Relationships in psychology definition. Psychology of relationship

a holistic system of individual, electoral, conscious relations with various parties of objective reality.

In addition, the assessment as a category of psychological science involves a certain emotional attitude (disapproval of disapproval) to the phenomenon under consideration and may be a projection (in addition to the existing objective criteria) of human self-assessment. As an attitude and the assessment to a large extent may depend on the level of self-esteem of a person, the degree of its acceptance of themselves as a whole. They can also lose plasticity, adequacy, become rigid. In their functioning, similar patterns can be found, close socio-psychological mechanisms. Another close category is the category "interest". Interest -the concept characterizing objectively meaningful, necessary for the individual, family of the team, class, nation, society as a whole. According to the concept of V. N. Mezishchev, interests, as well as the needs, motives, evaluations are included in the relation structure.

In psychology, interest is a positive emotional attitude to the object, focusing on it. Of interest is activated, organizes human cognitive activities.

Classification of types of relationships

The classification of the types of relationships of people during the interaction was presented as follows (Kunitsyn, Panferov, 1992).

Mental relationsreflected in the attractiveness of the object of interaction for a person in the "selective objective orientation of its mental activity" (meatsychev, 1960).

Psychological relations -this is a holistic system of individual, electoral, conscious personal relationships with various sides of objective reality. The content of psychological relations make up the needs, feelings, interests, beliefs, motives, will.

Socio-psychological relations -these are various forms of the relationship of people arising in their joint livelihoods on the basis of direct interaction and personal communication.

Relationship -counter integrated relations of people who manifest themselves in group effects of cooperation, competitions, cohesion, compatibility, friendship, mutual assistance; They are also manifested in the qualities of the individual characterizing the psychological features of a person (sociability, charming, aggressiveness, shyness).

Concept "personal relationships"it is denoted by the connection of a person with a person as a subject of interaction. This is a relationship to personal advantages and properties of a particular person. It may not coincide in content with the existing relationship. For example, a psychological distance between people, being a reflection of the real or expected contact, is established in the first phases of this contact in the Diade, is determined by a number of situational and personal parameters (first of all, the identity orientation) and can be estimated differently by participants in interpersonal interaction.

Self-relationit is expressed in acceptance or rejection of oneself as a whole, in self-esteem and self-esteem, determines the nature of relationships and interactions, the ability to establish close trust relationships with people.

Socio-psychological relations

various forms of the relationship of people arising in their joint livelihoods on the basis of direct interaction and personal communication.

Personal relationships

communication of a person with a person as a subject of interaction; attitude to personal advantages and properties of a particular person who cannot coincide in content with existing relationships.

Self-relation

it is expressed in acceptance or rejection of oneself as a whole, in self-esteem and self-esteem.

When studying interpersonal contact confidence communication, important methodological problems should be considered: whether we are studying communication through relationships, or relationships through communication.

In psychological literature, these concepts can be identified. We present a fairly well-known and already criticized in the works of J. L. Koloming judgment V. M. Sokovnina:

"Communication can be considered as a personal attitude. Regardless of whether the communicative act about a purely personal subject of communication or as such is an intersubjective subject (when the individual represents any commonality in communication), it is committed as a personal attitude and manifests itself in the form of subjective influences, expressions of sympathy (antipathy), feelings, claims, etc. " (Sokovnin, 1973, p. 79-80).

However, in earlier work, V. M. Sokovnin rightly notes: "... since it is commonly communication that makes the relationship of people who can conclude that communication is the party of human relations" (Sokovnin, 1973, p. 91). Even more definitely, this thought expresses A. A. Leontiev: "Communication is the actualization of relations" (Leontyev, 1974, p. 31).

Relationships, being a more stable characteristic of communicating people for a significant period of time, determine the nature, features, intensity of individual contacts.

1. Appeal to a person in the course of interaction is a form of expression of relations and establishing or confirming the already existing distance.

2. The most important function of interpersonal communication is the formation of interpersonal relations. Communication is nothing but the actualization of human relations.

3. Installations and relationships are close categories, but in certain aspects vary. Installations are formed on the basis of personal experience of the individual, motivation processes play a much smaller role in their occurrence than in the formation of relations. Social settings, in contrast to relationships, develop only in relation to socially significant objects.

Basic concepts

Communication

Attityud.

Psychological relations

Socio-psychological relations

Relationship

Personal relationships

Self-relation

1. What is the role of circulation in the process of communication and in the formation of interpersonal relations?

3. What types of relationships can you allocate?

Task

Check how inclined to follow the sociocultural communication standards by performing this test.

Test "Is it important for bac decency"

1. Friends passing by, decided to look at you. Their call is distributed just at the moment when you are going to dine.

a) you immediately invite them to the table; b) you offer them a glass of water; c) you, unfortunately, you can not accept them, because you have a terribly headache.

2. At school you were:

a) a good student; 6) a dreamer; c) completely undisciplined.

a) party activities; b) the activities of a separate candidate; c) performances and promises.

4. What style of clothes do you consider most suitable for the secretary?

a) jeans and blouse; b) costume; c) pants and jumper.

5. Which of these three sayings seems to you the most correct?

a) any cricket know your sixth; b) what was, then passed and their boil; B) Habit - the second nature.

6. What do you think is most important in our days?

a) have a good education; b) be prepared for any changes; c) make a family.

