Diversify a family holiday and a corporate event will help horoscopes compiled in humorous fores. Such entertainment you can give a good mood to all those present and make a "good forecast" for the coming year.

So it was that modern man Very superstitious. In pursuit of a good life, well-being, a respected post and family happiness, he often relies on the "will of the stars" and magic. And it's not bad!

Psychologically configuring himself to good changes in, it is quite realistic to achieve victories in everyday life! The main thing is to believe and apply efforts. Comic horoscopeUnlike the usual, compiled in humorous form.

Such an astrological forecast may be in prose or set forth verses. Poems, by the way, are more easily and positively perceived by people at the event, with any feast and on any holiday.

Peculiar feature - To gently hint of the shortcomings of a certain sign of the zodiac and "generously predicting" good changes in the upcoming or coming year. Such "instruction" will necessarily make each guest who present will smile and leave him pleasant memories.

Important: a comic horoscope is usually drawn up on the basis of the present created by astrologers. But, it is written by a more understandable language, simple words And supplemented with wishes.

Comic horoscope in verses and prose for a man and women at the 2019-2020

For men:

As they say, Aries "Another Baran". And there is a share Uncipient truth! In the coming year, the Aries face a number of unpredictable situations capable of putting "kudryasheys" in a dead end. Be careful, you should not bother with horns in difficulty and try to overpower them! Excessive stubbornness is unlikely to help you achieve the desired goals. In the year, the rats of Aries should relax a little and release the situation as they say, "for course." This will not only rest, but folded any matter so that it will end with your advantage!

For women:

If a man of Aries "Baran", then the woman "Baroness". And this is not just a word game! In the new 2020, lamb women will be particularly attractive and irresistible. Many of them will acquire "female happiness", thanks to the persistence and fury, with which they will strive to achieve the desired. In addition, if you have a woman-Avy, there are any acting abilities, the horoscope wishes you from time to time to pretend to be silly sake, all the same, good goals!

In verse:

Aries sign "stubbornness" and sleeves,
Their any trifle infuriates!
So that in life was "sweet",
On the holiday, drink without a rest!

Aries need a lot of space,
So as not to be at home closely,
On the robot, in the garage
And of course in the soul!

New Year meets Aries
With open soul:
Let in the "barn" will be fully
In the bins of oats with grass!

Horoscope wishes Aries
Be quiet and gentle
So that the soul was calm
Life was more fun!

In the new year to the happiness happiness
The house will certainly come,
New Beswoades
Will takes and take!

Comic New Year's horoscope 2020 for women and men Aries: poems

Comic Horoscope in verses and prose for Taurus Men and Women for 2019-2020

For men:

Taurizes in the new year, as well as stubbornities, follows a little "relax and slow down". It is the excessive tension and a desire to help everyone, everywhere and always, destroying the unreasonable "bulls" and "chicks", without giving them to get it from life wanted maximum. In the year, the rats will be especially vulnerable to difficulties and problems arising from both love and professional "front". In order for any outcome of the case to be positive and kind, do not hesitate to ask for help from loved ones. At that moment, when the life of the life "will show a red rag," you should not accelerate and run on a bright color, but to close your eyes tightly and just let "things on samonek". And without you, Tales, others will understand perfectly!

For women:

Women to the Taurians in the New Year need to be Especially carefully with said words and expressed emotions. The fact is that the year of the rat will allow the ladies of this zodiac to be, so to speak, excited and mentally not very balanced. To avoid problems in relationships and at work, you need to "keep in the ultrasound" your attacks of jealousy, rage and desire to help everyone!

In verse:

Calm and peace
Wishes a kind horoscope,
So that life was easy and beautiful,
The problems "did not reduce the coffin."

On this year, the calves more
Wishes good horoscope,
So that under the window stood "Porsche",
So that under the mattress combla!

To the calves on this new Year
Love and inspiration will come
Fate luck will bring
Calm, pacification!

Taurus - He is strong and mighty,
And in the New Year our horoscope
Wishes life only the best
Let it be unchanging you lucky!

In the horoscope New Year
And the calves have prediction:
Those who single and free,
Write recognition in love!

Comic horoscope in verse and prose for twins Men and women for 2019-2020

For men:

Gemini - a special sign. In this sign gathered There are several of the best qualities of a person: curiousness, reasonableness, wisdom, thirst for knowledge and development. Along with this, in the new 2020, they should protect themselves from chatty, boasting and bore. Horoscope advises twins to read more, write, think, but not speak out loud, otherwise the sign risks losing some of the most important in people's life. If you can not tell about a new event, talk to the mirror or write!

For women:

In 2020, for women, twins will not Some special emotional bursts, change and fateful events. The year of the rat promises to be "cheerful" and saturated with pleasant trifles: a new fur coat, a ring, a meeting with a long-standing girlfriend, which also recovered in the last few years. Just live, as they say, "for yourself" and please your loved ones. Avoid gossip, and yourself "bite the language" if you want to retell the heard news!

In verse:

Gemini, you chepukha
To resist sin!
Be quieter and wiser,
To life is kinder!

Horoscope wishes you
Good-natured twins
Eat a lot to listen more
Do not chat on trifles!

New Year for Gemini:
Lovely ladies and men
Promises to be good.
Chloride loudly in your hands!

To have a lot of happiness,
Twins in the year road
This will be without obstacles,
Without problems, adversity, loss!

Gemini let this year
Having fun and frolic.
Let fate bring them
Many joy and happiness!

Comic horoscope in verse and prose for cancer man and women on the new 2019-2020

For men:

Men cancer the year of the rat promises small but very Pleasant changes in life. Firstly, it is wealth, he will "flow to you in the hands" slowly, but very confident. Secondly, you risk meeting in this world "your soul mate," if this has not yet been done. More often "crawl out of the sink", do not be afraid to communicate with people, do not climb from the close and 2020 will be very interesting!

For women:

In women, cancers in 2020 will finally have a chance Feel the necessary, important, loved ones. The main thing is not to lose calm, self-confidence and harmony between soul and body. Speaking about the body, it is worth noting that in the year the rat racks will experience an incredible emotional rise and any illness, as well as depression will not "wipe" and will not spoil you mood.

In verse:

Cracks, here you are lucky!
This year is happy for you!
You wish a horoscope,
Be desired and beautiful!

In a year, this one needs cancers in general to know:
Wealth is not hiding in the chests and not in the money.
Wealth hides in the soul, in relatives, in friends,
They will help at the right hour and will not give the abyss!

Cancers are lucky in the 2020th incredible!
They will find peace, wealth and love.
Him happiness meets in the way repeatedly!
In sufficiency there will be joy, food and wine!

Cancers can have fun
Sing loudly, joke, dance.
In the new year, happiness rushes to them,
To make cancers all hug!

Happy holiday, crayfish!
New Year promises you all:
Many happiness and reasons cry
Only from joy and trifles!

Comic horoscope in verse and prose for lion men and women on the new 2019-2020

For men:

Overview of the lion males inspire fear And respect for all other signs of the zodiac. The same attitude and to their life they have: someone they let it be close, about other "accurate claws". The new 2020 for Lviv will be very successful and the lucky. The year of the rat will completely obey Lerl and bring him a lot of pleasant emotions!

For women:

Lion women, like men, in 2020, smile luck literally in everything: they will rise through the "career ladder", will meet a worthy man, they will gain health and will be incredibly attractive. The year of the rat will bring a lot of profit, both in terms of "mining" and a new fur coat, boots, beads and earrings!

