If the son drinks, the mother suffers incredibly. This is a real grief for the family. It is impossible to calmly watch how the beloved child gradually degrades and gets drunk, and there is nothing worse for a mother than to admit that her son is drinking, that he has become an alcoholic. After all, you can't leave him, you can't get a divorce from him, as you can easily do with a drunken husband. And where there used to be harmony, love and care reigned, hell begins.

When the son drinks, any mother will want to help him get rid of alcoholism, as well as the father. Family support is paramount in the care of a teenager or adult son. Help must be correct and timely.

The reasons for drunkenness

The modern world slips alcohol at every turn. Every second drinks, drinks a lot at holidays, events. Sooner or later, a teenager will face the temptation, where he will have a choice: to try alcohol for the first time or, knowing where it can lead, refuse and not even try to get high from intoxication.

When a young man drinks for the first time, he treats alcohol carefully, observes his body. He may like the fact that with every sip there is an unprecedented lightness, the mood rises, problems and fears fade into the background. This is a very dangerous moment that can lead a teenager to think that increasing the dose is okay, and the pleasant sensations will only intensify. After that, problems begin that roll like a snowball, and this avalanche can no longer be stopped. A disease arises in which a sober state is interspersed with hard drinking: a person drinks without stopping.

The main reasons for drunkenness:

1. Heredity. Often it is the child of alcohol-dependent parents who gets drunk faster.
2. The desire for rebellion. It manifests itself in relation to parents who are overly concerned about the child.
3. Desire to look older. A teenager who drinks wants to prove that he is already an adult and begins to drink alcohol like an adult.
4. Lack of intellectual development. If a teenager does not have hobbies, hobbies, interesting and useful activities, then it will be extremely difficult for him to resist pressure from the outside.
5. Lack of purpose in life. The pleasure of drinking can replace a person's need to do something worthwhile in life.
6. Frequent stress. Failures in relationships, experiences can affect a weak and indecisive teenager so much that he simply drinks himself intoxicated from loneliness.

Addiction symptoms

It is very important to recognize alcohol dependence early, notice its development, and stop the alcohol addiction before it is too late. Teenage alcoholism is dangerous: the abuse of strong drinks leads to the destruction of not yet fully formed organs. It is important to recognize the problem in time and take action quickly. The main signs that the son is drinking:

• Unjustified changes in mood. The teenager becomes emotionally unstable.
• Apathy for life. Indifference to their relatives appears, as well as to outward appearance, which should be alarming.
• Behavior in which aggression, anger, irritability, and lack of control are often traced.
• Frequent use alcoholic beverages, regardless of whether it is a holiday or an ordinary day. The dependent son drinks for no reason, outside the company, alone.

An adult should monitor the behavior of a teenager who drinks alcohol. In the midst of alcoholism, the son drinks, suffers from a hangover in the morning, then starts everything in a circle: gets drunk and goes into binge drinking for several days, or even weeks. Drinking doses are increasing. The problem becomes so obvious that it is noticed not only by the parents, but also by the people living in the neighborhood.

What not to do

Parents sometimes misbehave towards their son who drinks. This is especially true for mothers. A teenager or already an adult man can borrow a large amount of money, pawn family jewelry in a pawnshop, start skipping school, college or work. And a caring mother often takes responsibility for the actions of her son: she justifies him in front of the director, the boss, buys out the pledged things, pays debts out of her own pocket. As a result, codependency arises, and the young alcoholic, seeing that he can get away with everything, does not seek to change anything in his life. Psychologists advise giving up such "care", which in the end will bring nothing to all family members, except for disappointment and grief.

At the same time, one cannot completely abandon a son who drinks and needs help. But help should be provided in terms of moral support, benevolent attitude, wise advice. If you scandalize, escalate the situation, the son will continue to drink as he drinks and will never stop: he will even more begin to hide his soul in alcohol from unkind relatives.

There is no need to indulge all the desires of a son, especially if he requires alcohol: give him money, do whatever he wants. It is also important to treat him as a person, not humiliating his dignity, not despising him, and demonstrate a desire to help. Only if the alcoholic begins to fully trust his parents, they will be able to direct him on the right path, to help heal. The main goal: to persuade the son for treatment, relieving him of addiction; because he drinks and suffers himself, not always realizing it.

