"I always ask:" What do you think, what do your relationship with your father affect? Why do you need to go there? Testing, perhaps, not always pleasant feelings, disturbed well-planned sad memories? ". Maximum that the most brave and well-read answers can be answered: "Because the dad affects a relationship with a man."

In this article, I want to consider in the most detail: what your relationship with your father is affected. At the end of the ladies, several operational methods for solving requests.

There are three stages of residence of the situation (according to I. I. Ilin): the prompting, acceptance and implementation (accommodation). Try not just to read, but to live an article in these stages.

Stage 1. Coverage

Relations with the Father form your self-esteem

Father, as the first figure, not Mom, in the life of the girl forms her first assessment of himself. What does dad say? What does in relation to her? How does it apply?

The ideal scheme is when the father admires his daughter: "You are my princess," you are my beauty. " Such words and real attitude will be erected on a pedestal any.

I will never forget a familiar. Externally, it is far from perfection, but among other men always chose her. Previously, for me it was a mystery. But when I met her father and saw their relationship, everything fell into place. He literally manned her, performed her desires, he answering everything that she said.

Here is the opposite situation: a girl came to me for the consultation. Her request was that she was saving "bad boys" all the time, and then they throw it.

When we began to understand, it turned out that she grew almost without her father. More precisely, he always had, but never communicated with her.

Usually these girls have no self-confidence. Men feel it.

When the girl did not receive love from the first man of her life, she did not have the first matrix of evaluating himself. To appreciate yourself, she needs to hear another opinion. The inner matrix was transformed into external.

Think like your father affected your self-esteem?

Relations with the Father form your intuition

How much do I allow you to trust yourself? As far as I listen and hear myself? What are my relationship with fears?

The ideal scheme is "Little Brave Ellie." Do you remember the fairy tale "The Wizard of the Emerald City"? How did the brave and easily Ellie survived a storm?

The opposite case, when something negative happens in your life, and you can not come to yourself for a long time. For example, the girl took the car on a stradition. And she can not come to themselves. Because he does not hear themselves, but their fears. Often we call such women with impressionable and change

How is your intuition developed? How do you fight your fear? How trusted the universe?

Relations with the Father form your financial condition

How are my relationships with money? How easily they come to me? How do I treat them?

The perfect condition is a pleasure, joy and respect in one bottle. Money gives me pleasure. When they come to me, I feel and show in outside my emotions. I take care of the money with great respect: gently storing them, I hold in a good wallet worthy of their wallet, I consciously fold, I plan and distribute.

The reverse version will demonstrate the history of my student. At the training "Make a husband Millionaire or become a rich herself," she said that all his life was afraid of money, he believes that they are not for her. When I asked what? The girl admitted that the same thing: she was afraid of him all his life. Mom always said that Dad is busy, it can not be distracted.

Small diagnostic exercise:allow yourself to analyze relationships with money. Take a sheet of paper, divide it into two parts. Name the first half "with money I ...", write as many verbs as possible.

In the second half write "Money", write there the adjectives that come to your mind. Then look carefully and replace the word "money" on the word "dad". What happened?

Relations with the Father form your goals

Dad forms a child's attitude to work and to success.

A good option when you all turn out: you are easily moving through the career ladder, seek goals, are considered ideal.

But if someone all the time "suits"? If there is always one who is more successful? Reason remember. Who did he compare you all the time? How did you feel about your successes emotionally and physically? How did you belong to your defeats? Could you discuss these topics?

Relations with the Father form your relationship with men

How do they treat you? How do you feel about them?

One day a girl came to me for the consultation: "I want to find a man. The problem is that I do not notice me as a woman. They are friends with me, but there is no love. "

Not only externally, but internally looked like a boy. When we touched upon relationships with the Father, it turned out that her dad had always dreamed of her son. He was a coach of the male karate team. Since childhood, our heroine has walked with a dad to workout, wore pants and shorts and even got a black belt.

Diagnostic exercise: Take a sheet of paper and write the "qualities of the perfect man." First, 20 qualities, emphasize them. Then 10 more, emphasize. Then another 5. Try to write without thinking, turning the logic as much as possible.

