Where to start to change your life. Where to start self-development

Here are the things: I was at zero several times, came back to life several times, did it over and over again. I started new careers. The people who knew me then do not know me now. Etc.

I started my career from scratch several times. Sometimes - because my interests changed. Sometimes - because all the bridges were burned without a trace, and sometimes because I desperately needed money. And sometimes - because I hated everyone in my previous job or they hated me.

There are other ways to reinvent yourself, so take my words with a grain of salt. This is what worked in my case. I've seen this work for about a hundred other people. From interviews, from letters that have been written to me over the past 20 years. You can try - or not.

1. Change never ends

Every day you reinvent yourself. You are always on the move. But every day you decide exactly where you are going: forward or backward.

2. Start from scratch

All your past labels are just futility. Were you a doctor? An Ivy League alumnus? Owned millions? Did you have a family? Nobody cares. You have lost everything. You are zero. Don't try to say that you are big.

3. You need a mentor

Otherwise, you will go to the bottom. Someone needs to show you how to move and breathe. But don't worry about finding a mentor (see below).

4. Three types of mentors

Straight. Someone ahead of you, who will show you how he got there. What does "this" mean? Wait a minute. By the way, mentors don't look like Jackie Chan's character in The Karate Kid. Most mentors will hate you.

Indirect. Books. Films. You can get 90% of the instruction from books and other materials. 200-500 books equate to a good mentor. When people ask me, "What's a good book worth reading?" - I do not know what to answer them. There are 200-500 good books worth reading. I would turn to inspirational books. Whatever you believe, strengthen your beliefs with daily reading.

Anything can be a mentor. If you are nobody and want to re-create yourself, whatever you look at can become a metaphor for your desires and goals. The tree you see, with its roots inaccessible to the eye and the groundwater that feeds it, is a programming metaphor when you tie the individual points together. And whatever you look at will be "connecting the dots."

5. Don't worry if you don't get carried away.

You take care of your health. Start with it. Take small steps. You don't need passion to succeed. Do your thing with love and success will be a natural symptom.

6. Time it will take to re-create yourself: five years

Here is a description of these five years.

First year: you flounder and read everything and just start doing something.

Year Two: You know who you need to talk to and maintain working relationships. You do something every day. You finally understand what the map of your own game of "Monopoly" looks like.

Year Three: You are good enough to start making money. But so far, perhaps, not enough to make a living.

Year 4: You are well-provided for.

Year 5: You are making a fortune.

Sometimes I got frustrated in the first four years. I asked myself, "Why hasn't this happened yet?" - hit the wall with his fist and smashed his arm. It's okay, just keep walking. Or stop and choose a new field for action. It does not matter. Someday you will die, and then it will be really difficult to change.

7. If you do it too fast or too slowly, then something is going wrong.

Google is a good example.

8. It's not about money

But money is a good yardstick. When people say, “It's not about money,” they need to be sure that they have some other unit of measure. "How about just doing what you love?" There will be many days ahead when you will not like what you do. If you do it out of pure love, it will take much more than five years. Happiness is just a positive response from your brain. You will be unhappy some days. Your brain is just a tool; it does not define who you are.

9. When can you say, "I'm doing X"? When does X become your new profession?

10. When can I start practicing X?

Today. If you want to paint, buy canvas and paints today, start buying 500 books one at a time and paint pictures. If you want to write, do the following three things:

Read

If you want to start your own business, start coming up with a business idea. Re-creating yourself begins today. Every day.

11. When will I make money?

In a year, you will have invested 5,000-7,000 hours in this business. This is good enough for you to be in the top 200-300 in the world in any specialty. Getting into the top 200 almost always provides a livelihood. By the third year, you will have figured out how to make money. By the fourth - you will be able to increase the speed and provide for yourself. Some stop there.

12. By the fifth year, you will be in the top 30-50, so you can make a fortune.

13. How to determine what is mine?

Any area in which you are able to read 500 books. Go to the bookstore and find her. If after three months you get bored, go to the bookstore again. It's okay to get rid of illusions, that's the point of failure. Success is better than failure, but failure is the most important lesson. Very important: don't rush. During your interesting life, you can change yourself many times. And fail many times. It's fun too. These attempts will turn your life into a storybook, not a textbook. Some people want their life to be a textbook. Mine is a book of stories, good or bad. Therefore, changes are happening every day.

14. The decisions you make today will be in your biography tomorrow.

Make interesting decisions and you will have an interesting biography.

15. The decisions you make today will become part of your biology.

16. What if I like something exotic? Biblical Archeology or 11th Century Wars?

Repeat the steps above and you should be rich by your fifth year. We don't know how. There is no need to look for the end of the road when you are only taking the first steps.

17. What if my family wants me to become an accountant?

How many years of your life have you promised to give to your family? Ten? All life? Then wait for the next life. It's up to you to choose.

