Rhetorical questions about love. Questions about love and relationships

2 chose

When a relationship is just beginning, each of us, like a girl, is tormented by questions over and over again: What to say? What to wear? To call or not to call? What does he think? How will he react? Everything has been discussed with her friends a billion times, but not everyone can ask him frankly without fear of scaring (or hearing the truth?).
We asked four quite ordinary men some frank questions that interest most women. And calmly listened to their answers. There is something to note here. Men were not cunning, but, reading their opinions and destroying some stereotypes, do not rush to create new ones. All men, like all women, are very different. And everyone is looking for the main thing - understanding.

Our heroes:

Sergey, 27 years old, businessman. Divorced, lives in a civil marriage.
Matchmaker Dossier: Manages to combine two rare qualities: ambition in business and love of homebody. He prefers to work at home, "in the nest," so to speak. He is ready to solve all family problems on his own, but appreciates women's advice. The character is soft, pliable. Average growth, a little overweight.
Peter, 30 years old, journalist, teacher. He is married and has a daughter.
Matchmaker dossier: Gifted with a developed imagination, romantic, has a subtle sense of humor. He extols women and, as a true knight of the feather and heart, is ready to serve and worship them. But, rather, he hovers in romantic dreams than is really ready to “go left”. Modest, patient, gentle. High growth.
Vladimir, 36 years old, art director. A widower, raising a son.
Matchmaker Dossier: Metrosexual. Moderately selfish, but also romantic at the same time. He is looking for his beautiful "lady of the heart" and in the process sincerely loves all the pretty women. Oster on the tongue, frank, decisive. As a person of a creative profession, strives for self-realization, likes to have fun. High growth.
Andrey, 44 years old, businessman. Divorced.
Matchmaker dossier: Self-confident, purposeful. He has a wide range of interests, travels a lot, is engaged in various sports, maintains a wide circle of acquaintances. Resolute, restrained, knows how to listen to people, but in everything he relies only on himself. Medium height, thin, athletic.

Our questions

10. Perfect sex ...

1. Do men prefer younger girls?
There are those who are looking younger, there are those who are looking smarter. In terms of the everyday mind, not higher education. If a man has established himself as a person, he is looking for a woman equal to himself, a woman “partner”.
Yes. Looking for fresh skin and firm softness. But we are ready to see the beauty of experience and tranquility in 30-40-year-olds, to appreciate the smile of understanding. This is even more important than skin and firmness. Do not forgive bitchiness in middle-aged (after 30) women - never.
I like sexy women, but certainly young ones are no longer needed. It is pleasant to look at youngsters, to sleep with them is no longer. Not interested. My age range is 25 to 45.

Of course. Draws to beauty, to fit forms. Attracts youth, gaiety, naivety, childishness. Gentlemen prefer blondes also because they behave directly like children. I want to take care of youth, prompt, lead.
The peers are overloaded with their thoughts, problems, they analyze the relationship "from and to", draw analogies, play for time, thinking. And in love, spontaneity, impulse are important. What happens next is the third question. A flash is always much more interesting than some kind of logical decision: here, we go, eat, take a walk, come, lie down and it will happen ...

2. Are men scared off by smart women?
I'm not there. There is intelligence, and there is boring. They scare off women who are too qualified in something and constantly talk about it, they suppress. Attracts a woman who is smart "in life", not a woman-genius, but a woman-man.
Not always. Scared off, I would say, are incomprehensible women. And incomprehensible actions can arise not only from a great mind ...
Smart men - no, fools, probably yes. It's another matter if a woman begins to “push” with her intellect. I remember Klara Novikova joking: “How smart does it take to seem like a complete fool? And how much you need to be a fool to pretend to be smart ... ”A woman should be able to stop talking in time. The mind is not in erudition, but in the ability to "read" a man, to understand him. And the man will reciprocate.

Yes, intellectuals scare away. They begin to be clever, to give assessments and definitions: this is so, and this is not so. A man doesn't need that. He wants to be the smartest, to lead, to make the last decision. And smart women do not just encroach, but win all these rights in the struggle, suppress men, turning them into house slippers. And then they themselves are also surprised.

3. How should a woman dress?
Good, expensive, varied. She must value her image, her clothes, and has the right to demand from a man that all this be paid for. To be, if not in fashion, then in style.
Too much frankness pisses me off. It is important that the clothes fit.
Skirts, trousers, low-cut blouses, classic jackets, sweaters - everything is beautiful if everything is in place. To the place - it means that it creates an image. I don't think it's worth talking about all sorts of absurdities like when a girl with an imperfect figure puts on tight jeans and a tank top.
Sometimes women dress as if they have a powder mirror hanging in their house, in which they can see only one of their eyes. I don't need a neckline or miniskirt. Beautiful breasts are visible even in a turtleneck: you can't throw mud at the sun. Clothes should fit the woman. In addition, a woman's self-confidence is important. And sometimes she walks beautiful, but some slouching, notorious, dressed in something gray ... And that's all - no longer interesting ...

Classically - skirts, dresses, hairpins, manicure. A woman should have a sense of style. No, you don't have to be naked. If you get naked, you will attract the same males. I like women with sophisticated feminine looks. With manners as soft as water. Women who radiate calmness in everything - in their clothes, in their eyes - and at the same time confident in themselves.

4. Ideal female proportions ...
Lack of breasts is bad, excessive size is bad, the same with hips. Harmony is important. I do not like thin, thin and small. A hundredweight is too much. I like it a little more than average.
I really like it when the female forms fit comfortably in my hands, when it is convenient to hug my shoulders or waist with my hand. If this is not possible, you need to compensate for the deficiencies with the proportions of the heart (laughs). I'm attracted to skinny ones. And plump too. Not necessarily 90-60-90, you can also 90-70-100, for example.
Long neck, thin shoulders, 3rd or 4th breast size, waist, nice hips, tight ass, long legs ...