The alcoholic needs to be helped out of the deep pit of drunkenness, and not pushed away in trouble. The dependent son wants to know how to live further, what to do, because he himself is not able to cope with himself. Parents of a drinking son should behave patiently, kindly, but firmly, showing perseverance where necessary. The advice and advice of a psychologist is very important in this case, as they can help parents choose correct technique communication with your son, so as not to aggravate the situation.

First you need to create a peaceful atmosphere at home, stop all kinds of war and scandals. They will never help a son who drinks to give up his addiction. Mother and father need to understand: besides them, their son, who drinks, is of no use to anyone. Therefore, it is necessary to become his ally, to show that parental love, despite drunkenness, has remained and has not disappeared anywhere. An addict needs love like no other. Compassion should be shown in moderation so that the drinking son does not "climb on his head" and would not use it in his own interests.

Laziness is a vice that everyone else entails, including alcoholism. It is necessary to involve the son who drinks in household chores so that he gradually begins to fulfill his duties and is busy. If possible, you can get him a job or, if he is old enough, hint from time to time that for a full life it is necessary to work and provide for himself and his family.

Frequent conversations are very important. They will show the son that, although he drinks, he is not alone, that there are those nearby who will not quit, who sincerely desire his healing. You can tell him the story of a man who drinks, how he struggled with vice and emerged victorious. It doesn't matter if this story is fiction. She will be able to instill hope in her son. Parents should do their best to help their son gain confidence in their abilities, set him up mentally to undergo serious treatment in a rehabilitation center.

What to do: treatment methods

Get rid of alcohol addiction not easy. But with a strong desire, parents will be able to save their son, restore his health and full life. The main thing is to start acting on time. At home, you can fight your son's alcoholism with prayers. This is the method when you can cure your son without his knowledge.

Believing parents can direct a drinking person to God, inviting him to go with them to church, to a monastery. In fact, faith is a very powerful tool, thanks to which one can recover from alcoholism without taking medication, filing and coding. Psychologists say that the right effect on the soul is always stronger than any traditional means of treatment. If the parents behave wisely, the son can go to church, repent of the sin of drunkenness, stop drinking, and everything in his life will change for the better.

There are various approaches to therapy. A long stay in a rehabilitation center, where ministers of churches and simply disinterested people who do good from the heart, often work will help wean you off drunkenness. Parents can bring their son to such a center and persuade him to stay there, visiting and supporting him from time to time.

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Alcohol enters the family imperceptibly and becomes a problem for everyone, but if the mother realizes that her son is drinking, this burden falls on her shoulders. Even admitting to oneself that the son is an alcoholic becomes a super difficult task. The mind says one thing, but the heart says something else.

You cannot divorce a child, leave him, leave him alone with a pathological addiction. I would like to turn back time, understand what led him to a glass, protect him from mistakes, restore peace and harmony in the family. Sometimes this requires very little: to hear him and lend him a helping hand. But this is the most difficult part.

Once a problem is discovered, there is a moment of confusion. Many mothers, by inertia, continue to observe how their son becomes a drunkard, not understanding what and how to do in such a situation. They believe the excuses of a loved one, forgive him for the loss of money and things from home, the lack of desire to work and the loss of a job. There is a glimmer of hope in my heart that the son will come to his senses, will pull himself together.

This indecision on the part of the mother is understandable: she is afraid to aggravate the problem. And that makes sense. Psychologists have proven that alcohol addiction can develop in two ways: negative and positive. Moreover, both depend on the nature of the person at the center of the problem.

Someone will be able to find the strength in themselves and put an end to the obvious evil, while someone, in spite of everything, will be at the very bottom. The only thing that remains standard is that over time, the drinker's attitude to alcohol changes.

In many cases, the alcoholic takes too long to realize what is happening. And here the responsibility falls on the shoulders of loved ones. Reducing the time of realizing trouble is not an easy task. Our life is so arranged that we are faced with alcohol almost every day: weddings and funerals, anniversaries and birthdays, meetings with friends and graduation balls, the assignment of a new title and the next step in the career ladder. Great shopping, finally, first date, vacation. The reasons are countless.

