the negativity spills out on the closest ones. For those who are really loved and very dear. Why are people so merciless? What compels them to “rip off” their anger at their relatives, and to restrain their outbursts of anger with those around them? Why is it not possible to keep your behavior under control in a conversation with loved ones?

Yes, therefore, that relatives will not go anywhere. Communicating with strangers, a person restrains himself. There are many circumstances: both the eagerness to win over the interlocutor for oneself, and the fear of losing a fascinating friend. In the case of a boss, incontinence can threaten to be fired. But if you get into the circle of relatives, especially in a bad mood, even one word can make a person mad. It was then that a scandal flared up from a completely empty place. Naturally, this is fundamentally incorrect, but the accumulated negative asks for relaxation. That is why it pours out on the closest ones. They, even if they really offend them and quarrel with them, adore them so much that they will forgive them anyway.

Root of evil

The feeling of anger comes from nature. It is necessary in order to mobilize all forces for the struggle in unsafe moments. But how it will be applied by a person depends on the norms of morality instilled in childhood. If the ancestors show anger towards the child, this will certainly come back to haunt. Terror-based affairs between children and fathers are more likely to be adopted by the child in conversation with peers. It is in the family that the root of evil must be found. This upbringing clearly explains why people become bitter.

Although in this situation, the baby may develop a different model of behavior: he decides that he is bad and is to blame for everything. Such a child becomes a victim of the fierce appeal of peers. Often he does not even look for ways of protection, believing that he deserves something similar.

From time to time, the prerequisite for anger may not be violence at all, but overprotection. This way of upbringing brings a sense of permissiveness to the child's subconsciousness. The child imagines himself to be the most basic and asks for unconditional obedience. Unfortunately, a person who is not taught by his parents to respect others will not find this wisdom anywhere else. He will not even see how he humiliates.

Instability in society

An indirect prerequisite for ruthlessness is growing anxiety. Social inequality, inconsistency give rise to a feeling of discomfort. On TV screens, people see again the same ruthlessness. A person, whose psyche is formed, is able to distinguish grain from husk, he will not perceive anger as a call to action. The child, on the other hand, will swallow up, like a sponge, the scenes of violence on the screen. And he can perceive all this as some kind of school of life. It is fundamental to understand how similar television hurts the child's psyche, and the answer to the question: "Why did people become violent?" will be received instantly.

Feelings of rejection

It is especially developed during adolescence. But many adults carry these feelings into adulthood. Quite often, you can follow the picture when the baby loudly exclaims on the street and pokes his finger at a person with a different skin color or having a physical defect.

Adults react very differently. On a subconscious level, they feel a sense of threat. This is where the desire to withdraw from it appears. But for some it manifests itself in ruthlessness and violence. This particular feeling sometimes forces adolescents to scoff at their peers who are different from them. Why are people so merciless? Again, the instilled abilities of tolerance and respect in the family will not allow a child or an adult to behave this way.

How to defend the victim

Psychologists say that in a team it is quite easy to find what kind of people are ruthless and who is a "lamb". Therefore, it is recommended to identify the victim of anger by the following signs:

  • low self-esteem;
  • insecurity within oneself;
  • full acceptance of the notion that the problems are deserved.

One should start with an understanding of one's own "I". Any person has a number of advantages and disadvantages. He is what he is. And no one has the right to offend him. Only by fully accepting this truth, you can move further along the path of raising self-esteem, developing a sense of luck. The ancestors can help the child in this understanding. For an adult, since the pattern of behavior is ingrained, it is better to use the help of a professional psychologist.

Usually, hobby for some new business helps a lot. You can even enroll in a martial arts class.

It is very important to think about the reaction to the offender. He will accept you in a completely different way if the answer is good from his expectations. In some cases, a sense of humor helps. Try not to succumb to annoyance and to put a difficult conflict in the mainstream of a joke. With all this, learn to accept the least nasty situations.

How to deal with your anger?

The prerequisites described above give an idea of ​​why kind people become bitter. But how to deal with such manifestations? What if you start to boil internally?

Exercise perfectly cleanses negativity. After all, sport teaches conscious control over your senses and body. Psychologists often advise to master breathing exercises. It will allow you to control both the body and the spirit.

Find a safe outlet for the accumulated negativity. Express your emotions with a click. Only not to relatives and not to an employee. Shout where necessary. For example, become a specific football fan or attend rock concerts.

