Each of us is well aware of the expression "go with the flow" and the negative meaning that is put into it. A person who goes with the flow does not know why he lives, what he wants, and even more so he does not know how to change everything in order to find more meaning and get more pleasure. He just does what his boss, family and tax authorities ask him to do. There are many ways to stop going with the flow, but it is much more important than using isolated methods and tricks to apply the whole system - the system of conscious living.

Where to begin?

Oddly enough, it is better to start not with planning, but with summing up the results. Try to describe how you live - how much and what work time you devote, how you dine, how you relax, what you read and see, with whom you communicate. If you write everything down correctly, you will be able, as it were, to see your own life from the outside.

After describing your life, think about what you like and what not about it, what looks like a waste of time, and what important time is not enough. Consider how you can change the situation. For example, you really do not have enough time for. However, with the help of the recordings, you found out that you spend at least an hour and a half on TV and social networks every day. So much for your time reserve. Of course, a foreign language is not exactly what I would like to do after a hard day at work. But there are other options - for example, get up half an hour earlier in the morning or spend half of your lunch time reading and memorizing. If you commute to work by public transport, flashcards or a small notebook with new words will come in handy. Is it pointless to cram? Don't cram - come up with associations, draw parallels between foreign vocabulary and words of your native language, write sentences - getting into the context, words are much easier to remember. It is difficult to think of a more useful activity for moving. If you do this every day, then in a week you will be able to sum up pleasant results that you can be proud of.

Write down

Very often, bright thoughts come to our minds in a completely inappropriate environment for this. Alas, in most cases they disappear from the head so quickly that then we are trying in vain to remember what was so ingenious invented. To do this, you just need a notebook and a pen where you can write down such things.

It should be noted that such a notebook will be useful for housewives no less than for creative workers. Stop talking about which store to go to for food. Just write down the prices from one and the second, and compare at home. Or maybe while visiting the laundry you will come up with a great idea of ​​how to involve household members in household chores. Don't rely on memory - write it down!

By the way, this same method works great with literature as well. Heard about a new film by a famous director, a recently published book by a favorite author - write down the title. When you find yourself in a book or disc department, you don't have to puzzle over what to buy. You just open a notebook and make a purchase without much hesitation.

Of course, just writing it down isn't enough. It is necessary from time to time (and it is better to start a certain day for this) to leaf through the records and think about what innovations to bring into your life, what decisions to implement. In order not to forget about the decisions made, stick reminder stickers. The “wash the dishes immediately after eating!” Record glued to the cabinet near the sink will save you a lot of time and nerves.

The main thing is attention every day

As the renowned designer and time management expert Yana Frank says, "there is never too much of the main thing." Therefore, identify for yourself a few areas of paramount importance and those that you ignore day after day, you risk falling into a blues. Some dream of mastering a new drawing technique, others, others to read an important book on self-education, and still others to put things in order in some cluttered place in the apartment. However, for a thing to really move, it needs to move. Plan activities related to these important areas for each day (until the end of the case). If you do not have the energy and time at all (for example, for physical education, a book or analysis of the "blockage" on the trellis) set the timer for 15-20 minutes. With a quarter of an hour you will not lose activity. But during this time, you can do a piece of work and, most importantly, relieve yourself of the burden of guilt for not doing something very important. How are you doing! And here's the proof!

Accounting for this activity can be done on a single leaf. At the top, write the day of the month, and on the left in the column the names of the activities. All you need is to hang a piece of paper in front of your eyes and put plus signs. Didn't go to the gym - "work out" 15 minutes of exercise at home, could not bring yourself to clean the apartment - set the timer for 15 minutes and dust off, walk around the apartment with a trash can, collecting papers and used cotton pads from surfaces.

Paying attention to important things for you every day, you will feel great self-satisfaction, because you are no longer going with the flow, but moving in the direction you need.

Work and leisure plans

When a person is tired or under the influence of stress, it is difficult for him to collect his thoughts. Unfortunately, it often happens that small things, like possible ways of rest, simply fly out of my head. Therefore, after returning from work, instead of doing something useful and interesting, a person just sits down in an armchair and turns on the TV. Simply because he did not remember about something useful and interesting, and the TV immediately caught his eye. This is where lists of work and pleasant things come in handy.

There is still an hour before the end of the working day, and you are already squeezed out like a lemon? Open the list and see what easy things you can do without straining at all. Perhaps you need to check on the Internet the opening hours of an institution or delete unnecessary files from the folder. This work will not require much effort from you, and at the same time you will be fruitful in the remaining time. And, more importantly, you will save the morning time when your head is fresh, and you can deal with more serious and important issues, and not such "small things".