One blonde says to another: "I recently learned what 90-60-90 is." - "Oh, what is it?" - "240".
Ideal guitar figure: narrow waist relative to the hips, proportional feminine ass and chest. And, of course, below me. However, not all of my women were exactly like that, although beauty is very important to me. But it is more important if it is easy and comfortable for you to communicate with a woman. I myself, in general, am not a tall handsome man and, of course, there is no certainty that a beautiful woman will stay with me for a long time ... And I will have to keep an eye on the beautiful one too ...

5. Should a woman be able to cook well?
In a metropolis, there is often no time for cooking, and you can always have a tasty meal in a cafe. But this is rather an excuse. If you live in a small town - no options: a woman should be able to cook. And in general, it’s just a shame if she doesn’t know how. And you don't know how.
The ability to cook well is a consequence. An intelligent, kind, loving woman cannot but learn to be a good housewife. But that’s later. In a few years.
Yes, definitely. If the food at home is not tasty, then there is no home comfort. I don't want to come to such a house.

Not necessarily good, but should be able to. Well, and not rubbish, of course. Food by itself does not evoke love. But when a man is full, he begins to think about everything else: about her hands, her body, about talking, looking into her eyes, and so on.

6. What is the most annoying behavior of women?
When women do full war paint makeup, wherever they go and whatever they do. It is especially annoying when cosmetics are inappropriate or need to get out of the house quickly. And I also don’t understand why you need to buy so much cosmetics when you only use 20%.
I am no longer small, and I have learned to see a person in my woman. She relies on me for her weaknesses and weaknesses, in the hope that I will help her cope with them and improve. Therefore, nothing is annoying. In others - infuriates, infuriates, infuriates coquetry. This is a misunderstanding that you are not a painted fool, but a person. I hate it very much.
Obsession. All these sms: “Why don’t you write, don’t call? You forgot me?" This is terribly annoying and repulsive. Well, he just started spinning, forgot to put money on the phone, hung up at the meeting. Excessive and inappropriate talkativeness is unpleasant. It is unbearable when you are publicly insulted or humiliated.

It is unpleasant to realize that a woman is frankly interested in your status, to feel how she calculates and measures the benefit in her mind. You can directly hear the clicking of the calculator buttons. This immediately lowers the degree of interest.
I do not like it when women refuse to admit the fact that they should always look good, be well-groomed and tastefully dressed.
The most repulsive in women is masculine behavior and harshness.
It is also unpleasant for a woman to constantly control you. Out of self-doubt and instead of figuring out the reasons why a man wants to leave home, with her screams she wants to suppress the desire to go anywhere at all. It is much easier to take the position of the victim than to simply put yourself in order.

7. What should a woman never say to a man?
About other men. Just not worth it. You can seriously ruin a relationship by using an ex as an example.
A woman should not humiliate a man, even if he is really a complete schmuck. Suffice it to say that they are not on their way.
Criticism is possible, but you need to be able to present it. Let this be a proposal to change, and not a mountain of reproaches that hurt pride.

A woman should tell a man everything, even that which hurts his pride. It's all about intonation. I am a philologist, and I know that the main part of the meaning of a statement is conveyed not by words, but by intonation. It all depends on what kind of feeling is put into the words, and not the words themselves.
At least I would like to know everything she thinks of me. The question is not what she should say or not, but her feelings for me. In love with me.
Should not arrange scenes of jealousy. Especially unfounded. A guy can walk to the side. But if this did not happen, or even happened, but he was not caught, all these reprimands and tantrums very much hit the pride and destroy the relationship. I think that if you are together, you need to trust each other.

Should not cut: "I told you, I warned you ... Once you came to visit as normal people, and then you managed to get drunk like a pig ..." Sometimes they do it not because you really deserve it, but for prevention.
You can't criticize a man. Women's wisdom is to gently lead a man to a solution to the problem, to make the person want to change. The best way is to lead by example. If you want him to lose weight, do not eat yourself at night, sign up for the gym, start jogging in the morning. Good examples are just as contagious as bad ones.

8. If a woman earns more ...
It is unpleasant. But, rather, it is unpleasant that at the moment you cannot earn more. It's not a problem for me if I know that the situation will change soon. If you perceive a woman as an equal to yourself, then her success makes her strive upward. If a woman reproaches this, then yes, it becomes a serious test.
I am happy for her, for us. And I'm looking for a new job. I’m not nervous, I don’t drink.
It's good. On this score, I have no complexes. But on condition that the woman will not reproach me with this. I enjoy my job, and I will not change it to earn more. If a woman has a talent for making money and she likes it, I will not interfere. And since it is absolutely necessary that someone sit at home and cook borscht, I can do it too.

It doesn't matter if you are a family ... A woman should be wise. It is important how she behaves at the same time, how she puts herself, what role she pretends to. Of course, we are not talking about a situation when a man is lying on the couch. To be honest, the successful women I have met have been too masculine. I didn't want to have a close relationship with them.

9. Are men monogamous or polygamous?
I am monogamous, but I will not speak for everyone. I still have all thoughts about one woman.
I believe that I am both monogamous and polygamous at the same time. I have no desire to crawl into bed with other women, but I am happy to communicate with other women heart to heart. Under certain conditions, I could have sex-love with them, but I can’t, and I don’t want to.
Polygamous. And although I can truly love only one woman, at the same time my eyes will always squint at other people's asses. And if suddenly a safe option for the family arises, in which my woman does not know anything, I will use the opportunity. And most men will do the same.

Polygamous, and I, in particular. Climbing a hillock, looking around, picking more victims and hunting is the essence of a man. There are monogamous men. I think their percentage is 20. But there are those who become monogamous if they find a woman who is completely satisfied with them, and how not to hunt - you will not find more seductive prey.

10. Perfect sex ...
Perfect sex is like the first time with this woman. When you don't really know it yet, you study it, try to be better. Every time I try to repeat it later.
For me in sex, intimacy is important - physical intimacy as a continuation of the soul, spiritual. She should belong to me without a trace and accept me the same way. Sometimes just hugs, the touch of naked bodies mean more than inventive, technical sex. In general, love is the most important thing for me in sex.
This is sex without boundaries. Full access to everything (again, by mutual will). In sex, there should be absolutely everything and no constraints. If you have sex, then selflessly. Disconnect the brain - and go.