The first 20 qualities dictated your logic. These qualities are an application for the outside world. The second 10 wrote your heart. The last 5 wrote the body - this is what you can't do without.

Now analyze that from these qualities and how was your father in relation to you?

If you honestly answered questions, did all the exercises, I remembered the relationship with the Pope, the first stage - the urge - passed. This is 80% of success.

Maybe now you are sad sigh and ask: "What to do with it? How to live on? " Let's deal with ...

Stage 2. Adoption

Let's consider the frequent options for negative scenarios in the relationship of the father and daughter. Let's figure out what to do with them. According to Jung's theory, the image of the father is formed by the degree of responsibility on the line, where 1 is weakness, and 10 is a supercontrolle.

Scenario First: Weak Father

With a low degree of responsibility for yourself, for the family, for the daughter. "Eternal Youth." Such men have a clearly pronounced feminine (female) behavior. They do little, dream a lot and their implementation in society often remains at the level of fantasies.

They work for survival, drowning the desire to act diseases, alcohol, drugs, computer games or sexual pleasures. Behind their words do not stand anything. They are eternal dreamers. They tell the daughters of the story about how they will come, or something will give something, or is about to do something, but never implement these promises.

Scenario Second: Head-Control Father

For such a father, the rules in the first place. If something comes against the rules, it can exercise excessive cruelty in punishments, considering it normal.

Their life is subordinate to the rules, often they even choose the military. Such fathers are successful in his career. They also have difficulties with the manifestation of emotions.

Heavy-controlled fathers are seriously related to any changes. Therefore, problems with daughters begin in the transition period when girls are aware of themselves women.

Daughter script: "Controlling Amazon"

Based on the reaction to the actions of the Father, the daughter has a degree of responsibility: from weak to strong, from an eternal girl to controlling Amazon.

For example, if the daughter does not accept a weak father, it forms an image "Controlling Amazon" - Women who can hope only for themselves, she does not trust anyone in this life, she trying to protect the world as much as possible.

The same image is formed if the girl plays the role of a good girl for a supercontrollable father. She studies well at school, trying to be an approximate girl. Her desire to be the first turns into perfectionism to the outside world, and especially to himself.

Such a girl punishes itself for the slightest weakness, for example, after a small piece of cake, the week does not come out of the gym.

Scenario of the daughter "Eternal Girl"

The script originates when the girl takes his "weak" father and is trying to be like him. She is interested in bad habits, leaves home, early begins his sexual experience.

Or the image is formed as a result of a "supercontrollable" father. He called him walking, not learning, leaves home, etc.

Exercise: Find your father's "responsibility" line and yourself. Where are you? They say truth somewhere in the middle. We are peculiar to the moments of responsibility and irresponsibility.

For a happy woman "4" is a good norm, where weakness and power are combined, and for a man - norm 7, where his power prevails over weakness. And it is characterized by its activity and effectiveness. Analyze according to the degree of responsibility of men who were in your life.

At this stage, that you look like your father in its bright and dark manifestations. Mentally imagine him opposite herself. And tell me: "Dad, I like you, and you like me. Because I'm 50% of you. "

Stage 3. Accommodation

For a woman, it is important to have harmonious relationship with the Father, it is important to show respect for the Father, to experience sincere acceptance and gratitude to him. However, it is difficult to do. We continue to live with "stone for the sinus".

If the daughter does not forgive his father, then often these problems go into relationships with her husband. If she does not solve the problem in relations with her husband, they are moving to the relationship with the son.

Or to punish yourself, a woman subconsciously attracts a man into his life, which in a painful form indicates to her for these shortcomings.

Hazard hides pain, pain hides anger. It is impossible to "understand, forgive, take," while there is pain and anger. The more pain, the more anger. Often, women who are afraid of their emotions are afraid to express anger, attract neurotics and psychopaths, or they themselves provoke into aggression. Depressed angry inside provokes its manifestation outside.

How to take your father?

We work in detail with the liberation of pain and anger. In the meantime, start every day for 28 days to make this process.