Want to ? Open a list of your hobbies and other interesting activities. Someone will take a pencil and draw, and someone will open a light detective novel that they have long wanted to read. Someone will arm themselves with a fashion magazine to choose the style of a dress, and someone will get old photographs from the mezzanine in order to finally arrange an album. There are so many things to do, and because of absent-mindedness and fatigue, we forget about the important and interesting.

Don't go with the flow - call the flow with you!

Go with the flow Inappropriate. Only nesov. Live, act, act as circumstances develop, passively obey them. Usually with n. with meaning faces: student, friend ... going with the flow.

I had no definite outlook and life plan, and I went with the flow and felt that I was at a crossroads. (D. Ovsyaniko-Kulikovsky.)

... You are lazy ... and therefore go with the flow. (K. Paustovsky.)

Educational phraseological dictionary. - M .: AST. E. A. Bystrova, A. P. Okuneva, N. M. Shansky. 1997 .

See what "go with the flow" is in other dictionaries:

to go with the flow- obey, obey, obey Dictionary of Russian synonyms ... Synonym dictionary

To go with the flow- Spread. Express. Live, act passively, obeying the prevailing circumstances. Everything is over; now I do not belong to myself, I go with the flow; now the best thing is not to think, not to reason, but without criticism to accept all the accidents of life (V. ... ... Phraseological dictionary of the Russian literary language

To go with the flow- Spread. To live, to act passively, obeying the prevailing circumstances, accepted models. BMS 1998, 568; FSRYa, 475; ZS 1996,151,499; Mokienko 1990, 129 ...

sail- Go with the flow (book) transfer. to act and live as is customary, passively obeying the prevailing models, not being able to choose an independent life path. Not knowing the difference between good and evil, I swam with the flow at first. Nekrasov. ... ... Phraseological dictionary of the Russian language

sail- swimming, swimming; last swam, la, swam; nesov. 1. Walk on the surface or in the depths of the water. a) Keeping on the surface (or in depth) of the water, move along it in a certain direction with the help of certain body movements (about a person and ... ... Small academic dictionary

sail- swimming / swimming; swam, la /, ply / lo; nsv. 1) Move on the surface or in the depths of the water in a certain direction (about fish, animals and humans) Salmon, a seal swims. The dog, the horse is swimming. The man is swimming. Swim fast. Swim on your side, on ... ... Dictionary of many expressions

Sail afloat- Sib. Swim with the river. FSS, 137 ... A large dictionary of Russian sayings

sail- verb., nsv., upotr. often Morphology: I am swimming, you are swimming, he / she / it is swimming, we are swimming, you are swimming, they are swimming, swimming, swimming, swimming, swimming, swimming, swimming, swimming, swimming, swimming; St. swim, swim, swim, swim 1. If ... Dmitriev's Explanatory Dictionary

sail- swimming, swimming; swam, la, swam; nsv. 1. Move on the surface or in the depths of the water in a certain direction (about fish, animals and humans). Salmon, the seal is swimming. The dog, the horse is swimming. The man is swimming. Quickly p. P. on the side, on the back. NS.… … encyclopedic Dictionary

Float- SWIM, swim, swim, past. time. swam, swam, swam, unsover. 1. Keeping on the surface of the water with the help of certain body movements, move along it (about humans and animals that do not live in the depths of the water). “On red legs, the goose is heavy, thinking ... ... Ushakov's Explanatory Dictionary

Books

• Zen in the big city. The art of going with the flow and always being where you need it, Elena Mikhailovna Volodina. Forget multitasking, planning and motivation! It is no longer fashionable to be in time. Home zengirl Lena Volodina - journalist, media manager and instagram blogger (@joecooker), believes that ... Buy for 636 rubles
• Zen in a big city The art of going with the flow and always being where you need to, Volodina E. Forget multitasking, planning and motivation! It is no longer fashionable to be in time. Home zengirl Lena Volodina - journalist, media manager and instagram blogger (@joecooker), believes that ...

In this article, we'll talk about what it means to go with the flow of life.

Most people do not live this life, but live its existence. This is due to the fact that people, as a rule, struggle with life, constantly rebel against it, believing that by doing this they will achieve something.

Someone, on the contrary, floats with the flow of life, but at the same time, the flow controls their life. The first ones swim against the current and row as much as they can, fight with the flow of life.