One that satisfies both. It can be fast or long - different. And it is very important to see that the woman is just awesome, just as good as you. It makes you feel like a man.

They have been talking and writing about it for more than one millennium. They argue whether it really exists and whether it is really impossible to live without it. And what do you think?

21:26 1.10.2012

Love, according to the once popular song, comes exactly when you don't expect it. She regularly visits Olya: when I hear her excited “I fell in love!” On the phone again, I can easily predict how events will develop further. First, Olya, with a loud scandal, will break off relations with her next husband (it seems, the fifth in a row), then for several months she will flutter, glowing with happiness. And then disappointment will appear in her eyes, and in conversations - complaints about the "callousness" and "indifference" of the still so recently adored man. Until Olya finds a new object of passion. And so on ad infinitum. A friend only makes a helpless gesture: they say, I have nothing to do with it, just the wrong men come across ... Olya cannot understand: if her relationships with different men are built according to the same scenario, then for sure she is the author of the "performance ". Why it happens? Psychologists argue that excessive falling in love can have several reasons. Let's take a closer look at them and try to find a compromise between feelings and reason.

Why do we choose this particular man?

Of course not. Even if each acquaintance seems to us the result of a chain of unforeseen coincidences, in our souls there is always a certain set of criteria that we cannot formulate consciously, but which nevertheless determine our choice.
According to French psychologist Jean-Claude Kaufmann, everyone is like a hermit crab. Our personality is sentenced to eternal seclusion in the shell, and the only chance to get out of it is to trust a loved one ... to reinvent each other.
Love is a subtle matter. Sigmund Freud was the first to express the idea that we only meet those who already exist in our subconscious. “Finding an object of love ultimately means finding it again” - this is how the law of mutual attraction of different people could be formulated. Marcel Proust means the same when he says that first we draw a person in our imagination and only then we meet him in real life.

3 reasons for our choice:

Unconscious attachment: An archaic ideal lives inside everyone since childhood, which guides us in search of our alter ego.
... Narcissistic quest: We are looking for a human-like partner that we would like to become ourselves.
... Search for Oedipus: He attracts us because it corresponds to our idea of one of the parents, or, conversely, is sharply different from him.

Today we put too much hope in relationships, we want them to be perfect, perfect. Perhaps that is why we are looking for a partner who looks like a person who has everything that we would wish for for ourselves. In other words, we are looking for a mirror that reflects a positive image of ourselves. This is exactly what 28-year-old Veronica felt when she met Alexander: “He was beautiful: rich, confident in himself, always cheerful. He had everything that I lacked so much, and most importantly, he had a family, a father and a mother, which I could only dream of in my orphanage. I thought: since such a wonderful person loves me, it means that I really am worth something. "
The unification of people is often based on the principle of similarity, sometimes complete. It is to him that the narcissistic personality strives, choosing as a partner a person who resembles himself not only internally, but also externally, and sometimes even with the same name. “A narcissistic person wants his partner to talk to him about one thing, to experience the same feelings,” says Jungian psychologist Stanislav Raevsky, “but, on the other hand, he wants to be constantly praised and recognized as unusual. When two such people start living together, mutual demands and jealousy eventually destroy their relationship. "

In his book "The Family and How to Survive in It," the English psychiatrist and psychotherapist Robin Skinner argues that people are often united by common complexes. People with similar complexes are grouped together, thus feeding their own problems and cultivating them in each other. And until a person is aware of the game he is playing, he will act out the scenario of the same relationship.

From the point of view of classical psychoanalysis, in a mature relationship, the partner correlates with the images of our parents - either with a plus sign or with a minus sign. He attracts us so much because with his qualities he reminds (or, conversely, denies) the images of a father or mother. This choice is called "the search for Oedipus." Moreover, even if we deliberately try to choose a “non-parent” - a woman who is not like a mother, a man who is not like a father, this means the urgency of the internal conflict and the desire to resolve it “by contradiction”. The image of a partner may not coincide with our real father or mother, but with that unconscious idea of them, which we developed in infancy.

Who chooses whom?

It is not for nothing that the people invented a saying, they say, if a woman does not want, he, that is, a man, will not jump up ... So, what? They think that they choose us, but in fact we choose. We choose, and then we give a signal - they say, come on, start conquering, I'm ready ... And ... he begins to "take an impregnable fortress", which has long decided everything about this particular man for herself, chose a dress for a wedding, places in a kindergarten and booked a school for future children ...

How do we affect a man, and so imperceptibly that sometimes we ourselves do not even realize that the signal has already been sent? ..
Everything is programmed by nature. Scientists have proven that a woman, by smell, which she herself can physically not catch, scans a man for suitability for reproducing joint offspring. If nature tells her: "good", non-verbal mechanisms of information transfer are used. The woman begins to flirt with the indicated individual, uncharacteristically for her usual demeanor to shoot with her eyes, to defiantly move her hip towards the selected individual ... In a word, there is a lot to do. However, due to some mistake of nature, this does not always work. What to do? The body screams: "Here it is, the manufacturer, grab it, hold it!" And some signals seem to be given ... But the male, oh, sorry, the man - is not being played! Well, nature also has its own miscalculations, you shouldn't rely on it too much. We turn on the heritage of civilization - intelligence, and proceed to the cultural seduction of the chosen individual. And for this, an educated woman has a lot of ways, each of which, like an Amazon shot, strikes right on target!

A man should remember one simple rule: they do not choose us, but we choose them. They only offer themselves. And this is a fact. No matter how cheerful, handsome and rich a man is, he will not achieve anything from a woman if she does not want it. He, of course, has more chances to get to know each other, but they can also "turn off" him with the same probability as an inconspicuously dressed and notorious bore. The taste and color, as they say ... The rule is one and simple - even men themselves admit it - a woman decides whether she wants you or not even before a man decides to approach her and speak.