7. How do you feel about what others say?

a) you don't care about it; b) unfortunately, you have to live in society; c) you prefer to stay unnoticed.

8. You attend some family holidays only for the sake of compliance with decency:

a) quite often; b) rarely; c) never.

9. You were invited to the wedding of a second brother's son of your native cousin.

a) you send a telegram with congratulations; b) you sincerely regret what are busy on this day, and send a gift; c) you buy yourself a dress or costume for this holiday.

10. What of these three professions would you prefer: a) actor; b) the pilot; c) football player.

11. If you had the opportunity to relax as you want, you would prefer:

a) a perfectly equipped tourist machine; b) a small secluded cottage (villa); c) Two weeks per year spend in a great home holiday or sanatorium.

12. When you invite friends for dinner, what are you doing?

a) take a culinary book; b) you have several recipes that you constantly alternate; c) you try to cook something completely new each time.

Question numbers and "cost" of choice

but

Interpretation of results

If you have scored more than 20 points (with a maximum of 36 points), it means that you have any things that can be done, and a lot of such actions that can be simply impossible. You are not of those who can go to visit someone, just passing by and envy in the light window. For each visit you are carefully prepared and never go to visit without an invitation, as well as let's understand about the inadmissibility of this to a random unexpected visit. You are a solid supporter of behavior consistent with ideas about the decency and norms of the human dormitory.

If you scored from 10 to 20 points, it means that you are not a rebel and believe that in society you need at least a minimum of discipline, otherwise life will turn into a nightmare.

Although you do not always follow the accepted standards, but before you make some deviationing actions, weigh all the "for" and "against".

If you scored less than 10 points, it means that you often do impulsively, you live without a well-thought-out plan, carefully take care of your reputation and, as a rule, do not follow the rules and decenings.

additional literature

Ananyev B. G.Psychology of sensual knowledge. - L., 1960.

Kagan M. S., Etkinda. M.Communication as value and as creativity // Questions of psychology. - 1988. - № 4. - P. 25-34.

Kunitsyn V.N., Panferov V.N.The problem of the relationship of the individual in the works of V. N. Mezishchev. // Psychological magazine. - 1992. - № 3.

Meatishchev V. N.The main problems and the current state of the psychology of relations of a person // Psychological science in the USSR. - M., 1960. - T. 2.

Sokovnin V. M.On the nature of human communication. - Frunze, 1973.

Schapanian.Elementary concepts of sociology. - M., 1969.

The attitude is a significant category for the development of psychology. Since the beginning of the twentieth century, this category was used in the context of generallyological issues as a methodological principle of describing the interaction of the body with a medium. V. N. Mezishchev revealed the essence of the concept of "attitudes" as a form of reflection by a person of his surrounding reality.

However, according to Petrovsky and Yaroshevsky in the "Fundamentals of Theoretical Psychology", the attitude is a collective concept, and therefore, it is questionable by appropriate to consider it a separate category and the impossibility of its rewardability to other categories. Why is this concept still stands out in a separate categorical apparatus?

It is known that a person is developing in close relationship with its surrounding reality, wherein it refers, first of all, society. Personality is not a certain one formed and non-defined mental education, but a dynamic, subject to numerous external and, above all, social impacts are changing formation. In the future, this concept can be fragmented on countless personality relationships to various subjects, but the essence will not change - the attitude in any case remains personal. Whether it is about human experiences, a motive that encourages it to certain actions, etc. - In all these wide variety of circumstances, the individual is repelled from the manifestation of a mental organization, which indicates the concept of "attitude". And at this stage V.N. Meatsischev is inclined to believe that all the characteristic properties of the individual, its interests, inclinations, worldview, tastes, motives and much more are derived from the relation system.

First of all, the main distinguishing feature of the aforementioned category is the focus of the subject to the object, and the latter, in turn, may be anything, although even the subject itself. We treat in a certain way to the people around us, art, politics, religion themselves. And here we are talking about the very essence of the relationship, the vectorization of the mental act speaking in a special mental form other than other categories (the same motive). A good example is the situation in political elections. The candidate ratings do not allow to judge the motives of the person whose attitude to the event in this rating is captured.

In all cases, we have a basic psychological category with its status. Attempts to pull the wealth of other categories are equally unpromising as the universalization of the image category in Gestaltteoria and the categories of action in behaviorism.

Another important feature of the relationship as a category is its estimated component. The human relationship is a conscious and unconscious, election, experience-based psychological relationship with various parties of objective reality, expressing in its actions, reactions and experiences. In turn, they are formed and form in the processes of activity. And here I consider it necessary to move towards the most important concept of "feeling", as a human relationship and as a concept that can be rooted directly into several categorical apparatuses.

Feelings are the steady emotional relations of a person to the reality phenomena associated with its needs and motives; The highest product development of emotional processes in social conditions. Feelings are formed in the process of human social development and change depending on specific social conditions, as the individual consciousness is developing under the influence of educational influences of the family, school, art. In the formation of the personality of the sense, the hierarchical system is organized in which one of them occupy the leading position, others are potential. In the content of the dominant feelings of a person, its ideological installations are expressed, that is, the most important characteristics of his personality. That is, it can be concluded that the most importantly and determining personality is its attitude towards the surrounding.