In verse:

Year 2020 will be easy
Will be bright and happy!
Lions he will bring health
Inspiration and strength!

Lions will be pleasantly surprised
Successful year is coming to them!
In it, they "get off happiness",
To them "Good luck to the house will enter."

Fate promises to all lions and lionesses
Good luck to get drunk this year,
"Catch the Star", have a lucky,
And all the victories without excluding!

Lions like the lords of the world
Year wishes to be happy!
So that the houses were fully,
So that in the soul was calm!

The horoscope wishes the lioness
Be real queens
And the lions of huge wealth,
So that life was simple and "smooth"!

Predictions for Lviv

Comic Horoscope in verses and prose for Virgin Men and Women on New 2019-2020

For men:

As you know, the male of the Virgin is real "daffodils". That is why in 2020, the horoscope predicts them a lot of difficulties, primarily with the fact that they are not able to "understand and lift up their neighbor." The year of the rat promises to be not easy and the day to achieve the desired results, the Virgin will have to be said, "click on gas" and make a maximum effort.

For women:

Women of the Virgin in 2020 will feel like real queens! Of course, all grace will not be on them just to pour off the sky and in order to please yourself with excellent results in the professional or personal sphere, you need a hard work and faith in yourself. Also, devians should be started in 2019-2020 to limit themselves in everything: in sweets, cavaliers, words said. This will help to gain respect and recognition around.

In verse:

Horoscope wishes to devans
Large and small victories!
In the new year, join boldly
He will protect you from troubles!

Seductive Beauty Devs
The new year will only bring joy!
Life let it be like you like
It will turn for you in sweetness!

Wise and beautiful devans
New Year wishes boldly
To be successful in everything
And there were no troubles!

Devam - Zodiac sign,
New Year wishes happiness!
So that the benefit was surrounded by
So that love does not disappear!

Smile, maiden, wider,
You are happy everyone in the world!
You are beautiful in this world
And on our whole planet!

Comic horoscope in verses and prose for weights of a man and women for 2019-2020

For men:

In the new 2020, men twins should pay Time not only self-development, but also its appearance. Therefore, do not hesitate to get a subscription to the gym, a spa zone or sauna. Be beautiful - not sin! In addition, try to always be closer to your family, feel free to be bored and intrusive, simply show your interest in what is happening.

For women:

In the year, a woman's female rats will be "flying in the clouds". That is why they will often not have time and everywhere. In order for your business to be laid and ended with the desired outcome, you should be aspirable and all the time "beat yourself on the cheeks" to return to reality. In the new year, you definitely pay a lot of time with your beauty and health, take care of your loved ones.

In verse:

Smile, all men
If there are scales nearby.
These women are beautiful
Dream come true!

New year weighing will give
Many reasons for happiness.
He will leave under the Christmas tree
Gifts, kisses and arms!

Weighs of huge adventure
Add a new year in life,
So that there was no chagrin,
He will bring you good luck!

Stars have decided so now:
In the new fairy year
Weighs as a gift will be forces,
Heat, love, family comfort!

Weighs have great changes
The probability of them is so great
All the best will happen without a doubt
Life will be light and easy!

Comic horoscope in verse and prose for scorpion Men and women for 2019-2020

For men:

Scorpions of men will have to really try In harmony, your thoughts and emotions with the body. This "poisonous" sign of the zodiac will be especially vulnerable in 2019-2020 and is excited. That is why it is necessary to refrain from scandals, quarrels and divorces. On the other hand, the year is very successful for "smashing" of money and therefore it is best to send its energy to improving its financial condition.

For women:

Like Men, Women Scorpions in 2019-2020 There will be real "hystericals". The ladies should be very skillfully hiding their real emotions and feelings not to spoil relations with everyone who surrounds them. The year promises many romantic and love meetings, which in turn does not interfere with the existing marriage from Scorpio.

In verse:

Scorpions are good:
A lot of money and soul!
Horoscope broadcasts sign
Only from happiness to cry!

Per year 2020 to all scorpions,
Faced a lot of change:
In robot, relationships and houses.
Try to avoid problems!

Scorpions urgently need,
Many bright changes.
Horoscope wishes friendship
Allow your problems!

That life is successful
Scorpions try.
Horoscope wishes: gently
You are thinking about smile!

You at the door of 2020 is knocking
His time has come.
Now good will happen
With scorpion in the new year!

Comic horoscope in verses and prose for a shank man and women for 2019-2020

For men:

Men Sagittarius in the new year "risk" to be lucky And happy, for this they have every chance. The main thing is not to be confused on the way fortunately good luck. In the professional and personal sphere, everything will be quite folded and enough "Rovenko" - without losses and disappointments. More smile to the world around the world and everything will be fine!

For women:

Female Sagittarius in the new year must necessarily "Catch a luck for the tail", and then hide it at home and not to release. If the ladies make an effort into the year of the rat, they will definitely find recognition, will find true love And they will rise through the career ladder highly high.

In verse:

"Let the Archers live well" -
Advises astrological forecast.
They let them relax the body and soul,
Let the back of the hot tears be afraid!

Sky wishes a man to shoot
Be a real protector of the ladies.
Life let the glove be on the face,
Give the way to dreams and affairs!

Let the Streltsy dreams come true,
Let wishes are carried out!
Archers Astrologers wish beauty,
Good luck, joy, glamor love!

Sagittarius - Pets of good luck,
Let it be so not different!
And the new year will give in winter
They are happiness and love happy!

Predicted stars joy
All fractures as a gift.
There will be a life for them as sweetness,
Merry every day and yaps!

Comic horoscope in verse and prose for Capricorn men and women for 2019-2020

For men:

Men Capricorn in the new year should be finally To understand what they want in their lives: love, family or a large career jump. Unfortunately, it will not get any time and therefore all your strength should be sent to one direction only. The year is successful for searching yourself, muses and space. However, if you "fly too far, you risk losing a connection with reality, that is, to spoil relationships with others.

For women:

Women Capricorns will become real muses for their Men, waters and fans. The year promises the ladies to be filled with beauty, harmony and cleanliness. Each representative of this sign of the zodiac "risks" to fall in love completely accidentally and very tight. Finally, Capricorns will be very vulnerable and wasteful.

In verse:

Per year 2020 Capricorn
Wish stars to be themselves
On life life
Walk with happily fate!

Lucky all Capricorn,
To them good comes to the house
With this glorious new year,
Troubles will not be anything!

Good luck and prosperity is knocking
In the houses of all Capricarps in the New Year.
Let the tale of kind will happen
Dreams will not be sweet sleep!

Astrologers wish you harmony,
Find in yourself and strength and love.
Year Capricorn promises to be calm,
And feelings will blurt out blood!

Capricorn is incredibly lucky
The year will be pleasant and happy.
Men in the pockets will be full,
Well, women will be beautiful!

Comic Horoscope in verses and prose for Aquarius Men and Women for 2019-2020

For men:

New Year for Aquarius Men will be very calm and measured. Practically, no event can disrupt the peace of mind and prevent them from achieving the desired goals. In the personal life of the Aquarius there is an abundance of romantic meetings, gentle feelings and only pleasant changes.

For women:

Women of this sign of the zodiac are quite frivolousBut at the same time romantic and dreamy. The year of the rat promises them an abundance of love adventures and only positive changes. But, together with this, you should not "drown in the punch of your dreams" so as not to lose touch with reality.

In verse:

Aquarius will feel
Having to wait and believe
That in their lives as if in a fairy tale
Happiness will knock on the door!

