Parent's Saturday- this is the day of remembrance of the dead in Russian Orthodoxy, when an ecumenical memorial service for dead Christians is held, prayers for the repose of the deceased are read at liturgies, and relatives commemorate their loved ones with kind words and prayers and visit their graves in cemeteries.

What is Parent's Saturday?

On Parents' Saturday, believers pray for all dead Christians, but first of all they commemorate their parents and loved ones. From this comes the name "parental" - the first thing to do is always pray for their deceased parents.

What do they do on Parent's Saturday?

On Parents' Saturday, believers visit a church or temple, participate in a memorial liturgy, be sure to submit notes of repose, light a candle for their deceased relatives, and can order a memorial service for the deceased. Many Orthodox Christians visit cemeteries on this day, where their loved ones rest, put in order the grave and tombstone, put flowers, and if necessary change the cross or fence.

Many bring treats to the graves of their deceased loved ones. From the point of view of the Orthodox faith, this is nothing more than a pagan prejudice. Instead, it is better to bring Cahors (wine) to the temple for the memorial liturgy and lenten foods to pass them on to the poor.

Also on Parents' Saturday funeral service is held. On such a day, it is advisable to gather with the whole family and remember with a kind word your deceased loved ones. The Church does not approve of the transformation of the commemoration into a stormy libation, since the essence of the collective meal on this day is to commemorate those who are no longer with us, and not to surrender to fun and carnal joys.

There is also a tradition to bring wine to the church for the liturgy and lenten treats, which will be passed on to low-income parishioners.

7 Parental Saturdays in the Orthodox calendar

Seven parental Saturdays are celebrated throughout the year, three of which fall on Great post... In the Orthodox tradition, there are also special days of remembrance, specially dedicated to prayers for the soldiers who died for the Orthodox faith.

Ecumenical and Private Parental Saturdays

Parental Saturdays are ecumenical (Meat and Trinity) and private. All dead Christians are commemorated during the Ecumenical Sabbath. Private parental Saturdays are memorial days that exist only on the calendar of the Russian Orthodox Church.

Parental Saturday Calendar

In the Russian Orthodox tradition, it is customary to celebrate seven parental Saturdays during the year:

• Meat (Ecumenical) parental Saturday;
• Three Parental Saturdays of Great Lent;
• Radonitsa;
• Trinity Parental Saturday;
• Dimitrievskaya Parental Saturday.

Floating dates

As a rule, Parental Saturdays do not have a clearly fixed date and change from year to year. This is due to the fact that the date of the commemoration day is set relative to the day of the week and other holy holidays. The date of Parental Saturday can always be checked according to the church calendar.

Parent Saturday Calendar 2019-2020-2021

Name of Parent Saturday

Meat Saturday

Meatless Parental Saturday is the first parental day of the year, one of the two Universal Parental Saturdays. Held on the Saturday before Last Judgment Week and a week before Lent. The name "Meat" comes from the second naming of Sunday a week before Lent - Meat.

Among the days of remembrance Meat Saturday is of particular importance, since this is the first day of the year when the general funeral liturgy is held. During the days of Great Lent, the full liturgy is not served, therefore, the commemoration of the departed is possible only on special days. Many Orthodox Christians are trying to send a note with the name of the deceased to the church the day before Meat Parental Saturday, because the next such opportunity will not appear soon.

Parental Saturdays during Lent

Lent lasts 48 days and prepares the believer for Easter. It was installed in memory of Christ's exploits in the desert for forty days. During most of Great Lent, there are no funeral liturgies. So that the dead Orthodox would not be left without remembrance, three parental Saturdays were allocated in the second, third and fourth weeks (week) of Great Lent.

Radonitsa

Radonitsa is the first day of the universal commemoration of the departed after Great Lent and Bright Week (the first week after Easter). It is celebrated on the Tuesday of St. Thomas' Week, so it cannot be fully called parental Saturday. However, it has a special meaning, since it is the first weekday after one and a half months, when it is possible to hold the Liturgy after the dead.

In the Orthodox tradition, the church celebration of Easter lasts 40 days. Therefore, Radonitsa should be viewed not just as a day of remembrance, but as an opportunity to share the joy of Easter with all deceased loved ones. Despite the widespread celebration of Radonitsa, the church charter does not provide for the funeral liturgy on Tuesday of Fomin's week. Some liturgists of the Russian Orthodox Church criticize Radonitsa on the grounds that she leads to a confusion between the festive and solemn and the funeral.

Trinity Saturday

For Orthodox Christians, Trinity Saturday is the second of the two main days of commemoration of the departed - the Ecumenical Parental Saturday. On this day, it is customary to offer prayers not only for their relatives and friends, but also for all dead Christians.

Trinity Saturday precedes the Day of the Holy Trinity (also known as Pentecost). According to the Gospel, on this day the Holy Spirit descended on the apostles, thereby marking the creation of the universal apostolic Church. The descent of the Holy Spirit made possible the salvation of the human soul, and therefore on the Saturday before the Day of the Holy Trinity it is important to pray not only for the living, but also for the departed Christians.

Dimitrievskaya parental Saturday

Dimitrievskaya Parental Saturday is the last of the Parental Saturdays of the year. It is timed to commemorate the holy Great Martyr Demetrius of Thessaloniki. On this day, all the dead are commemorated, but first of all the soldiers who died for the Orthodox faith. It is believed that the beginning of the Dimitrievskaya Saturday was laid by Prince Dmitry Donskoy, when he visited the Trinity-Sergius monastery after the victory in the Battle of Kulikovo.

Days of Remembrance of Orthodox Warriors

In addition to Dimitrievskaya Saturday, there are two more days when the liturgy for all the dead Orthodox soldiers is served in the churches of the Russian Orthodox Church. These days do not belong to Parental Saturdays, but they are also important days of remembrance. The Days of Remembrance of Orthodox Warriors, in contrast to Parental Saturdays, have a clearly established date.

September 11 is known as the Day of Remembrance of the Orthodox soldiers who died for the Faith, Tsar and Fatherland. It was established to hold a memorial service on this date during the war between Russia and the Ottoman Empire by the decree of Empress Catherine the Great. The war, which lasted from 1768 to 1774, claimed the lives of many Russian Orthodox soldiers. In order to have a day of honoring the memory of not only those who died in the Russian-Turkish war, but also all Orthodox soldiers who have ever fought with enemies, the Empress established a special memorable day. In our time, this memorial service is held irregularly.

May 9 is the day of remembrance for all those who died during the Great Patriotic War. The Great Patriotic War claimed the lives of many of our compatriots, including Orthodox Christians. On Victory Day, the church holds a service in memory of the victims of the war and prays for the repose of all those killed.