Psychologists have repeatedly noted that the personality can prevail organic, personal or ultra-silent (public) goals, motives and needs. In essence, we are talking about the dominant relationship, that is, more or less activity, reactivity, efficiency in relation to one or another objects. Just how the objects of the surrounding reality have a different importance for a person, in the system of its relationship there is a hierarchy of dominant and subordinate relations. This system is constantly changing, develops, but always defining the relationship between people, in general, due to the structure of society.

In relation to the person, the objective and subjective aspects are distinguished towards various sides of reality. The objective relationship in which people enter into the process of their livelihoods, and subjective reflection of these relations in the form of thoughts, feelings and evaluations, constitute two genetically related layers of relations. In this case, the subjective aspect of the relationship is within the real life relations of a person, and does not act as their assessment, and real (objective) relations, in turn, determine the meaningful context of the formation of subjective relations. The subjective reality of a person acts not only by reflection, but also internal content of its real relationships.

Speaking about the objective and subjective component of the relationship, it is impossible to do without the concept of installation. Installations help us form a relationship depending on the properties of the object. David Statt believes that the installation is the acquired predisposition to react to certain phenomena in a certain way. It includes three active components: rational, emotional, behavioral. Installation can be purchased as unconsciously and quite consciously.

The rational component is our opinion about the object, emotional - our feelings in relation to the object, and behavioral - actual behavior in relation to the object. Without certain installations, we rely more on the emotional component and show your attitude in simple terms like "Like" or "Dislike."

Installations perform several motivational functions:

- Protective function - installations that protect us from negative feelings in relation to themselves when we project negative feelings on other people;
- Evaluation-expressive functions - installations are a way to express attitude to those subjects and phenomena that are important for us;
- Tool functions - we accept certain installations and express them as your attitude if they help to achieve recognition or avoid the disapproval of others;
- The functions of knowledge - installation help us organize the world around the world in comparative terms (for example, "like" or "do not like") and allow you to predict some events.

Another researcher Gordon Alport considers social attitudes as unconscious, but in certain way regulating people's interaction. The main installation, it considers the deterrence setting - the presence of other people connects a whole set of installations for relationships with them. Moreover, this applies not only to the real presence of outsiders, but also the presence of an imaginary face. This installation is not aware of a person. "We have a ready-made range of reactions for an answer in the presence of people," Alport writes. - A simple presence of another person makes us more control our reactions than when we are alone. We must restrain themselves in order not to take the whole road, must comply with the rules of politeness, be subject to language or emotional expression, suppress primitive sexual inclinations, to behave with dignity. " The identity relation is psychic

The study of relations represents the necessary approach to psychology, which combines objective with subjective, external with the inner. Relations exist between the person of a person - the subject and the object of his relationship. The attitude is implemented or manifested in the external factor, but at the same time the attitude expresses the internal "subjective" personality world. Personality is a subject of relationships as well as a subject of external activity.

Summing up the human relationship, we can consider them as a potential of electoral activity of a person in connection with the various parties of reality. They mean a person characterize the human activity, they are not manifested by any one side of the psyche, but express the entire person in her connection with one or another side of the activity. They are characterized by the greater activity of mental processes, the more significant for the personality the object of the relationship, differing in a positive or negative sign. The higher the level of personality development, the more difficult and the processes of mental activity and the differentiation of her relationship.

Bibliography

1. Meshcheryakov B.G., Zinchenko V.P. "Great Psychological Dictionary";
2. A.V. Petrovsky, MG Yaroshevsky "Fundamentals of Theoretical Psychology";
3.N. Meatsischev "Psychology of Relations";

The category "attitude" is one of the main psychological science, along with such as "reflection", "activity", "Communication". It performs a gnoseological function when developing problems of character, motifs, installations, value orientations, individual dispositions, social and psychological climates and many other related manifestation of human subjective properties.

The idea of \u200b\u200bthe relationship is rich in the space of its potential meanings. It includes the ideas of integrity, subject-object communications, activity, development, relevance, potentiality, interaction, activities, sociality (dialogue), reflexiveness, creativity. The problem of studying relations in domestic psychology was engaged in V.M. Bekhterev, A.F. Lazursky, M.Y. Basov, V.N. Meatishchev, etc.

As E.V.levchenko notes, the impact on the development of the idea of \u200b\u200brelationship was influenced by its embodiment in three areas of knowledge: logic (Aristotle, J.Styuart Mill, M.M. Troitsky), biology (Speser), introspective psychology (I.F. . Hegerbart, V.Vundt, Gefding, K.Stportf).

Attitude (Krech D, Crutchfield R.S.) is an ordered organization of motivational, emotional, perceptual and informative processes of individual.

Attitude (Alport G.) is a mental and continuous state of readiness to fulfill the policy influence, the answer of the individual to the objects and the situations with which it faces.

Attitude (Fuson M.) is the likelihood of identifying a certain behavior in a certain situation.

The ratio is a mutual reflection of objects, their essential properties, structural and other characteristics (vocabulary-directory of a practical psychologist).

The development of the category "attitude" in domestic psychology is primarily associated with the name of V. N. Mezishchev. Through this category, he clarifies the nature of the subjective in man, reveals the socio-psychological content of personality relations with its medium, traces the interaction of the motivational components of the psyche in their inner unity, explains the origin of character and sociopathy.