It is difficult to understand that against this background dependence on alcohol is beginning to form. A psychological portrait of an alcoholic can help. For the mother, this is key if she suspects too much of an ethanol craving. Such an image is not directly related to the son, it is abstract and so good.

There are several fundamental points:

• After drinking alcohol, the son begins to make grandiose plans for the future. He wants to change his life drastically, and he is sure that he will succeed. But in a sober state, this is out of the question.
• He is always in a good mood after drinking, and therefore he has a desire to increase the dose of alcohol in order to prolong the pleasure. For the time being, there is no hangover syndrome.
• An increase in the dose leads to discomfort in the morning (pre-hangover syndrome), the son begins to reproach himself for incontinence. But as soon as the unpleasant sensations pass, remorse disappears, there is a desire to rest in the company again.

It is very important not to miss this first “symptomatology”. To understand that the son has embarked on the path leading to alcoholism, to help him realize this.

Why does the son start drinking?

There are not so many reasons for being addicted to ethanol, but they are all associated with stressful situations for the body. Parents play an important role in creating this latent stress.

In other words, a number of physiological and psychological factors are necessary for the formation of an addiction to alcohol:

• Heredity, when a mutation occurs in genes linked to the sex. It is caused by the passion of one of the parents, or both, for alcohol and is manifested precisely in the sons. Daughters turn out to be practically inert to such gene changes.
• Traumatic brain injury becomes a trigger of pathological cravings for alcohol.
• Inherited psychotic traits of the parents (epilepsy, hysteria, psychopathy, schizophrenia).
• Low self-esteem of the individual, the desire to gain authority from friends and colleagues.
• Errors in upbringing: overprotection of parents until a serious age (it is time for a son to have his own family, and he depends on his mother, does not know how to make decisions on his own).
• Lack of hobbies with an abundance of free time.
• Limited thinking, outlook.
• The offense that the son hides from others can become the strongest motivation for alcohol addiction. It is a maternal duty to be aware of the affairs of your child (albeit a completely adult, but living with you).
• Peer influence is relevant for men of any age.

It is unobtrusive to control the situation, to be a friend to your son - to see the beginnings of alcoholism in time.

It should be understood that not all causes can be eliminated at home, some require a visit to a doctor, the sooner the better.

How to identify a behavioral bias?

The bottom line is changing alcohol habits. If before there was enough a large glass of beer on weekends for good relaxation, now one and a half bottles a day is not enough. This is a cause for concern on the part of the mother.

Signs of an incipient addiction can be:

• The frequency of alcohol consumed, its dosage, volume. This is the most important sign of the onset of addiction.
• A sharply negative reaction to parents' questions about the frequent get-togethers with alcohol.
• Indifference to your appearance.
• Frequent absence from home for no reason.
• Presence in the house if a feast is planned.
• Loss of interest in meeting friends for the sake of a drinking company.
• Improving the mood with the opportunity to have a drink.
• The disappearance of money from the house.
• Hangover in the morning.

The totality of all the symptoms is the beginning of a persistent addiction to alcohol, which requires correction by specialists. But even a combination of a couple of signs indicates the birth of a serious problem. The next step will lead to mental problems and diseases of internal organs.

You should think about helping your child. Its meaning is in a serious sober conversation about possible consequences with a clear justification of their cause - alcoholism. Let him, in a confidential atmosphere, try to understand what is on the brink of disaster: the loss of a loved one, dismissal, lack of money, illness, imminent disability and an inglorious death at a young age, suffering of relatives and friends.

What shouldn't be done?

If you need to solve a problem of any complexity, then the main thing is to develop the right strategy and tactics. It is necessary to clearly define what should not be done in a non-standard situation under any circumstances.