Choose freedom over family. Freedom, not prejudice. Freedom, not government. Freedom, not satisfaction of other people's needs. Then you will satisfy yours.

18. My mentor wants me to walk his path

This is fine. Master his path. Then do it your way. Sincerely.

Fortunately, no one is holding a gun to your head. Then you would have to comply with his demands until he lowers the gun.

19. My husband (wife) is worried: who will take care of our children?

A person who changes himself always finds free time. Part of changing yourself is finding moments and reshaping them the way you would like to use them.

20. What if my friends think I'm crazy?

Who are these friends?

21. What if I want to be an astronaut?

It is not changing yourself. This is a specific profession. If you like space, there are many professions. Richard Branson wanted to be an astronaut and created Virgin Galactic.

22. What if I enjoy drinking and hanging out with friends?

Read this post again in a year.

23. What if I'm busy? Cheating on my spouse or betraying my partner?

Read this post again in two or three years, when you are broke, out of work and everyone will turn their backs on you.

24. And if I can’t do anything at all?

Read point 2 again.

25. And if I don't have a diploma or is it of no use?

Read point 2 again.

26. What if I need to focus on paying off my mortgage or other loan?

Read point 19 again.

27. Why do I feel like an outsider all the time?

Albert Einstein was an outsider. No one in authority would have hired him. Everyone sometimes feels like an impostor. The greatest creativity comes from skepticism.

28. I can't read 500 books. Name one book you need to read for inspiration

Then you can give up right away.

29. What if I'm too sick to change myself?

The change will spur the production of nutrients in your body: serotonin, dopamine, oxytocin. Move forward, and you may not recover at all, but you will become healthier. Don't use health as an excuse.

Finally, rebuild your health first. Sleep more. Eat better. Go in for sports. These are the key steps to change.

30. What if my partner set me up and I'm still suing him?

Quit litigation and never think about him again. Half of the problem was in you.

31. What if I go to jail?

Perfectly. Reread point 2. Read more books in prison.

32. And if I am a timid person?

Make weakness your strength. Introverts are better at listening and concentrating, and they are more sympathetic.

33. What if I can't wait five years?

If you plan to stay alive in five years, you can start today.

34. How to establish contacts?

Construct concentric circles. You should be in the middle. The next circle is friends and family. Then - online communities. Then - people whom you know from informal meetings and tea parties. Then there are conference participants and opinion leaders in their field. Then - mentors. Then there are customers and those who make money. Start working your way through these circles.

35. What if my ego starts getting in the way of what I am doing?

In six months or a year, you will return to point 2.

36. What if I am passionate about two things at once? And I can't choose?

Combine them, and you will be the best in the world for this combination.

37. What if I am so passionate that I want to teach others what I am learning myself?

Read lectures on YouTube. Start with a one-person audience and see if it grows.

38. What if I want to make money in my sleep?

In Year 4, start outsourcing what you do.

39. How to find mentors and experts?

When you have accumulated enough knowledge (after 100-200 books), write 10 ideas for 20 different potential mentors.

None of them will answer you. Write 10 more ideas for 20 new mentors. Repeat this every week.

40. What if I can't come up with ideas?

Then practice it. The thinking muscles tend to atrophy. They need to be trained.

It will be difficult for me to reach my toes if I don't exercise every day. I have to do this exercise every day for some time before this position is easy for me. Don't expect good ideas from day one.

42. What if I do everything that you say, but still nothing seems to work?

It will work out. Just wait. Keep changing yourself every day.

Don't try to find the end of the road. You cannot see it in the fog. But you can see the next step, and you will realize that if you take it, you will eventually reach the end of the path.

43. What if I start to feel depressed?

Sit in silence for an hour a day. You need to get back to your core.

If this sounds silly to you, don't do it. Live on with your depression.

44. And if there is no time to sit in silence?

Then sit in silence for two hours a day. This is not meditation. You just have to sit.

45. What if I get scared?

Sleep 8-9 hours a day and never gossip. Sleep is the first secret to good health. Not the only one, but the first. Some people write to me that four hours of sleep is enough for them, or that in their country those who sleep a lot are considered lazy. These people will fail and die young.

When it comes to gossip, our brains are biologically programmed to have 150 friends. And when you chat with one of your friends, you can gossip about someone from the other 150. And if you don't have 150 friends, the brain will want to read gossip magazines until it thinks it has 150 friends.

Don't be as stupid as your brain.

46. ​​And if everything seems to me that I will never succeed?

Practice gratitude for 10 minutes a day. Don't suppress your fear. Notice your anger.

But also allow yourself to be grateful for what you have. Anger never inspires, but gratitude inspires. Gratitude is the bridge between your world and the parallel universe where all creative ideas live.

47. And if I constantly have to deal with some kind of personal squabbles?

Find other people to be with.

A person who changes himself will constantly meet people who are trying to suppress him. The brain is afraid of change - it can be unsafe. Biologically, the brain wants you to be safe, and change is a risk. So your brain will shove you people trying to stop you.