In its "reflexology period" (the term E.levchenko), V.N.Mäxychev uses the concept of "attitude" in two values: 1) the methodological principle of the attitude of the body to the environment (after V.M. Bekhterev); 2) part of the psychic as a whole, along with mechanisms and conditions, which has an emotionally consumed nature.

V.Ganzen, V.N. Yurchenko (1981) considered the attitude as a central, system-forming characteristic of the entire component composition of the mental state. In the status structure, this characteristic represents the level of consciousness and self-consciousness of a person. The attitude as a characteristic of consciousness is a relation to the surrounding reality; As a characteristic of self-consciousness is self-regulation, self-control, self-esteem, i.e. Establishment of equilibrium between external influences, internal condition, forms of human behavior.

As noted by L.V. Kulikov (1997), the use of ideas of the concept of relations gives a solid foundation for studying the meaningful side of the mental activity and the meaningful filling of the inner world of the individual.

Developing the psychological theory of relations, V.N. Meatishchev comes from the heritage of Russian scientists A.F. Lazur and V.M. Bekhtereva. A.F. The Lazur first considers human relations as structural components of the personality. It highlights them into a single mental education, called the exopsychic, in contrast to the endopsychic (internal mental education). V. N. Mezishchev "Promotes" this problem to the definition of a subject relationship as a "meaningful communication" of a person with an external world. "Studying a person from the position of his relationship, we establish its meaningful relationship with the surrounding public reality."

According to V.N. Meatsischev follows that subjective relations are a concentrate of the motivational formations of a person and the environmental influences of "social reality". The environmental influences are that one or another specific community of people has its own way of life, interpersonal relationships, their traditions, rites, rituals and vital standards, creating a special context of the implementation of the promotional forces of a person. As a result of environmental influences, the value orientations of the individual are formed, which can also be viewed as a special content of its subjective relations with the outside world.

V.N. Meatsishev considered a human attitude as:

The potential manifested in the conscious active selectivity of experiences and actions of a person based on its individual social experience;

Potential of the mental response of the personality due to any object, process or fact of reality.

B.F. Lomov has a position similar to V.N. Meatishchev. In particular, he wrote that the term "subjective attitude" is an objective connection of the individual with its environment, but in this connection it includes the subjective position of the person in this environment. The ratio includes the moment of assessment, expresses the preissance of the individual.

The human relationship is influenced by the generality in which it is included. As a result, a relationship is formed both to the very generality and other communities. The system of "subjectively personal" relations is a subjective personality space, each of the measurements of which corresponds to a specific subjective personality relation (B.F. Lomov).

The subjective attitude is the integral property of the individual, superimposing a certain imprint on all mental processes (phenomena). This is especially clear this is expressed in the choice and decision-making, as well as in their emotional tone (B.F. Lomov).

In the relations of a person, the incarnation of emotional (emotional-sensual) and conitative (installation and volitional) functions of his mental activity are embodied. Psychophysiological mechanisms of these functions predetermine the response to external influences first in the form of an elementary mental attitude, the essence of which is enabled in the experience of pleasant - unpleasant and in the appropriate experience of affective reactions.

Mental relations identify the degree of attractiveness of the object, favorably or adversely affecting the human senses. These relationships are distinguished by the responding effect on the properties of the reflected object.

Relationships are always associated with an object that is reflected in consciousness. Based on this, the ratio may be:

a) impassive - does not prevent adequate reflection, but not enough for his depth;

b) passionate - promotes the depth and wealth of reflection;

c) predensive - distorted trends in which the subjective components of the relationship are reflected inadequate, incorrect.

Mental relations accompany any act of cognitive human activity at a specific sensual level of reflection, determining its emotional color. They regulate the interaction with the object, manifested in the desire of the subject to it or in avoiding it.

Consciousness, feeling and will - procedural trinity in relations. The will as a mechanism for the conscious regulation of human mental activity transforms mental relations into a special class of human relations - psychological relations. "The psychological relations of a person in a developed form represent a holistic system of individual, electoral, conscious relations with various parties of objective reality." From this definition it follows that psychological relations, in contrast to the mental, also have the property of consciousness.

Psychological relations reflect on their own mental relations to the object and the need for it, which can change the sign of the primary mental attitude of a person to the object.

Psychological relations, in comparison with mental, mostly represent the individual essence of a person due to their greater arbitrary. This feature of psychological relations was also noted by V. N. Mezishchev: "Since the properties of the object exist for all, and the actions and experiences caused by the object among different people are selective and different, then it is obvious that the source of the features of experience and action lies in the individual In a person as a subject of relations, due to the peculiarity of his individual experience. "

The informed nature and the arbitrariness of psychological relations give them a conience in the sense that they direct the behavior and human activity in a certain direction, involving such important mental education of the individual in this process, as needs, feelings, interests, beliefs, assessment, as well as will, Attention, motive. Psychological relations are a holistic form of their synthesis, i.e., the system education of a person who reveals his personal meaning.

Psychological relations V.N. Meatishchev considered as a holistic and complex structure of individual personal relationships with objective reality, which reflects the history of its life path and experience. The needs of this structure assigned the role of the "main relationship". V.N. Meatishchev explained this by the fact that the "constituting components" of needs are: "A) the subject experiencing needs, b) the object of need, c) a kind of relationship between a subject and an object that has a certain functional neurodynamic structure, which has a certain functional neurodynamic structure, manifested in the experience of aging to the object and in active Aspiration to master them. "

Emotional relations V.N. Meatsishev considered as feelings. The area of \u200b\u200bfeelings (emotions) covers three heterogeneous groups of phenomena - emotional reactions, emotional states and emotional relations. The latter and are pretty much what is usually called feelings.