In case of detection of a son's addiction to alcohol, you should not:

• Patronize him. We need to try with all our might to stop advertising their experiences, stop being interested in whether he ate, whether everything is good with his health, whether he needs anything. Let him go and give him complete freedom. Let him do what he wants and does not interfere with the mother's life. The emphasis needs to be placed on precisely this. If he came late and at the same time drunk, in the morning there is no need to reproach him for having drunk, but you can reprimand him for waking up family members with his late arrival and did not let him rest in peace at night.
• Screaming at my son. Any quarrels will aggravate the already difficult situation... They will put him in a defensive position, make him withdraw into himself, deeply hide the resentment, worry, seek solace in alcohol.
• Threatening or blackmailing. If no one is going to kick him out of the house, you shouldn't even bring up this topic; if there is no desire to deprive him of the right to take the car, there is no need to take away the keys; you should never talk about what will not be done. To say and not to do is to lose respect in the eyes of your son, to lose your influence on him.
• Beg the son to come to his senses, appeal to his feelings. It will be annoying and nothing more.
• Treat your son secretly from him, without consulting a specialist. This can add to the problems.
• Pity him about the terrible alcohol that dared to attack a defenseless child.
• Postpone a professional solution to the problem, that is, a visit to the doctor.

What can and should be?

It is necessary to establish a relationship of trust and try to find out the reason for the addiction to alcohol in order to eliminate it. For this you need:

• Demonstratively show the son that he is loved and interested in communicating with him. Make this conversation enjoyable and interesting for both.
• In an unobtrusive form, explain to him that it is not the alcohol itself that is terrible, but the scorched field that remains after it.
• In every conversation, conversation, random pair of phrases, give examples of the negative effects of ethanol. You can try to tell him a fictional story supposedly from the young life of a mother or a relative, when alcohol almost took the life of a loved one, and the son might not have been born at all. It should be explained how dear the child and his father are, how afraid it is to lose them, to lose confidence. It is necessary to focus on the fact that his behavior can cause unpleasant memories of mistakes, that is, he unwittingly becomes the cause of discord in the family.
• Show him a disabled person in a wheelchair, saying that the reason for the amputation is alcohol. Pay attention to a woman beaten by her husband for the same reason, to a hungry child in the entrance, who cannot get into the house because of drinking parents. It should be shown to the son that this is the perspective of his drunken life; you need to speak calmly, but convincingly.
• It is safe to hide all valuables and money in the house, explaining this by the fact that, on the advice of a friend who works at the bank, they started a cell for storing valuables.
• Eliminate the presence of alcohol in the house in any way: bottles, medicines, external skin disinfectants.
• Do not interfere with the problems that arise with his girlfriend, friends, work colleagues.
• Make your stay at home desirable, create an atmosphere of warmth, comfort, peace.
• Allow meeting with friends for chess or the computer.

All this should lead the son to the realization that he is powerless over alcohol and awaken a desire to cope with this condition. This will be the first step towards recovery.

Once this happens, he will be obliged to take the following steps with your support and help:

• Refuse alcohol.
• Interrupt communication with drinking companions.
• Change your lifestyle.
• Find new friends with a broad outlook, interesting in communication.
• Find a cool hobby that can replace the pleasure effect of ethanol.
• Workout.
• Marry.
• Become a good father and head of a family that needs to be taken care of.
• I would like to thank my mother and father for their support and for helping in difficult times.

When do you need to take action?

If self-awareness of the trouble has not happened, you should not waste time and seek help from professionals. It is necessary to connect to the treatment the entire arsenal of modern means and methods of combating addiction: hypnosis, laser, acupuncture, drugs, coding, homeopathy, traditional medicine and non-standard techniques. The doctor will tell you about everything. He will also carry out a complete clinical and laboratory examination and recommend the optimal technique, a set of related measures. Treatment control and rehabilitation is his prerogative.

You can also turn to the help of the church. This has never made anyone worse. In general, a lot depends on the mother, her love for her son, perseverance, willpower, patience and tact. The task is to awaken in the son the desire to live normally, to get rid of the addiction.

Your Narcologist Warns: Teenage Alcoholism

Addiction to alcohol in a teenager is a severe pathology that has its own characteristics. First of all, their craving for alcohol is compulsive, that is, it has the character of an irrepressible desire to get pleasure. Such an aspiration develops very quickly, sometimes from the first glass and is accompanied by the formation of physical dependence on alcohol.

Compulsive attraction can be of three types: not dependent on alcohol intoxication, it can be interrupted by willpower; arising from intoxication and withdrawal syndrome. This mechanism can only be blocked by medication.

Since the adolescent has not yet reached physical maturity and mental perfection, against the background of craving for alcohol, somatic, psychopathic, and mental disorders arise and rapidly progress. They require serious psychological and sometimes psychosomatic correction.