For Aquarius, the new year is a favorite holiday,
He gives them the warmth of native people.
Astrologers promise only joy,
Luck - it will go to you just on the door!

Astrological predicted
Wish the Aquarius to be wiser,
With a smile in the heart take a decide,
To dreams come true soon!

Horoscope aquarian wishes
Many bright, love merits,
So that love in the soul did not fade,
And the soul was light like snow!

Comic horoscope in verse and prose for men and women for 2019-2020

For men:

Men fish all year rats will be quietly sailing For the flow "and swim by problems, failures and disappointments. This year, a strong half of humanity will necessarily meet "his fish" and acquire family happiness. In the year of the rats do not wait for any strong "career takeoffs", but it is far from bad.

For women:

The main thing for women's fish per year rat - do not look silly And do not create too negative impression about yourself. Be active and cheerful, laugh in the face of failures and problems. In a personal life, a year promises positive changes, for example, a new lover or a proposal of a hand and heart!

In verse:

Let the fish sail to their luck
In a happy new colorful year!
Let the challenges solve problems
And life will not throw fish in the pan!

Fish is very silent,
Fish love silence.
In the New Year wishes the fish
Horoscope "Lose Dream"!

So that there were fun fish and joyfully,
Astrologers impass:
Rest, eat sweets,
You love stars foreshadow!

Video: "Comic horoscope for 2020 for friends"

ARIES

21.03 to 20.04
- Who is your workaholic?
- Who does not tolerate when he is surpassing at least something?
- Whose walk is like running? Who is it?
- It's he, forever excited and aggressive Aries!

Aries - Star Baran (or Sheep) - has brilliant positive deposits and hard work, but it is often irritable, stubborn and quick-tempered. The heat of his passions does not know borders, and the desire to insist on his can go to despotism. It is impulsive and unpredictable.
Aries - individualist and badly succumb to someone else's will. His own strong will does not know the limit, the active mind pushes forward, without fearing the obstacle. However, Aries are poorly understood in humans. From here - the usual disappointment for him in dealing with people.
Often - aggressive to the extraordinaryness of an angry-stupid type, a militant and cruel primitive, deeply convinced that happiness should be with flammable tears, and good - with pudded fists.
Mentally inhibited, Aries since childhood with difficulty remembers ordinary things. Thinking, he is already blushing from Natuha. He would have faltered a pig, if he managed. As a childhood, Aries dreams of a military or astronaut's career and therefore constantly striking fights.
With the youth of Aries, peacefully easily excit, but it shows that surprising indifference, reaching apathy, then unexpected flashes of anger with minor failures. It does not suffer objections, and reasonable arguments do not have any action.
A drunken form of Aries is prone to scandals.
The vulgar soul of it, the ram, revealed the lash for drinking companions. Loves beer with salty jokes. True, his jokes are flat and rude, and their main topics are the physiological shipments of the body. This humor is characteristic symptom underdevelopment, or defeats the frontal stakes of the brain, and it is called in psychiatry "Lobny humor". The conversation of the ram is similar to the eloquence of deaf-and-dumb. "What do you have any hands to talk?" - Favorite Academy of Aries.
Aries has no artistic alone, nor good manners, no ability to keep himself in society, no concerns about his appearance.
In the life of the family it is necessary to keep him away from money - everything will be asleep instantly, and where - and he does not know. In society, Nuden: can talk for hours about himself without noticing others.
All his life Aries-Baran is engaged in what is looking for new (or not very) gates for itself.
Sheep's wives are ambitious and aggressive, but they constantly sawing husbands, pushing them to success, because in ambition and enthusiasm are not even equal.
Barber husbands are irresponsible. They are hard to tie to the house. They needed companions who would take them into eloquent mittens.
Aries - health sign with a reasonable lifestyle.
Aries should avoid in marriage and friendship of cancer, scorpion, fish. Must look for scales, firing, lion.

CALF

from 21.04 to 21.05
- Who smiles to ears if he does not contradict?
- Who thinks he knows the most?
- Who loves fashionable things?
- Who loves and baked, and boiled, and roasted?
- Oh, it is he, a solid and carnivorous Taurus!

Healthy and mercantile Ham, Taurus achieves its ability to persistent and long-suffering. Does not throw conceived cases. It rarely listens to the advice and can suddenly act alive. More guided by feelings than reason.
In anger, he is like an angry bull, and the anger is his own: he does not forget and does not forgive the offense. In childhood, Taurus loved to torment animals.
The main drawbacks of the Taurus: the borought, the lack of imagination, whipping, pessimistic look at things, stubbornness, cruelty and others, worn. Taurus conservative in views.
Petty and ridiculous, Taurus - Supply and Donoschik. In life, he keeps his nose in the wind and performs all the instructions of the authorities.
Male Taurus loves to cuddle Altruista, and a woman - a martyr. At the same time, the calf, the actor by nature, in fact, despises, considering himself in the depths of the soul center of the Universe.
Taurus loves wealth, but Skopidomit is secretly, albeit tirelessly. He, "rushed unfortunate" (A.N.Zhov), is ready to rent a last shirt from his neighbor.
In general, the Taurus sign (Golden Taurus!) - Banker's sign, and this should be remembered.
Most of the calves like smoking (more than other signs of the zodiac), and they hardly disapfive from smoking. But because of his care, the Taurus can smoke all the rubbish - from Samosha to the cheap "grass".
In the company, Taurus can show himself a pleasant companion, kind, dexterous, movable, but sometimes he becomes painful due to a lack of tact, because of his flagrance, rudeness, undisguised egoism and excessive chatter.
In his youth, there are many novels from Tales, but soon they understand that marriage is more important for them than success in love.
Marriage Taurus comes on the calculation. Very jealous. The mistress (lover) chooses itself also by calculation. Nevertheless, among the Tales more often than among other signs of the zodiac, there are homosexuals.
The ego centerrist with sadistic inclinations, the caller terrorizes the family from childhood and to deep old age, although the strangers seems polite and affectionate. Children should "walk on the string." In his (her) hands all family finances, and only he (she) is entitled to dispose of them.
The female Taurus is pleasant, but others can suppress her excessive practicality. Partner he chooses carefully. From her husband, she will always require moral, and material compensation for the youth and beauty given to him.
Women girls usually better than other signs of the zodiac know how to keep a man with them. But it is precisely the wives of the Taurles that the most terrible and irreparable old maids are obtained.
Taurus does not trust anyone, even to himself, and therefore the husband is a taurus painfully jealous.
Being a usurper of all the privileges to which he can reach, the Taurus in the family is a center and a unquestionable manager. Another he looks at work, where he is the most helpful member of the team. The bosses for it favors.
In general, the Taurus, being in nature tight and firmly stitched, is healthy, hardy and energetic. It is born with a strong constitution and can live to old age without any disease. Most of his diseases stem due to excessiveness in work, in drink, in smoking, in love joy. In case of disease, the calf does not recover too long, falling into the despondency and decay of the spirit.
The Taurus does not have a complex of inferiority, and therefore best career For him can be a career policy, military or athlete.
Taurus and Scorpio - two opposites to each other. The Union of Taurus with Virgin, Capricorn, Aquarius is not always favorable. Taurus should avoid fish and cancer. The partners of the Taurus can be scales and shooters, as well as for love and friendship - lion.