In all three substructures of psychological relations V.N. Meatsishev pointed to the presence of the emotional component. This lower level of manifestation of human relations, compared with emotional-willars, is completely differentiated by the concept of "mental relations".

In the structure of psychological relations V.N. Meatsischev considers both the assessment, defining the class of "assessment relations", which, in his opinion, are formed on the basis of ethical, aesthetic, legal and other public criteria of actions, behavior and vital activity of people. Through the assessment determines the normality of psychological relations in various forms of their manifestation.

The assessment assumes the presence of criteria, standards, units of measurement of the estimated properties, which in the process of comparison, analysis and synthesis serve as a starting point for making a judgment on the quality and level of development of the phenomenon, the nature of its connections and allow you to relate objects and social phenomena. Evaluation is a form of manifestation of a relationship, his conscious feature. Assessment relations are determined in the context of human mental activity, including the emotional component in the form of approval - disapproval, and may be due to the projection of self-assessment, which is especially noted in cases of each other's assessment.

In assessing itself and other people, according to V.N. Meatishchev, primarily manifest relationships of self-esteem and respect for others, which are transformed into the relationship between the authority or authoritarianism of the leadership - subordination, etc. Evaluation relations in this process perform the function of the transmitter of psychological relations in socio-psychological.

In the structure of psychological relations V.N. Meatishchev considered the belief of the individual, which, in his opinion, is "a system of requirements in combination with the knowledge of reality". The beliefs characterize the ideological position of a person who include an understanding of social relations and determine the place of personality in the social structure. Beliefs are reflected in human value orientations.

Revealing the conmature function of psychological relations, V.N. Meatsischev included in the structure of these relations will, attention, motive as components characterizing the subjective human activity in various circumstances of life. Not by chance, therefore, there are expressions "attentive attitude", "volitional attitude", etc. These relations are talking about the mobilization of individual efforts of a person in his practical activity and communication. In the process of communication, they generate special types of relationships: independence or dependence, federation or intolerance, responsiveness or inattention, etc. This means that these relationships (attention and will) can manifest itself in the context of interaction in the form of socio-psychological relations.

In human relations there is integration of human life experience. Relations are characterized by the life position of the individual in society. In the process of developing subjective relations, the style of personality behavior is formed.

We join the point of view L.V. Kulikova (1997), which, in the structure of relations, considers the most important aspects of the description: objects of relations, continuity of relations and constituent substructures, processes and components of relations (Table 1). The structure of relations is their static, it is only one side of the relationship.

Objects of psychological relations are: natural world, the world of people, "I" of the very person. As the main processes of relations are: knowledge, experience and evaluation, regulation, awareness. Cognition creates the informational basis of the relationship. Experiencing and estimation are expressed in an emotional response to the object of relations, in the adoption or rejection of it, in the formation of the assessment. Relationships regulate the development of the personality, but at the same time themselves are regulated by other mental structures. Regulation may be conscious and unconscious. Without awareness of relations, personality development is impossible, determining its goals, planning its life path.

The attitude itself is the unity of cognitive, emotional and behavioral components. Sources of relations can be both external and internal and, as noted by L.V. Kulikov (1997), even imposed medium.

The ratio also has a procedural side that is manifested in mental states and causes their essential parameters.

It is fundamentally important when considering the structure of relations is to determine the place of the structure of the "I" of the personality. Most often in psychology there are such substructures in the "I" of the personality, as "I" -real and "I" -Ideal. However, in our opinion, the "I" structure proposed by L.V. is promising for analyzing relations. Kulikov. In the structure of "I" the author proposes to allocate the following substructures:

● "I" -good, acting as a guidance in making himself, in self-regulation and maintaining self-esteem at a high level.

● "I" -potable; This is a subjective assessment and understanding of a person himself.

Henry James.

The psychology of relations between people has always been, there is and remains one of the most important, most significant for the overwhelming majority of people. This, without exaggeration, say an eternal topic in which each of us, no matter who and how he is going to build relationships should be very good. After all, from how we build our relationship with other people - our satisfaction depends on both their lives, and expressing even more thoroughly - our happiness will depend on it. Therefore, this topic, dear readers, I recommend that you pay special attention. I will share with you in this article very useful and valuable knowledge about the psychology of relationships that will help you improve your relationship with other people and will protect you from many unnecessary mistakes in this difficult business. You will also learn how to build new, good, relationship you need with everyone, with whom you want. And this is guaranteed to change your life for the better and make you happier. So let's carefully study this eternal and important for us all the topic.