Learn to say no.

48. What if I'm happy at my office job?

49. Why should I trust you? You've been defeated so many times

Don't trust me.

50. Will you become my mentor?

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How to change yourself? If you ask yourself such a question, it means that you are already a very mature person. People are more likely to ask the question of how to change other people or circumstances.

Only an adult and reasonable person understands that any changes in life begin with changes in oneself.

It is truly fortunate to understand that managing your life circumstances begins with changing yourself.

How to start to change correctly

Setting goals

Changing yourself is a worthy decision. But where do you start? Before you change yourself, you need to understand exactly what goals you are striving for. What do you want to see as a result of your changes? After all, you can spend a lot of effort, and then be dissatisfied with the result.

The goals that may require changes are very different, for example:

  • Make a dizzying career.
  • Create a family.
  • Find health and beauty.
  • To gain a high position in society.
  • Create sources of passive income.

But it must be borne in mind that in order to achieve a particular goal, certain qualities will be required:

  • For example, the qualities necessary to create a family for a woman: kindness, tenderness, a desire to take care of children, meekness, obedience, loyalty, devotion. And if a girl sets herself the goal of creating a family, then it will be beneficial for her to change and develop precisely these qualities.
  • If the goal is to build a career, other qualities will be needed, such as determination, assertiveness, determination, strength.
  • Of course, you can develop all the qualities in yourself a little bit with an undefined goal. But with this approach, attempts to change are likely to quickly come to a standstill. Since actions in the absence of a goal do not bring much satisfaction, therefore, it is lost to move on.

Therefore, it is very important to set a goal before you start changing. One "want to change" is not enough to transform yourself. Change begins with targeting. This is the answer to the question: "Where to start transforming yourself?"

Finding examples to follow

The next step in changing yourself will be to find people who have already achieved similar goals.

Knowing the destination you want to go to, you can try to find your own path. But one must understand that such a search takes a long time and very often does not lead to anything. Sometimes it is like trying to invent your own writing and language.

It is much easier to explore examples of the development of those people who were in a similar situation and were able to change it. It is very important that they be able to overcome it successfully. An example is desirable to take not one or two.

  • BIOGRAPHIES OF SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE

What can be taken as an example? A great option is biographies. , in this or that area, sometimes they write books about how they overcame difficulties, how they changed.

Reading biographical books helps to identify personality traits that contributed to the achievement of goals through change. Choose books, the authors of which could say with confidence: "I changed myself completely and got decent results."

  • PEOPLE AROUND YOU

Sometimes examples can be seen in life. For example, a friend whose personal life did not develop for a long time, but then she changed herself and found family happiness.

Or a colleague who first held an insignificant position, but then. Observe people who are getting what they want. Celebrate their qualities, do not hesitate to ask for advice.

  • LECTURES, TRAININGS

Listening to lectures and attending trainings is also a good option to meet the right people. Sometimes the leader of such trainings himself is a successful person who is ready to share his experience on how to change. And I went through great changes in the past.

  • PSYCHOLOGICAL LITERATURE

Reading and helping to change yourself. However, not all books will be useful.

Therefore, study the reviews and try to find out as much as possible about the author's life. Not all authors of psychological literature deserve to be examples of how to change.

  • RELIGION

If faith is not unacceptable to you, then you can read or listen to lectures by clergymen. There are often people among them who have the knowledge of how to completely change and are good role models.

Studying someone else's experience

The next step in self-improvement will be to study the experience of people who have been able to change the course of their lives. Studying their experience, you can systematize it and understand how to change in order to become like them and achieve goals.

Read books, attend trainings, study biographies, gather as much information as possible from someone else's experience on how to change yourself.

Do not rush into the pool with your head. At first, some things may not be understood. That is, there will be no understanding of why this or that thing needs to be done, how to apply it and why it is needed. Do not write off, gradually introduce into your life what is close and understandable.

  • For example, if you decide to become a leading person, then by starting it immediately on Monday, by Tuesday of the next week there is a great chance to dump it.
  • Why? Because with the arrival of the thought “I want to change,” a person rushes to change everything at once. That is, a newly minted follower of a healthy lifestyle begins to get up at 6 in the morning, do exercises, eat vegetables and fruits, instead of the usual dumplings, quit smoking and skip alcohol on the next birthday.
  • As a result, after a few days or weeks, this lifestyle becomes unbearable. The person returns to the old habits. Question: "How to change?" now he is much less worried, there is a feeling of aversion to changes.
  • As you study other people's experiences, join them gradually, with understanding. If you're going to get up early, get up 30 minutes early tomorrow. After three or four days for another 10 minutes. Gradually work your way up to the desired ascent time. It should become a habit, not self-abuse. And before doing something, it is very important to understand why you need it.

Where to look for support and how to stay motivated

When deciding how to change yourself, it is very important to remember that motivation and a strong desire to change are integral companions of progress.