TWINS

from 22.05 to 21.06
- Who loves to rush over others?
- And who does not tolerate ridicule over himself?
- Who loves immense attention to yourself?
- Of course, it is forever quarreled twins!

from 22.06 to 22.07
- Who is changeable, like a capricious weather: it will fasten, then allows himself everything?
- and who can hope for the sympathy of this, the most needy in sympathy,
- Tolstopancyre cancer?

Cancers are closed losers and fatalists who do not believe that they can change their lives. This leads them to passivity, laziness and inertness.
Among all the signs of the zodiac cancer is the first challenger for the role of the energy vampire sucking the energy from the psychosphere of the environment.
If in the horoscopic map of the birth of cancer Moon "Strong" (it can only be installed a professional professional), then cancer risks to be the "lunar vampire". But for us for recognition in the lunar vampire cancer, the services of the astrologer will not need: Cracks-lunar vampires - whirlwind of life, constantly "crying in a vest" and waiting for sympathy. They strive for their experiences to "load" and his wife (husband), and friends, and their neighbors, and acquaintances, in order to partially "stick" their cross on them. These abilities of the lunar vampire are closely related to the phases of the Moon, exacerbating during the periods of the full moon. The moon controls the lunar vampire cancers, identifying the decline and their moods. Cancers are susceptible to the mood of others: at the time of depression they need communication on the psychological level with people capable of bringing them out of this mood. As soon as the mood of others worsen, cancer will feel a huge relief, the mental rise and will be released from the state of mental depression.
If in the horoscopic map of the birth of cancer of the moon "weak" (it can only be installed a professional professional), then cancer risks being "sunny vampire". But we can recognize it without an astrologer, since the crayfish-solar vampires are scandalusers by nature. They choose the victim, weak and susceptible to stress, impose her problem to her and provoke it to a dispute. The scandals learned by the solar vampire are constant and in no way connected with the pheasis of the Moon.
"Cancer - hysterical and liar. If he does not lie, it means in hysterics; if he is not in hysterics, then it is lying" (Astrologer A.N.Zhovov).
Cancers are sensual, easy wound and therefore terribly disrupted and offended. He is offended, they never forgive anyone.
In the work of cancers are relatively honest and almost reliable, but they do not like innovations. They possess exacerbated intuition, reaching mysticism, hiding it from others, as the colic in the stomach does not like to stand out from the crowd.
In the life of cancer - loser. He is a conservative and an opportunist, immersed in self-coating. Nothing is able to change his beliefs. Having learned that the costume on it sits well, cancer shutdown it to holes.
Cancer argues against any statement of contradictions from the spirit to melting over the opponent and grow in their own eyes.
From fear of cancer can attack the first, but usually, taking into account the danger, it is fleeing to his hole, to a place that he hurts and cherishes more than anything else. He is pleased to delays everything and all, building the host of the situation and pretending to be strong and confident. In fact, he is all afraid to colic.
Cancer considers everyone with loafers, for which he woven. Everyday work causes disgust in it, and he imperceptibly spikes him on others.
The object of love Cancer is difficult to find it difficult because of its high claims, and having loved, he can pursue the object of love for years.
Cracks - Mothers of all signs of the zodiac. They are good owners, but usually they love more children than their spouse. Yes, and they love their motherly.
Craks are rarely married at an early age, as the parental house is barely leaving and are too tied to the mother. Cancer owners and very jealous. Family for cancer is his fortress.
Cancer is the only zodiac sign that can find mutual understanding with all others, but special happiness finds with a scorpion, a virgin, Capricorn and fish.

from 23.07 to 23.08
- Who is proud of everyone that heifies him and close?
- And who expects the same from their surroundings?
- And just does not tolerate their insensible look?
- Ah, it is he, loving and royal lion!

Of course, not everyone is called upon to rule the empire and the world, but those born under the sign of the lion have the greatest chance to leadership. Lions are designed and managed, and love. They are deeply unhappy if they do not adhere in front of them. They are noble when it does not destroy their charisma power. The world for a lion is a huge scene on which the play is played, written for his dramatic talent. His inaccessible arrogance can poison the life of everyone.
"Do not excite the system called the Lion, otherwise he will lose its balance and falls on you from above. I did not say about the vestibular word: I'm talking about exciting" (by A.N. Yerzhov).
On the first impression of lions confident in themselves, but in fact they are peculiar to doubt. They are very concerned about their appearance (especially women). And they love a fat wallet very much.
Lions are generous to those, only those who love. They are not susceptible to the mood of others and never notice the hints made by them.
Lions are poorly understood in people, and therefore lions conquer flattery and praise. They are ambitious, unbelievable and aggressive. At the same time, they are also arrogant.
From early childhood, the lion has a tendency to drink and to extortion. As a child, he extorts money from his parents, then - among friends and acquaintances. Its hypertrophied pride and pride can poison the life of anyone, and the gluttony is to ruin any pocket. At the same time, he rarely get fat.
"Muffle the screw for a lion - that's all the cranes. This is, first of all, not the royal business! He will not dismount it: he will beat him with an ax along with the wall to the neighbor.
Lion - locksmith? Well, this is defective lion! He, probably, genitals square. Can not be. They do not grow hands from there. Here is a senior locksmith, this is yes! "(According to A.N. Yerzhov).
Lions love to earn big money and even more love to spend them. They take a lot of debt, distribute, spend, and in general - often do not live by means.
Lions are the most gambling and avid players in the card, in the lotto, on the Billiard, but their luck is very doubtful. At the same time, they are incorrigible shuilers.
At lion high indicator Success from all signs of the zodiac, but he also has the most terrible failures.
The lion loves the whole world to rotate around him, so always and in all seeks to be the first, if it does not work - it is silent and significantly reduced in size. He has an unshakable sense of its great grandeur, values \u200b\u200band infallibility.
Pride - the enemy of the lion, especially if it is not justified. In these cases, he comes to mental inflation: depression, quirks, broken painful humor. Then he becomes arrogant and a pompous person, punishing others for his unfulfilled Ambitions of Tirana. He becomes a slave of his vices, a small and restless adventurer who is considered only with himself. Developed against the background of all this "Napoleonic complex" can sometimes bring Leo to a crazy house.
About Lee say that he is more often growing than biting.
Perfect partners Lion - scales, crayfish, archers, aries, twins. Lviv mutual coldness with aquiet and with a taper.

VIRGO

from 24.08 to 23.09
- Who criticizes everything that sees and hears?
- Who analyzes each of your own and everybody?
- Who loves and cherished even their own diseases?
- Clear business, it is Virgo, practical bore!