Well, let's start. And for the beginning, we take a look at the psychology of relations as widely as possible to fully realize the range of its capabilities. Dear readers, please note that the ability to build relationships, normal, useful relationships with other people is a guarantee of success, well, if not in all matters, then in most cases exactly. You just think how much in our life, including our inner state, depends on the relationship with people. Let even these people in your life are not very much, but those with whom you communicate and interact - are definitely important for you, and they inevitably affect and pretty much on you and your life. Therefore, your relationship with them should be, let's say, more or less normal, and even better, good. And these relationships depend on you to no less than from them. And I generally think that each of us should take responsibility for relations with other people on yourself. After all, it is so important - to be able to build relationships and support them in such a way as to receive not only benefit from them, but also pleasure. For this, we must take responsibility for this skill on yourself. Do you agree with me? I am sure that I agree. That's why, I believe that every person should be interested in the psychology of relations. After all, people are so difficult creatures, they have such a rich and mysterious inner world, which is so simple, without special knowledge, to build with them, well, if not perfect, then at least more or less normal, satisfying your needs and the desires of the relationship, very not so easy.

I also want to tell you that the psychology of the relationship needs to be studied not only by books or articles like this, but according to your own life experience. Friends, learn to make deep conclusions from your relationship with other people - remember that everything that happens in your life is happening so that you have learned something. Any event in your life, both good and bad - this is a lesson you need to learn. From your own life you can learn the benefit of no less than from the many smartest books, you only need to be very careful for everything that happens to you and think about it. As for knowledge, there are a lot of them, there are a lot of them, so much that you do not have enough living, so that even small part of them. So try to choose those of them who are closest to your life. And the relationship with people is with the opposite sex, with parents, with children, with friends, with superiors and with subordinates and so on - this is, in my opinion, and I hope in your opinion, too, very close to life skill. Consequently, knowledge associated with it needs to be obtained to the detriment of many other knowledge, from which your life depends to a much lesser extent. After all, the most important thing in our life and in particular in relations with people is attention, our attention with you. Here on the one who and what we pay it to a greater extent will depend on the quality and success of our life with you. You will pay attention to, let's say, not that knowledge and not to those people will become [or remain] unfortunate, not satisfied with their life with people. And you will start to pay it to what it is necessary and to those who need - everything will be fine. I hope you understand me and agree with me. Well, now let's talk about the psychology of relations in more detail.

The meaning of relationships

In all in this life there should be a meaning, because he is in everything, only we do not always see him and understand. There is this meaning and in relations with different people, but for each of us it can be different, depending on our needs and desires. It is not important that your vision and understanding of this meaning is important. From my point of view, the meaning of any relationship is - joy, harmony, peacefulness, love and happiness, no matter what you see it. Also with the help of relationships with other people, including with the opposite sex, we satisfy their various needs, both physical and spiritual. Actually, satisfaction of these needs and makes us happy people. But here it is important to understand that the most important thing in the relationship between people is not to take it, but to give. This is the meaning of the relationship - to give people joy, give them love, make them happy. You will always have time to take your time, but give it much more difficult. Those who prefer only to take - can never build serious, strong, reliable, long-term, happy relationships with other people. You probably noticed it, perhaps even, on our own example. How often do we see how people make each other claims for what they lack something there or want, without thinking about another person, about their partner, friend, comradist, just a random acquaintance. Is it pleasant to be near such people? Do you want to do something for them? Is it possible to completely open? After all, we see that they don't care about us, they just want to get something from us and are not going to give us anything in return.

Now let's think about what the essence of the relationship is. From the foregoing, it can be concluded that we need to, as far as possible, get acquainted and converge with such people with whom we can build a normal relationship to getting from them and pleasure to fully enjoy life, to achieve goals, successfully overcome Difficulties so that generally happily live your destiny. Without normal relations with normal people who can be trusted, on which you can rely on, with which you can share the most intimate - you just can not live a full life and fully enjoy it. Thus, the essence of the relationship is pleasure and benefit, as well as the ability to completely disclose next to another person. Let them not with all people you can build such relationships that will help you fully disclose, because not all people can be allowed to go into your soul, but only those who are worthy of who can clarify it, and not nagging into it. But this is how benefits, it can be extracted from relations with all people, whatever they are. Benefit, but not pleasure - have it in mind.

Relationships can be different, depending on who and for what purpose you build them. But if we are talking about such relations that we must fully satisfy us, it is quite obvious that they should only be built with decent people. Let them be a little, they should be a bit, the main thing is that it would be such people with whom you will be fine who you can entrust the most intimate, what is inside you. And how we figured out above - it should be such people who can give part of themselves for which you can do good, with all my heart, and not be afraid that they use your kindness against you. After all, it is meaningless to give something to those people who know only Hump and not to give anything in return, which perceive someone else's kindness as weakness, which seek to take advantage. Therefore, it is pointless to build relationships with such people, waiting for something special about them, something sublime, something reliable and eternal, that they are simply not able to give you. Born crawling - can not fly. So do not wait for some people more than what they are capable of. And they don't need to give them anything - you do not need to throw beads before those who hangs it. Look for such people who are suitable for those relations you expect and in which you need. But do not forget that they need the same decent people as they themselves. Say, the relationship with the opposite sex will be so strong as well as people fit each other. You can not find a good husband, being a bad wife, or a good wife, being a bad husband. And if people inappropriate each other still converge, then one of them necessarily begins to suffer. I saw in my life many incompatible couples, and I knew that there would be no long relationship between these people, that the time would come and all this, initially the shaky design will collapse, which in the future it happened. You must be able to choose people to build up with them - normal relations, such relationships in which you need, and not try to change people to meet your requirements. And you must fit the person to the relationship with which you are applying. And only then we can talk about such things as respect, love, understanding, and so on, which gives a person a pleasure from relationships with other people, and what we see the essence of the relationship. As for the benefit, it, as I said, you can receive from relationships with any people, you just need to find the right approach to them so that this is the benefit of them.