Prayer for the dead on Parent's Saturday

On Parental Saturday, it is important for an Orthodox Christian not only to visit the graves and hold a commemoration. First of all, he must visit the temple and pray for the repose of his family and friends, especially his parents and other ancestors. If you fail to visit the temple, you can offer prayer at home in accordance with the prayer book. Exists various prayers, suitable for reading on parental Saturday, here is one of them: a prayer for a deceased Christian, a prayer of a widow and a widower, a prayer of children for deceased parents.

The most basic and simple prayer for deceased relatives, which any Orthodox Christian can read, sounds like this:

"Rest, O Lord, the souls of the departed Thy servant: my parents, relatives, benefactors (their names) and all Orthodox Christians, and forgive them all sins, voluntary and involuntary, and grant them the Kingdom of Heaven."

If a Christian wants to pray for a particular deceased, then he can read the following prayer:

“Remember, O Lord our God, in the faith and hope of the belly of your eternal reposed servant, our brother (name), as Good and Man-lover, forgive sins and consume untruths, weaken, forgive and forgive all his free and involuntary sins, save him from eternal torment and the fire of hell, and grant him the sacrament and pleasure of Thy eternal good, prepared for those who love Thee: if you sin, but do not depart from You, and it is unquestionable in the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, God in the Trinity is glorified, faith, and the One in The Trinity and Trinity in Unity are Orthodox even to the last gasp of confession. Even so, be merciful to that, and faith even in Thee instead of deeds of imputation, and with Thy saints, as if Generous, rest: there is no man, who will live and not sin. But Thou art One besides all sin, and Thy truth is truth forever, and Thou art the One God of mercies and generosity, and love for mankind, and we glorify Thee, the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, now and ever and forever and ever. Amen."

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In Christianity, in addition to church holidays and fasts, there is also such a concept as a parent's day. 2018 will not be an exception and all believers will remember the souls of deceased parents and close relatives.

What are the parent days

The days when the closest relatives are remembered are called parental days in Christianity. They usually take place on Saturdays. V church calendar there are eight such memorial days throughout the year. Every year they take place in different days, since they are tied to the main Christian holiday of Easter. Saturdays are not in vain chosen as memorials. These are the quietest and least busy days of the week. So, in 2018, the Orthodox will have the following parenting days:

Why are the days of commemoration of loved ones called parental days?

There are several interpretations of this fact:

• the first explanation of this name suggests itself. After all, remembering about deceased relatives, we first of all think about the people closest to us - about our parents;
• another version is that after the deceased person is buried, he, according to the Christians, goes to his closest people, that is, his parents.

The main memorial day

The main memorial day for the Orthodox is Radonitsa. In different regions of Russia, it is celebrated in different time... According to church canons, the main parental memorial day falls on the ninth day after Easter, namely on Tuesday. In 2018 it will be 04/17/18. It should be noted that this day is called differently in different regions Russia. Somewhere it is called Graves, somewhere Easter of the dead, and somewhere Radovnitsa. However, the essence of this holiday is unchanged. This is a special day for the commemoration of deceased parents and loved ones. It is believed that the name "Radonitsa" came from the verb "to rejoice", since on this day we not only remember the deceased loved ones, but also congratulate them on Easter, believing that the Kingdom of Heaven will come and all the dead will be resurrected.

The main feature of this day is the preparation of a special treat, which is intended both for the people living now and for the dead. On Radonitsa, eggs are again painted and cooked with kutya. It should be noted that most of the eggs are colored red. In some regions of Russia, the tradition of "christening with the dead" has been preserved. For this, red eggs are buried in the ground. In some villages, it is customary to place them in the ground directly at the cemetery, in others, it is enough to dig them in the field or behind the house where the deceased lived. In such an area, as a rule, it is believed that "the dead move underground."

Another constant dish on Radonitsa is kutia. This is what I call wheat or rice porridge mixed with raisins, nuts, poppy seeds and dried fruits. Before you start your meal at the memorial table, you must definitely taste kutya.

Some Slavic peoples have also kept the tradition of baking pancakes on this day. Some housewives bake thin translucent treats, others prefer lush treats. Regardless of this, it is believed that pancakes are completely cooked according to the rite, if they are well oiled. It is the amount of oil that testifies to how relatives remember the deceased. The first pancakes are traditionally placed in a bundle or basket and carried to the cemetery.

Until now, all relatives come to the graves of the deceased in Radonitsa, so that they all remember their loved ones and taste pancakes. In the old days, this was the end of the meal at the cemetery. People went home and for festive table continued to remember the dead.

If the funeral at home was held with the use of alcohol, it was forbidden to clink glasses. The use of knives and forks was also unacceptable. It was forbidden to throw out the remains from the memorial table. It was customary to feed the "birds of heaven" with them.

It is worth noting that during the Soviet era, some traditions have undergone changes. If, before the October Revolution of 1917, Radonitsa was considered a holiday, and everyone could visit the cemetery without any problems, then in the Soviet period this became problematic. Despite this, people still came to their deceased relatives, but not on Tuesday, but on Sunday.

Another change was that lavish meals with alcohol began to be arranged next to the graves. And after them, eggs, glasses of vodka, bread and other food were left at the burial sites. The Church considers this unacceptable. Remembering loved ones, it is necessary to pray for their souls and hope that resurrection awaits all of us.

The ministers of the church believe that the cakes, eggs, etc., which are left after the commemoration, are a sign of pagan traditions - “to regale the deceased”. If you consider yourself an Orthodox person, then you should not do this. Watering the graves with alcohol is also unacceptable.

The most correct behavior at the grave of the deceased in Radonitsa is the following order of things:

• before the holiday, it is necessary to remove the grave and bring it into proper form;
• when visiting a burial place, you should light a candle and read a prayer;
• after that, together with other relatives, you need to remember the deceased in a better light;
• in the end, you can taste pancakes or Easter cake and congratulate the dead on the Bright Resurrection.

Parents' Saturdays have great value in the life of Orthodox believers. These days are intended for the commemoration of the departed and the cleansing of the soul.

In the Orthodox calendar for 2018 you will find all the main holidays celebrated by the Russian Orthodox Church. Parental Saturdays, marked in it, are a way to honor the memory of the forefathers who gave us life, as well as all those who died for the Orthodox faith.

Not every Parental Saturday falls on the sixth day of the week. Those that “fall” exactly on the Sabbath days are usually called Ecumenical.