Exercise "I am publishing my anger." You represent your father. Remember insult and pain. Take a pillow and 2 minutes energetically beat it. Then say out loud: "I forgive you dad ,. I take my resentment and transform them into love. I take you dad. I like you, and you like me. I take 50% of myself. "I am sure that after the exercise you will feel not only happier, but easier and freer. I will not be surprised if your man becomes calmer and takes responsibility towards you.

The topic of the relationship of the father and daughter, of course, much deeper than the article. If you allow yourself to "live" the text, responding to questions and doing exercises, your personal self-esteem will grow, and with it the attitude from men will change.

Be happy. I endlessly believe in you.

P.S. If you want to work out the topic of relationships with your father more deeply, come, or write down, it is possible to go into Skype format.

The value of the majority is to a matured child separated from the parent family, I felt an independent person, and really turned into such. Separated energetically and informationally, and created for myself own programs of behavior in life, own rules of the game.
In reality, the compartment on the physical plan can only be visibility if problems with someone from the parents (or who brought up a child) are not solved, there is no adoption, no own solutions for such situations in the future are not found. In this case, the adult is already a child subconsciously uses copied parents' programs in life, even if consciously protests against it. Therefore, if someone has unresolved problem in relationships with someone from parents - This problem is dragged in life, transferred to other people, satellites of life. A person continues to subconsciously find out the relationship until he forgive, will take and let go of the past. As a result, other people who have been made from the "problem" parent, are not perceived as it is, and relationships with them are not harmonious. If it is not yet collapsed about it, they can be restored by worrying relationships with the parent, having sorted them with each other, and accepting the partner as it is. I will give examples of practical work.
While working with the topic "Do not make up relations with men" With E. A large mass-root was discovered (the root shows the karmic nature of the problem). The beginning in this life was complex relationships. with Father. The reason was that she was an unwanted child, during pregnancy, his father left the family, and then returned under pressure. Father did not accept her, criticized her, called, compared with other children, strongly controlled, prohibited that other children could be done. E. Feeling inappreciation, and protested, did not give up his father, conflicted with him always.
After the forgiveness and adoption of the Father, the studies of everything related to the birth of E., in the mass appeared image of a husband. Let me remind you, Father E. did not accept. To the question of what a problem with her husband, the answer came - to defeat it as it is. The situation in which it was manifested - husband boasts, and E. It is very annoying. They began to discuss, and she said that her husband's boasting simply shall. Explanation, why Besilo - "I tried to show myself a hero, and I knew that it was a lie that he was not like that."
I thought why was it so inforous? As you know, a person annoys what he does not accept itself. It remains to find that it is. Breasting is to talk about yourself well, show yourself better than others. Once E. It annoyed, it means that she can not afford to talk about itself well. And why? Where does it come from, I asked her?
In response, the image of the Father. His words, when he scolded her daughter with neglecting "What are you writing out of yourself!" When E. spoke about himself something good. So she has been fixed subconsciously, that talking about itself well - it is bad, it is impossible. The record has been preserved in the subconscious with the humiliation of the words of the Father, and the protest against him.
When the husband began to brag up, E. This mass was activated, and there were irritation, and his father from there, and her. These programs "played" in reality in relation to her husband. After E. cleaned the situation with his father, he allowed himself to talk about himself well, praise himself, her husband's boasting ceased to cause a negative response. There was a calm. But the root mass has not yet dissolved. There again seemed the image of the husband. This time record situations with his jealousy. Began to understand, and E. uttered the phrase that attracted my attention. To the question of why he led himself, she said that the relationship was finished internally.
I wonder why where such an opinion come from? What was it found on? First, E. explained this by the fact that the sexual relationship did not make together, she did not feel like a woman. Then it turned out that she was unpleasant to her husband, she was annoyed, angry, and sex or was not at all, or E. did not receive pleasure.
To the question, why it began, the situation came when the husband with anger said on E. "Bitch" and a few more offensive words. Her after that immediately cut off from him. Right raised. And why where does such a reaction come from? And then the image of the Father again appeared. He often called E, fearing so that she would not walked in his youth. And E. It was very disappointing to listen, because She did not give any reasons. The response to the words of the father has accumulated, with these words, the humiliation was associated, defeat itself as women, anger, insult. In general, a whole bouquet.
And it was worth her husband to say "cherished words", as all this negative was subconsciously projected on it. From this point on, the husband subconsciously equal to his father was his father. What a sex here :))). Yes, the Father, scolding with dirty words. By the time of our work with her husband, E. Died, she had new relations. But the adoption of her husband, accepting his family life, caused a powerful coup in its subconscious, in Aure. Strong energy flows on the right side (responsible for relations with a man), the state, activity, perception of life has changed. Everything fell into place. It turns out that the husband was quite good, everything was fine. And the relationship with the current man can be built without struggle and confrontation, but with adoption. Detailed methods of holographic therapy, the main energy-informational lesions of the aura, and ways to work with them, work with karma, is described with relations in