Are there people who do not know how to love and how natural is it?

In India, since ancient times, love was represented in the form of the unity of three drives: the body evoked passion, the spirit - friendship, and the mind - respect. These three components interact, nourishing and strengthening each other. If even one of the three drives disappears, love weakens. If at least one attraction is initially absent, very rarely strong feelings arise.
Someone can call a short relationship love, although his partner will remember the relationship only as a resort romance. In such cases, the body most often plays a major role. Or rather, hormones that will take care of the chemistry of the senses and increase libido.
But spirit and respect are often present as attraction between a man and a woman in the social sphere, for example, at work or in a company. And sex is sometimes not considered because of the unwillingness to destroy the friendship.

When at least one of the components of love is absent in a relationship between two people, it is not worth arguing that it is not natural for a person to love at all. So, for example, everyone has an example of how ordinary working relationships over time developed into more serious ones, and employees started a family.
If we move away from the Indian philosophy of love, then there are no people who do not know how to love. And this is explained precisely by our natural characteristics, the natural mechanisms of the body. Because millions of years ago we appeared not only to hunt mammoths and conquer lands, but also to think about procreation. And when today a woman thinks about a career, and a man dreams of buying a new car, nature confronts completely different people, and then not numbers and plans are formed in the mind, but the desire to be together. Is this not the chemistry of feelings? When we define our person at the level of smell. We listen to his timbre of voice. And we love only his eye color.

Although many researchers argue that our feelings are just the action of hormones. What can we say about love, even if happiness depends on the normal level of dopamine, endorphin, serotonin and other chemical elements that allow you to either perceive the world as a black and white movie, or enjoy every day.
Therefore, do not invent, claiming that "this or that man is not capable of love." Able, but probably not you.

Platonic relationships, can they be called love?

From the title it is clear that the case was not without the romantic Plato. However, in his definition of love, the philosopher went even further, pointing out that it can be different, namely, earthly and spiritual. The earthly one is constantly looking for bodily expression: passion, intimacy, sexual satisfaction and other pleasures. And the spiritual, or platonic, arises between people who need to know about each other's existence, keep in touch and share the most intimate.

Is this really how Plato represented love (after all, in ancient times, women and men not only grew olives, but also fell in love, gave birth to children) or the sources are deceiving us, but there are plenty of examples of platonic relationships! And most often they develop in correspondence.
For example, between Pyotr Tchaikovsky and a music lover and philanthropist Nadezhda von Meck. A wealthy woman has helped talented musicians for many years. Among them was Pyotr Tchaikovsky, then still a poor professor at the Moscow Conservatory. Thanks to the financial support and personal request of Nadezhda Filaretovna, the composer quit his job and devoted his time to music.

Soon the courteous-official tone of the correspondence took on a warmer tone. Tchaikovsky began to share with Nadezhda Filaretovna his doubts and considerations about leaving music behind. But the patron asks not to pay attention to criticism and continue to compose music. She supported the genius in every possible way, instilled faith in his talent, enjoyed discussing the composer's works and admired Tchaikovsky.
Their correspondence lasted 14 years, until the death of the composer. However, they never saw each other. Despite the fact that Nadezhda von Meck was a socialite, a wealthy woman and far from a recluse, she warned Tchaikovsky in advance about the impossibility of meeting and getting to know him better.
The composer's marriage only temporarily broke their correspondence. But very soon he realized that he could not live without his Muse, to whom he dedicated the Fourth Symphony. The woman he had never met turned out to be closer and dearer to his young wife.
What is this if not love? Platonic.

And if they met, who knows, maybe everything worked out ...
However, two other "kindred" souls became possible not only for sensual correspondence, but also for a long-awaited meeting. But sitting opposite each other, they could not find the right words. As a result, a sluggish conversation about literature, crumpled phrases, half-drunk coffee on the table ... That evening it became clear that neither Boris Pasternak nor Marina Tsvetaeva needed this meeting.
Perhaps Planton was right after all. Indeed, in the case of Tchaikovsky, the composer and the patron had enough spiritual relations. And the meeting between Tsvetaeva and Pasternak confirmed the impossibility of bodily intimacy.

What are the vibes of love?

Increased sensitivity and ability to notice any little things. Men often make fun of these traits of ours. But we look at them even more often than they look at us. And what is our vaunted intuition worth, which allows, as soon as you enter a room, to give a description of everyone sitting in it? And a cunning move is to defiantly look in the other direction, pretending not to notice the man (by the way, they think so). In fact, at this moment the woman has already made an opinion about you. It may not be entirely true, but close enough to the truth. And she already figured out what to answer if you suddenly decide to come up and speak to her. For the most part, women do not stand like idols, waiting for the actions of men. They, as a rule, start signaling to the man (sometimes without even realizing it), reminding the traffic light: someone is green, someone is yellow, and someone is red: in other words, a woman simply will not give you a chance and opportunity to approach - which means she is not interested in you at all.

How long does love live?

Why does it pass?

Why do I often fall in love?

If this state of affairs does not suit you, try to find the true reason for your hyper-love.

- Hormones are raging
They say that love is evil, you will fall in love and ... you yourself know who. I want to argue: love is not evil, in blind desire. Yes, yes, that very primitive lust that throws us into the arms of the first comer. After waking up after a stormy night, you finally turn on your brains. Christmas tree-sticks, you think, and how did I manage to do this ?! And you come up with an ideal "excuse": I fell in love! And you piously begin to believe in it ... Such incidents happen to us at any time of the year, but most often in the spring.