Born under the sign of the Virgin Intellgengen, and has an analytical warehouse of the mind, but he is too much opinion about himself. In others, appreciates only erudition, and therefore often loses friends. For happiness, devans often lacks the ease of communication, although many people born under this sign achieved high results in the chosen activity.
But know: if after a few minutes of communication with a clever person, you want to dismember him and send it to the remains in several non-existent addresses, - this man on the horoscope is most likely - Virgo.
Virgo is "grief from the mind": she continuously hurts her mental gum, leading a mental dialogue with himself, building a cell (not always golden) in which it prefers to live.
Virgo has the charm of the rose-protected toad, the grace of the elephant from the dishwaste, the brains - the calculator.
Virgin is small, stingy, bore and jar. With its bore and their soldiers, the Virgin can destroy any business and bring anyone to white cation. Virgo never improvises, and make up the detailed, boring and painful plans for themselves and for themselves, and for their loved ones, despite their protests.
In the calculations of the expenditures of Virgo is totrosh, but spends a lot. Her sayings: "I pay twice" and "will not pay extra - do not ring." The inhabile things of Virgo buys without bargaining. Nevertheless, the Virgin love to keep things and hesitate when throwing old things.
The pedanthism of the Virgin is unbearable. In all, it has a cold calculation, and everything that she does is heavy and boring.
Virgin is the masters of intrigue, and they do not calm down, until the entire genus of their enemies will be wound up to the tenth knee.
The most terrible marriage, similar to the kernel, chained to the leg of the prisoner, is the "Virgo + Virgo", which was in the lion of Tolstoy.
Of the negative traits of the Virgin of the most repulsive friends and acquaintances from them - the eternal moralism, bordering their jewel and with their limitations.
The body of the Virgin does not feel part of nature. He has no energy of the Aries, the stock of the vital forces of the Taurus, the elasticity of the twins, the endurance of cancer, the resistance of the lion. It is shaved, it is easily tired, it often looks painful.
Typical virgin disease - constipation and intestinal spasms, threatening to poison the entire system if they are too tightened. From them, the Virgin is developing Merichundia (bad mood) and even an indium (indentation of the stomach). But Virgo has a first-class iron nerve system, and she knows how to speak with health problems. Here the Credo Virgin: "Beauty will save the enema!".
Virgo is watching symptoms and does not allow much to be aggravated. True, as a rule, it leads to an exaggerated attention to health, to the mania of purity, to the fear of microbes, excluding any normal contactsthat can even pour into sexual abstinence. True, the fact that the virgin is an obsession with a mania of purity - periodic, and already the next day, Virgo can fit into the dirt on the ears.
Virgin Hamyat in Jesuit: with a delicate cloth smile, they pour out a whole bag of arguments collected by them. At the same time, their eyes become prickly, and nose - a trunk nose. And more: when they are rude, they do not lie and do not speculate. These are the same they are infected and ulcers!
The virgin has no natural instinct to do anything. If their heart is caught, they retreat, go into the shelter to think. They hate and afraid of any unknown and expectations. The passion seems to be a virgin soul disease, which the mind must be cured. Virgo analyze their feelings, trying to minimize them with the help of mind, doubt, debate and ridicule, being nevertheless with the passion attached to the object more than they think.
Virgo is hot ice, and therefore does not pour his love with words, preferring the words. Tenderness seems to be a virgin of humiliation, and she considers himself above the Love Sysyukanya. The brilliant Tugodum of Virgo often "remains on the beans", being unable to choose how the drudins died, out of two something one, and that is why no sign has a larger number of bachelors and old maids, until the end of the days isolated in a cage or, As they say, "in the ivory tower."
Men-Virgo occupy 1st place in impotence among all the signs of the zodiac.
For the Virgin is favorable alliance with Capricorn, Taurus, scorpion and cancer, but she follows the Avda and Sagittarius.

It is unlikely that you can now find a person who has not read the horoscopes. But only in our age of science, not everyone trust astrology, although in many respects it turns out to be accurate. But the funny characteristic of the signs of the zodiac may well be interested in even the most famous skeptics. For reading joking horoscopes, you can pass time, have fun in the company and even explore the Astrology Ase. Light humorous form, making accents on the basic qualities of each sign, well helps in this interesting business.

Aries

All funny characteristics of the signs of the zodiac converge in one: to find a more elder disposer than this capricious and hard lamers, you will not succeed.

Aries hates a domestic routine, but will be happy to spin alongside and give out their innovative ideas without a silent. Make him to do what I do not want is almost impossible. But there is one little trick. Tell me that another person will fulfill it better. Here, Aries will break into the cake to prove his leadership and superiority.

The fiery nature of the Aries mark the funny characteristics of the zodiac signs. By the time that this person is ready to spend on the conquest of the object of his passion, he has no equal. Baran, he and Africa ram, walking through the jungle. Aries in this matter can even be chopped by a rocket - it acts instantly, it is simply unrealistic to get out of its courtesy. "You are attractive, I am damn attractive, so what time is the time" - here is his motto in love.

calf

Here he is a worthy competitor of Aries according to the degree of stubbornness. This will confirm you not only by ordinary horoscopes, but also any funny characteristic of the zodiac signs. Moreover, enviable persistence is attached as a "bonus" and bite of conservatism. Try to make the Taurus throw out something out of the outdated homemade hob and you will understand it. Whether it is a spoiled disk, which remains a notebook or brooded sneakers from school times - no matter. For him, all these things are valuable. And the calves are terrible bores: listening to their endless teachings, you can not only fall asleep, but also scribble.

Representatives of this constellation are closed personalities. It's easier to talk to the wall, rather than with Taurus. At least knocking on it, you will hear the hum. In the case of the Taurus, the illuminated silence and ringing silence are preserved.

To love, the attitude of the Taurus is the same as to things - the more money and time he spent, seeking you, the more valuable you will be for him. And do not wait for the originality in courtship - the conservatism of the Taurus applies to amourous things.

Twins

They are easy in matters and thoughts. Gemini from the breed of people who will perform "for any kipish, except for the hunger strike." According to the funny characteristics of the signs of the zodiac, by the date of birth and character, these personalities fully correspond to the withdrawal individuals, who in the head goes the whole company of the winds.

The love of twins to the chatter has a truly catastrophic character for those who are not twins themselves. For many hours, they may not silent, without paying attention to the reaction of others. It seems, even on their own commemoration, the twin will rise from the coffin and will tell to the faint to visit the guests a suitable anecdote.

Laziness of these personalities is as legendary as their conversational skills. Due to reluctance to deepen into some kind of topic and study it for a long time, they superficially describe this or that phenomenon, grabbing just a little. The ideal profession for them is the one that will help instantly and without unnecessary gestures to earn a million. Oh yes, the twin money needs a lot, because they spend them as easily and relaxed, as well as twitched by telephone.

Cancer

Nature intelligent, soft and romantic, even if externally looked like a smooth loaf, brutal male or an inoperative village. When watching Nedian films of erotic nature, they always secretly hope that at the end the main characters will be married.

The funny characteristic of the signs of the zodiac compares the crayfish with their nurse from the animal world. Like them representatives of this constellation, if they make a good step forward, they immediately run back. They are indecisive types that, because of their caution, are afraid to even change - you never know that on the mind of another person.

It is awakeful to joke in the presence of cancer undesirable, because people are sentimental and can be upset even because of the lung humor aimed at them or their loved ones. Satira about animals is a strictest taboo. They will rather survive the earthquake and tsunami than the black humor will be taken out about the unfortunate dogs and cats. About love adventures should also be joking carefully and preferably in a romantic key - then the cancer will tell the history of his story all in a row for a long time.

a lion

The only and unique proud and magnifier, even if it turns out to be locked in the zoo cage. Wild cries of nearby animals are not interested in him - he is an important person and it demonstrates it every way. If we consider the main characteristics of the signs of the zodiac, a funny description highlights the royalness of this person, knock the ardition with which it does not seem to be no trouble.

What is good for the very least, it happens not very fun and pleasant to his loved ones, because it requires an appeal, worthy of status. In his opinion, the surrounding should be happy already that His Highness is near. The Lion Aura is capable of overshadowing everything around his radiance, painting even a muddy swamp by all the colors of the rainbow.

However, sometimes in that whirlwind of events that the lion generates around himself can get at all what he would like. What can you do, such is the power of royal will. Want to recognize lions in your surroundings? Listen to the manner of the conversation: the use of pronouns "I" by this type will exceed all possible limits. Not so bad quality in our age for a person who wants to make a dizzying career, you will agree?