I don't know what at least one of you needs, dear readers needs, but I want to say that building serious, reliable, durable and overall successful relationships is always reduced to building a kind of system, and quite a complex system, In which your personal qualities will be reflected, and the qualities of those people with whom you build these relationships. To build this system, you need to possess the necessary high personal qualities that naturally need to be in yourself, first of all in yourself, develop. And then these qualities need to be sought in other people. After all, serious relationship between people is a high degree of organizedness of these people, which requires responsibility, decency, discipline, honesty, openness and many other higher human qualities. Therefore, it is sometimes very difficult to build a normal relationship, if you and those with whom you are trying to build them - are not sufficiently developed. We will know with you that some people for different reasons can only nap together. They, to their own regret, do not know how to build normal relations with each other, for them it is an unbearable task. Such people often conflict, always try to use each other and often betrayed people close to him. They do not know the other. Therefore, to build, let's say, great relationships, you need to develop as a person, to be aimed at understanding, above all, your behavior, their motives, desires, weaknesses. It will help and other people are better understood, and most importantly, thanks to this, a person will be tolerated to many undesirable phenomena for him in life, because of which he instinctively goes to the conflict with others. After all, the smaller the person understands, the more he can do not like and, especially conflict, he can be. Relationships with people need understanding and patience, then they will be stable.

The purpose of the relationship

The purpose of the relationship determines their meaning. We talked about the meaning of relationships with you above, now let's talk about what goals you can pursue, building relationships with different people and how the psychology of relationships can help you. The objectives of the relationship can be the most different, and therefore, the relationship can also be different. For someone, relations with other people and, in particular, with the opposite sex - this desire to get your own, not giving anything in return, and for someone, it is a mutually beneficial exchange when people help each other to meet different needs when they are useful to each other. Well, someone wants to support with other people just normal, friendly relations, without any obligation, so to speak, for the soul, that is, to meet mental needs, if we speak more precisely. But at the same time, it should always be remembered that any relationship should be a clearly conscious goal, goals. This is necessary in order to, firstly, in your life there was no unnecessary, distracting your attention to people, and especially such people who can harm you, and secondly, so that you understand not only your own, but And other people's goals and tried, as far as it is in your opportunities, help other people them to achieve them so that they in turn helped you to achieve your goals. People after all, you are also not just supported with you, you must also be interesting for them, useful, beneficial.

Well, so that people do not remove relationships from your with them one-sided benefit - try to always find out, for which they support relationships with you or try to install them and for what you yourself support relationships with these people. And also, think about whether you do it to the detriment of what other relationships. You can't pay attention to everyone without exception to people who have in your life and even more so potential partners and friends who do not even know about, but with which you can get to know the future. Therefore, you need to choose which of them is worthy, and who is not worthy of your attention. Therefore, it makes no sense if there is no goal, to maintain relations with those people, from which you do not have absolutely no benefit, nor material, no spiritual, even pure hypothetical, and even more so with those who harm you, with whom you uncomfortable to you, who delivers you Pain and forces you to suffer. Do not forget that life is not so long to spend it on unnecessary things, meaningless things and especially on people who are unnecessary to you.

So never forget about the purposes you want to achieve, building and maintaining relationships with those or other people. Just think about what your needs, desires and feelings are based on your desire to build relations with different people and with each specific person. What do you want from other people? And what can you yourself and are ready to offer them in return? Do you consider such an exchange fair? And what do you think other people, another person, will be considered the same? For them, your approach to relationships, your desire to get something from them, and your opportunity to give them in return - will look attractive? Be sure to think about these questions, before you begin to build relationships with other people, based on your interests and desires. Think about what other people may want, do not ignore their interests, but consider them. After all, if you can approach the issue of relations not only from the position of your interests, but also from the position of the interests of other people, then you will be easier, much easier to build these same relationships with them. And the likelihood is that these relationships will be mutually beneficial and mutually satisfying, and, due to this, strong enough.

The art of relationships

Now let's talk about the ability to build a successful relationship with people, which we can easily call art. Under the art of relationship, I, among other things, what is written and says a lot, understanding the ability of people to make concessions to each other when necessary. And for this you need to be able to pacify your ego and curb your egoism. Most of the relationships enter the deadlock only because no one wants to give up, everyone stands on her, everyone considers himself absolutely right and does not want to sacrifice something for the sake of relationships with other people, including its truth. But if you do not give up, if you always stand on my, there will be no normal relationship. It is clear that it is always worthwhile and everyone is also unnecessary, otherwise people on the neck will climb to you, and this will also contribute to the destruction of relations with them, for it is impossible to be a servant to other people, wanting to support normal relations with them - this corrupts them. That's it precisely because of the complexity of determining the situation and even the moment when you need to give way to another person to save or build relationships with him, I call the ability to make concessions - the art of relationships. Do you understand the difference? I am not awareness itself called art, and the ability to give way when it is necessary. It is necessary to understand, and sometimes feel when and to whom it is worth a yield to save, save, build relationships, and when you need to rest on the horn and stand on your last.