There is no exact data on teenage alcoholism. Approximately, about 15% of adolescents hospitalized in neuropsychiatric dispensaries have just such a diagnosis. This is a huge problem for modern society and its future.

The legacy of the 90s, among other things, is that the age of first drinking has decreased from 18 to 10 years. Moreover, both boys and girls began to drink in the same way. Taking into account the fact that a persistent addiction to alcohol occurs in adults after 10 years of regular ethanol intake, the formation of adolescent alcoholism within three years looks frightening.

Not only the tight deadlines for the development of addiction, but also gross destructive changes in all internal organs, leading to infertility, the birth of children with congenital anomalies, vices, intellectual degradation pose the task of the state to eradicate this evil. Parents are on the front line of the battle for the lives of our children.

Good day! I have an adult son - 31 years old. I will not say that he is an alcoholic, but everything is heading towards this. He himself does not even notice (or does not want) how he is being dragged on. Friday ends with another (most likely more than one) bottle of beer. He can, without going home after work, buy beer and drink with his "friends", then go for the next portion and for the next, and so on until stupefying and even until the morning.

And since he is underweight (thyroid), he doesn't need much. Yes, and some kind of "bad" beer. It happened that he received and repeatedly from the same "friends" and got into an injury. It holds for a while, and then everything repeats itself. Doesn't draw any conclusions. When I start telling him that this is not necessary, that it will not lead to good, etc., he begins to get angry. He says that he is not small, that it will be enough to "graze" him and so on. And my soul hurts, he's my son. How to be, tell me, please. This is a disaster!

Specialist's answer

Apparently, the main problem of your son is that he still has not defined life goals for himself, and does not see prospects for the future. The fact that, having crossed the thirty-year mark, he does not have his own family and lives with his mother, speaks volumes. It is quite obvious that your son has not found himself in life and is uncomfortable about it. He seeks to distract himself from oppressive feelings and gets drunk alone or in the company of dubious drinking companions. Your son has a stereotype to live one day and avoid long-term plans.

It seems to me that it is you who are guilty of this. Your son's illness forced you to pay more attention to him when he was a teenager. Now that he has become a mature man, your attention and care began to concern not only his health, but also his adult life. Why would he plan and set goals in life? After all, mom will make her own adjustments anyway. The only areas a mother cannot go to are friends and booze. I drink - it means I am an adult and independent.

In order for our recommendations to help you, and not harm you, you need to know you and your son better. Unfortunately, we do not have enough information about your family, therefore, now we can only recommend what you cannot do:

1. You can't continue to patronize. Stop worrying if he is full, if he has a clean shirt, if he has a headache, etc. Give him complete freedom. Let him do whatever he wants, with whom he wants, when he wants. But at the same time, in no case do not allow the actions of your son to interfere with your personal life or the lives of people around you. For example, if he got drunk drunk, then in the morning scold him not for the fact of drunkenness, but for his antisocial behavior while drunk. If he drinks beer late, sitting in front of the TV, then scold him not because he is an alcoholic, but because he interferes with your sleep.
2. You cannot give a formal look to the changes in your relationship with your son. There is no need to tell him, they say: "Everything, from tomorrow ..." and so on. Changes should take place without official statements, clarification of relations and, moreover, threats. This is not a punishment for the son, but simply a return to the generally accepted relationship between adult children and parents.
3. You can not resort to drug treatment addiction to alcohol. Many anti-alcohol drugs have absolute contraindications for thyroid diseases. For example, in no case should Teturam, Colme, Esperal and other disulfiram be used.

Describe the life of your son: where does he work, what are the relationships with colleagues and superiors? Did he do well in school? Does he have any hobbies? Was there a girlfriend, or was he married and divorced? What films and programs does he prefer? Does he like to read? Who else, besides you and your son, lives with you in an apartment / house? Who are your neighbors? How long has the son been addicted to alcohol? How much does he usually drink, how often? How does he feel the next morning after drinking (in detail)?

Ask a psychologist

I am 46 years old, accountant. My oldest son is 22 years old. In 2004 he graduated from high school. At school he studied at 4 and 5. Always very polite, never rude in my life. He started drinking alcohol at school. In the sixth grade, I swallowed clonidine at school. His father beat him up for it. His relationship with his father is very strained. In the eleventh grade, his father, being drunk, severely beat him for drinking.