Virgo

The true confirmation of the fact that the exterior is deceptive, are representatives of this constellation. It would seem that with the word "Virgo" imagination draws us a cute, fragile and vanishing creation, which is sitting at home for needlework. Such a representation disagreeed astrologists, which constitute the characteristics of the signs of the zodiac. The funny irony of fate lies in the fact that in the reality, things are "a little" otherwise. Instead of a subtle-sensitive friend who supports with heavy times, comrades in all endeavors, Virgo can easily be ... serial killer. Yes, statistics argue that most Manyakov were born under this sign of the zodiac (and what else to expect from such accost and clean?).

His ability to adapt to the surrounding situation and always be emphasized with a polite and correct person, Virgo easily can use to achieve the desired goal. Do not have time to blink with the eye, and she already sits on right hand from the director. But the object of his love will not show sympathy for nothing, until it is convinced of the reciprocity of feelings and prospects. But then, even having received a refusal, wait patiently: suddenly something will change.

Libra

Whatever the funny characteristics of the signs of the zodiac, by the years and months they all accurately determine one thing: this sign fully justifies its name. People-scales are constantly being in the search for the equilibrium of the soul, and therefore they do not pay attention to the world of material. Let someone else deal with the solution of household problems, whether it is cooking, wash or cleaning, and the scales have more sublime.

People of this sign will forever throws in different directions. Quickly catching off with a new idea, all available resources will throw it to implement it. They will connect the village of the people and create an event of a state scale, but in the middle of the way they all tired. They quietly removed, leaving others to rack porridge-brewed.

The impermanence of weights applies and love affairs. And for them, this condition is so habitual that after treason, they will not even torment conscience. After all, they do not at all at all at all for the destruction of the family, and so, brought an intrigue. So deserve forgiveness.

Scorpio

These are real poisonous contagas. Funny characteristics of the signs of the zodiac in verses and prose challenges their ability to break the hearts of all who will be within visibility. Thank you in this necessary, the natural charm of scorpions and their ability to seduce. This sign has the ability to fall in love constantly in someone, and every time "to the coffin board". The object of attention will immediately be put before this fact. It is hardly able to open from the original courtships of Scorpion, and he does not want to - he is a subtle psychologist and will certainly be able to find a path to the heart of the beloved (or beloved).

Scorpions - Leaders from birth and smart not by year. If a representative of this sign chose a target for himself, then whatever it is a difficult to achieve, will go to her with principal stubbornness. And let them have to destroy everything that will be on the way - Scorpio will not stop it. But it will be with the same enthusiasm to build a new world after the arranged chaos.

Sagittarius

The people of this sign of the zodiac always reach the goal, even if it does not happen immediately. The funny characteristic of the signs of the zodiac advises to look at their symbol: everything will immediately become clear. Only now if others get the desired due to perseverance and hard work, the archers in this helps a passing wind, which directs the bruised arrows precisely in the apple.

By nature, there are real benefactors. Always try to regret all in a row and feed the suffering (and it does not matter what they think tidy). Their motto is "Who, besides me?". This is perfectly used by employers. Well, what, the Sagittarius will not mind if you load a bunch of work. It is only necessary to hint that for the company it is very important that everything is done. And just how exactly - the Sagittarius will be able to find a way.

But it is not worth opening to offend Sagittarius. No, they are not angry, just evil, and their memory is excellent. Remember you all misunderstandings from kindergarten. Yes, and, in general, it will easily be truth in the face, risking to get on the face of your own.

Capricorn

This is a pendulum person, which is always balancing between two extremes, as the funny characteristic of the signs of the zodiac assets. For children of this sign, adult seriousness and thoroughness is characteristic. With these qualities, Capricorn does not part even in old age. He rushes with his head, as if in the pool, and pull it simply unreal. He will spend all spiritual and physical strength even on an obviously impossible case. However, if Capricorn has impacted thoroughly, he will give up to this lesson completely, happily fun to complete degradation. You can save him from a sad fate. If you manage to distract attention to something more interesting.

Capricorns are incorrigible pessimists. If he is convinced that everything around the Grada creeps, which came to success on their heads or through the bed, then at least the chief of the tehensi on his head - do not convince anyway.

Aquarius

Slobraity is sprinkled out of water, like water from the crane. If someone is able to withstand this stream for a long time and even be an interesting interlocutor, so these are twins. Perhaps you can still argue who will negotiate in the end.

Love for Aquarius is primarily romance: walks at the moon, meetings of dawn. Get ready to conquer the ancient ruins hounded by secrets - this is an indispensable attribute of courtship for him. According to the funny characteristics of the signs of the zodiac, in verses and serenadas there is no equal. Women-aquities are accustomed to follow the field of heart. If it suggests that you should be together, wait for it on the threshold with suitcases.

What is most appreciated by Aquarius? Of course, they are ready to build around themselves the three-meter wall, if only no one touched them if I want to be alone. And no siege will help - the Aquarius made the necessary reserve of the liver and will still live and not trust in his cozy Mirka.

Fish

If anyone is able to create nothing for themselves and surrounding alternative fictional reality, so it is fish. And for them, the world of fantasy will be the same here as our usual. They will easily kill anyone. Baron Münhhausen, for example, according to the characteristics of the signs of the zodiac, inexperienced and timid male, gluttony icon.

Ask this person about anything - flowers water in your absence, a diploma for you to write - he will certainly break into the cake, but will take a request. Such an altruist was grew, nothing can be done. In love, fish are shy and careful, will walk around for a long time, before you take a step towards. Vanilla is about them: sad breaths, touching gifts, awkwardness and tears at night, and, most importantly, all thoughts are only about him (or about it). So if you are ready to take the fish in love and under the focus in the right direction (and then a whole life then push kicks forward) - dare.

Aries are always pleased with himself, which is reflected on his face. He rarely thinks, says and does the same thing. Usually he does everything not as it should, but only dose him to say about it. You will then regret that they were born. The stubbornness of Aries go legends, and not surprisingly, Baran, he is a ram.

If he is pregnant, it will not shift it from the place. He always has two opinions on all events and phenomena, one thing - his, the other is wrong. Aries says that he is never mistaken, and therefore he believes that God most likely was a bird.

In the love of Aries as stubborn, as in all other things. And if he achieves someone's location, then it does it until the object of his passion does not get tired of refusing him. And when he will achieve the location of the partner, he does not know himself why he needed it.

In the process of siege (it lasts a very long time), the object loses its attractiveness for him. Those who are loved by Aries, just regret.
In the family of Aries love to indicate, but nothing wants to do anything. And with such a convenient position for him, it is never shifted.

Cheerful Horoscope for Taurus

Taurus is very stubborn, in this, it looks like a Aries. It will be able to convince him only the one who will admire the Taurus, to tell him that he is always right, but, meanwhile, issuing his ideas, for the ideas of Taurus. Women girls are very emotional and trusting.

About our love relationship She speaks only in an excellent degree. And, if a man tells her that she can't live without her, she really believes.

Men-Taurus - drives and scopidomes. They drag into the house, everything they will fall at hand: old household appliances, broken furniture, unnecessary women. And then surprised why in the house is so closely and noisy (noise - from a woman who also can't understand why she was dragged here).

The calves love different conflicts very much and with pleasure take into them the hottest participation, not interested in the cause of the conflict. And when they find out the cause of the disassembly, they beat themselves in the chest and say: "E-mine, because of what nonsense was fighting!".