Where is he, my ideal?
At seventeen, we hope that our Knight is about to appear on the horizon without fear or reproach. On a white horse, smart, kind, generous - in general, ideal. We even draw in our imagination a picture of a joyful meeting with the chosen one. But then we discover one strange thing: the clever Vovka is terribly boring, the kind Cyril is spineless, and the generous Sergei is still Don Juan. And everyday wisdom comes to us: any living person has his own shortcomings. True, such a simple thought does not comprehend everyone, some are able to live their whole life, waiting for that one and only. Every time you fall in love not with a real person, but with an invented image, over time you experience disappointment: after all, an ordinary man does not "pull" the cinematic Superman in any way! But middle-aged Assol is not going to give up: perhaps the next one will turn out to be the hero of her novel!

Sweet flour
Love gives us an unforgettable experience that is akin to drug intoxication.
Light euphoria, a feeling of lightness, a constant smile on the lips - who doesn't want to experience these emotions again and again! True, some masochist-minded ladies are attracted not so much by positive experiences as by ... the torment and torment that she will experience in a love affair. For example, there are women who, with enviable consistency, fall in love with married people, bitter drunkards or inveterate egoists. They take pleasure in the opportunity to suffer, to revel in their grief. Stable, even relationships without dramas seem insipid and boring to them. Apparently, the whole point is in a depleted emotional life: you want so much adrenaline to boil in your blood, so that passions rage around your person! There is an emotional dependence on the state of falling in love

Struggling with their complexes
One woman I know to the question "Why do you constantly leave your men?" answers like this: "It is always better to be the one who quits than the one who was thrown!" That is, she is sure in advance that the relationship is doomed to failure. The roots of such an opinion should be sought in childhood: perhaps the parents inspired the girl that she was ugly or worthless, or in her youth the young man abandoned her, accusing her of all mortal sins: she was both non-sexual, they say, stupid, and her legs were crooked ... And she concluded: a strong relationship does not "shine" for ugly girls like her. Although life proves the opposite: surely not all of her girlfriends are written beauties or Einsteins in a skirt. However, each of them found her soul mate, a man who fell in love with her for who she is.

Why am I still not in love?

Curable, but in most cases it is a complex psychotherapeutic process. The point is, after all, in a special personality. The fact that this person does not know how to love is only the tip of the iceberg. There is something else behind this. The inability to romantic love is, strictly speaking, a disease. Because a tail of problems follows her, for example, the inability to overcome neurotic complexes, a lack of sexuality. Strictly speaking, this is a severe neurotic disorder with which women often turn to specialists. And men walk like that. It often happens that the inability to idealize, criticality and vulnerability disappear with age. Especially in men. And a person truly falls in love at 35 years old. And all the sex, all the hobbies that were before that seem vulgar idiocy against the background of this feeling.

Polygamy or promiscuity?

Monogamous marriage emerged in a civilized, economic society. Scientists, rejecting morality for the sake of truth, adamantly insist: treason cannot be considered a deviation from the rule, it is a universal constant, since polygamy is genetically inherent in both men and women. Polygamy is based on a harsh biological law. It manifests itself in the same way in the behavior of humans, titmice or sea animals. Males are concerned with passing on their genes to the largest offspring, and use as many females of their species as possible for this purpose. Females start the same maneuver in order to control whether a more representative partner has appeared on the "gene market" promising an improvement in the quality of offspring.

In all likelihood, it is time for a person to realize that the loyalty of spouses to the grave is good as an ethical ideal, but the biology of life includes polygamy. "The composition of the earth knows no dirt." Biochemists can name by name the range of substances that determine normal human physiology: some push us to seek change, others to repeat the already familiar joys.
There are special regions in the brain that are responsible for sexual and emotional behavior. Here, at the subconscious level, chemical "factories of the senses" work according to the genetic program. Someone is literally genetically programmed for treason, someone has less “left thrust”.

Is there life without sex?

An electronic tomograph shows that if a man is asked to “not think about anything,” he begins to focus on sex or football. When the male brain is resting, the most active are the temporo-frontal lobes, which are responsible for automatic, unconscious actions - this is why men so often commit impulsive and aggressive actions. What happens in women? Even alone with themselves, during rest, women often conduct mental conversations in the form of a monologue or dialogue. This means that women generally show higher activity of the logical system of the brain.
All seductive substances are produced by the brain. Two hormones - vasopressin and oxytocin - regulate the stability of bonds, set, so to speak, a loyalty program. The interaction of another "sweet couple" - testosterone and estrogen (male and female sex hormones) - pushes a person on the path of "sin". Testosterone and estrogen are produced in different, however, quantities in both the male and female body. In a man's body, both of these hormones are constantly produced, so a man is always "ready to cheat".

Does love at first sight exist?

Is jealousy a sign of love?

Jealousy is a negative feeling that occurs when there is a perceived lack of attention, love, respect or sympathy on the part of a very valued, first of all beloved, person, while someone else gets it imaginary or really from him.
A chronic tendency towards jealousy is called jealousy. It is generally considered a negative trait and even associated with illness. If a valued person is not involved in the situation, envy takes place.

Jealousy is, in most cases, an exclusive claim to "possession" of another person with whom there is an emotional connection. Jealousy arises when this claim is perceived or actually questioned by the person, which causes a strong, sometimes irrational fear of losing him. Jealousy can move a person to harsh, including violent, actions.

In a child, jealousy arises when it seems to him that his parents are paying more attention to his brothers or sisters. In adults, the cause of jealousy can be, for example, flirting or too warm conversation between a partner and another person, which can be perceived as a danger to their own relationships with him. While childhood jealousy tends to disappear when it receives a certain amount of parental attention, a jealous partner requires unlimited, exclusive attention.

Why are successful people loved more?

Unrequited love: what is it?