Your attitude to mother forms your personal life, the personal life of your children, your health and health of your children (your kind)! Mother is the first guru in our lives, if the relationship with the mother is not established, it is not necessary to talk about a full spiritual self-improvement. Harmonious relationship with mother is a reflection of the evolutionary level of a person and the key to solving many problems in a person's life!

Your attitude to the Father forms your ideas, your intuition, ease of money mining, financial well-being, your goals (the clarity of knowledge of what you want in life), your career (its success).

About a simple way, how to work out generic channels (relationship with mother and father) tells Dmitry Trotsky in two videos, which are lower.

More important points on the study of relationships with the mother and how to meet your life satellite:

How to ask for forgiveness:

So, for the study of generic channels, we use for forgiveness (asking forgiveness) and the strength of gratitude (express gratitude). Here is the article "Letters of Gratitude"

What are the most often treated for a psychologist?

With what problems, complaints, people do care for help?

• Relationships with a partner are not treated.
• Problems in personal life.
• Confident march according to the same rake.
• The feeling of total loneliness (even being in relationships).
• Difficulties in interaction with society, for example, at work - with a team or boss.
• Difficulties in making money.
• Depending and addiction.
• Problems in establishing boundaries (for example, the inability to say "no").
• Insecurity, low self-esteem.
• Impossibility to control yourself, your feelings, emotions: fears, resentment, guilt, shame, jealousy, envy, anger.
• Psychosomatics.

And what is the surprise of a person when his request for establishing relationships in the family - with children, with a partner, a psychologist begins to "dig":

- And what about mom? What is your relationship with her?

Or you come with a "simple" seemingly the task - to clarify the relationship with the chief, to move through the career ladder and break through, finally, the current financial ceiling, and the question of you here:

- And please tell me, what are your relationship with dad?

Of course, now, in the era of the Internet, the big abundance of trainings and information technologies, only the lazy does not know that not only we all come from childhood, but our problems are also from there.

And if you are aimed at solving the problem as a whole, and not on a temporary polishing to give a light shine, then, probably, already know that it is necessary to work deeply and seriously.

Some choose forget and close, pretend to do not hurt.

For the time being, they play insensitive until time, until it shares.

By health, for example ... by business… by family.

The second (or the first, but then) spend years on therapy to free themselves from the tight feeling of guilt or resentment on someone from their parents for disliked, nedodynted, have not called, misunderstood, under ... under ...

And, yes, over time, this pain lives, healed, subsides.

Third (or the second, but then) are looking for more operational and effective ways to solve their problems, combine, are not afraid to try, courage to go, sometimes, in the most "pecked" to feel finally release.

There are also fifth, seventh and eighteenth, but not all count.

And I have no task to lean you to the first, third or seventh.

I only share what I have.

After all, I also, like you, for many years I was looking for answers to exciting questions - how is this world arranged? Why alone everything, and other remnants? Where do diseases come from, and how to be healthy? Why do not taste relationships, and how do they still establish them? How to find yourself - your place, calling, purpose, and what else happens there?

I found some answers in modern psychology, some in the ancient practices of many nations, and for some specially and many times went east, to India.