Naturally, the desire to change over time will increase and decrease. Sooner or later, the first fuse will pass, motivation will begin to decrease. There will definitely be situations on the path of change when it seems that there is no progress.

There will be situations when it seems that the changes are going completely in the wrong direction, that they do not in any way bring you closer to the intended goals. Sometimes there may be a strong desire to give up everything and return to what was.

But remember to say the phrase: "I changed myself completely, I have achieved success!" can only those who still reached the end, those who coped with all the difficulties, experienced difficult moments and those who did not give up.

To cope with the difficult situations that arise along the path of change, create an environment for yourself that will help you not to quit. What are these conditions?

The correct attitude to failure

There will undoubtedly be successes and failures in the process of change. It is important to have the right attitude to failure. You don't have to beat yourself up for every mistake.

Failure is good too. Because it provides food for thought and analysis. It helps you understand your mistakes and not commit them in the future.

If you are not mistaken, then you are most likely not learning. Every miss is fraught with an equal or even greater opportunity. Learn to see failure as opportunities and lessons.

An environment conducive to change

Without a good environment that shares your goals, change will be impossible. There is no such person who never doubts. There are very few people who can resist the pressure of others for a long time. In order to survive periods of doubt, rejection of society, it is necessary to have the support of like-minded people.

It is not necessary that there are many such people, but at least one should be. Since it is the support of someone who shares your aspirations and beliefs that can change everything.

Tracking the progress of changes

  • Motivation is lost due to the inability to feel progress. The solution in this case will be - a diary or any other way of fixing the current state.
  • Go back from time to time to old records about yourself to see that changes are still taking place.

Possible obstacles

Often a person who declares: “I want to change” and starts moving in this direction is perceived by others with hostility.

Do not worry, with the question: "How can I change if those around me do not support me?" faces each one who decides to go their own way, change and develop.

Environment preventing change

For example, someone in the company has stopped drinking and no longer drinks alcohol. Usually such statements provoke violent reactions. Because you can't just quit drinking. This requires a very compelling reason, such as illness or pregnancy. There is no other way.

People around you, as a rule, are afraid of change, they do not share your desire to change. Perhaps, if you do not stray from your path and achieve good results, over time, these same people will wonder how to change themselves.

But for now, they will most likely react negatively or cautiously.

Personality traits that prevent change

In addition to people, I hinder changes in character traits such as laziness, fear, indecision. Old favorite habits also hinder progress:

  • For example, a person takes care of his health, learns wholesome food, exercise. But then laziness and old habits begin to attack. Eat delicious in the evening, skip workout.
  • Drive such desires away. Create an environment in which bad habits and character traits will be difficult to manifest. Then, over time, you will happily say, "I changed myself completely."

Hello, Pavel Yamb is with you and let's talk today about pleasant things: changes for the better. What has gotten better in your life lately? Earnings? Relationship? Health? Or is it somehow the same as before? Let me tell you one secret: if everything is as it was, then it has become worse. You just didn't notice it. Because our life is like a mountain: if you don't go up, you slide down. You know, nobody canceled the law of universal gravitation. Therefore, in order not to be disappointed in life, you need to know how to change your life for the better.

Up the slope

We are all people, we tend to forget, not to finish, to relax, putting it off for later ... These "tails" are pulling us down.

For example, once we got up in the morning, the mood is good, the sun is shining on the street. And the plans were to clean the houses. But - they did not clean it up, went for a walk to the park, with a good company. We drank, sat, talked sincerely ... We came home, fell, fell asleep. The next day you get up - your head is cast-iron, at home srach, it's time to go to work - and then it's surprising: why is this mood so bad? Yes, because he sits inside that he planned one thing - and did not do it.

But this is cleaning, it is rarely possible to do without it completely. But if we are talking about charging, for example, then it is more difficult.

I didn't - I explained to myself: well, it's only once. And in general, we have cut how many circles in the park - compensation!

Here I put it off, I forgot there, here I changed my mind ... How can you get faith in yourself if you constantly don’t finish something? Our memory fixes absolutely everything, even if we forget something. So the number of unfinished business grows into quality - self-doubt.

Therefore, any improvement begins with a careful review and tidying up.

  • at home;
  • lifestyle;
  • ways of thinking;
  • habits.

Where to begin?

It depends on the desire. You already have a general plan of action, it remains only to decide on the volume, details and time. Well, let's say, let's not be scattered and set aside a week for each change. Then we will manage in one month, and in the end we will find ourselves with a decent backlog of changes in our lives.

So: home

Do you love cleanliness and have recently done a spring cleaning? Commendable! What about old things? Maybe you need to look into the far corners of the closet and pull out old shirts and blouses that you have not worn for several years? Ask yourself, honestly, will you still wear them? It is clear that dear memories can be associated with them. But they can be stored in memory, not in a closet: at least there will be more free space.