Here, asks, how should we treat other people so that they in turn relate to us as we want it? Okay? Bad? Or how? You know, but not so easy to answer this question. It would seem, you can all simplify and say that you need to treat people as you want them to relate to you. And it is really true, but not in all cases. Moving Life People know that far from always other people make up our attitude towards them, and sometimes to some of them need to treat very badly so that they relate to you well. Therefore, rather more correct will be the next phrase - it is necessary to treat people as they deserve it. But what attitude to himself deserves every particular person, it is quite difficult to find out, for this you need to find out this person, to understand what he is. And be good with everyone - it is wrong, as actually, incorrectly and with all the evil. So, you need to give up only to those people who can and need to give up, and only when it is necessary. So to build a successful relationship with other people, competent federation is a very valuable skill that I call the art of relationships. There are other useful skills that are also important, but this skill, according to my observations, is especially important.

Psychology of relations between a man and a woman

In general, the relationship between a man and a woman is pretty a thin form of cooperation, and where it is fine, there is often rushing. Such relationships demand from people as I said above, the ability to give up, the ability to negotiate, the ability to be useful to each other. And very many men and women see in relations with each other with each other the opportunity to make only their lives better, they do not take into account and therefore do not take into account the interests of their partner and live according to the principle - or me, or me. Well, it is impossible, you can agree, we are people, reasonable creatures, we should not be relying in relation to each other, but for common sense. It is impossible to live happily, building a relationship with the opposite sex at fear and violence, on the dependence of one person from another, on the use of one person else, or, as it is now accepted, on consumer terms towards each other. A man and a woman are two pieces of the whole, they are created for each other, and not to confront each other, that's what it is important to understand. They must see each other's own reflection and treat each other as each of them relates to themselves - with understanding and respect. To come to this, you need to know about all the advantages of normal relations, then people will have the desire to build them, and they will build them, for they have the opportunity.

It is still very often you can hear that the relationship between a man and a woman is based on their sexual attraction to each other. In general, this is true, but only partly, from the point of view of physiology. We have a need for contact with the opposite sex, and we strive to satisfy it, so we show interest in the opposite sex. But we are with you, above all about psychology talking about the secrets of our mysterious soul. And our soul requires not only bodily, but also sincere pleasure. So, tell me, dear readers, did you have such that looking at the person of the opposite sex, you felt at first an easy excitement, gradually turning into all the growing heat in the chest, accompanied by some, completely inexplicable, but very pleasant experience, As if in the depths of your soul, something beautiful and wonderful, something charming, which begins to cover you all from the inside, allowing you to experience incredible bliss? I hope that you have experienced something like in your life, and if not, then be sure, the time will come and you will definitely experience it.

I want to notice that it is not so easy to describe all those sensations that people may experience when a special person appears in their lives. I share with you my own experiences, so I don't even know how to properly describe them, how to convey to you, when you seek the light in your soul, which fills you from the inside and your soul, not the body, namely the soul - clean Light, eternal, stretches to the soul of another person, wanting to merge with her in one whole and dissolve in eternity. Is it love? Maybe. Most likely love. But this is some kind of earthly love, but such a love that once originated can live forever, and which allows us to feel like something big than what we know about themselves. And against the background of this great feeling, which we are able to worry, which we can enjoy, can we talk about the relationship between a man and a woman, as about the relationship between female and male? After all, when you know that there is such a feeling that is born in the depths of your soul and which is able to make you truly happy, do not you want to experience him, wouldn't you want to enjoy them forever? Of course he wants. Therefore, no, friends, the relationship between a man and a woman should and can be much more than just sexual attraction. We just need to know yourself better to understand what we can get if we strive not to primitive relations with each other, but to such a relationship, thanks to which we will experience great bliss.

Summing up the whole thing, I want to notice, dear readers, that the psychology of relations does not stand still - it constantly learns about people and their relationship with each other something new, which allows us to better understand yourself, your needs, desires, opportunities, from which our behavior depends. What kind of relationship was not about, whether it was a relationship between a man and a woman or relationship between friends, colleagues in work, parents and children - they are all somehow a consequence of our desire to make their lives better. We can not be singles, we are social creatures, so we need to somehow interact with each other in any case. And if so, it is probably better to do it in such a way that we all, if possible, it was good that we all be satisfied with our relationship with other people. Is it possible? I think yes. You just need to adhere to certain rules that make the necessary order in our life. About the most, in my opinion, important of them, I told you in this article. We must understand that without certain self-restrictions, a person cannot be a person, or, if you want, the superman, whom we all want to see in yourself and others. Not power and not fear, and mind and love should form the basis of our relations with other people, then these relationships will be successful and happy.

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Installations perform several motivational functions:

Protective function - installations that protect us from negative feelings with respect to themselves when we project negative feelings on other people;

Estimated expressive functions - installations are a way to express attitude to those subjects and phenomena that are important to us;

Tool functions - we accept certain settings and express them as your attitude if they help to achieve recognition or avoid the disapproval of others;

The functions of knowledge - installation help us organize the world around the world in comparative terms (for example, "like" or "do not like") and allow you to predict some events.

Bibliography

1. Meshcheryakov B.G., Zinchenko V.P. "Great Psychological Dictionary";

2. A.V. Petrovsky, MG Yaroshevsky "Fundamentals of Theoretical Psychology";

3.N. Meatsischev "Psychology of Relations";

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