And what I am sharing now is a quintessence, or a combined extract, which includes the ancient wisdom of the East in combination with modern psycho-technologies of the West.

This combination gives the effect of synergies when 1 + 1 \u003d 11, or 111, or even more.

"All relationships in your life reflect relationships with parents, and you copy exactly what happens between you and parents.

Thus, the relationship that you have in the family, with friends or on work depend on your relationship with parents. As soon as they are settled, everything falls into place. Life is a relationship.

If you have a terrible relationship with your father, then most likely you will have financial problems. If the relationship with the mother does not heal, then you will encounter additional obstacles in life. Because life is a relationship.

How does this happen? When these relationships are settled, something happens to the heart. The heart, in turn, is associated with the brain that transmits signals. For example, someone needs money and does not give up. As soon as relationships with the Father are getting up, the heart transmits a signal to the brain. The brain is an energy conductor, the debtor receives these energies and returns you money. "

Father and daughter's relationship is a special topic for conversation. Each girl wants to be a "father's daughter" - to feel love, protection and support from the first man who met her in life.

Unfortunately, not every man can wear a proud fowl. Someone does not at all take part in the upbringing of the daughter, and someone is enough for the purchase of another toy and rare arms.

Psychologists are convinced that the relationship between father and daughter determine the worldview of the "Little Woman", its manners of behavior and communication with men in the future.

The short-sighted dads have a destructive impact on the person and cause wounds that are not destined to delay even across decades.

The reasons for the formation of child injury due to the fault of the fathers:

• father, belonging to bad habits, a player, the unemployed is condemned by society, and the daughter has a persistent feeling of shame;
• a man does not take part in the upbringing (died, sick, divorced);
• excessive hyperemp and patriarchy;
• coldness and emotionalness;
• panishness - if everything is allowed to be a child with a young nail, he stops perceiving dad as authority.

What is the result? Having matured daughter either continues to live in the same way, accusing men in his insolvency, or is trying to adapt in society.

Father and daughter: why do the relationship deteriorate?

Dad for a girl is not just a person who can easily raise her in his arms or a secret from mom to feed the candy.

Looking at the Father, daughter is the model of his future family and studies the quality inherent in men.

Great, if the father is a wise and responsible person who is aware of his family role! But more often the opposite happens. Conditionally "bad fathers" can be divided into two groups:

1. Eternal child. Father's relations and daughter teenager remind the game of the peers.

Such dads remain eternal children, passing before difficulties. The girl loses faith in his father, grows insecure.

It takes all the burden on their shoulders, because her men are associated with teenagers who cannot take care of themselves.

Such fathers have lost the taste of life, they easily annoyed on trifles, with children communicate remindingly and cold.

A girl since childhood learns to hide their emotions, it is under tight control and actually does not have the right to vote.

How to establish relations between father and daughter? This is possible only if reconciliations are eager for both sides.

Most often it happens that in adulthood a man is aware of his mistakes and himself comes to contact. Only the daughter is no longer interested in this, because time is hopelessly missed.

Psychologists divided girls with children's injuries and complexes for two psychotypes

Type "Eternal Girl"

"Eternal Girl" is a psychotic dependent and irresponsible woman. Even at 50, it is afraid to make important decisions and depends on the opinions of others.

Often she chooses in husband the full opposite of the father - an authoritarian and powerful person. Bad relationships with the Father in an adult daughter lead to a complete restriction of communication.

All her life is the theater, she is trying on various roles.

Broken doll. Outwardly cute and feminine, and inside empty. Such women are offended and exposed to frequent outbreaks of anger.

They are dependent on the opinion of society and realize that the life does not belong to them. Try manipulate husbands, claiming their power.

Porcelain statuette. A fragile girl who lives in the world of his dreams and is looking for an ideal lover.

The father of participation in the upbringing did not accept, therefore, the example of a real man before his eyes was not.

For the "figurines" relationship with men - unjustified risk, it is difficult to trust and get out of the personally created dome.

Soaring in the clouds. Impulsive and unmanaged women. They are above all appreciated their freedom and lead an active lifestyle.