Ecumenical Parental Saturdays in 2018

Opens the list Meat Saturday to be celebrated 10 february... On this day, all relatives who have completed their earthly journey are commemorated. For the living, this holiday is a reminder of the mortal life, which must be spent cultivating an immortal soul in purity and good intentions.

Trinity Parent Saturday will take place before the church holiday of the Holy Trinity, and its date - 26 of May... On the fiftieth day after the Resurrection of the Lord, all the deceased, without exception, are commemorated, including those who have passed away voluntarily or are missing.

Parental Saturdays of Great Lent

These Saturdays are distinguished by the fact that after the festive church liturgy, believers remain for a panikhida, in which they mention their deceased relatives. Priests are given notes in advance with the names of those for whose souls they want to pray.

First Saturday will take place during the second week of Great Lent, and its date - March, 3rd.

Second Saturday featured on the church calendar 2018 10th of March, and her time is the third week of fasting.

Third Saturday will take place March 17... It is final and takes place during the fourth week of fasting.

Private parenting days in 2018

Such days exist only in the practice of the Russian Church, and at this time you have the opportunity to pray for the souls of people who have found peace in Heaven.

May 9 at the solemn liturgy, the Russian people bow their heads in respect to the fallen soldiers who gave their lives during the Great Patriotic War. Tears of joy are interspersed with universal grief for the millions of the fallen, who displayed exceptional valor and courage.

17 april Radonitsa is celebrated, which follows exactly the ninth day after Easter.

11 September serve as a requiem for Orthodox soldiers who laid down their heads during the battle for Faith, Tsar and Fatherland.

the 3rd of November comes Dimitrievskaya parental Saturday... It refers us to the exploits of Dmitry Thessaloniki, who died the death of the great martyr.

These Orthodox holidays show us the meaning of human life. During church services everyone understands that worldly life is short and can end at any moment, and the immortal soul will continue to exist and will be responsible for all our deeds.

Pray Higher Forces so that they help you avoid hardships and problems along the way. Take time every day for spiritual development, which not only cleanses the soul, but also attracts good things to life. We wish you health and happiness, and do not forget to press the buttons and

04.01.2018 01:07

Orthodox Christians know a lot about the miraculous properties of prayers. Remembering the deceased, they help his soul to be cleansed ...

During parenting days, the Orthodox world remembers departed people, close relatives (that's why the name is "parental"), as well as those who fell on the battlefield. Parental Saturdays in 2018 (Orthodox calendar) also include dates that honor the martyrs of the faith. There are no exact dates for the days of remembrance of the departed, because they all depend on the time when Easter takes place in each year. On Saturday we gain peace of mind from the work week, and we can remember our close ones, distant relatives, and everyone who was dear to us.

Orthodox calendar of parental Saturdays in 2018 for the commemoration of the departed.

Why are memorial Saturdays called "parental"?

There are two explanations:

• The first is by the meaning of the name. At this time, they remember our parents, older relatives who are not with us.
• The second - according to Christian beliefs, after death a person goes to his ancestors, i.e. parents (according to folk legends).

What is the main memorial day?

The main memorial day is the 9th day after Easter. At this time, in a number of Orthodox countries, the dead are remembered, and traditional ceremonies are also held that have a connection with these events. They are mostly Russians. memorial days, since the dates of commemoration according to the Orthodox calendar also contain the names of Russian saints, victorious warriors.

In many cities and regions of Russia, the main memorial Saturday bears its name, namely:

• Radovnitsa;
• Easter of the dead;
• Graves.

In general, in every place in Russia Radonitsa can be called differently - but the essence of this day remains the same, the veneration and memory of those who have gone to the Kingdom of Heaven.

Orthodox parental Saturdays are dedicated to the commemoration of the dead.

Radonitsa - Great parental Saturday

Why is Radonitsa called that way? The main idea is to congratulate the departed on Easter, which, according to beliefs, also applies to them. One day all the dead will be resurrected, and the Kingdom of Christ will come, and everyone will rejoice - this is how the church officially explains the meaning of the name "Radonitsa" or "Radunitsa".

A number of rituals or traditions are associated with the main memorial day. So, it is customary to "christen" with the dead easter eggs- after all, it is believed that the deceased also hear and understand the holiday, want to celebrate it. The eggs turn red. In a number of cities and villages of Russia, it is customary to leave Easter treats - eggs, as well as kutya in the cemetery, or bury them near the house where the deceased once lived.

What to cook

We mentioned that kutya is eaten on Radonitsa - this is a cereal dish, which is complemented by various dried fruits, raisins, nuts or poppy seeds, and consists of wheat and rice groats. The first step is to start exactly this treat, if we are talking about a memorial meal.

• In other regions of Russia, it is customary to bake pancakes, including on Radonitsa - to treat the aforementioned relatives with a hearty dish;
• It is not so important whether the pancakes are made of thin dough, or whether they are richly decorated and saturated with filling - it is only important how well they are buttery;
• The dead are believed to be remembered for the amount of butter on their pancakes. Such a pancake should be put in a basket and taken to the cemetery.
• Treats for the departed are served with special respect.

Wake on Saturdays is also held at home. If in the course of Radonitsa people drink alcohol, then this is done without clinking glasses - since ancient times it is considered at least bad luck to do so. The use of knives and forks is not allowed. Everything that has not been eaten is by no means removed, not thrown away - because the leftovers of food can be fed to the birds, which can symbolize gratitude, respect, universal connection with the world.

How to remember the dead correctly

• Check a relative's grave, repair if necessary, or paint, plant flowers;
• When a person comes to the grave, you need to light a candle and read the words of the prayer;
• Relatives are remembered from the best side, in a respectful tone;
• At the end of the holiday, you need to treat yourself to a traditional Easter treat and congratulate all the dear departed on Easter.

Of course, in addition to small rituals and traditions, visiting the departed becomes the semantic center of Radonitsa. Relatives gather together, or visit the graves of the deceased one by one (depending on the connections that were maintained by the living and the deceased). So, the wife can visit her husband separately, or go to the grave with the whole family. The main thing is to show due attention and respect to the person you are remembering.

Radonitsa is a bright day, so you need to make sure that at the end of the commemoration everyone will have a good mood.

Conclusion

The story of parental Saturdays as a holiday is not the easiest one. Before Soviet times (namely, before the revolution of 1917), it was considered absolutely normal to visit the cemetery as a tribute to the memory of the deceased. During the Soviet period, of course, the attitude to commemoration dates changed radically. However, even then, citizens managed to remember the deceased, observing the main Orthodox traditions, and just to once again remember their parents and just dear people who were not with them.