In general, a good rule is to get rid of everything old. That is why for many peoples this is necessarily a tradition for some holiday. In Spain, for example, old things are disposed of on New Year's Eve. They just take old furniture and things out of the windows and throw them out.

Of course, it's not worth it so drastically, but sorting out the accumulated deposits means freeing up space for a new one.

To make it easier to decide, imagine that you have to move. What will you take with you to your new home, and what will you leave? Your future life is a new home. So choose only the best!

Lifestyle

Oh, those favorite habits! The hardest thing is to part with them. Delicious food, sleep a little longer, hang out in front of the TV with a packet of chips or pizza or play a computer game until dawn ... However, extra pounds, circles under the eyes from sleepless nights and dullness from incessant action movies, soap operas and all mental husk clearly show that this is not the best way to improve yourself.

Therefore, we devote this week to a healthy lifestyle. We sit less, only for work needs, we move more, eat vegetables, fruits and go to bed on time. Such a mini-sanatorium at home. If there is an opportunity to go a couple of times a week to the gym or on a suburban walk, do not miss it. Massage, sauna, swimming pool - everything that will invigorate the body and shake the accumulated deposits.

Or maybe you have some doctor's advice about vitamins that you need to drink, or even the vitamins themselves, bought then, with the thought that I will take up my health? Do not hesitate, stretch, start taking this same week.

Way of thinking

Well, we already have clear signs of improvement: the house is clean, the lifestyle is also tweaked - now it's time to put things in order in my head. First of all, answer the following questions:

  • What mood do you get up in the morning?
  • What are you thinking about during the day?
  • How do you feel in the evening?
  • What worries you before bed?
  • With what feeling do you think about tomorrow, about the future?

Answering these questions with rigor and honesty will help you reveal whether you are filled with positive thoughts and feelings, or completely immersed in a routine.

It is clear that we do not live in a vacuum, our expectations can be influenced by both global events and relationships with loved ones. However, the more a person takes responsibility for his life and his happiness on himself, the less his mood depends on others.

So - we begin to cultivate in ourselves an optimistic way of thinking.

“I can do it”, “I can do it”, “I can do it” - this is what should replace the usual whining and fears.

The coolest thing is that if you find the key moments where this uncertainty arises and start working with them, everything works out. This is not stupid auto-training with howls like in the movies.

It's just such a catch of mental brain-mongrels and eliminating them. For example: you go to the boss. What do you think of this hike? That he will again be dissatisfied with your work? That you will have to kill time to listen to his reasoning? Is this the kind of future you want for yourself?

No, we catch the brain monster by the tail, knock it on the table and say: but nifiga! The boss will be pleased, will tell me something useful, and in general - will give me sugar and kiss on the nose bonus!

The degree to which this plan of yours is fulfilled depends on:

a) neglect of problems with the boss;

b) inner confidence or courage.

I warn you right away: it may not work. If the relationship with the boss is complicated, then you can just lock this problem in a distant closet for now and practice on something that does not cause such internal resistance. Practice on the little things: bread in the store, place in transport ...

The most important thing this week is to stop broadcasting a dull attitude towards life into the universe and start wishing yourself good, pleasant things. So that it is not like in a joke:

So sit your angel in front of you and dictate to him what you really expect and want from life.

Another tip for the week (wow, a busy week is coming out!) - remember the old promises made to yourself and others. What was not done, not because of impossibility, but simply - forgot? Give a book to read, learn something from another friend, return the drill ... You have to sit down, remember, even better - write it down, and finally do something.

A trifle, right? That's why they forgot to do it, because - well, sheer trifle! However, the thought that they have fulfilled, kept their promise, completed - is no longer a trifle. She will give confidence, allow you to turn your face to the future with a clear conscience, and not constantly think about what you have not completed, forgotten. Feel the difference in the mood arising from the accomplished and from the thought of the unfinished.

Of course, you can try to set yourself up for the future with this tail, but it's like trying to fit into a turn at speed, having an unidentified amount of different garbage in a trailer. It is unlikely that it will work, or even get stuck altogether, tear something off for you inadvertently.

Shaking ourselves

I must say that if you move according to this plan, then the old habits will significantly shake up by the fourth week already. But...

Leading the same lifestyle from day to day, we get used to looking at the world from the same angle. If our life is not going well, then it is difficult to force ourselves to look at it with a happy look. Therefore, our task this week is simply to change the way we look at the world. Take a different route to work. Do something that you haven't done yet. For example, did you go hiking? Would you like to go horseback riding?

Even better, something extreme makes you comprehend your life, for example, a parachute jump. Well, not with a parachute, well, with an elastic band. Yes, even a balloon flight, finally! Imagine: a huge sky, wind (there is always wind at the height) - and you are in a tiny swinging basket above the ground! That's when you want to live! Immediately, all thoughts about boredom and the impossibility of changes will disappear somewhere, and every breath will become a thrill.