By the way, psychologists advise this technique: get up near the steel road in the evening. When the train passes, yell as loudly as you can. The noise of the wheels will drown out any sound. Nobody will hear you, but the body will receive the necessary relaxation.

Conclusion

Remember that only you can control the feeling of ruthlessness that appears within you. And this is quite within your power. If you want to find the answer to the question “why are people so merciless,” start with yourself. Analyze your behavior. Get rid of the poisonous feeling, because at some point it threatens to grow into severe depression.

The harsh truth is that inhuman cruelty is unique to humans. No animal can compare with a person in the strength of manifestations of hatred towards their own kind. Why are people so angry?

Every day in the media, we are confronted with examples of terrible atrocities. Beatings, murders, massacres, torture ...

The guy killed the girl because she laughed at him in the company. 122 blows were found on the victim's body. The examination found that the very first blow was fatal. Psychiatric examination showed the guilt of the culprit.

Where does this inhuman cruelty come from ?!

The harsh truth is that inhuman cruelty is unique to humans. No animal can compare with a person in the strength of manifestations of hatred towards their own kind. Why are people so angry? Let's try to figure it out from a scientific standpoint.

Man is an animal

The German zoopsychologist Konrad Lorenz, the Nobel Prize laureate, was impressed by the horrors of the Second World War and decided to find out the nature of human aggression. As a zoologist and an adherent of evolutionary theory, he decided to start by investigating the nature of aggression in animals. Lorenz found out that all animals have mechanisms of hostile behavior towards representatives of their own species, that is, innate intraspecific aggression, which, as he argues, ultimately serves to preserve the species.

Intraspecific aggression performs a number of important biological functions:

    distribution of living space so that the animal finds food for itself; the animal protects its territory, the aggression stops as soon as the borders are restored;

    sexual selection: only the strongest male gets the right to leave his offspring; in mating battles, the weak is usually not finished off, but driven away;

    protection of offspring from the encroachment of strangers and friends; parents drive away, but do not kill the invaders;

    hierarchical function - determines the system of power and subordination in the community, the weak obeys the strong;

    the function of partnership is coordinated manifestations of aggression, for example, to expel a relative or a stranger;

    the function of feeding is built into the species that live in places with poor food resources (for example, the Balkhash perch eats its own juveniles).

It is believed that the main forms of intraspecific aggression are competitive and territorial aggression, as well as aggression caused by fear and irritation.

Are animals kinder than people?

However, after analyzing the behavior of more than 50 species, Konrad Lorenz noticed that animals with natural weapons in their arsenal in the form of huge horns, deadly canines, strong hooves, strong beaks, etc., have developed behavioral analogues of morality in the process of evolution. It is an instinctual prohibition to use one's natural weaponry against an animal of its own kind, especially when the defeated person demonstrates submission.

That is, an automatic stop system is built into the aggressive behavior of animals, which instantly responds to certain types of poses that indicate dependence and defeat. As soon as the wolf in a fierce fight for the female substitutes the jugular vein in the neck, the second wolf only slightly compresses its mouth, but never bites through to the end. In a battle of deer, as soon as one deer feels weaker, he becomes sideways, exposing the enemy to an unprotected abdominal cavity. The second deer, even in a fighting impulse, only touches the opponent's belly with its horns, stopping at the last second, but not completing the final deadly movement. The stronger the animal's natural weapons, the more clearly the “stop system” works.


And vice versa, poorly armed species of animals do not have instinctive prohibitions on lethal aggression towards their relative, since the harm caused cannot be significant and the victim always has the opportunity to escape. In captivity, when the defeated enemy has nowhere to run, he is guaranteed death from a stronger opponent. In any case, as Konrad Lorenz emphasizes, in the animal kingdom, intraspecific aggression serves solely to preserve the species.

Lorenz considers man to be a naturally weakly armed species, therefore, having no instinctive prohibitions on causing harm to his own kind. With the invention of weapons (stone, ax, gun), man became the most armed species, but evolutionarily devoid of "natural morality", therefore easily killing representatives of his species.

There is one nuance here. We humans, unlike animals, are conscious. This difference is the root of the cruelty of man to man in comparison with the intraspecific aggression of the animal.