"Today is parental!" is a phrase that we hear several times a year. Everyone is alive with God, and the memory and prayer for our departed relatives and friends is an important part of the Christian faith. We will tell you about what parental Saturdays are, about church and folk traditions of days of special commemoration of the dead, about how to pray for the dead and whether it is necessary to go to the cemetery on parental Saturdays.

What is parental Saturday

Parental Saturdays (and there are several of them in the church calendar) are days of special commemoration of the departed. These days in Orthodox churches there is a special commemoration of dead Orthodox Christians. In addition, by tradition, believers visit the graves in cemeteries.

The name "parental" most likely comes from the tradition of calling the deceased "parents", that is, those who have passed on to their fathers. Another version - “parental” Saturdays began to be called, because Christians prayerfully commemorated, first of all, their deceased parents.

Among other parental Saturdays (and there are seven of them in a year), Ecumenical Saturdays are distinguished, on which Orthodox Church prayerfully commemorates all baptized Christians in general. There are two such Saturdays: Meat (a week before Lent) and Trinity (on the eve of Pentecost). The rest of the Saturday parents are not universal and are set aside specifically for private commemoration of people dear to our hearts.

How many parental Saturdays in the year

The calendar of the Russian Orthodox Church has seven days of special commemoration of the departed. All except one (May 9 - Commemoration of the departed soldiers) have a rolling date.

Meat Saturday (Ecumenical Parent Saturday)

Saturday of the 2nd week of Great Lent

Saturday of the 3rd week of Great Lent

Saturday of the 4th week of Great Lent

Radonitsa

Saturday Trinity

Saturday Dimitrievskaya

Parental Saturdays in 2019

4th week of Great Lent - canceled in 2019, since it falls on April 6 - the eve of the Annunciation.

What are Ecumenical Parenting Saturdays

Among other parental Saturdays (and there are seven of them in a year), Ecumenical Saturdays are distinguished, on which the Orthodox Church prayerfully commemorates all baptized Christians in general. There are two such Saturdays: Meat (a week before Lent) and Trinity (on the eve of Pentecost). On these two days, special services are performed - ecumenical memorial services.

What's inSelenian memorial services

On parental Saturdays, the Orthodox Church celebrates universal or parental requiems. The word "panikhida" Christians call the funeral service, in which believers pray for the repose of the dead, ask the Lord for mercy and forgiveness of sins for them.

What is a memorial service

Dirge translated from Greek means " all-night vigil ". This a funeral service at which believers pray for the repose of the dead, ask the Lord for mercy and forgiveness of sins for them.

Ecumenical (meat-eating) parental Saturday

Meat Saturday (Universal Parental Saturday) is Saturday one week before the start of Lent. It is called Meat Plant because it falls on the Meat Week (the week before Shrovetide). It is also called the Small Carnival.

On this day, Orthodox Christians commemorate all the baptized departed, the ecumenical panikhida is served in churches - "Commemoration performed by all of the departed Orthodox Christians from time to time, our father and our brethren."

Trinity parental Saturday

Trinity is the second ecumenical parental Saturday (after Meat-Passing), on which the Orthodox Church prayerfully commemorates all baptized Christians in general. It falls on the Saturday preceding the feast of Trinity, or Pentecost. On this day, believers come to churches for a special ecumenical memorial service - "Commemoration of all of the departed Orthodox Christians from the age, our father and our brethren."

Parental Saturdays of the 2nd, 3rd and 4th weeks of Great Lent

During the weekdays of Great Lent, therefore, the main liturgical commemoration of the departed is also performed less often. In order not to deprive the dead of prayer representation for them, the Church established three special days for prayer for them during Great Lent. These are Saturdays of the 2nd, 3rd and 4th weeks of fasting. The fact of the opportunity to be personally at the Liturgy and pray for the departed is important here. That is, it is not easy to submit a note of repose or order a magpie so that the Liturgies are commemorated in the church for forty days or forty. Or not ask someone to pray for their loved ones. But there is an opportunity to personally take part in prayer.

Radonitsa

Radonitsa, or Radunitsa, is one of the days of special commemoration of the departed, which falls on Tuesday after Fomin's week (the second week after Easter). On Fomino Sunday, Christians remember how after the resurrected Jesus Christ descended into hell and conquered death, and Radonitsa, who is directly connected with this day, also tells us about the victory over death.

According to tradition, the Orthodox go to Radonitsa to the cemetery, and there, at the graves of their relatives and friends, they glorify the Risen Christ. Radonitsa, in fact, is called so precisely by the word "joy", the joyful news of the Resurrection of Christ

Commemoration of the Departed Warriors - May 9

Commemoration of the departed warriors is the only day of special commemoration of the departed in the year, which has a fixed date. This is May 9, the day of victory in the Great Patriotic War... On this day, after the Liturgy, a panikhida is served in churches for the soldiers who gave their lives for the Motherland.

Dmitrievskaya parental Saturday

Demetrius parental Saturday - the Saturday before the day of remembrance of the holy Great Martyr Demetrius of Thessaloniki, which is celebrated on November 8 in a new style. If the day of remembrance of the saint also falls on Saturday, the previous one is still considered parental. In 2017, the Dmitrievskaya parental Saturday was postponed to October 28 (due to the coincidence with the holiday of the Kazan icon Mother of God November 4).

Dimitriev's parental Saturday became a day of special commemoration of the dead after the victory of Russian soldiers in the Battle of Kulikovo in 1380. At first, on this day, those who died on the Kulikovo field were commemorated, then, over the centuries, the tradition changed. In the Novgorod chronicle of the 15th century, we read about Dimitriev's parental Saturday as a day of remembrance for all the dead.

Funeral commemoration on parental Saturday

On the eve of parental Saturday, that is, on Friday evening, the great funeral service is served in Orthodox charmas, which is also called the Greek word "parastas". On Saturday morning itself, the funeral Divine Liturgy is served, followed by a general requiem.

For parastas or for the funeral Divine Liturgy, you can submit notes of the repose with the names of the dead who are close to your heart. And on this day, according to the old church tradition, parishioners bring food to the church - "for the canon" (or "on the eve"). These are lean products, wine (Cahors) for the celebration of the liturgy.

Why bring food "on the eve"?

Answers n

Bringing podukty to the temple - "on the eve" - ​​is an ancient practice of performing common funerals, that is, commemoration of the departed. According to tradition, the parishioners of the temple gathered a larger common table in order to all together remember the deceased people close to their hearts. Now the food, which the believers bring and put on a special table, are then used for the needs of the parish and to help the needy people, whom the parish takes care of.