If you don't want extreme, you can rethink the value of life in a different way: by visiting sick children. Orphans. Disabled people. Those who are much less fortunate. Of course, they need care and attention. However, even among them there are absolutely amazing personalities, next to whom it is a shame to be unhappy, having a healthy body, all limbs, eyes, hearing ...

All of these things will help change the way you look at your life. Such a shake-up is sometimes necessary in order not to dwell on your problems, which, in comparison with something else, often turn out to be so scanty and stupid!

So simple

Well, four weeks that will change your life is a short time, right? But everything can become completely different. After doing such a monthly reboot, you can move to the next level. To understand that previously frightening things and insurmountable obstacles were only in the head. That you can do much more. And most importantly, you want and can achieve more.

Great things are seen at a distance. Allow yourself to step back from the wall against which you were vainly banging your head - and see that in fact it was just a cardboard wall, and most importantly, it was completely easy to get around it.

One month - is it difficult?

On this I say goodbye to you and hope that amazing changes await all of us! Until next time!

And so that they definitely happen, change your thinking:


How to change your life for the better? This question, of course, worries many people. Although, if you do not understand, "What do you need this for?", it will remain rhetorical. In fact, everyone has their own way of thinking about “improving life”.

For someone, the "best" is the acquisition of material goods (buy a prestigious car, for example), and for another person - to learn to enjoy every day and. To achieve these seemingly completely different life goals, you need a big, sincere and conscious desire for positive changes in your life!

If you understand that the time has come to improve the quality of your life, this is already a big plus and the first step to positive change. After all, almost everything that happens to us is the result of our own thoughts and.

That is why I suggest that good changes start with yourself. Start thinking about yourself listen to your desires. Learning to love yourself . Dream, develop as a person, take care of your health. How to change your life for the better? We need a clear plan of action!

How to change your life for the better? 8 correct steps

Step # 1: Think About Your Life Seriously

In order to get to the next level, you need to either fundamentally not accept your present life, experience sudden stress, at one moment be fired up with the idea to change it, or go for the better in your understanding systematically and deliberately. The decision is yours.

Step # 2. Set aside a specific time for reflection

Just inform your family and friends that during this period you will turn off your mobile phone and laptop, because you will have an important business. Designate this period by time. At the same time, concentrate yourself! Remember in detail all your victories.

Analyzing achievements is much more constructive than living through failures.

Write down a list of events in which you are proud of your actions, and don't forget to include good deeds you've done, including helping an unfamiliar grandmother cross the street and feeding a stray puppy! So you will get a positive charge for changes for the better! A start!

Step # 3. Make a healthy lifestyle as a rule

Changes for the better in our life are directly related to the state of health. Smoking, overeating and lack of physical activity can nullify all positive changes. Indeed, at the most crucial moment - the moment of happiness, victory over complexes, your body can let you down.

Whatever your thoughts, whatever the phrase “changing life for the better” means to you, the unequivocal answer - of course, for the fullness of life you need maximum health.

Start preparing for future victories over yourself with proper nutrition, exercise and sleep patterns. It is not necessary to drastically change everything; it is enough to exclude semi-finished products, soda, cakes and pies from the diet. Get up early, start doing exercises. Sign up for fitness. Do not eat at night.

And if you wanted to gobble something up -. That is, to responsibly treat the needs of your body. Do not sit at the computer midnight. Run in the morning instead of exercising. Think about the dangers of smoking. Everything, as you can see, is elementary. Start small, stay on track, and you will definitely get a taste of change for the better!

Step # 4: Plan Positive Change

Dream, put on "rose-colored glasses" for a while. Positive attracts positive. If you have already believed that you can handle it and are ready for a change for the better, and more specifically, you are waiting for them with all your heart - you will definitely receive them! Make your dreams and desires, write down and wait for the result! Be as specific as possible about your wishes. Draw them in your imagination vividly and in detail.

Some self-improvement schools offer to shape your aspirations visually - simply cut out pictures that are close to you in spirit and pleasant-looking pictures from magazines, write down quotes that awaken your emotions, and place all this in a conspicuous place. By the way, it is undesirable on the refrigerator!)))). Adrenaline can induce appetite.

The most interesting, that the fulfillment of your planned positive changes can come in completely unexpected ways. Through the elapsed time, life situations, trials. You can even start to lose faith in making a difference. BUT! If you initially believe in good, you have every chance to change your life in the direction you need!

Step # 5. Think about your surroundings

This is the next step towards improving your mood and life in general. You've probably noticed that communicating with some people annoys you. Usually these are inveterate pessimists, or "energy vampires". In both cases, these people are pulling you down. Long and daily communication with them is detrimental to all aspirations for your personal better life.

But you need to clearly understand - you have your own life. Listening to, helping and supporting a person in a difficult situation is, of course, worthy of respect. But to constantly solve other people's problems at your own expense - do not allow! Be yourself!