Cheerful Horoscope for Gemini

Gemini are two very similar man in one person. Because they are very similar, it annoys them, and they argue all the time. If one says "I want this woman," another necessarily objects to "what is this slava?". And as a result, the twin male chooses another, and then surprised "and what did I find in it?"

Women twins are contradictory and are inconstant in their predensions. They change men so often that sometimes do not even have time to remember the name of the next partner. And in order to finally do not get confused in the names of His news, they call everyone the same "My Hercules", while the next lover does not turn out to be a low, slender man.

He, of course, takes such an appeal for a mockery. In everyday life, the twins are very indecisive. Could not take a quick right solution, because one twin pulls in one direction, the other - (from harm) to another. And it turns out as in the immortal labor V.I. Lenin "Step forward, two ago."

Merry Cancer Horoscope

Cancers are very cowardly and buggy. They are constantly afraid that they are accused, so everyone is trying to please and everyone gives a bunch of impracticable promises. They say they are mainly slogans and stereotypes so that others do not suspect them in some rear thoughts.

They lie crayfish, not blushing (red crayfish only boiled) and very ingeniously. No wonder among politicians, so many crayfish.
In love, racks are very careful, picky and carefully choose a partner at least a living, even at night. Rail and move, as in second-hand collaps.

And when friends are surprised in such a long search for his beloved (beloved): "What are you choosing a cow?", Cracks answer thoughtfully: "Cow can be sold, and with this (this) - all my life (night) to suffer."

At the work of the rainfish and Lizoblyud, the heads for them are gods and celestials, but if the case (and it will be safe for cancer), will be happy to submit the leg of his favorite head.

Cheerful horoscope for lion

Lion in nature King Beast. People zodiac sign Leo never forget about it. They are arrogant, selfish, always confident in their superiority and do not suffer someone else's opinion. You will be the best friend of the lion, if you constantly flatter him and praise his dignity.

Lions are very like to hang their portraits on the walls, and the larger the image - the better.
Women Lions, like the females of the spider "Black Widow" if they do not destroy their chosen one after the night of love, then they gnaw him the rest of his life, or before that time the partner has enough patience.

Men-lions love only themselves, love someone else not capable. Therefore, they choose women who know only two words "yes" and "Listen."

Merry Horoscope for Virgin

If your sign on the Zodiac Virgo, then your loved ones and friends are terribly lucky. You are preserved at the same order, scrupulousness and cleanliness. Virgin is extremely neat and techniques. The need to come and make cleanliness, goes to passion. If you got up from a chair or sofa in the apartment of the Virgin, she immediately begins to smooth cape and shake off non-existent dust from it.

If Virgo gets into a small automobile accidentThe first thing that she tells the approaches to the inspector about the second participant of the accident: "No wonder that this kettle came into an accident, see what a dirty car he had!".

Mandatory subject in the house of the Virgin - Mupa. With it, she considers all objects of the situation in the house, so she is looking for dust.
Deva's love relationships also strictly plans, meetings, and she has a schedule with a partner.

Cheerful horoscope for weights

The scales of Tomny and are elegant and full of incomprehensible mysteriousness and incomprehensive, the rest of humanity, nobility. They love to dress fashionable and carefully follow the fashion. The thrust look fashionably they are so great that if someone assumes them that it is fashionable: women scales will wear the skirt inside out, and men instead of a trouser shirt and will be tied up a knot on the belt.

The scales love everyone to teach everyone and explain everything to everyone. For example, with perseverance worthy better applicationwill tell you what is the difference between coffee latte, from coffee with milk. And it is useless to object to them that this is the same.

In love, scales are mysterious and unpredictable. Sometimes a chosen one (chosen) of the scales cannot understand what is trying to say a partner-scales. Whether invites you to an intimate date, whether it says goodbye forever.

Cheerful horoscope for scorpion

Scorpions consider themselves irresistible personalities, they can look at the mirror for hours and admire their own person. They are great inventors and are always full of ambitious plans, but as soon as it comes to the embodiment of these plans to life, they stop in the early difficulties, while saying "not very much."

Scorpions are very loving and indecently sexy. We are proud of their love victories and talk about it on every corner. That's just one small nuance, male scorpions like such women, looking at which the rest of the men say: "No, so much vodka I don't drink", and women scorpions choose their chosen chosen, about which we can say that they only tear yesterday with Tree or crawled to land.

Cheerful horoscope for fire

Sagittarius Such adventurers that are simply dangerous with them. They can offer you to jump with a parachute, having assured you that this hundred times did it and even offer you to lay a parachute. I do not agree, otherwise, their satisfied face will be the last thing you will see in life.

Do not think to acquaint your chosen one (choices), if it's a shooter, with parents. The ancestors will be shocked.
Sagittarius careless and wrong lovers. After parting with you in the evening, having assured you in my passionate love, in the morning he may simply do not remember about you.

Cheerful horoscope for Capricorn

Capricorps is a kind of lion mixture and the Virgin. They believe that the same charismatic, like lions, and are also logical as the Virgin. In fact, they have the self-conceit of Lviv and the sadness of the virgins.

Capricorns are terrible workaholics, but they work with such a gloomy and dull look, which I want to say: "Purpose another face, a little more fun."

In love Capricorns Pessimists. Its elect (chosen) can prove his love a hundred times, but Capricorn is firmly sure that he will certainly give up. What is most often happening, the partner is boring to fight with the universal despondency of Capricorn.

Cheerful Horoscope for Aquarius

Aquarius the most "knowledgeable" people in the world. Ask the Aquarius than sick in childhood the hope of Krupskaya or from which stars is the constellation of Sagittarius, and he will tell you with a smart look and will tell you very much.

Aquarius loves their body very much, love to be bare, and therefore nudist beaches visit very willingly.
Aquarius beautiful lovers, and if you still listen to them constantly, with all agree and admire their extensive knowledge, Aquarius will love you like Romeo.

Merry horoscope for fish

Fish is very vengeful creatures, God forbid, offend this sign. Outwardly, they will not show that they are offended, but you will subsequently regret long ago that they offended fish.

Fish is very slow in everything, and they are the same drivers. If you see that a car is driving at a highway at a speed of 40-50 km per hour, be sure of the representative of this sign.

In love, fish are cold and predictable, it is talking about them "Skin fish". But they think themselves, almost scorpions in love relationships.

Aries

Let's start to get acquainted with how the signs of the zodiac are offended, with a cute lamb. The one who managed to hurt him may not be particularly worried. To dodge, this villain will still not have time. Aries - people are foul, they are not able to remember the resentment for a long time. They will definitely forgive: once on the head with something heavy, the second - on the kidney foot. Then, however, they will regret if the offender is caught up. In general, these cute creatures are able to not respond to stimuli if headphones in the ears, claim their horoscope. How the signs of the zodiac, hairds are offended, in principle, anyway. The lambs are concentrated in their own world, where justice reigns (as they understand it). Offended Aries is better not to touch a couple of days (or years). Then he will possess an evil act and will behave as before. Aries have a strange feature to try on the suffering of the offender. After a couple of days, indeed, they will try to understand him, even the flowers can bring to the hospital, where the previously retained health has been restored.

calf

If this horny resident of heaven patronize your loved ones or familiar, then the information about how the signs of the zodiac are offended, vital. Read and align, will not be superfluous. Taurus irritate categorically not recommended. He just has excellent, incredible patience. He is offended, he will cherish, worry, stop, in no way showing his emotional state. When it comes it, I will plant the "villain" on an uncomfortable stool and will become selflessly read notation. Taurus comes to all cases is extremely responsible. Sitting on the Kalchey "Calp" will have long, and it will not be off. The Taurus will recall all the dirtyness and the pregasses committed by you since the Tsar of Pea. In his speech, he will definitely include the most important information about how different signs of the zodiac are offended by making an emphasis on their own. It's better not to hide it, but to ask for forgiveness. Maybe lucky, and the calf will not let the hoof.