It seems to me that this is a good custom - to help those in need or to lighten the burden of people who serve in the church (of course, these are not only priests, but also candle-holders and all those who help free of charge, by the will of the heart in the House of God). By bringing food to the temple, we serve our neighbors and commemorate our departed.

Prayer for the departed

Rest, Lord, the souls of the departed Thy servant: my parents, relatives, benefactors (their names) and all Orthodox Christians, and forgive them all sins, voluntary and involuntary, and grant them the Kingdom of Heaven.

It is more convenient to read the names from the memorial - a small booklet where the names of living and deceased relatives are recorded. There is a pious custom of keeping family commemorations, reading which, both in home prayer and during church services, Orthodox people commemorate many generations of their departed ancestors by name.

Prayer for the departed Christian

Remember, O Lord our God, in the faith and hope of the life of your eternal reposed servant, our brother (name), and like the Good and Humanitarian, forgiving sins, and consuming unrighteousness, weaken, forgive and forgive all his free and involuntary sins, deliver him eternal torment and fire of hell, and grant him the sacrament and pleasure of Thy eternal good, prepared for those who love Thee: if you sin, but do not depart from You, and doubtlessly in the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, God in the Trinity is glorified, faith, and One in the Trinity and the Trinity in Unity, Orthodox even to the last gasp of confession. Even so, be merciful to that, and faith, even in Thee instead of deeds, and with Thy saints, as Generous, rest: there is no man, who will live and not sin. But Thou art One besides all sin, and Thy righteousness, the truth forever, and Thou art the One God of mercies and generosity, and love for mankind, and we give You glory to the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, now and ever, and forever and ever. Amen

Widower's Prayer

Christ Jesus, Lord and Almighty! In contrition and tenderness of my heart, I pray to You: rest, O Lord, the soul of Your deceased servant (name), in Your Heavenly Kingdom. Master Almighty! You have blessed the conjugal union of a husband and wife, always declaring: it is not good for a single person to be, let us make him an assistant for him. Thou art sanctified this union in the image of the spiritual union of Christ with the Church. I believe, O Lord, and I confess that you blessed me to combine and in this holy union with one of Your servants. By your good and wise will, please, take away from me this servant of yours, you have already given me, as a helper and companion of my life. I bow before this by Your will, and I pray to You with all my heart, accept my prayer for Your servant (name), and forgive her if you sin in word, deed, thought, knowledge and ignorance; if you love the earthly more than the heavenly; Even more about the clothing and adornment of your body, than about the enlightenment of the garment of your soul; or even if he is negligent about his children; if you grieve anyone with word or deed; If you pound in your heart against your neighbor, or condemn someone or other that you have done evil from such.
Forgive her for all this, as a kind and benevolent man: as if a person is not, whoever will live and will not sin. Do not enter into judgment with Thy servant, as Thy creation, do not condemn her for eternal torment by her sin, but spare and have mercy according to Thy great mercy. I pray and ask You, Lord, grant me strength throughout the days of my life without ceasing to pray for Your deceased servant, and even until the death of my belly, ask her from You, the Judge of the whole world, for the abandonment of her sins. Yes, as you, God, put on her head a crown of an honest stone, crowning her here on earth; so crown Thy eternal glory in Thy Heavenly Kingdom, with all the saints who rejoice there, and together with them forever sing Thy all-holy name with the Father and the Holy Spirit. Amen.

Widow's Prayer

Christ Jesus, Lord and Almighty! You are crying consolation, orphans and widows of intercession. You advertise: call on Me in the day of your sorrow, and I will destroy you. In the days of my sorrow I run to You and I pray to You: do not turn your face away from me and hear my prayer, brought to You with tears. Thou, Lord, the Lord of all, was pleased to combine me with one of Thy servants, in his hedgehog we are one body and one spirit; You gave me this slave, like a roommate and protector. By your good and wise will, please, take away your servant from me and leave me alone. I bow before this by Thy will and I run to You in the days of my sorrow: soothe my sorrow about separation from Thy servant, my friend. If you have taken him away from me, do not take away from me your mercy. As if once upon a time you accepted two mites as a widow, so accept this prayer of mine. Remember, O Lord, the soul of Your deceased servant (name), forgive him all his sins, voluntary and involuntary, if by word, if by deed, if by knowledge and ignorance, do not destroy him with his iniquities and do not betray him to eternal torment, but by your great mercy. and according to the multitude of Thy compassions, weaken and forgive all his sins and bring him to Thy saints, where there is no sickness, no sorrow, no sighing, but endless life. I pray and ask Thee, Lord, grant me throughout all the days of my life not to cease to pray for Thy slave who has departed, and even before my departure I ask Thee, Judge of the whole world, for the abandonment of all his sins and his resettlement into Heavenly abodes, which Thou hast prepared for those who love Ty. As if you have sinned, but do not depart from You, and it is beyond doubt that the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit are Orthodox even before their last breath of confession; by the same his faith, even in Thee, instead of deeds to him: as if there is a man, whoever lives and will not sin, You are one but sin, and Your truth is truth forever. I believe, Lord, and I confess that you hear my prayer and do not turn your face away from me. Seeing the widow, I cry wickedly, having mercy, I was carrying her son for burial, you resurrected: so having compassion, calm down my grief. For you have opened the doors of Your mercy to Your servant Theophilus, who has departed to You, and you have forgiven him for his sins through the prayers of Your Holy Church, listening to the prayers and alms of his wife: sit and I pray to You, accept my prayer for your servant. eternal life. For Thou art our hope. Thou art God, the hedgehog to be merciful and save, and we glorify Thee with the Father and the Holy Spirit. Amen.

Prayer of parents for dead children

Lord Jesus Christ, our God, Master of life and death, Comforter of the mourning! With a contrite and tender heart, I run to You and pray to Ty: remember. Lord, in Thy Kingdom, Thy deceased servant (thy servant), my child (name), and make him (her) an eternal memory. You, Lord of life and death, have given me this child. Your good and wise will please and take it from me. Blessed be Thy name, Lord. I pray to Thee, Judge of heaven and earth, with Thy endless love for us, sinners, forgive my deceased child for all his sins, voluntary and involuntary, even in word, even in deed, also in knowledge and ignorance. Forgive me, Merciful, and our parental sins, so that they do not abide on our children: we have, as if we sinned many times before You, did not observe many, did not create, as if you commanded us. Even if our deceased child, ours or ours for the sake of guilt, is in this life, working for the world and for his flesh, and not more for Thee, Lord and his God: if you love the delights of this world, and not even more Your Word and Your commandments, if you surrendered with the sweetness of everyday life, and not more than regret for his sins, and in intemperance, vigilance, fasting and prayer before oblivion - I pray to You diligently, forgive, blessed Father, my child all such sins of his, forgive and weaken, if you do something else evil in this life ... Christ Jesus! Thou art raised the daughter of Jairus by faith and the prayer of her father. Thou art healed the daughter of a Canaanite wife by faith and the request of her mother: hear your mother and my prayer, do not despise my prayers for my child. Forgive, Lord, forgive all his sins and, having forgiven and purifying his soul, take out eternal torment and instill with all Your saints, who have pleased You from time immemorial, where there is no sickness, no sorrow, no sighing, but endless life: as if there is no man, like He will live and will not sin, but You are the only one besides all sin: yes, whenever you judge the world, my child will hear Your glorified voice: come, blessed of My Father, and inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from the folding of the world. For you are the Father of mercies and bounties. Thou art our life and our resurrection, and we glorify Thee with the Father and the Holy Spirit, now and ever and forever and ever. Amen.