Step number 6. Assess what you have

You live and started thinking about changes for the better. This aspiration is worthy in itself! But do not be picky, and appreciate the pleasant little things that are already in your life. The hugs of a beloved man, the smell of your favorite perfume, the sound of rain outside the window, home furnishings and other small pleasures that do not depend much on the budget.

In fact, it's great! Perhaps you just miss a little bit to feel truly happy and content. Maybe you don't need to aim at high levels, because they can destroy what you already have, your usual world ? Think, do you really want a change ?!

Step # 7. Get out of your comfort zone

To change your life (for the better, of course), you just need to change your habits and daily activities. We watched the film Always Say Yes! With D. Carrie? The main character, by coincidence and due to his mild nature, was forced to agree take all that throws up life. And as a result, his life changed for the better.

You just don’t need to give up the opportunities prepared by fate. Start small - throw away unnecessary things, delete past contacts from your phone, stop watching TV every day or hang out on social networks for a long time.

Do what you thought about, but everyone somehow hesitated. For example, forest paths, skydive (with a cute instructor for safety!) Visit the theater in evening dress and indulge in a luxurious spa!

Decide on an act unusual for you! Sign up for pole dancing, acting, pickup, or yoga classes. You will get such an adrenaline rush that you will want to keep experimenting!

Step # 8. Take action

In fact, this is the main one of all the advice on "how to change your life for the better?"“What to do for this?”, “Where to start?”, In general, on the topic of life changes in a positive direction. You can endlessly read the recommendations, attend trainings and still do nothing. Don't put off until tomorrow what you can do today!

Yes, exactly to do. Not imagine, dream, think and eventually forget. All big changes for the better in our life begin with small steps - purposeful actions. Well, we do not have a magic wand, with a wave of which you instantly acquire the life you want! To achieve qualitative changes in our own life for the better, each of us will have to work hard! Work hard to get to know yourself!

If you are ready to embark on the path of improving your life, great! Don't believe that these positive changes can happen overnight - a month or even earlier. The road to a happy, fulfilling and fulfilling life consists of constant work on yourself, your body and thoughts.

Therefore, please be patient, persistent and wise. And also a strong desire to change life and be the mistress of your own destiny. In fact, this is a great art!

If you have already decided that it is time for me in your life, but do not yet know where to start, you can choose several ideas from those suggested by my LJ friend, these are wonderful 25 ways to change your life for the better and become happy.

We often see people whose lives are riddled with suffering and full of pessimism. They complain about fate, family, work, society and state. They do not see the light at the end of the tunnel and believe that someone else is to blame for their plight. Even I, a person who is far from the most cheerful disposition, next to them seem to be an example of an energetic joker. Therefore, sometimes, when they ask me what needs to be done to change everything, I think for a while and give them a couple of tips.

Without pretending to be great achievements in the field of personal growth, in today's post I have collected all the similar things that I have ever heard, applied or advised. All of them have been tested on our own experience, and I will be glad if it is useful to someone.

1. Understand what you really like. This is both the most important and the most difficult. There will still be a separate big conversation about this, but the golden rule says - do what gives you true pleasure, and then you will become much happier. With the development of the Internet, everything has become even easier - the results of your efforts are very easy to convey to the public, and they will definitely appreciate them. What's more, having an affair that really turns you on is a key factor in attraction to the opposite sex. But one must be prepared for the fact that the search for one's own path is a marathon that can last for many (tens?) Years. (more)

2. Give up the garbage that you eat, drink and smoke every day. No secrets and cunning diets - just natural food, fruits, vegetables, water. You don't have to become a vegetarian and completely quit drinking - all you need to do is limit sugar, flour, coffee, alcohol and all plastic food as much as possible.

3.Learn foreign languages. This will unrealistically expand the depth of perception of the world and open up unprecedented prospects for training, development and career growth. Russian-speaking Internet users are 60 million. There are a billion English speakers. The center of progress is now on the other side of the border, including the linguistic one. Knowledge of English is no longer just a whim of intellectuals, but a vital necessity.

4. Read books. The approximate circle is your professional field, history, natural science, personal growth, sociology, psychology, biographies, high-quality fiction. There is no time to read because you are driving - listen to audiobooks. The golden rule is read / listen to at least one book a week. These are 50 books a year that will turn your life around.

5. Make good use of every weekend. Go to a museum, an exhibition, go in for sports, go out of town, jump with a parachute, visit relatives, see a good movie. Expand your zone of contact with the world. When you have already gone around everything and gone around, take your friends with you and tell them what you know. The main thing is not to sit still. The more impressions you pass through yourself, the more interesting life will be, and the better you will understand things and phenomena.

6. Start blogging or regular diary. It's all the same about what. It doesn’t matter that you don’t have eloquence and you will have no more than 10 readers. The main thing is that on its pages you can think and reason. And if you just regularly write about what you love, readers will definitely come.

7. Set goals. Fix them on paper, in Word or blog. The main thing is that they are clear, understandable and measurable. If you set a goal, you can either achieve it or not. If you don’t, then there are no options for achievement at all.