My son wanted to study at the University of Physics with a degree in Computer Engineering, but my husband and I were against it, because themselves in a direct specialty computer scientists and considered this direction unnecessary. The son entered the university at the Faculty of Economics, specializing in "Economic Cybernetics". Studied for one triplet. I skipped classes, drank alcohol and weed. At the end of the first course (in May) he disappeared from home for a week. My husband and I viewed this as a protest. At the end of the first year, after a conversation with my son, a joint decision was made to enter the university for the physics department. The son entered. Normal study did not work out. Missing classes, drinking alcohol, leaving home. I barely finished the first course. The second cannot finish to this day. There was an "academician", then twice "expulsion-restoration". Does not live at home, drinks, cuts hands and feet with a blade. They even sewed it up. They were treated in a mental hospital (psychiatrists did not reveal any mental illness, they believe that it is a behavioral one). We were treated in a private narcological clinic for alcoholism. I always agreed to treatment myself. But on the second day after leaving the clinics, he started all over again.

In September 2009 I decided to study again. Restored. We were again at the narcologist. The narcologist, after talking with him, concluded that this was not alcoholism, but a problem of behavior. They made a false coding injection. Didn't drink, lived at home until December 23. Then, by means of threats, he forced the doctor to make a "decoding" injection and washed it down. He still drinks.

Lives in the village where my parents live, but not with them. In someone else's terrible house, in the mud, in the cold, without food and without money with a young lady of a similar lifestyle. Sometimes it appears at my parents' place - to swim, eat, sleep, steal money and disappear again. For the last three months he hasn't been communicating with us at all.

It seems to me that we did everything for him to return him to a normal life (we treated him, tried to educate him, employed him, dragged him out of the police, taught him a young lady, rented a separate apartment for them, he and his young lady lived with his grandmother), but everything was in vain. Yesterday I appeared at my grandmother's, a little alive from drunkenness. They called an ambulance. Dug out, pumped out. What to do next??? How can I protect my parents from his lifestyle?

Hello Evgenia! This is called alcohol dependence - however, here it is possible to diagnose him according to psychiatry - since there are symptoms - asical behavior, social maladjustment, plus alcohol dependence - such people are characterized by personal immaturity (and there is such a diagnosis) - but here you cannot help a person if he himself does not want to break out of this circle! Yes, you helped him, provided support and assistance - but he himself does not have the motivation to work with this problem and solve it himself. If you want to protect your parents from possible outbursts and manifestations of his dependence, then it is better to decide this issue together with your parents - it is possible different options- either for the son to buy housing in another village (remove it at a distance), or for the parents to move either to you or somewhere nearby - in any case, it is better to decide this with them, since their opinion on this issue is also important and based on this think how you can help them!

Hello Eugene!

I would like to add that not only your son, but also you and your husband are to blame for everything that is happening. At some point, you missed him and the methods of upbringing did not help him to reevaluate, but on the contrary, only exacerbated relations and generated aggression. In your letter, you and your husband appeared more like authoritarian parents: they beat the boy, and decided for him where to go. Naturally, you wanted the best ... but it has long been known that "the road to hell is paved with good intentions ..."

First of all, try to honestly answer yourself, what did you do wrong? How did you talk to him? Reproaching, threatening, issuing ultimatums or as with an adult who has his own position and his own desires?

Usually, this is the behavior of children who either lacked the elementary warmth and love in the family, or, conversely, those who were not denied anything and pampered. In your case, rather the first option ...

I understand that it hurts you for your son. I'm not sure if I can get him out of this world. But a mother's heart never loses hope, try to go to him yourself, ask him for forgiveness for your mistakes, warm him with love and warmth so that he understands that it is not necessary to leave pain and misunderstanding in drunkenness. And that you can always find a way out!

You write that "It seems to me that we did everything for him to return him to normal life (we treated him, tried to educate him, employed him, dragged him out of the police, taught him a young lady, rented a separate apartment for him, he and his young lady lived with their grandmother), but all is in vain. " BUT maybe he lacked just another. And only in this way could he receive your care and love ...

And you sent this long letter, probably, not to ask "How can I protect my parents from his lifestyle?"