Man is an animal that is never enough

System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan says that consciousness was formed gradually as a result of the growth of our shortages. Animals do not have such a volume of desires as humans do, they are completely balanced and in this they are perfect in their own way.

A person always wants more. More than he has, more than he can get, and if he got it, then more than he can eat. Lack is when “I want, but I cannot get”, “I want, but cannot”. This lack gave an opportunity for the development of thought, which became the beginning of the separation from the animal state, the beginning of the development of consciousness.

Dislike as an engine of progress

System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan claims that man, unlike animals, feels his own uniqueness, separateness from the other.

For a long time experiencing hunger and not being able to fill it (our species was the weakest in the savannah - without claws, teeth, hooves), a person for the first time felt his neighbor as an object that can be consumed in oneself, for food. However, having arisen, this desire was immediately limited. In the delta between the desire to use one's neighbor in oneself and the restriction on this desire, a feeling of hostility to the other is born.

But that's not all, once breaking out of the animal volume, our desires continue to grow. They double. Today they bought a Zaporozhets - tomorrow they wanted a foreign car, today they bought a foreign car - tomorrow they wanted a Mercedes. This simple example shows that a person is never content with what he has received.

Our ever-growing desire to receive constantly leads to an increase in dislike. Lorenz proved that animals have an intraspecific unconscious coordinated instinct that does not allow intraspecific aggression to destroy the species. For humans, intraspecific hostility still poses a threat to survival - as it is constantly growing. At the same time, it is also for us and is an incentive for development. It is in order to limit hostility that we first created the law, then culture and morality.

Why are people so angry? Because they are people!

Man is a lack of pleasure, desire. Our desires are not satisfied - we immediately feel dislike. Mom didn't buy ice cream: “Bad mom!”. The woman does not meet my expectations: "Bad woman!" I feel bad, I don't know what I want: “Everyone is bad. The world is cruel and unjust! " It is not in vain that moral and cultural norms are instilled in a child from early childhood. Mutual help, empathy, empathy for others help us cope with our selfish desires for pleasure.


Today our desires continue to grow, and the existing constraints stop working on them. Skin law and visual culture have almost worked for themselves. Today we are rapidly dashing into the future, where a person is no longer moral (since his desires are too high to be limited by morality and ethics), but not yet spiritual. Today we are ready to eat anyone, use the whole world, if only we feel good, real troglodytes - but this does not mean degradation. This is another step in our growth, the answer to which should be the emergence of new level restraints.

The path from animal to human

The system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan says that in the conditions of increased desires and increased hostility, no restrictions on hostility will work anymore. Our coexistence in the future will be built not on prohibitions, but on the complete disappearance of hostility as such.

In contrast to the awareness of one's uniqueness and the other as an object for saturating one's shortcomings, systemic thinking gives an awareness of another person as oneself, as well as an awareness of the integrity of the human species. This is a new level of consciousness, much higher than the intraspecific animal unconscious instinct. This is the awareness of oneself as a part of all humanity and the awareness of another person as a part of oneself. And, as a consequence, the inability to harm another. Just as a person cannot intentionally harm himself, so he cannot harm another, because his pain will feel like his own.

In fact, people are not evil and not at all worse than animals, people are just not mature enough. We have grown so mentally that we have invented the hadron collider, but have not yet matured to realize ourselves. Daily outbursts of aggression, violation of all norms of morality and ethics at the level of entire states are evidence that the time has come.

And it is easier to stop aggression than it seems at first glance. You just need to see the root causes of what is happening and eliminate them. To understand that the picture of the world around us with cruelty, murder, crime is the result of the fact that each of us considers himself the only one and feels only our desires. And for the sake of my "want" I am even ready to kill, if need be. But the paradox is that even this will not fill a person with happiness. Neither the one who shows aggression nor the one against whom it is directed can actually feel joy, and will be equally unhappy.

This can be corrected by realizing the true desires and capabilities of each of us. Understanding the inner potential of a person and his intentions, we will be able to clearly understand what can be expected from our environment and how to most adequately manifest ourselves among others. When we deeply understand another person and the motives of his actions from the inside, we do not become victims of unexpected aggression, because people's actions become easily predictable and predictable. Moreover, we can consciously choose our environment in which we will feel comfortable and safe. It would be ideal if every person in the world could do this and everyone would be happy, but even if this is still far away, then you should start with yourself.

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The article was written based on the training materials “ System-vector psychology»