8. Learn to type on the keyboard blindly - not being able to do this in the 21st century is the same as not being able to write with a pen in the 20th. Time is one of the few treasures you have, and you should be able to type almost as fast as you think. And you should not think about where the required letter is located, but about what you are writing.

9. Ride the time. Learn to manage your affairs so that they work almost without your participation. First, read Allen (Getting Things Done) or Gleb Arkhangelsky. Make decisions quickly, act immediately, do not postpone it. Either do everything, or delegate to someone. Try to ensure that the ball never lingers on your side. Write down on a sheet of paper all the "long-term" affairs that have not yet been completed and are interfering with your life. Reconsider whether you need them (remembering item 1). Do what is left for a few days, and you will feel incredible ease.

10. Give up computer games, aimless sitting on social networks and stupid surfing the Internet. Minimize by communicating in social networks (up to optimization - leave only one account). Destroy the TV antenna in the apartment. In order not to be tempted to constantly check your e-mail, install an agent that will inform you about incoming messages (including on your mobile).

12. Learn to get up early. The paradox is that in the early hours you always do more than in the evening. If you leave Moscow on weekends in the summer at 7 am, then by 10 you will already be in Yaroslavl. If you leave at 10, you will be there at best for dinner. It's the same with shopping on the weekend. A person needs 7 hours of sleep, subject to high-quality physical activity and normal nutrition.

13. Try to surround yourself with decent, honest, open, smart and successful people. We are our environment from which we learn everything we know. Spend more time with people whom you respect and from whom you can learn something (it is especially important that your bosses fall into the category of such people). Accordingly, try to minimize communication with people who are negative, sad, pessimistic and angry. To become taller, you must strive upward, and the presence of people nearby whom you want to grow up to, in itself will be an excellent incentive.

14. Use every moment of time and every person in order to learn something new. If life brings you together with a professional in any field, try to understand what is the essence of his work, what are his motivations and goals. Learn to ask the right questions - even a taxi driver can be an invaluable source of information.

15. Start traveling. It doesn't matter that there is no money for Argentina and New Zealand - the quality of the rest has nothing to do with the money spent, and my best travels were to regions that are not at all pathetic and expensive. When you see how diverse the world is, you will stop obsessing over the small space around you, and you will become more tolerant, calmer and wiser.

16. Buy a camera (the simplest one is possible) and try to catch the beauty of the world. When you succeed, you will remember your travels not only by vague impressions, but also by the beautiful photographs that you brought with you. Alternatively, try drawing, singing, dancing, sculpting, designing. That is, do what will make you look at the world with different eyes.

17. Do some sports. You don't have to go to a fitness club where jocks, pick-ups, Balzac ladies and freaks hang out. Yoga, rock climbing, cycling, horizontal bar, parallel bars, football, running, plyometrics, swimming, functional training are the best friends of a person who wants to tone the body and get a burst of endorphins. And forget about what an elevator is - if you have to walk less than 10 floors, use your legs. In just 3 months of methodical work on yourself, you can change the body almost beyond recognition.

18. Do unusual things. Go where you've never been, take a different route to work, figure out a problem you don't know anything about. Get out of your "comfort zone", expand your knowledge and horizons. Rearrange the furniture at home (and do this about once a year), change your appearance, hairstyle, image.

19. Invest. Ideally, it is worth investing part of your income every month, because a rich person is not one who earns a lot, but one who invests a lot. Try to invest in assets, minimize liabilities and control expenses. If you set yourself a financial goal and put things in order in your personal money, you will be surprised at how easily you will move towards achieving it (more)

20. Get rid of the junk. Throw away any items you haven't worn or used in the past year.(you won't get to them next year either). Leave only what you really like and need. It's a pity to throw it away - hand it out. When buying a new thing, get rid of the old similar one so that the balance is maintained. Less stuff means less dust and less headaches.

21. Give more than you take. Share knowledge, experience and ideas. A person who not only takes but also shares is incredibly attractive. Surely you can do something that others really want to learn. For me, at one time, coaching became a discovery - I began to read trainings and lectures on a voluntary and free basis, which ultimately grew into a very big story that brings me great satisfaction.

22. Accept the world as it is. Give up value judgments, accept all phenomena as initially neutral. And even better - as unambiguously positive.

23. Forget about the past. It has nothing to do with your future. Take with you from there only experience, knowledge, good relations and positive impressions.

24. Do not be afraid. There are no insurmountable obstacles, and all doubts live only in your head. You don't have to be a warrior, you just need to see the goal, dodge obstacles and know that you will achieve it without a single chance of failure.

25. The last, it is the first. Do what you like. Learn. Teach. Develop. Change yourself from the inside.

This is by no means an exhaustive list. But even if you systematically do at least some of this, then after a year, looking at yourself in the mirror, you will not recognize yourself. And the world simply has nothing left but to follow your example and change in response.