Psychologists say jealousy is nothing more than a sense of ownership. Which, as you know, has nothing to do with love. Is it so? In addition, in some ways jealousy is an infantile feeling. And it is associated with a sense of intense rivalry. By the way, many jealous people are those who themselves have repeatedly changed their half. And thus they project their guilt onto another. Even Shakespeare, using Othello's example, warned: jealousy will not lead to good. By controlling all of his actions, you will only develop in him the desire to break free from excessive custody. Feeling a lot of pressure, the husband will want only one thing - to break free. And what is the best way to prove to himself that he is a free man, and God forbid, not henpecked? Correctly, going to the left. Treason out of principle and in opposition to an overly annoying half. At the same time, Trusting your loved one and giving him freedom, thereby you only bind him more tightly to yourself.
In a child, jealousy arises when it seems to him that his parents are paying more attention to his brothers or sisters. In adults, the cause of jealousy can be, for example, perceived as a danger to their own relationships with him. While childhood jealousy tends to disappear when a certain portion of the parents' attention is received, jealous, flirting or too warm conversation between a partner and another person, which may require a partner to receive unlimited, exclusive attention.

If you are thinking about what questions you can ask a guy about love and relationships, then you are in the right place. However, to begin with, let's look at a few rules about which questions are appropriate and which are not very good.

What questions don't you need to ask?

Don't ask the guy about yourself. Also, don't include strong, inappropriate compliments in your questions. Thus, instead of effectively developing the conversation with the guy, you will lower your importance in his eyes.

Examples of such inappropriate questions:

#1 Am I beautiful?

#2 How does it feel to be the most attractive guy in town?

#3 How would you rate my appearance from one to ten?

Questions should be asked purposefully. For example, to get the necessary and useful information from a guy. Or so that your communication comes out on a burning topic.

Now you know what questions about love and relationships you can ask a guy. You can also come up with your own original questions. Think about what exactly you want to know from your interlocutor. Good luck!

Asking a girl questions about love and relationships, you can make a lot of mistakes: most of these questions put you in the position of needy, and the girl will quickly lose interest in the guy.

What questions shouldn't you ask?

You shouldn't ask a girl about yourself. And also express a strong inappropriate compliment to the girl. This shows his insecurity and, at the same time, a great interest in her. There are many questions that will immediately lower your status in the eyes of a girl.

Examples of such questions:

#1 Am I sexy?

#2 How does it feel to be the most beautiful girl in town?

#3 What grade will you give me on a ten-point scale?

You need to ask a girl for a purpose. For example, get to know her better. Understand how she relates to certain things. Or bring the conversation to a specific topic.

30 interesting questions about love and relationships

Do you have unfulfilled dreams? Tell about them
What would you choose: career or love?
If I cheated on you, would you forgive me?
Would you be able to date a guy if you knew you could never sleep with him?
What is love from your point of view?
Do you believe in true love?
What will you give me for February 23rd?
What do you usually think about before bed?
Do you believe in love at first sight?
When was the first time you kissed?
Fall in love many times in your life?
What's the best compliment you've ever received?
How many children do you want?
Have you ever confessed your love?
Did you take the initiative in meeting a guy?
Do you believe in friendship between a guy and a girl?
What would you do if you turned into a guy for one day?
What do you mean by the concept of "ideal man"?
Who cheats more often: boys or girls?
Do you think having sex in zero gravity is great?
Suffering from unrequited love?
Ever cheated on your boyfriend?
Do you like romantics? What is the most?
Did you go out on a date at night?
Money can buy relationships: what do you think about this?
Do you like giving gifts or receiving more?
What qualities would you like to see in a loved one?
Do you believe in horoscopes?
How do you behave if you like a guy?
Can you easily compromise after a fight with a young man?

These are the 30 questions you can ask a girl about love and relationships. After reading them, you can also come up with your own original ones, which better correlate with the situation in communication. Good luck!

Love Questions: Just interesting and philosophical questions about love. Difficult love questions with wise answers.

Even the smartest person gets lost when they fall in love. Love is a kind of mischievous woman, a great craftswoman to fool people's heads. Love turns a person's world upside down and turns it upside down. If before the period of Love a woman or a man firmly believed in something, they had their own principles, then with the arrival of a feeling of Love in their hearts, all their principles and beliefs lose any meaning. So, Love has come, the bud of the most sensual feeling has blossomed. What's next? How to live and what to be guided by, if the old beliefs have faded into oblivion, and there are no new ones yet?
In fact, everything is very simple. We are not the first to fall in love, lose our heads, go crazy, get jealous, get mad, break up, get back together, forgive, change, get disappointed, fall in love again, get married ... We are not the last, but we are not the first either. Before us and our Love, so many people and generations have passed through this high feeling - Love, that smart people of our time can only rely on their own intuition and the wise experience of their predecessors, who also loved, were jealous, experienced separation ...
So, in this short article we will ask difficult, pressing questions about love, and will also give them simple, interesting, philosophical answers about love in a somewhat figurative, allegorical form - with the help of wise phrases and expressions, favorite sayings and comparisons of our grandmothers , mothers, philosophers and the greatest, wisest people in the world and the author Petrash Tatiana. Team Love Solyanka: read to learn from someone else's experience of Love, filed!

The best man in the world, the most ideal lover - who is he?

The best man in the world is the beloved man. A beloved man is the one you love most in your life, even more than yourself. If in your love you love yourself more, then this is not love, but selfish falling in love.

An ideal lover is such a lover, except for whom you do not notice any other men around. The ideal lover to whom a woman wants to be faithful. The ideal lover, you guessed it, is just a beloved man.