And only a few use the force of the flow of the river of life and at the same time paddle in the direction they need, they do not struggle with life and at the same time do not surrender to the will of the current.

It is these people who are able to manage their lives as they wish.

You need to be able not to fight life and not surrender to its flow, you need

Those who struggle with life are always the losers, since life cannot be defeated. Those who surrender to its flow and at the same time do not set the course themselves, also achieve nothing.

Only those people who know what they want from life and at the same time use the power of the flow of life to get where they need to, are the winners.

And in general, life for such people is much easier.

Struggling with life means not accepting what is at the moment, being nervous about it, being dissatisfied, not grateful, annoyed about anything, worrying about something or worrying, worrying and fearful.

Going with the flow of life, surrendering to the flow means accepting unfavorable circumstances and not trying to do anything to change it.

To float with the flow of life and direct the flow to where you need it means to accept what is, to know that all circumstances are only in your hands and to see your ultimate goal and strive for it thanks to the flow of life, but at the same time be sure that what you want already in your pocket and feel happy, joyful, grateful, accepting, always loving, no matter what happens.

It is not easy and it is necessary to strive for it. Not all at once. But you can come to this. Ultimately, if you strive for this, then sooner or later you become a wanderer who uses all the resources of life for his own good and any little thing provided by life will be regarded as a gift and will be used as much as possible.

Accept everything in your life, for it is all created by you. With your thoughts, words and deeds. By denying something in your life, you are denying a part of yourself and thus not accepting who You Are.

That's all that needs to be said here.

Thank you for the attention.

If you liked the article, leave a comment below it and share it on social networks.

Are you mired in everyday problems and do not see the point in what you are doing? Nothing depends on you, are you like a splinter floating into nowhere? Are you tired and bored of everything? Alas, no one is immune from such thoughts, nevertheless, it is quite possible to learn how to manage them. How exactly, tell our friends from "Universarium".

The human brain has the unique ability to create patterns of behavior that allow us to act automatically, without the involvement of the mind. This is a very useful property - it gives us the opportunity not to waste our strength and energy on a routine. On "autopilot" we brush our teeth, drink morning coffee, wash dishes, ride the subway and drive a car along a route well known to us. And all would be fine, but only the problems begin a little later - when our whole life becomes such an unconscious movement. Movement "on autopilot".

“On autopilot” we cannot set ourselves truly important and complex goals, since we are driven by subconscious attitudes and external factors. That is why the first step in the art of managing your own life is to develop the ability to track and turn off the "autopilot" when we don't need it. How to achieve this is explained below.

1. Control your attention

2. Keep your senses in check

All the feelings that we experience can be divided into two groups - those that help us and those that hinder us. And if you are determined to stop living by inertia, obeying only external stimuli, you need to sort out your own emotions - learn to control negative feelings and consciously create positive ones. First, try to trace the sources of your emotions. It is not as easy as it seems at first glance. The fact is that the most important component of "autopilot" is irrational beliefs. Such beliefs most often come from childhood - they can be borrowed from parents, teachers and educators, or be taken from other sources that participated in the formation of our personality.

Here is an example of an irrational belief: "people close to me should always support me." It sounds kind of right and natural. But in fact, close people cannot always support you - they have their own problems and their own difficulties (and also a bad mood, which no one canceled either). As a result, irrational beliefs become the source of a whole range of negative emotions. Under their influence, we can abandon people and opportunities that are important to us.

Working with emotions is precisely about analyzing them and determining whether they are related to reality or are the result of irrational beliefs. By learning to find the true causes of your fears and doubts, you can overcome them and take action.

As for positive emotions, we need them like air, because happiness and pleasure are the fuel on which our brain works. At the same time, filling your life with joyful experiences is quite simple - just make a list of what gives you pleasure, and what is available to you here and now, and every day do one item from this list. And don't forget the little things: even the simplest things, like a cup of coffee or watching, can make a rainy day better.

3. Determine what is really valuable and important to you.

There are quite a few ways to control yourself and your perception, one of these ways is ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, or therapy of acceptance and responsibility). With this technique, you can take small but effective steps to normalize the situation in which you find yourself, without postponing anything until tomorrow and without setting yourself too global - and therefore unattainable - goals.

This is a polygon made up of several anchor points. The upper point is the state of "here and now". It means connection with the present moment, awareness of oneself and the surrounding reality. The bottom point is called "I am the observer": this is our ability to be aware of what is happening, without feelings and assessments. It is from this point that we begin to move towards real change.

Step # 1: we focus on the “I am the observer” position and realize that our own life does not bring us satisfaction and we want to change it.