Twins

It is unpleasant to quarrel with the representative of this sign. And for both sides. Gemini will be survived to such inconsidery and instantly react by offense. The hurricane will last long, it will be possible to survive almost everyone. Handscapes are not worth the villain. He is dipped in dirt in words. The scandal will also suddenly. More twins about you will never remember!

Cancer

People who are under the auspices of this sign are so sentimental and romantic that those surrounding in addition to will fall under their charm and relax. And they would remember the clashes. Cancers are offended often and tastefully. These people have hypertrophied sensitivity. Any little thing can hurt them and plunge into the puchin of angry experiences. Remove such a change in the mood, right there sincerely roll! In the first moments, the villain still has a chance to leave without much losses. True, canceli will try to thoroughly test the offender for the truth of repentance, waiting for the trick. You need to convince all my might, otherwise you are waiting for a terrible revenge. Her crayfish is preparing with pleasure, trying to hurt a particularly thin strings of the soul of the villain to hit more. Creative Natures Already it will still be how the signs of the zodiac are offended, they will postpone the comic horoscope aside. For equilibrium cancer, it is necessary to return justice to the world, giving the offender with equal suffering that they will be brazily.

a lion

With representatives of this star tribe, you can forget about caution. Interested in how the signs of the zodiac are offended, people read about lions with surprise and enthusiasm. But the thing is that the kings are not necessary to respond to some nonsense. The lion may well miss the ears of an offensive remark, turn away at the moment when he is trying to hurt. Why does he, the individual royal, engage in petty claims of mortals? Well, if you are persistent, it goes so that your feet shook. This incident will be exhausted. Lions are not hammered by nonsense, they have a lot of royal affairs without this, and there are even more plans. Especially annoying offenders can show fangs. But this happens rarely. Their authority is so uninterrupted that few people have to annoy them.

Virgo

Exploring the symptism on the signs of the zodiac, astrologers found a real psychological phenomenon. It is connected with the Virgin. These people are in principle not offensive. To touch them, you need to try very much. If they still decided to offend the virgin, take care of the first to the testament. And the point is not that the evil will hide. Not at all. Virgin forget the insults quickly, almost instantly. But will come according to their life principles. They will enlist the villain in all black lists, koi lead from infancy. And for those who are there, it is necessary to pay on business. The revenge will overtake the offender inevitably, and from the other side, where did not wait. Life will seem completely destroyed, the heart is broken, the ideals are promoted and the like. Tie a catastrophe with an offended Virgin, this unfortunate will also fail.

Libra

Here on whom you should focus when studying how different zodiac signs are offended. Scales love to ponsortion, deliberately demonstrating the villain the whole degree of his vile fall. Revenge these people do not know how. But to wear with his offend will be with desperate perseverance and taste. If you do not apologize immediately, get ready for censure from "wide community circles." Scales will definitely inform all familiar and not very much about how vigilantly did it. Black gossip is their horse. History will delay for many years. Scales are fundamentally opposed to evil, wherever they discovered. They are important to eradicate it on the planet, they will not regret forces. Try to clarify the relationship immediately, otherwise you will be listed in the list of evasion of hell with all possible consequences.

Scorpio

Scorpio - master of revenge. Evil in relation to itself and resentment these people are carefully collecting and stored as collectors. For each offense follows the payback. This is not just a principle for them, but passion. The offender will regret that once contacted scorpion. By the way, this is the only sign that does not happen to physical violence. Itself will not wave the fists, but the mordellite can arrange. Scorpions are followed by the trace of the offender stubbornly by a greyhound, chasing the beast. Their poison will certainly overtake prey. The only person who is outside the risk zone is a favorite scorpion. This person will be all forgiven.

Sagittarius

There is no sign peaceful. However, these cuties can be hurt much. The result will be worse than when scorpion offended. Sagittariov will not be engaged in planning revenge or pour in the corners. These are open and honest people, they will lose their emotions on their head. The scandal will be as amicable as the experiences of the lean. The offender is more than once during this phantasmagoria, the thought of using the rope with soap will come to mind. Believe me, it is easier to part with life than to withstand angry outpouring. Try to distract it by offering a joint journey at your expense. Hearing about the upcoming trip to the distant edges, the Sagittarius will take a disagreement. The second time try not to run on his anger, if you value relationships. Sagittarius will go away in the distance, not wanting to mess around with the re-education of the "incorrect" villain.

Capricorn

That's who is not inclined to react to someone else's dullness. Capricorn can be offended only on the evil criticism of his beloved project. In this case, you risk getting to his pre-ending horns. It is better to immediately approach the decision of the issue constructively, come and explain. Five minutes of shame, as they say, and all problems are solved. IN otherwise Know what is the revenge of Capricorn. This person is patient and calm. He does not suit the hysteria, will not be scandaling. Even to communicate will be, as before. He will wait. And when you need his support in an important issue, will forget the existence of such a person. In addition, Capricorns spend a lot of strength to conquer friendship strong Mira of this These influential people Also will take care of you under the influence of offended Capricorn. The world will flow forward to success, and you will remain to suffer on the shore.

Aquarius

Do you think that a person who patronizes this sign? In vain. Aquarius reacts negatively in the emotional plan only by rejection of its ingenious ideas. The criticism of his wounds and is alarming at the same time. He will not be able to understand, not such. First of all, Aquarius will be doubtful in the mental ability of the offender. Having made the conclusions, it will decide that it's not worth spending on a fool. It will go there, where there are intellectuals that can appreciate his genius. Do not wait for a cunning or evil woven behind your back. This man has already forgotten about your existence. His intelligence is engaged in salvation of the world and the generation of global ideas. It is not enough to think about the fools who dared to criticize his work. We want to restore the relationship, you have to show the initiative. Talk to the Aquarius about the essence of the world, the viciousness of mankind, prove that you have the right to his attention.

Fish

When you find out how the signs of the zodiac react, do not miss crucial information. Fish do not like to be offended, but they know how. The representative of the sign is not malicious, but immediately will not forgive. The fish inflates the sponge, carefully picking up the facial expressions to demonstrate the offender emotional condition. She will come across the eyes carefully following the reaction. You do not ask for forgiveness? Well, okay. Fish will be forgive, because the wrinkles appear from the wrath, and they do not need it. But from this point on, a different game will begin. Fish will try to prove to the whole world that they are the essence of angelic, and you are a demon in the flesh. Believe me, they are in this case there are no equal. We will not have time to look back as the public will be on the side of the offended fish, and you are already disturbed by Anathema. Why was it to persuade, asked? They would say right away that the wrongs, everything would be over, did not have time to begin. And now stand in front of the choice: or run to the edge of light, or prove that not from hell joined.

So the signs of the zodiac on offenders react. Astrologers tried to identify specific traits. Naturally, every person has their own individual characteristicsaffecting behavior in stressful situations. Observations show that the deviation from the above descriptions are at the level of statistical error. And how do you react to the resentment? Is the description coincided with your behavior? Write in the comments to correct the findings of stellar researchers.