Likewise, the best woman in the world is beloved, and the best, ideal lover is that woman, besides whom you do not notice others, and to whom you want to be faithful until the end of the century ... Everything is very simple and very complicated in the cunning science of Love. The art of love to comprehend truly is not given to every person ...
What is true Love from the height of a wise experience?
True Love is not a state of mind when you want to throw your whole life under an armored train, but throw yourself headlong into the pool of love. True Love is not a jitter in the blood and an agitated state of mind, poisoned with love, like poison, to the point of insanity. From real Love, you don't want to jump on the wall, jump from the 11th floor or rip off your shirt, proving to everyone and all the truth of your feelings.
True Love from the height of the flight of a wise man and one who has already learned a lot of experience is the long years lived by a man and a woman side by side in peace and in harmony. Young people will never understand the correctness of this definition of love and will not agree with it. But, perhaps, fortunately, youth is a flaw that quickly disappears from the head, and stupidity leaves a person's soul along with youth and quickly passes by beauty.
What is love? Love is the happy years lived together. If you are wise enough to let this truth into your heart, then perhaps you will not make those irreparable mistakes that, after dissipating the love intoxication of youth, usually prevent people from knowing true Love.
What are the basic rules of Love? How to keep Love?
If you want to break your Love, then there is nothing easier - lie, cheat, cheat on your beloved man + tell him about your lies and treason.
If you want to preserve your Love for many years, then, be good, observe three basic rules, the Law of Love:
1) never deceive your beloved man;
2) never cheat on your loved one;
3) never tell your loved one about your lies and betrayals;
4) remember that the first two rules precede the third, but not vice versa.
All men are the same! This is what women often say about men. All women are the same! This is what men often say about women. Is it true that all women and men are the same?
No it is not true. It is the person himself who is always the same when he chooses partners for himself, corresponding to some of his single, prefabricated type. So it turns out that all his partners are the same. But you yourself chose this person for yourself, got to know him yourself, you liked him and pleased you with his merits, upset you with his shortcomings.
Women usually like men of the same plan, type. Give one only nerds, domestic, modest and cozy men. When choosing a home, sofa man (the type of Oblomov or a man in a case), you should not complain later that he is boring, withdrawn, pedantic, does not go out with you from the house for a walk, does not give you romantic gifts.
If a woman chooses for herself a reliable, detailed man who will well support her and her entire family, with whom a woman will feel like she is behind an impenetrable stone wall (type Bluebeard), then is it worth it then to be surprised and curse her fate, if it turns out, that this "stone wall" is just a prison without windows and doors, without the ability to freely enter freedom?
If a woman herself meets and flirts with a cheerful and funny guy, a joker and a merry fellow, the heart and soul of any company (Casanov's type), then is it worth it then to wring his hands and cry when he pays more attention to his friends and new girlfriends than to you? You yourself are to blame - you yourself chose this man of this type.
If a woman loves men with a fine mental organization and a rich, intelligent and romantic inner world (Turgenev type), then one must prepare not only for extraordinary male deeds, feats, dinners by candlelight, enthusiastic poems about love and a bath with champagne, but also for his periodic kicks, creative kicks, retreats into oneself.
The main mistake of most women and men is that they invent in their brains a kind of prefabricated type, a hodgepodge of the qualities of the person whom they supposedly could love and with whom they would feel good. This self-created illusion of happiness in love very quickly proves its unviability and even harmfulness.
You should not choose similar men to women, and men should not be limited to dating girls of the same type - a bitch, a romantic young lady, a domestic hen, a business woman. Otherwise, why then be surprised that from the first meeting you know this person (by association with previous partners) like the back of your hand. It is not necessary to step on the same rake all the time, over and over again, choosing similar men for yourself, so that later you will be sincerely surprised at what all men are the same scoundrels!
Expand your horizons. Give up the types in Love. Do not limit your life to your brain and your inherent fantasies about the ideal man. In reality, your ideal man may turn out to be completely different - be prepared for this. This is the truth of life. True Love cannot be invented. Love will suddenly appear in an unexpected guise, when you do not expect it at all.

An interesting question about Love: Is it worth fighting for your Love? Or silently leave the battlefield without a fight?
Many women, and men too, often make the same mistake - at some point they begin to fight for their love with other women and men, with friends and relatives of a loved one. But what is the point of such a struggle for love? Is love a casting of beauty, strength, cunning, dexterity and possibilities? Love is not a catwalk, and feelings are valuable when they are not for show.
Very often people who fight fiercely for love resemble little children playing a child's game. Remember this game from childhood, when children have to run around the chairs in order to be the first to sit on them, and there are always fewer chairs than children, and it is a known fact that someone will lose, and therefore a struggle for a chair between several children will inevitably begin?
So, fighting for love is just as stupid and senseless as playing this child's game: take a step aside, take your mind off the rules of the game that you have invented, and sit on any chair you like on the sidelines, near the wall, where they are empty, there are a great many beautiful, comfortable and unoccupied ones.
Enough already playing, enough I said, playing children's games. If your beloved man allows you to fight for him, your beloved, then this is too much. A man who is truly loving and worthy of your Love will never allow you to be so humiliated, sinking to the level of a fight for his love with other competing competitors for his love. Love does not tolerate competition - it either exists, or, sorry, it's time to look around and sit on the neck of a free man, quietly standing on the sidelines and dreaming that someone will finally notice and appreciate him. Love is not a casting or a fight ring.
Difficult question about Love: How to understand that the time has come for Separation?
When you no longer want to pamper your loved one, do pleasant things for him, please with small unexpected surprises, then the time has come for Separation ...
Philosophical question about falling in love and love: How to understand what kind of feeling it is - Love or being in love?
To understand yourself and understand what you are experiencing - real Love or another love, take a mini-test and honestly answer two questions "Yes" or "No".
1 question from the test about Love and being in love. Remember your first meeting, your first date. Do you remember what you were wearing when you met? Do you remember what you said when he came up to you? Do you remember what you told him about, what jokes you laughed at? Do you remember this very well?
2 test questions about Love and being in love. Do you remember in detail what he was wearing on the first date, when you first met? Do you remember well what he said, what he laughed at?