Prayer of Children for Deceased Parents

Lord Jesus Christ our God! You are the guardian of the orphans, the grieving refuge and the crying comforter. I come running to you, sir, sighing and crying, and I pray to You: hear my prayer and do not turn your face away from the sighs of my heart and from the tears of my eyes. I pray to You, merciful Lord, satisfy my grief about separation from my parent who gave birth and raised (gave birth and raised) me (my matter), (name) (or: with my parents who gave birth and raised me, their names) -, but his soul (or: her, or: them), as if she departed (or: who departed) to You with true faith in You and with firm hope in Your philanthropy and mercy, accept into Your Kingdom of Heaven. I bow before Your holy will, they will also take away (or: taken away, or: taken away) from me, and I ask You, do not take away from him (or: from her, or: from them) Your mercy and mercy. Vem, Lord, as if You are the Judge of this world, punish the sins and wickedness of fathers in children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren, even up to the third and fourth kind: but also favor the fathers for the prayers and virtues of their children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. With contrition and tenderness of my heart, I pray to Thee, merciful Judge, do not punish the deceased unforgettable (deceased unforgettable) with eternal punishment for me Thy servant (Thy servant), my parent (my mother) (name), but release him (her) all his transgressions ( her) voluntary and involuntary, in word and deed, knowledge and ignorance, created by him (her) in his (her) life here on earth, and by Thy mercy and love for mankind, prayers for the sake of the Most Pure Theotokos and all saints, have mercy on him (s) and eternal Deliver the torment. You, merciful Father of fathers and children! Grant me, all the days of my life, until my last breath, not to cease to remember my deceased parent (my deceased mother) in my prayers, and beg Thee, the righteous Judge, and give him (s) in a brighter place, in a cool place. and in a place of peace, with all the saints, all sickness, sorrow and sighing are by no means fled. Merciful Lord! Accept this day for Thy servant (Thy) (name) this warm prayer and give him (her) in Thy reward for the labors and care of my upbringing in faith and Christian piety, as if he taught (taught) me first of all to lead Thee, his Lord, to to pray to Thee with reverence, the One to trust in Thee in troubles, sorrows and diseases and keep Thy commandments; for his (her) welfare for my spiritual prosperity, for the warmth that he (she) brings for me before You and for all the gifts they (her) asked me from You, give him (her) Your mercy. With your heavenly blessings and joys in your eternal Kingdom. Thou art the God of mercies and bounty and love for mankind, Thou art the peace and joy of Thy faithful servants, and We glorify Thee with the Father and the Holy Spirit, both now and ever and forever and ever. Amen

Do I need to go to the cemetery on parental Saturday?

Answers n rotopriest Igor FOMIN, rector of the Church of the Holy Blessed Prince Alexander Nevsky at MGIMO:

The main thing is not to go to the cemetery. instead of services in the temple. For our deceased relatives and friends, our prayer is much more important than visiting the grave. So try to be imbued with worship, listen to the chants in the temple, turn your heart to the Lord.

Folk traditions of parenting Saturdays

In Russia folk traditions commemoration of dead people was somewhat different from the church. Ordinary people went to the graves of relatives before big holidays - on the eve of Maslenitsa, Trinity (Pentecost), Intercession Holy Mother of God and the day of memory of the holy great martyr Demetrius of Thessaloniki.

Most of all, the people revered the Dimmitrievskaya parental Saturday. In 1903, Emperor Nicholas II even issued a decree on the performance of a special memorial service for the soldiers who fell for the Fatherland - "For the faith, the Tsar and the Fatherland, who laid their belly on the battlefield."

In Ukraine and Belarus, the days of special commemoration of the dead were called "Grandfathers". There were up to six such “grandfathers” a year. The people superstitiously believed that on these days all deceased relatives would invisibly join the family memorial meal.

Radonitsa was called "Joyful grandfathers", the people loved this day very much, because they went to the graves of their loved ones with the happy news of the Resurrection of Christ. There were also Pokrovsky, Nikolsky Ded and others.

Metropolitan Anthony of Sourozh. Sermon on the Commemoration of Orthodox Soldiers Who Died on the Battlefield

We are accustomed in our life that about every need, about every occasion, we turn to God for His help. And for every our call, for every cry of longing, suffering, fear, we expect that the Lord will intercede for us, protect us, comfort us; and we know that He does this constantly and that He showed His utmost concern for us by becoming a Man and dying for us and for us.

But sometimes it happens in the life of our world that God turns to man for help; and this happens all the time, but often barely noticeable, or even remains unnoticed by us. God constantly addresses each of us, asking, praying, persuading to be in this world, which He loved so much that he laid down his life for it, to be His living presence, to be His living care, seeing, virtuous, attentive. He tells us: no matter what we do good for any person, we have done for Him, inviting us to be, as it were, in His place.

And sometimes He calls some people to a more personal service to Him. V Old Testament we read about prophets: the prophet Amos says that a prophet is a person with whom God shares His thoughts; but also not only by thoughts, but also by His deeds. Remember the prophet Isaiah, who in a vision contemplated the Lord looking around and saying: Whom should I send? - and the prophet got up and said: Me, Lord !.

But behold, among the prophets, among the people who served God with an undivided heart, all great strength soul, there is one, whose memory we celebrate today and whom Christ called the greatest among those born on earth.

And indeed, when you think about his fate, it seems that there is no fate more majestic and more tragic. His whole destiny was, as it were, to not to be, so that in the consciousness and in the vision of people the only one who there is: Lord.