Step # 2: we accept the current state of affairs without any evaluations or judgments. If you get the feeling that everything is bad and you can't fix anything, realize that “bad” is a value judgment, and return to the state of acceptance. Acceptance is a calm and even state of "it is."

Step # 3: we separate what is happening from our ideas about it - from fears and negative attitudes. We sort of "cleanse" the events of our life from the accompanying emotions.

Step # 4: now we begin to perform actions that bring us closer to our values, namely, to what we really want.

Even if you do not have a clear understanding in which direction you want to move, in any case you have values ​​- what you like and what you want. And be guided by them.

For some, values ​​are a quiet pastime with loved ones, contemplation of nature, the opportunity to be creative, for someone - constant communication with new people, overcoming obstacles and eternal passion. It's important to understand what matters to you. But be prepared for the fact that your values ​​may not align with generally accepted goals. Perhaps you realize that you want to travel the world with your camera at the ready, and not painfully climb the career ladder. Nevertheless, taking even the smallest step towards what is truly valuable, you will feel an influx of strength and

There is a force that can lead each of us to an unhappy life if we do not resist it in time. I call it drift.

Path of Least Resistance

Drift is the result of decisions you make along the path of least resistance. Get married because everyone gets married, accept the first job offer you come across instead of finding the one you really want, or do something to please your family. This is drift. And it scares me: not because it puts you in danger. But because without making a conscious choice (albeit often wrong), you cannot come to a happy ending. As a result, your life does not reflect your values ​​or aspirations. Once, in the course of my life, I was "nailed" to the Faculty of Law - not because I wanted so much, but because I did not know what I would like to do. I thought I had every reason to believe that I was doing the right thing: studying law is a very suitable occupation and application of my abilities, and besides, there was room for maneuver. But I didn't really think about my choice. When, at last, I realized what was best for me, I began to write. I am much happier now than then ...

How to understand what is taking you with the flow?

The drift may seem lazy to someone, but, by my definition, this is not at all true (I was not at all lazy, while studying law, on the contrary, I wasted colossal efforts!). Drift is when you are guided by someone else's opinion or expectations, and not by your own thoughts and desires. For example, you thought about your business, but did not dare to open it because your husband said it was crazy. Or you would like to start a hobby club, but your friends talked you out of it. Later, it may seem to you that you did the right thing (your job is such a responsibility!), But every time you give up your values ​​and interests, you accumulate sadness. Inner sadness leads to boredom and an inability to make decisions.

Take a mini test

To see if you are drifting, take a look at the statements below. If two or more of them seem right to you, it's time to take an honest look at your life and understand in what aspects of it you have given yourself to the will of the current.

• Sometimes I have the feeling that I am living someone else's life and still waiting for mine to begin.
• I am busy with the same as my environment. Or, doing something, I often say to myself: "I can too!" or "What if one day it becomes interesting to me?"
• I fantasize that some natural disaster or outside intervention will change my situation, for example: because of a flood, my office will be closed or I will be transferred to another city.
• I spend a lot of time dreaming of a completely different life, so I get distracted from my current job.
• Once I had a variety of hobbies and hobbies, but now I have abandoned everything and try not to remember them.

How to deal with drift?

Envy can be a spark. If you look at someone else's life more than with admiration - and with a feeling closer to longing for the same - here is your key to action! Also take a closer look at your hobby. What do you like to do in your free time from work and household duties? So, when I was still studying law, I started working on my book about happiness. Did it on weekends. And once I admitted that this hobby attracts me the most. It was the draft of the book that gave me the strength to resist the flow. Think about what you can understand about yourself if you take your hobbies more seriously?

Choose the right course

To blow the dust off your inner compass and find your true path, try repeating a motivating statement. One of my favorites: "You can choose a job, but not a vocation!" To do something and to love to do something are not the same! Let me explain: you can be busy, for example, with office work, but you cannot bring yourself to love this field of activity. This means that you do not feel happy.

But it’s not enough to understand what you don’t want to do. It remains to be understood which direction to sail further. This will take time. Use the flow while you are thinking. Drift, but be sensitive to your desires and dreams. Ask yourself, “What do I want? What do I really want to do? What fascinates me? " Focus not on what “shoulds” (although we understand that some “shoulds” cannot be avoided), but choose from what inspires you the most.

This is the only way you can get back on track. Being able to be yourself gives you a sense of freedom. You yourself will understand when you stop drifting and start building a life based on your values ​​and interests. And this, believe me, is happiness!