Hello Evgenia! When the taste of life, the meaning of life is lost, the search for a way to escape from reality begins: alcohol, weed, etc. This is complicated by the lack of love, acceptance as it is. There is nothing to console you with. The son already has a physiological dependence on alcohol, this is how he is saved from reality. Have you done blood absorption - is it pure blood, of the whole organism? As long as the body demands alcohol, it will consume it, coding and filing will not help. The son's personality is very weak and cannot resist the body. If you still have the strength to fight for your son, try this option too. As for the parents - discuss everything with them. possible options moving. Whatever the son - you love him? Do not leave him, support him, he is not sweet anyway. V otherwise, it doesn't matter. Patience and wisdom to you.

In a family, it is always grief. If the son drinks, mothers carry their cross to the end, and do not leave their own child to the mercy of fate, even if he is many years old. The Internet is full of requests: respond, help, give effective advice... The mother tries to discuss the problem with other women who are faced with, and also does not know what to do about it. They turn to drug treatment clinics or services: good people, help save my son.

And when hope is running out, they resort to conspiracies or go to the church about the salvation of a dear person, whose vaults often hear a quiet prayer addressed to all the saints: help pull the son out of the hands of the devil, or to the Lord: teach what to do, direct the son to the righteous path ...

But it is often embarrassing to talk about problems in the family, as, incidentally, to admit your own powerlessness and the appeal: help, freezes in your throat, and again and again questions arise and moments are scrolled when time was lost and the problem could be nipped in the bud. Not knowing what can be done if the son drinks, many live with pain in their hearts, watching a loved one die.

On persuasion to start treatment, they receive a refusal or excuses, since most often alcoholics do not give an account of their addiction and believe that they can quit drinking at any time, as they wish. In addition to the fact that a drunk person is a danger to others, things may start to disappear from the house, since there is often not enough money for drinking, or the alcoholic simply does not work, which also happens quite often.

What to do in case of son's alcohol dependence?

Beginning of formation

Traditionally, intoxicating drinks are used quite often both at family celebrations and general holidays, and simply in the company of friends to relieve stress and relax after a working day. If a cautious attitude towards alcohol is replaced by an interest in the state that intoxicating drinks cause in physical and psychological terms, then the euphoria and pleasant feeling of self-confidence attracts by the ease of appearance from the first sip of light or strong alcoholic beverages.

Moreover, booze makes it impossible to control what was drunk, since the restraining centers are turned off. If the consumption of alcoholic beverages becomes daily, no matter whether you drink beer or strong alcoholic beverages, then the first stage of alcoholism begins. In the event that the son has already left his family, it is difficult to track this moment, but it is at this stage that it is easiest to influence the son, the subsequent ones will acquire more and more threatening manifestations.

It is at the beginning of the disease that you need to think about measures. To sound the alarm and shout: help, it should be at the first stage of alcoholism, then help will be most effective, since the world for an alcoholic has not yet lost its reality and the desire to get away from problems and live to the fullest without making efforts, is not yet comprehensive.

At this stage, alcohol does not plunge a person into horrors, and on the morning after yesterday, a person can maintain good spirits. But already there is a desire to increase the dose, the person feels that the previous measure is no longer enough to achieve the desired state, since the mechanisms of addiction have entered into action. Mothers should understand that the point is not to reduce the vice, but to eradicate it altogether, because if nothing is done, they will entangle their son as they grow, crushing all the good that is still in him.

Progression of alcoholism

The second stage of alcoholism is characterized by the onset of a severe hangover syndrome. A person in the morning feels disgusting and reproaches himself for what he has drunk, but does not leave yet, it just often arises as soon as the hangover is forgotten. At this stage, the mother needs to understand that if the son drinks, then his words are often at odds with the deeds, he says one thing, but he will do something completely different, since he acts under the influence of feelings guided by alcohol addiction.

The progression of alcoholism can also be accompanied by a condition that can be characterized as the need for a constant lung, and only in this a person feels comfortable and acts with a sense of self-confidence. Until a certain moment, alcohol dependence is not very pronounced and the son can easily wait for the evening when he will take another dose of alcoholic beverages, but the fact that the desire to drink is obsessive, albeit delayed, indicates the onset of pathology.