Remember the first thing that is said about him in the Gospel of Mark: He is a voice crying in the wilderness ... He is only a voice, he is so indistinguishable from his ministry that he became only God's voice, only an evangelist; like him, like a man of flesh and blood, a man who can yearn, and suffer, and pray, and seek, and stand, in the end, before the impending death - as if this man does not exist. He and his calling are one and the same; he is the voice of the Lord, sounding, thundering in the middle of the human desert; that desert where souls are empty - because there were people around John, and the desert remained unchanged from this.

And further. The Lord Himself says about him in the Gospel that he is the Friend of the Bridegroom. A friend who loves the bride and groom so much, so deeply that he is able, forgetting himself, to serve their love, and to serve so as never to be superfluous, never to be there and then when not needed. He is a friend who is able to protect the love of the bride and groom and remain outside, the keeper of the secret of this love. Here, too, is the great secret of a man who is capable, as it were, not become in order for something more than him, It was.

And then he says about himself in relation to the Lord: I need to decrease, come to naught, in order for Him to increase ... It is necessary that they forget about me, and remember only about Him, so that my disciples turn away from me and leave, like Andrei and John is on the banks of the Jordan, and they followed Him with an unrequited heart only: I live only so that I would be gone !.

And the last - the terrible image of John, when he was already in prison, when the ring of death narrowed around him, when he no longer had a way out, when this colossally great soul hesitated ... nothing of their own: in the past there was only a feat of renunciation of oneself, and in front there was darkness.

And at that moment, when the spirit hesitated in him, he sent his disciples to ask Christ: Are you the one we were expecting ?. If Thoth was worth young years die alive; if the One, then it was worth diminishing from year to year to be forgotten and only the image of the Coming One would grow in the eyes of people; if Thoth - then it was worth it and now to die with the last dying, because everything for which he lived is fulfilled and perfect.

But what if He is not the One ?. Then everything is lost, youth is ruined, the greatest power is ruined in mature years, everything is ruined, everything is meaningless. And it is even more terrible that this happened, because God seemed to have deceived: God who called him into the wilderness; God who took him away from people; God who inspired him to the feat of self-death. Has God deceived, and life is gone, and there is no return ?.

And so, having sent the disciples to Christ with the question: Are you the one? - he does not receive a direct, comforting answer; Christ does not answer him: Yes, I am the One, go in peace !. He only gives the prophet the answer of another prophet that the blind receive their sight, that the lame walk, that the dead are raised, that the poor are preaching the gospel. He gives the answer from Isaiah, but He does not add His words - nothing but one formidable warning: Blessed is he who will not be tempted about Me; go tell John ...

And this answer reached John in his dying expectation: believe to the end; believe without asking for signs, testimonies, or proofs; believe, because you have heard the voice of the Lord within, in the depths of your soul, commanding the work of the prophet ... Others can somehow lean on the Lord in their sometimes greatest feat; But God supports John only by commanding him to be the Forerunner and in order to show the ultimate faith, confidence in things invisible.

And that is why it takes our breath away when we think of him, and that is why, when we think of a heroic deed that has no limit, we remember John. That is why of those who were born among people by natural birth and were lifted up wonderfully by grace, he is the greatest of all.

Today we celebrate the day of the beheading of his head. Celebrating ... We used to understand the word “celebrate” as “joy”, but it means “to be idle”. And you can stay idle because joy will overwhelm your soul and it is no longer up to ordinary affairs, but it can happen that your hands dropped from grief and horror. And this is today's holiday: what will you take up in the face of what we have heard about today in the Gospel?

And on this day, when before the horror and greatness of this fate give up, the Church calls us to pray for those who are also in horror, and trembling, and bewilderment, and sometimes in despair they died: they died on the battlefield, died in dungeons, died the lonely death of a person. After you venerate the cross, we will pray for all those who laid down their lives on the battlefield for others to live; bowed to the ground so that another rose up. Let us remember those who, not only in our time, but from millennium to millennium, perished a terrible death, because they knew how to love, or because others did not know how to love, let us remember everyone, because the Lord's love embraces everyone, and for everyone is ahead, praying, the great John, who went to the end through the whole tragedy of the sacrifice of dying and death without a single word of consolation, but only by the imperious command of God: "Believe to the end, and be faithful to the end!" Amen.

Metropolitan Anthony of Sourozh. About death

I have a peculiar attitude to death, and I want to explain why I treat death not only calmly, but with desire, with hope, with longing for it.

My first vivid impression of death is a conversation with my father, who once told me: “You must live this way in order to learn to expect your death the way the groom expects his bride: wait for her, yearn for her, rejoice in advance about this meeting , and to meet her reverently, affectionately. " The second impression (of course, not immediately, but much later) is the death of my father. He died suddenly. I went to see him in a poor little room at the top of a French house, where there was a bed, a table, a stool, and several books. I went into his room, closed the door and stood. And I was overwhelmed with such a silence, such a depth of silence that, I remember, I exclaimed aloud: “And people say that there is death !. What a lie! " Because this room was filled with life, and such a fullness of life that I had never met outside, on the street, in the yard. That is why I have such an attitude towards death and why I experience the words of the apostle Paul with such force: For me, life is Christ, death is gain, because while I live in the flesh, I am separated from Christ ... But the apostle adds further words that amazed me too. The quote is not accurate, but this is what he says: he completely wants to die and unite with Christ, but adds: "However, you need me to stay alive, and I will continue to live." This is the last sacrifice he can make: everything he aspires to, what he hopes for, what he does, he is ready to postpone, because others need him.

I saw death a lot. I worked as a doctor for fifteen years, of which five years in the war or in the French Resistance. After that I lived for forty-six years as a priest and gradually buried a whole generation of our early emigration; so death I have seen a lot. And it struck me that Russians are dying in peace; Western people are more often fearful. Russians believe in life, go into life. And this is one of the things that every priest and every person must repeat to himself and to others: one must not prepare for death, one must prepare for eternal life.

We know nothing about death. We do not know what happens to us at the moment of dying, but at least rudimentary we know what eternal life is. Each of us knows from experience that there are some moments when he no longer lives in time, but with such a fullness of life, such a jubilation that does not just belong to the earth. Therefore, the first thing we must teach ourselves and others is to prepare not for death, but for life. And if we talk about death, then talk about it only as a door that will open wide and allow us to enter eternal life.

But dying is still not easy. Whatever we think about death, about eternal life, we do not know anything about death itself, about dying. I want to give you one example of my experience during the war.