Do not love restrictions and order imposed by society. Long relationships and commitments are skillfully avoid.

A frequent cause of such behavior is the jealousy of his daughter to his father in a new relationship and a shortage of attention.

Woman sacrifice. So the daughters grow, who experienced a feeling of shame due to their own father.

They lead passive and inert life, may suffer from dependence.

"Victims" do not choose an equal partner. Trying to avoid the fate of the mother, the girls still marry a person resembling father.

"Eternal Girls" Easy to Absolut: They either lock their feelings into the cage, or completely reject all the rules and boundaries.

They consider themselves to blame themselves in all or to hoarsely defend their innocence.

The first step to the transformation is to accept yourself, an objective assessment of its capabilities, an analysis of the situation.

Path to transformation

It is necessary to sort out yourself, understand the problem that limits you and prevents from living. It may be necessary to help a specialist.

We need to mentally return to childhood and understand that it served as a "trigger" for the current manner of behavior.

The next step is to stop feeling a victim. Learn to take responsibility, develop a decisiveness.

It is important to understand that even a weak woman has a huge inner force! Weakness became simply a form of self-defense, it prevents breathing with full breasts and live normally.

You need to recognize the presence of a choice. Fixture, riot and alienation are not the best ways to join the society. The transformation process will be complex and durable, but it will bring his fruits!

Type "Amazon in Pancira"

Remember the legend about the island of Amazons? How many men lived on it? That's right! This type of women depreciates the male floor, refers to it negatively, and even hostile.

Externally, "Amazons" may seem successful, independent and confident. However, if you dig deeper, the uncompaning feeling of loneliness and devastation will appear.

The cause of such a state is an irresponsible or non-imperious father. The daughter at the conscious level rejects his parent (and men in general), since her life experience suggests that it is impossible to rely on it.

It is easier for her to avoid everything that is not amenable to control. Templates of the behavior of "Amazons" differ from the "eternal girls."

Superstar. The desire to realize yourself and ensure that the father could not. Such women are famous workaholics who are ready to even spend the night at work.

There is simply no other meaning in life. They are pedantic, stingy on emotions, with men keep the distance.

May be stinging and cynical, but behind the rubble phrases hides the fear of being rejected.

Submissive daughter. From her childhood, something requires something and it conquers, adapts and adjusts. At first it is a good daughter, then - an exemplary spouse.

These women largely depend on the opinion of society, often experienced devastation and emotional exhaustion, cannot realize themselves in work and work.

Martyr. Such women are passive, touchy, ready for self-sacrifice. The mask of eternal suffering was frozen on their face.

They carefully suppress emotions, they drown out their natural femininity and sexuality. In relation to her husband, behavior's manner is very similar to the maternal.

Martyrdom for a woman is a protective reaction from experiences.

In the depths of the soul, such wives and mothers crave for recognition and in the future easily playing the feelings of the guilt of loved ones.

Warper. Strong women who take responsibility for the family. Men are considered weaklings and believe that only on their own is able to succeed.

Father such a daughter despises and rejects. Every day for her - a new battle, but such a life is insane. His feminine, the warrior hides under reliable armor.

All of the above types unites one thing: the desire to control your life.

Some women become hyperspical, others are weak and submissive. They are ready to deny their feelings and abandon close relationships, because they are unable to control them. "Amazons" cannot realize themselves in creativity.

They are in constant voltage - it is not surprising that, with such overloads, nervous breakdowns regularly occur.

Path to transformation

The first step: a woman must realize what armor they throw her emotions and do not give normally. Realize and take their weaknesses.

If the "Eternal Girl" of her weaknesses lie on the surface, then "Amazon" hides their own under a strong shell, because it is above all appreciated power and masculinity.

Such a woman must admit that he imposes a man's nature and is afraid to show femininity.

One day does not fall into the shackles, but you can try to become softer, take a step towards relationships on equal.

Sometimes two psychotypes are combined. And for the inappreats to the Amazon, a frightened girl is lucked.

Both sides of the person represent value. It is important to integrate them so that they bring benefits.

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