Alcoholism takes time for its development, often several years pass before alcohol dependence completely enslaves a person.

Withdrawal symptoms

- this is the beginning of alcoholism. The disgusting state of health a few hours after drinking is accompanied by a loss of aversion to alcohol, which is perceived as a kind of medicine able to improve the situation.

Often drinking man does not realize his addiction and thinks that he will quit drinking at any time when he wants, the matter is complicated by the topic that the time when the desire to drink leaves him most often never comes. At this stage, it is almost impossible to cope with alcoholism by persuasion methods, and the mother should sound the alarm and actively cry out: help, turning to specialists dealing with the problem of alcohol dependence professionally. Narcologists will offer several ways to solve the problem, in extreme cases there is a coding method that is quite cruel, but it is effective.

The height of alcoholism

When alcohol dependence is finally formed, the son begins to drink more often, and the doses are increased. The hangover syndrome takes on the most acute form, and the alcoholic seeks to remove its manifestations with new drinking and goes into binge drinking. The pathology becomes obvious to everyone who not only communicates with an alcoholic, but also simply meets me on the street, since the symptoms leave clear marks on the entire appearance of a person who abuses alcohol.

At the same time, the mother and loved ones often panic, not knowing what to do and not only to, but also just how to live with him. Wives in this situation most often abandon their husbands to protect their own children from his influence. By this time, the alcoholic may begin to realize his own deplorable state and agree to treatment, but this does not happen often. When a crisis occurs, a person can voluntarily give up alcohol, but solving it without the support of loved ones turns out to be fragile.

Even when it seems to relatives that there are no reliable ones, the mother cannot abandon her son, and not in vain, since a person who is overcome by problems is most open to persuasion.

For an alcoholic, there are only two ways. He is forced to make constant unsuccessful attempts to tie, or with the help of specialists and the support of relatives, he completely ignores even the most scanty doses of alcohol, to the point that he does not even take medicines in which there is a small amount of alcohol. The more sincerely and firmly the patient's desire is to be cured, the greater the chances of recovery.

If the son drinks ...

Husband, Son, Daughter Drinking: Priest's Advice

How to help?

Alcoholism, as a rule, has a physiological and psychological side and therefore the nature of the development of pathology is unpredictable, but the fact that the alcoholic's attitude to alcoholic beverages changes over time remains unchanged, and either the person completely intoxicated himself and dies, or he tries to fight, in which case help mothers will be invaluable. Actually, the task of the relatives of an alcoholic people comes down to reducing the time it takes to make a firm decision to quit drinking or start treatment.

Psychologists on the appeal of relatives: help pull a loved one out of the quagmire of drunkenness, they advise you to start by drawing up a psychological portrait of an alcoholic and a list of incentives that pushed the person to excessive drinking.

If the disease is at the very beginning and the mother thinks that everything will settle down by itself or the son will scream himself: help when it comes to the edge, then this is a huge delusion. Each mother, seeing that her son is dying and knowing her child like no one else, must solve the problem individually.

• Only one thing is obvious, that the problem will not be solved by scandals and hysterics, it should be remembered that it is important to find peace of mind and begin to solve the problem when the will suppresses the panic, and making comments and suggestions is only a mild form. Talk to your son, insist on your own.
• In addition, it will be necessary to find out what worries the son. There are usually psychological reasons for alcohol dependence. It is important to convince the alcoholic that alcohol does not solve his problems, but only gives courage to do the next stupid things that aggravate an already critical state. Alcohol makes the real world more bearable for his psyche, but he loses the opportunity to take effective action to save himself.
• So that a person does not break into a binge, it is necessary to be qualified. There are both.
• Show more restraint, do not take on your son's problems, this will only worsen the situation. Do not pay off his debts, do not wash things that he did during drunkenness. Let him know that you will not put up with his drunkenness. At the decisive moment, do what needs to be done in the interests of your son, no matter how cruel the measures taken may seem to you. Tell your son that you are punishing him not because he got drunk, but so that this does not happen again in the future.
• Let him know that you have an iron will and firmness of character, but do not create unbearable conditions for him at home when he is sober.
• If you cannot cope with your son, do not hide his drunkenness. Seek help from family and specialists. Create an alliance of people who are willing to help you in trouble.