I was a junior surgeon at a frontline hospital. A young soldier of about twenty-five, my age, was dying here. I came to him in the evening, sat down next to him and said: "Well, how do you feel?" He looked at me and replied: "I will die tonight." - "Are you scared to die?" “It's not scary to die, but it hurts me to part with everything that I love: with a young wife, with a village, with my parents; and one thing is really scary: to die alone. " I say, "You will not die alone." - "That is, as?" - "I'll stay with you." - "You cannot sit with me all night ..." I replied: "Of course I can!" He thought and said: "Even if you sit with me, at some point I will no longer be aware of this, and then I will go into darkness and die alone." I say, “No, not at all. I will sit next to you and we will talk. You will tell me whatever you want: about the village, about your family, about your childhood, about your wife, about everything that is in your memory, in your soul, that you love. I will hold your hand. Gradually you will get tired of talking, then I will talk more than you. And then I will see that you begin to doze, and then I will speak more quietly. You close your eyes, I will stop talking, but I will hold your hand, and you will periodically shake my hand, knowing that I am here. Gradually your hand, although it will feel my hand, will no longer be able to shake it, I myself will begin to shake your hand. And at some point you will no longer be among us, but you will not leave alone. We will complete the whole journey together. " And so hour after hour we spent this night. At some point, he really stopped squeezing my hand, I began to shake his hand so that he knew that I was here. Then his hand began to grow cold, then it opened, and he was no longer with us. And this is very important point; it is very important that a person is not alone when he leaves for eternity.

But it also happens in another way. Sometimes a person is sick for a long time, and if he is then surrounded by love, care, it is easy to die, although it hurts (I will also say about this). But it is very scary when a person is surrounded by people who are just waiting for him to die: they say, while he is sick, we are prisoners of his illness, we cannot leave his bed, we cannot return to our life, we cannot rejoice in our joys; he, like a dark cloud, hangs over us; how he would die as soon as possible ... And the dying person feels it. This can take months. Relatives come and coldly ask: “How do you like it? nothing? Do you need something? do not need anything? OK; you know, I have my own business, I'll come back to you. " And even if the voice does not sound cruel, the person knows that he was visited only because it was necessary to visit, but that his death is eagerly awaited.

And sometimes it is different. A man dies, dies for a long time, but he is loved, he is dear; and he himself is also ready to sacrifice the happiness of being with a loved one, because it can give joy or help to someone else. I will allow myself now to say something personal about myself.

My mother had been dying of cancer for three years; I followed her. We were very close, dear to each other. But I had my own job - I was the only priest in the London parish, and besides that, once a month I had to travel to Paris for the meetings of the Diocesan Council. I didn’t have the money to make a phone call, so I came back thinking: will I find my mother alive or not? She was alive - what a joy! what a meeting! .. Gradually it began to fade away. There were times when she would ring the bell, I would come, and she would say to me: "I am sad without you, we will stay together." And there were times when I myself was unbearable. I went up to her, leaving my business, and said: "It hurts me without you." And she consoled me about her dying and her death. And so gradually we together went into eternity, because when she died, she took with her all my love for her, everything that was between us. And there was so much between us! We lived almost all our lives together, only the first years of emigration we lived apart, because there was nowhere to live together. But then we lived together, and she knew me deeply. And once she said to me: "How strange: the more I know you, the less I could say about you, because every word that I would say about you would have to be corrected with some additional features." Yes, we reached the point where we knew each other so deeply that we could not say anything about each other, but we could join life, dying and death.

And so we must remember that every dying person in such a situation when any callousness, indifference or desire "would finally end" are unbearable. A person feels this, knows, and we must learn to overcome all dark, gloomy, nasty feelings in ourselves and, forgetting about ourselves, think deeply, peer, get used to another person. And then death becomes a victory: O death, where is your sting ?! O death, where is your victory? Christ is risen, and not one of the dead is in the grave ...

I want to say something more about death, because what I have already said is very personal. Death surrounds us all the time, death is the fate of all mankind. Now there are wars, people are dying in terrible suffering, and we must learn to be calm in relation to our own death, because we see life in it, the emerging eternal life. Victory over death, over the fear of death, consists in living deeper and deeper for eternity and in bringing others to this fullness of life.

But before death there are other moments. We do not die right away, we do not simply die out bodily. There are very strange phenomena... I remember one of our old women, this Maria Andreevna, a wonderful little creature, who somehow came to me and said: “Father Anthony, I don’t know what to do with myself: I can’t sleep anymore. Throughout the night, images of my past rise in my memory, but not light, but only dark, bad images that torment me. I turned to the doctor, asked him to give me some kind of sleeping pill, but sleeping pills do not relieve this haze. When I take sleeping pills, I can no longer sort of separate these images from myself, they become delirious, and I feel even worse. What should I do?" I said to her then: “Maria Andreevna, you know, I don’t believe in reincarnation, but I believe that it is given to us from God to experience our life more than once, - not in the sense that you will die and come back to life, but in that, what is happening to you now. When you were young, you, within the narrow limits of your understanding, sometimes did wrong; and by word, and thought, and deed they denigrated themselves and others. Then you forgot it and in different ages to the best of their understanding, they continued to act like, again, to humiliate, defile, and defame themselves. Now, when you no longer have the strength to resist the memories, they emerge, and each time they emerge, they say to you: Maria Andreevna, now that you are over eighty years old, almost ninety - if you were in the same position that you are now I remember when you were twenty, thirty, forty, fifty years old, would you have acted as you did then ?. If you can look deeply into what happened then, into your state, into events, into people and say: no, now, with my experience of life, I could never say this deadly word, I could not do this as I did! - if you can say this with all your being: with your thought, and your heart, and your will, and your flesh, it will leave you. But other, more and more other images will come. And every time the image comes, God will pose a question to you: is this your past sin or is it still your present sin? Because if you once hated some person and did not forgive him, did not reconcile with him, then the sin then is your present sinfulness; it has not departed from you and will not go away until you repent. "

In the same way I can give another example. One day I was summoned by the family of one of our decrepit old women, a bright, bright woman. She clearly had to die on the same day. She confessed, and finally I asked her: "Tell me, Natasha, have you forgiven everyone and everything, or do you still have some kind of splinter in your soul?" She replied: “I have forgiven everyone, except my son-in-law; I will never forgive him! " I said to this: “In that case, I will not give you a prayer of permission and I will not partake of the Holy Mysteries; you will go to the judgment of God and will answer before God for your words. ” She says: "After all, I will die today!" - “Yes, you will die without prayer of permission and without communion, if you do not repent and are not reconciled. I'll be back in an hour ”- and left. When I returned an hour later, she met me with shining eyes and said: “How right you were! I called my son-in-law, we explained, reconciled - he is now coming to me, and I hope we kiss each other to death, and I will enter eternity reconciled with everyone. "