So, if you better remember the details of what you were wearing, what you did and said, then this is falling in love. And if you remember what he was wearing, how he looked, what he said and what he did - this is Love. Draw your own conclusions. But the test is 500% accurate.
An interesting and beautiful, philosophical and rhetorical, but very difficult question about Love: How to forget the past, former Love? How to get Love out of your head if it sits in your heart?
To forget your former Love, you have to compare it with last year's snow: this Love will not happen again either, it has actually melted in your soul, like last year's snow, but its melt water still agitates your heart. If it hurts, if you feel bad, then just repeat to yourself "Last year's snow, last year's snow."
Treat your Love like last year's snow: the seasons, like human life, change, and the snow melts in summer, and there's nothing you can do about it, probably it's time for you to let go of your Love and let it calmly melt - true Love, like real snow, you can't hide it in the fridge.
Of course, now, when you feel very bad, when you suffer from your former Love, it is very difficult for you to believe in it, and yet - very soon a new, fresh, fluffy snow will fall, which will envelop your soul with its snow-white blanket and let a new one into it. , a fresh stream of new Love ... You just wait for the first new snowfall ...
And while you wait and still suffer, just hum to yourself - "This is last year's snow, last year's snow, and all my feelings are just laughter ..."
Philosophical, rhetorical question about Love: To be jealous or not to be jealous - that is the main question of Love!
If you are jealous of a man for every first woman's skirt you come across, this does not mean at all that you love this man until you lose your pulse. You're just afraid of losing him. Therefore, there is no point in being jealous of the man who is loyal to you - so you can only finally push him away from you and he will simply justify your worst expectations in order to begin to correspond to your worst ideas about him.
And there is no point in jealousy if a man is unfaithful to you: with your jealousy you will not change the situation, but only tear your soul, your hair will turn gray from worries, wrinkles will appear on your face. If a man is unfaithful to you, and you know about it, then, be jealous, do not be jealous, and the fact of his betrayal cannot be canceled. Here you have to either silently and with your head held high, if you cannot put up with his infidelity, or gritting your teeth to endure this state of affairs further, since it suits you because of money, power, children or other considerations.
In general, jealousy is such a seasoning for love relationships, which is good when a little and in moderation. And if there is too much jealousy, then such a seasoning already turns into poison. And another wise truth about Love: a loving person will try never to give you a reason for jealousy.
A difficult and interesting question about Love: How to tell a man that he as a man does not interest you, and you just want to “remain friends”?
Even if now you don't care about this guy as a man, this does not mean at all that in a few years the situation will not change dramatically. This time. Second, if you really want to keep a friend, rejecting him as a lover, invite him to remain friends in a very soft, delicate manner, in no way mentioning that he is not interesting to you as a man (preserve and spare his sense of dignity), but by doing an emphasis on the fact that you respect him too much as a friend to risk your friendship for a love affair.
After all, it is not known what kind of lovers and lovers you will turn out to be - Love is always a game of roulette, but friends - you are the best. So why risk real friendship for some unknown love adventure? It is not for nothing that they say that true Love is rare, and true friendship is even rarer.
An interesting and philosophical question about Love: How to part with a former beloved man's friends without offending him or offending his dignity at the same time? How to maintain a relationship after you have had Love and Separation?
The most important rule in a friendly parting with a once beloved man is not to sort things out, not to climb the wall, not to accuse and not swear. Thank your ex-man for being in your life, say thank you for all the good (list these events) that you had in your life and love together.
In parting, during separation, simply tell him: "Now I am able to love you from a distance" or "I no longer need your presence to continue to love you."
After such a goodbye, after such a gentle separation, a man will not be offended by you, will not hate your past Love. And then - it will be so easier for him to come to terms with the idea that you are no longer together, then you will be able to communicate normally, like real friends, without holding in your hearts a black, hidden nasty snake, resentment and bitterness from ugly separation.
Philosophical, interesting and beautiful, by no means a rhetorical question about Love: What to do if He does not call, does not write, does not come, does not come? What if after sex or at some point He just disappeared, I cannot contact him, communicate?
If your man, your beloved boyfriend immediately after the first sex or after some time of communication disappeared from your life, if he does not call you, does not come to you, although everything seems to be fine with you, then what to do? What happened? Why doesn't he call, doesn't come, doesn't announce himself, doesn't make contact? What to do? Maybe you need to call him or come to him to talk and find out the reason for his abrupt disappearance?
The wisest decision in such a situation is in no case to call, not to write letters, not to come to his house, not to look for meetings, not to impose. After all, in your heart you know the answer to your question: he does not call you, does not write, does not come simply because he does not want to. Have the courage to admit it to yourself.
If a beloved man does not call you, it means that he is fine without you and he simply does not want to call you. It's cruel, but it's true. It will be much worse if you impose on him so much that he will tell you all this in your eyes. If a man does not come to you, does not write letters, does not seek meetings with you, then this is only for one reason - he does not want to communicate with you. Face it and accept this fact.
It is very important to understand that if a man really loves a woman and is truly interested in her, then he will never disappear anywhere without warning. And there is no need to come up with excuses and explanations for his loss.
"Lost" will always be found by itself, will come to visit you every day, call you every hour, meet you from work and accompany you home, guard at the entrance and "accidentally" meet you at the store ... If, of course, a man is interested in you and in love with you, he will always find himself, call, come, and even if he is wounded, he will crawl on his knees and bruised.
If a man does not appear for a long time, play a commemoration in the shower for him. After all, if the man does not want, the woman will not jump on him. It's clear? If a man is with you for some reason, uncomfortable, bad, or elsewhere "he is better fed", then no force, no persuasion and conversation, persuasion, you will not lure him to yourself.
Unless you run into an outright deception, you hear a pure lie about how busy he is at work, what important things he does, how many problems, tasks and worries he has. Naturally more important than you. Therefore, do not ask a man why he doesn’t call you, don’t call him yourself, don’t come to his house, don’t impose on a man, don’t hang on his neck if you don’t want to hear the truth, why he doesn’t call you, doesn’t write and doesn’t look for meetings. with you.
You know this answer: since a man doesn’t do something, then he doesn’t want to. It's simple. But this can be hard to believe.

Yes, questions about Love are never simple - they are always difficult, exciting and often strange. Strange for someone who has never really loved. But, fortunately, there are only a few of them.

If you want to know whether it is worth fighting for your Love, when to understand that the time has come for separation, whether you need to be jealous and how to stop being jealous, and also if you are interested in many other wise answers to interesting and philosophical, rhetorical and funny, beautiful and complex questions about Love, then you are welcome to the world of Questions and Answers about Love.